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- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...
- HOW ARE YOU?
- LOOK HOW FANCY YOU GIRLS ARE.
I SEE ALL THESE GIRLS, LIKE, DRESSED UP
IN HIGH HEELS AND FULL MAKEUP.
AND I'M LIKE, "I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO OJAI."
- I HONESTLY AM MORE NERVOUS
ABOUT SEEING ADRIENNE THAN I AM
ABOUT SEEING ANY OF THE OTHER WOMEN.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ADRIENNE'S MOTIVES ARE.
I THINK SHE'S VERY MANIPULATIVE.
- WELL, SHE'S CLEARLY NOT A FAN OF MINE.
- I HAVE NO FILTER.
AND I DO SAY THINGS THAT I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T SAY.
- AWW. - I DON'T WANNA GET INTO IT.
- SOMEBODY'S CRYING. UH-OH.
- SHUT THE [bleep] UP.
- OH, MY GOSH.
[upbeat music]
- LIFE ISN'T ALL DIAMONDS AND ROSE,
BUT IT SHOULD BE.
- MONEY DOESN'T GIVE YOU CLASS,
IT JUST GIVES YOU MONEY.
- KNOW YOUR FRIENDS.
SHOW YOUR ENEMIES THE DOOR.
- I FOUGHT TOO HARD FOR THIS ZIP CODE
TO GO HOME NOW.
- I LIKE TO HAVE FUN,
BUT I DON'T PLAY GAMES.
- LIFE IS A JOURNEY.
AND I'M FINDING MYSELF EVERY DAY.
- I'M BORN AND RAISED IN BEVERLY HILLS.
THIS IS MY TOWN.
[indistinct chatter]
- NO, THAT I HAD BEEN THERE.
- STRONGER THAN MY DAUGHTERS.
- I FEEL LIKE BRANDI IS TRYING.
I FEEL LIKE I'M TRYING.
AND I FEEL THAT WE BOTH WANT THIS TO GO AWAY.
- I KNOW I'VE APOLOGIZED TO YOU A FEW TIMES.
I HAVE NO FILTER.
AND I DO SAY THINGS THAT I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T SAY.
- THAT'S--'CAUSE THAT WAS REALLY UNCALLED-FOR.
- AWW. SOMEBODY'S CRYING. - I DON'T WANNA GET INTO IT.
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T, BUT-- - UH-OH.
- CALL IT OUT.
- IT'S OKAY. - SOMEBODY'S CRYING.
- WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT?
- 'CAUSE SHE'S CRYING. SHE FEELS BAD.
- BUT YOU'RE GONNA-- DON'T SCREAM IT.
- "CALL IT OUT"? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- THAT MEANS SHUT THE [bleep] UP.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
- THAT MEANS TO BE QUIET.
WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT? - NO.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I FELT BAD FOR HER.
- IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT KIM,
SAY, "KIM, ARE YOU OKAY?"
DON'T SIT THERE AND CACKLE 100 TIMES
TO GET EVERYONE'S ATTENTION
TO MAKE A SPECTACLE.
IT WAS OBNOXIOUS.
WE'RE JUST HAVING A PERSONAL CONVERSATION.
BUT YOU WANNA YELL ABOUT IT?
- I'M TELLING YOU, I FEEL BAD FOR HER.
- YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME. YOU'RE TELLING EVERYBODY.
- THAT'S OKAY.
- [crying]
I'M GONNA USE THE LADIES' ROOM.
I'LL BE BACK. I'M GONNA USE THE LADIES'.
- SHE FEELS BAD.
OH, MY GOSH.
- THEY WANT TO SEE YOU FAIL, OKAY?
- MM-HMM. - THEY DO.
A LOT OF THESE PEOPLE AT THIS TABLE
WANNA SEE YOU FAIL, I'M JUST SAYING.
- THAT WAS UNCALLED-FOR, TO SAY "SHUT THE [bleep] UP"
TO ADRIENNE. COME ON.
I DON'T THINK THAT ADRIENNE NEEDED
TO ANNOUNCE TO THE TABLE THAT KIM WAS CRYING,
BUT I CERTAINLY DON'T THINK
THAT BRANDI NEEDED TO CHOOSE THOSE WORDS--
"SHUT THE [bleep] UP."
- MY GOSH.
- BRANDI USES THE "F" WORD
LIKE I USE "BLOODY HELL."
I MEAN-- YOU KNOW, COME ON.
LET'S NOT MAKE A BIG DEAL OF IT.
WHAT?
- YOU'RE GOING OVER AND ABOVE DEFENDING.
- OH, NO, I'M NOT DEFENDING-- - LISA, COME ON.
- YOU KNOW, IF THEY THINK I'M DEFENDING BRANDI,
WELL, MAYBE THAT'S TRUE.
BECAUSE WE'VE SEEN HOW IT'S GONE DOWN BEFORE.
- YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
- YOU ARE A *** ***. - WATCH YOUR MOUTH.
- MAYBE BRANDI DOES NEED SOMEBODY IN HER CORNER.
- FOR HER TO SAY "SHUT THE [bleep] UP"
TO ADRIENNE WHEN SHE'S CRYING...
- I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT.
- IS INAPPROPRIATE.
AND FOR YOU TO SAY ANYTHING OTHER THAN THAT IS WRONG.
- OKAY. ALL RIGHT. - AM I NOT WRONG?
- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE.
- NO, DON'T JUST SAY THAT TO SHUT ME UP.
- IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE. - TELL THE TRUTH.
- I SAID IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE.
IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE. I'VE SAID THAT.
BUT SHE WAS DEFENDING YOUR SISTER.
SHE SAID, "IT'S INAPPROPRIATE."
I SAID, "YES, IT'S INAPPROPRIATE."
SHE SAID, "YES, IT'S INAPPRO--"
YES, KYLE, I GET IT.
IT'S INAPPROPRIATE.
BRANDI'S LANGUAGE, NOT MINE.
BRANDI FELT THAT ADRIENNE
WAS DRAWING ATTENTION TO LISA--
- NO. NO, NO. LISA WAS--
- WANT ME TO BE HONEST?
DO YOU WANT ME TO BE HONEST?
YOU ALWAYS SAY, "LET ME BE HONEST."
I'M GONNA BE HONEST.
THAT LOOKS RIDICULOUS FOR YOU TO SAY THAT.
- NO, I'M SAYING, THAT'S HOW SHE FELT.
- REALLY? - THAT'S NOT HOW SHE FELT.
- OKAY, I'M NOT FIGHTING ANYBODY'S BATTLES FOR HER.
ASK HER.
- WHO TALKS TO ANOTHER WOMAN THAT WAY?
- THAT'S WHAT--I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY WHO DOES THAT.
- BOTTOM LINE, I DON'T CARE WHAT HER EXPLANATION
COULD BE, IT'S WRONG.
IT'S RUDE. WHO TALKS--
both: TO ANOTHER WOMAN THAT WAY?
- THERE'S SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH HER.
THAT WAS SO RUDE.
EXTREMELY RUDE.
[water running]
- WOW. I DON'T WANT YOU-- HONESTLY, I DON'T--
I'VE BEEN IN THE SAME PLACE THAT YOU'VE BEEN IN.
AND I-I AM SO SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID TO YOU
AND HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN.
THE WHOLE THING, I JUST DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU.
I AM REALLY HAPPY THAT KIM IS BEING RECEPTIVE TO ME,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT'S A QUESTION MARK.
A LOT HAD GONE DOWN.
ALL RIGHT, AT LEAST I DON'T DO CRYSTAL ***
IN THE BATHROOM ALL NIGHT LONG, ***.
DO NOT PUT YOUR [bleep] FINGER IN MY FACE!
- OH, PLEASE. - YOU'RE GONNA GET
MY [bleep] FINGER IN YOUR FACE TOO.
- LISTEN, LISTEN, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. STOP IT!
- YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN,
BUT IT--IT'S GOING WELL.
- [crying] THAT'S WHAT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.
- [stammering] YOU GUYS WEREN'T--
- [sobs]
YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ME BACK THEN.
- I KNOW, BUT YOU WEREN'T YOURSELF AT THAT TIME.
- I KNOW, BUT WHAT YOU SAID WAS SO WRONG.
I NEVER EVEN KNEW WHAT THAT WAS.
I HAD NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
IT WAS JUST SO MEAN.
I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DID THAT.
- I WAS ON THE DEFENSIVE.
- [crying]
[sobbing]
- OH, MY GOD.
I FELT BAD FOR HER.
- NO, I KNOW BUT SHE WAS DEFENDING KIM BECAUSE SHE--
- YEAH, BUT YOU DON'T TALK THAT WAY.
- OKAY. COME ON. THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
YOU WOULD NORMALLY NEVER SAY THAT.
IF LISA WOULD NEVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT,
WHICH I KNOW SHE NEVER WOULD,
WHY IS IT OKAY THAT BRANDI DID?
- WHAT'S HAPPENING?
- VERY INAPPROPRIATE.
- WHAT IS HAPPENING? - VERY INAPPROPRIATE.
IF SOMEONE HAD SAID TO LISA, "SHUT THE [bleep] UP"...
- OKAY.
- WE'D BE HEARING ABOUT IT NOT FOR TWO YEARS,
NOT FOR THREE YEARS, PROBABLY A LIFETIME.
I JUST FELT BAD FOR HER ABOUT CRYING.
- I REALLY-- I'M GONNA SAY THIS.
I WANNA BE OPEN AND I HAVE BEEN VERY NICE TO BRANDI.
BUT, MY GOD, TO SIT THERE AND SAY
"SHUT THE [bleep] UP" TO ADRIENNE?
I'M NOT OKAY WITH THAT. - OKAY, OKAY.
YOU'RE NOT OKAY WITH THAT. - I'M NOT.
- IT'S INAPPROPRIATE. I AGREE WITH YOU, IT WAS.
- WE'RE HAVING A NICE, CALM EVENING.
- YOU SAYING, "SHUT THE [bleep] UP"--
- WELL, SHE'S [bleep] ANNOYING.
- NO. NO, NO. BUT YOU SAYING THAT IS--
- YEAH, BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO POINT SOMETHING OUT
WHEN SOMEONE'S SCREAMING AT THE TABLE.
- NO, I UNDERSTAND THAT. [sighs]
ARE YOU OKAY? - YEAH.
- AND SO YOU WERE EMOTIONAL. - YEAH.
- AND THEN ADRIENNE SAID, "OH, SOMEBODY'S CRYING."
- BUT WE WERE HAVING-- [stammering]
- I KNOW, BUT THE "SHUT THE [bleep] UP" IS--
- YEAH, BUT SHE KEPT SAYING IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT, LIKE--
LIKE, I JUST HATE WHEN PEOPLE DRAW ATTENTION TO--
I'M SORRY. - I KNOW, BUT--
- WE WERE JUST HAVING A MOMENT.
- TRUST ME, YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO HER.
- NO. I LOVE AND RESPECT LISA.
BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE I OWE ADRIENNE AN APOLOGY.
I THINK THAT SHE WAS WRONG IN THE WAY SHE HANDLED IT.
AND I'M NOT SORRY.
- DARLING, TRUST ME.
JUST SAY--SAY THAT.
JUST SAY, "I'M REALLY SORRY.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE USED THAT WORD."
SAY THAT. - I'M NOT SORRY.
- WELL, FAKE IT.
I'M SURE YOU'VE DONE THAT BEFORE.
- [laughs]
- I HAVE NO PROBLEM TELLING BRANDI,
LIKE A MOTHER, THAT THIS WAS CLEARLY INAPPROPRIATE.
THAT'S WHAT BRANDI NEEDS TO LEARN.
OKAY, NOW YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE.
- NO, I DO NOT. - YOU NEED TO SAY SOMETHING.
- NOPE. - YES, YOU DO.
- IT'S OKAY.
I'M SORRY I SAID THE "F" WORD.
- APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
- [coughs]
- GUESS WHAT, I'M SORRY I SAID THE "F" WORD
IN THE RESTAURANT, BUT I'M NOT SORRY
FOR TELLING ADRIENNE TO SHUT UP.
[sighs] [cell phone rings]
HEY, BOO-BOO.
I LOVE YOU.
BYE. [chuckles]
BYE. MY GAY BOOK AGENT.
I GOT A BOOK DEAL TODAY,
WHICH I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE CARES ABOUT,
BUT I'M REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT.
- CONGRATULATIONS. - THANK YOU.
- THAT'S GREAT. - THANKS.
[laughs]
- WHAT'S IT ABOUT?
- DIVORCE. - MM.
- YEAH. IT'S A GOOD TIME.
- UH-- CONGRATULATIONS?
- [exhaling heavily]
- JUST BREATHE. MEDITATE.
THROUGH THE NOSE, OUT THROUGH THE MOUTH.
- WHAT? - I LOVE TO MEDITATE.
- WHY WERE YOU MEDITATING?
- NOW WE CAN START. [clears throat]
- DID I MISS SOMETHING? - ME TOO.
- THAT HAPPENS. - RIGHT.
- IT'S HARD FOR, I GUESS,
WOMEN TO BE HAPPY FOR OTHER WOMEN.
I GUESS IT'S WEIRD. YOU HAVE TO MEDITATE,
INSTEAD OF JUST BEING HAPPY FOR THEM.
- I'M ALWAYS HAPPY. - I AGREE, I AGREE.
- BUT YOU'RE LIKE-- [exhales]
JUST SAY CONGRATULATIONS.
- NO OFFENSE, BRANDI, BUT YOU WERE
THE FIRST ONE TO ATTACK HER FOR DOING A BOOK.
- UH, IT'S BEEN, LIKE, A HOT MINUTE.
- THREE WOMEN DIE EVERY SINGLE DAY
FROM DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. - NO, IT'S NOT.
IT'S NOT EITHER. - IT IS.
- IT'S ABOUT WOMEN THAT ARE DYING EVERY SINGLE--
THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, OKAY?
- YOU'VE MADE IT THE WORLD'S BUSINESS.
- WELL, I'M JUST SAYING, YOU EXPECT--
DON'T EXPECT HER TO BE HAPPY FOR YOU
IF YOU WEREN'T HAPPY FOR HER.
- BUT YOU'RE GONNA MEDITATE? LIKE, OKAY, MEDITATE.
I'M JUST SAYING-- - IT'S A JOKE.
- IT WAS GOOD. IT WAS GOOD.
- THIS IS INTERESTING TO ME THAT
YOU WENT AND GOT A BOOK DEAL TO WRITE ABOUT
YOUR EX-HUSBAND LEAVING YOU.
I-I THINK THAT'S FASCINATING.
BRANDI'S HUSBAND CHEATED ON HER WITH LEANN RIMES,
LEFT BRANDI, MARRIED LEANN RIMES.
IS THAT A WHOLE BOOK?
THE POINT IS, IS IT'S SILLY TO SAY
WOMEN SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR EACH OTHER
WHEN YOU'VE MADE THAT COMMENT.
AND WE SHOULD MOVE FORWARD.
EVERYONE SHOULD BE HAPPY FOR EACH OTHER.
- OH, WE MOVED FORWARD.
IT'S VERY INTERESTING, GIRLS.
A LOT OF OLD STUFF GOING ON AT THIS TABLE RIGHT HERE.
- WELCOME. [chuckles]
- IT'S LIKE, "LET IT GO, GIRLS."
LIFE IS GONNA BE REALLY MISERABLE
IF YOU CAN'T MOVE ON FROM THOSE THINGS.
- YOLANDA, DARLING,
NOBODY'S LISTENING TO YOU.
- LET'S JUST HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.
HAPPY FOR EACH OTHER, RIGHT?
- THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT.
HERE, CHEERS. [clink]
- IT'S THREE YEARS LATER,
SO IT'S A DIFFERENT SITUATION.
- REALLY? IS IT DIFFERENT?
LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU VERY QUICKLY HERE.
OKAY, SO LISTEN UP. - OH, WOW. OOH, OKAY.
- LET ME BE VERY CLEAR WITH YOU.
I WAS LEFT WITH $700,000 IN DEBT
AND $1.5 MILLION LAWSUIT.
I HAD A ONE-BOOK DEAL.
- YOU STARTED IT. - THAT IS A LIE.
- I WOULD NEVER, EVER, EVER ATTACK YOU FIRST.
- [shushes] PLEASE, QUIET.
I'M GONNA LEAVE. I'M LEAVING. I'M TOO EMBARRASSED.
PLEASE, PLEASE.
- I THINK BRANDI NEEDS THIS FOR FINANCIAL GAIN
AND TAYLOR'S IN A FINANCIAL MESS AS WELL.
WHAT THEY'RE DOING RIGHT NOW
IS JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE.
- WHY ARE YOU DISCUSSING LIKE THIS?
DON'T YOU GUY--CAN JUST DISCUSS LIKE NORMAL WOMEN?
TALK NORMAL?
WHERE ARE THESE WOMEN FROM?
WHAT PLANET ARE THEY FROM?
I MEAN, ONE DOESN'T SEEM TO WISH
THE OTHER ONE WELL ON A BOOK DEAL.
ONE TELLS THE OTHER ONE, "SHUT THE [bleep] UP."
I MEAN--[laughs] IT'S LIKE THE WILD, WILD WEST
ON THAT DINNER TABLE, YOU KNOW?
- I WAS JUST SAYING I GOT A BOOK DEAL, SO I'M EXCITED.
- WELL, THAT'S BLOODY GOOD NEWS.
OKAY, SO LET'S ALL CHEERS TO THAT...
- CHEERS. THANK YOU. - FOR GOD'S SAKE.
I'M HAPPY FOR YOU. - THANK YOU.
- OKAY, GOOD. - YEAH.
- CAN I SAY I GOT A BOOK DEAL TOO?
I JUST HAVEN'T SAID ANYTHING,
BUT I GOT A BOOK DEAL TOO.
- ADRIENNE ISN'T SUPER SMART.
I DON'T KNOW, LIKE, IS IT A CHILDREN'S BOOK?
LIKE, SHE CAN'T POSSIBLY PUT THAT MUCH TOGETHER.
- IS ANYBODY GONNA HAVE DESSERT, GIRLS?
OR ARE WE, UH-- - LET'*** IT.
- COMING UP...
- AAH! GO RIGHT!
- OH, LET HER WIN, LET HER WIN, LET HER WIN.
- AAH! - JEEZ, I'M SCARED.
- HELLO, THIS IS DANGEROUS.
I'M SCARED. I'M SCARED I'M SCARED.
- GOOD MORNING, GIRLS.
[indistinct chatter]
- MY RING HAS ALMOST THE SAME SETTING...
- YEAH. - INSIDE.
- I'M WITHOUT. NO MORE FOR ME.
I KEEP 'EM IN-- YEAH.
I KEEP 'EM IN THE SAFE. - BUT YOU STILL HAVE IT.
- YES, I DO. I HAVE IT.
- JEWELRY IS OVERRATED, HONEY.
TOTALLY OVERRATED, SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
- AS LONG AS YOU'RE HAPPY. - EXACTLY.
- I DON'T WEAR MY JEWELRY ANYMORE THAT KELSEY GAVE ME,
'CAUSE I'VE MOVED ON WITH MY LIFE.
AND I'M VERY HAPPY WITH DIMITRI.
- DO YOU THINK YOU WILL MARRY HIM?
- MARRY DIMITRI? - YEAH.
- WELL, NOT YET. WE'RE JUST, YOU KNOW--
- YOU HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT IT?
- WE'VE TALKED ABOUT IT.
WE'RE JUST EXPLORING EACH OTHER
AND GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER,
UNLIKE SOMEBODY ELSE.
- YOU'VE BEEN EXPLORING EACH OTHER
FOR, LIKE, SIX MONTHS.
YOU MUST'VE SEEN EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY BY NOW.
- SIX MONTHS? THAT'S NOT THAT LONG.
NO, TAKE YOUR TIME, GIRL.
- I NEED TO TAKE MY TIME.
- I WAS IN A MARRIAGE FOR 13 YEARS.
[deep breath] I NEED TIME.
- ADRIENNE, LET'S GO.
- WOW, BEAUTIFUL DAY.
- OH, MY GOSH. IT'S GORGEOUS.
- OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
- ISN'T IT GORGEOUS? - OH, MY GOSH.
- YEAH. - PERFECT DAY FOR A HIKE.
- I REALLY DIDN'T APPRECIATE THE WAY BRANDI
HANDLED LAST NIGHT.
IT WAS KIM'S TRIP.
BUT I JUST WANNA MOVE FORWARD.
- WAIT, WHO ARE WE MISSING?
- KIM, TAYLOR, BRANDI, LISA. OKAY.
- OH, I FEEL LIKE GOING BACK TO BED.
- I KNOW, WE WOKE UP SO EARLY.
- AND BY THE WAY, YOU SNORE.
- YOU DO TOO! - OH, PLEASE.
I CALLED IT FIRST.
- I SAID IT TO YOU IN THE MORNING.
- IT WAS LIKE A LITTLE PIGGY IN BED LAST NIGHT.
- A PIGGY? [laughs]
- IT WAS.
WHAT I'M JUST SAYING TO YOU, HONESTLY,
IS IF YOU JUST SAID TO HER, "BUTT OUT"--
BUT WHEN YOU'RE SAYING-- - TO WHO?
- TO ADRIENNE. - OH.
- BUT I--OR WHOEVER ELSE YOU SAID IT TO.
BUT I'M SAYING, WHEN YOU SAY,
"SHUT THE [bleep] UP"-- - BUT LISTEN.
- NO, NO. WAIT, WAIT. I'M JUST SAYING.
IT'S VERY HARD FOR ME TO DEFEND YOU BECAUSE--
- WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
- NO, IT GIVES THEM AMMUNITION.
IF YOU TURN AROUND AND YOU JUST SAID,
"OKAY, BUTT OUT."
OR, "YOU KNOW WHAT, ADRIENNE? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS."
THAT'S OKAY. BUT WHEN YOU'RE SAYING,
"SHUT THE [bleep] UP" ACROSS THE TABLE...
FOR HER TO SAY, "SHUT THE [bleep] UP,"
THAT, TO THESE WOMEN, IS A GIFT
SHE'S JUST GIVEN THEM.
THAT HAS PROVED EVERYTHING THEY HAVE BEEN SAYING
ABOUT HER NOT FITTING IN.
- YOU'RE RIGHT. I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THE "F" WORD.
BUT I WAS HAVING A REALLY AMAZING CONVERSATION WITH KIM.
WE WERE, LIKE, HAVING A MOMENT.
WE WERE CRYING-- SHE WAS CRYING
OUT OF, LIKE, HAPPINESS.
IT WAS NOT HER BUSINESS. - I GET THAT.
AND I-- NO PROBLEM WITH THAT.
BUT I'M SAYING, YOU'VE GOT ENOUGH PROBLEMS
WITH THESE WOMEN ANYWAY.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST TURN AROUND AND SAY, "YOU KNOW WHAT?
BUTT OUT." BUT WHEN YOU'RE SAYING,
"SHUT THE [bleep] UP." IT'S JUST LIKE--
IT'S INFLAMMATORY. IT JUST--
- WELL, I DID SAY SORRY FOR SAYING THE "F" WORD.
BUT I STILL THINK SHE SHOULD SHUT UP.
- ONLY AFTER I TOLD YOU OFF.
- SHE SHOULD STAY OUT OF IT.
IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HER.
- I THINK THERE'S A LOT OF HIDDEN RESENTMENT
STILL GOING ON.
- HER AND PAUL WERE TRYING TO INTIMIDATE ME
INTO GOING ON TWITTER AND PUTTING THINGS--
TRYING TO PUT WORDS INTO MY MOUTH THAT I WOULD NEVER SAY.
- DARLING, NOBODY PUTS ANYTHING INTO YOUR MOUTH.
YOU KNOW THAT. - OH, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
- [laughs] - HOPEFULLY SOME DAY.
[laughter] - WITH A BIT OF LUCK.
- PAUL AND ADRIENNE CALLED ME AND
THEY WERE DEVASTATED BY THE PEOPLE
KIND OF ATTACKING THEM FOR GOING AFTER LISA.
AND THEY WERE GETTING A LOT OF TWITTER THREATS.
AND THEY WANTED ME TO GO ON TWITTER AND SAY
WHAT I SAID WASN'T TRUE.
AND GUESS WHAT? I'M NOT YOUR PUPPET, ***.
I'M NOT.
I DID APOLOGIZE TO ADRIENNE.
WAS SHE OUT OF LINE? IT WAS NOT HER BUSINESS.
- TRUST ME. I KNOW WHAT WINDS THEM UP.
AND I THINK YOU'D HAVE MADE THE SAME POINT
IF YOU'D SAID IT DIFFERENTLY.
- YOU'RE RIGHT, BUT I HAVE A TEMPER.
- SAY THAT AGAIN. - YOU'RE RIGHT.
- SAY THAT AGAIN. - YOU'RE RIGHT.
- I LOVE THAT. - [laughs]
- IT'S YOU. YOU'RE TAKING ME DOWN, GLANVILLE.
ALL RIGHT THEN, NOW WE'RE GOING FOR A PICNIC.
- OKAY, LET'S GO.
- THEY HAVE THE BENTLEY.
- OKAY, I'M NOT GOING WITH YOU.
I DON'T TRUST YOU. - GET AWAY. GET AWAY.
LISA SEES THE GOLF CART.
SHE'S LIKE, "OH, WELL, THE BENTLEY'S MINE."
- LISA, YOU DRIVE A BENTLEY EVERY DAY IN L.A.
- I WANT A SEATBELT, BECAUSE WITH YOU DRIVING,
I'M NOT-- - AREN'T YOU HAPPY?
- INDOOR ACTIVITY. - I KNOW.
- COME ON, FOSTER, PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN.
- OKAY, YOLANDA.
- FOSTER, COME ON.
[laughter]
- WOW.
- OH, THIS IS EXCITING.
- COME ON!
- MOVE IT! - ENJOY THE BEAUTY.
- MOVE IT! - GO, GO, GO!
- SO FUNNY.
- DO YOU LIKE MY BADMINTON SHOES?
- I--THEY'RE SO BADMINTON.
[laughter]
- WHAT IS IT, LIKE, SENIOR CITIZENS IN THERE?
PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN.
- COME ON, COME ON! - MOVE IT!
- JUST GO ON THE HILL AND GO AROUND THEM.
- WE DARE YOU.
- GO. - OKAY, OKAY.
[overlapping chatter]
- THEY'RE TRYING TO PASS, YOLANDA.
- I'M TAKING THEM. - TAKE IT.
[overlapping chatter]
[exclamations]
- I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ***, BENTLEY OR NOT.
- WE'RE GONNA ROLL AND GET HURT.
- WELL, I'M HAVING A BIT OF FUN WITH YOLANDA,
AND SHE'S SUDDENLY GETTING ALL COMPETITIVE.
- YOU ARE NOT PASSING ME, LISA VANDERPUMP.
- WE WILL WIN. - GO, GO, GO!
- NO, THESE DO TIP OVER! THEY TIP OVER.
LISA'S TRYING TO ZIP PAST YOLANDA.
YOLANDA'S LIKE, "NO, YOU DON'T."
- AAH! - NO, GO RIGHT!
- HELLO, THIS IS DANGEROUS.
OH, LET HER WIN, LET HER WIN, LET HER WIN.
PLEASE, I'M SCARED. I'M SCARED.
I'M [bleep] SERIOUS. I'M SCARED.
I'M SCARED. I NEED TO GET OFF.
- KYLE HAS THIS SIDE OF HER THAT'S AFRAID OF EVERYTHING.
- LOOK AT HER, SHE TAKING HER--
- HOW ABOUT LOOK AT THE ROAD INSTEAD?
- AAH! - [bleep].
- [bleep]. JUST KIDDING.
- AAH! - OH, DUDE.
- CLEARLY I'M THE BETTER DRIVER
BECAUSE I LOOK BEHIND ME
AND I SEE DRIVING MISS DAISY.
AND SHE'S WAY FAR AWAY.
- LISA, PLEASE STOP.
both: OH, MY GOD.
- IT'S SURPRISING THAT AFTER WORLD WAR III
KICKED OFF LAST NIGHT WE'RE ALL BACK ON THE SAME PAGE.
IT'S QUITE HARD TO KEEP UP WITH.
IF YOU'RE A SANE PERSON,
THIS GROUP MOVES VERY QUICKLY.
- I FEEL SICK.
- HERE WE GO. - LISA, WE NEED YOU.
BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY.
COME ON, WE NEED A COUPLE OF GIRLS THAT KNOW.
- OKAY, HERE WE GO.
- HOW FAR BACK ARE YOU? - OH.
OKAY. - GO, GIRL.
- AAH!
- HOW DO YOU START IT?
OR DO WE SERVE, LIKE--
- HERE.
- YEAH, YEAH! - OH.
- OH, SORRY.
- HERE IT IS. - OH!
[laughter]
- SPAZ.
OOH, WOW.
- [grunts]
- OH. - HERE.
- THE ENTIRE GROUP SUCKS.
- ALL RIGHT.
JESUS. - [laughs]
- WE COULD POTENTIALLY BE
THE WORST BADMINTON PLAYERS ON THE PLANET.
[laughter]
- USE A TENNIS BALL.
- AAH!
- THIS IS A VERY SAD STORY, GIRLS.
- THERE!
- I THINK THESE GIRLS ARE REAL BEVERLY HILLS GIRLS.
I DON'T THINK SPORT IS, UH, NUMBER ONE ON THEIR LIST.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HIT A BALL.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO RUN, GIRLS.
LISA. LISA! JESUS.
- ARE YOU TO BE FUNNY WITH THOSE SHOES, LISA?
[laughter]
- [groans]
- SHE LOOKED LIKE A BEEKEEPER.
THOSE SHOES-- THAT'S HORRENDOUS.
[laughter]
- HERE WE GO. - MOVE, VANDERPUMP, MOVE.
- YEAH, NICE. COME ON. - NICE.
[takes picture]
- UGH. - GIRL, YES!
FINALLY! - THEY WON.
- WHOO!
- THIS IS A TRIP FOR US TO GO ON
WHERE WE CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME, HEAL, HAVE FUN.
SO, PLEASE, NO FIGHTING.
- AH, I'M USED TO BACKHAND. - WE WON!
WE DEFINITELY WON, GIRL.
- COMING UP...
- DO THAT AGAIN.
- WOW. [moans]
- WHAT THE [bleep]?
- I FEEL LIKE IT'S ALMOST LIKE A CHURCH.
LET'S GET MARRIED-- AGAIN.
[laughter]
- LISA, HOLD IT OPEN FOR ME.
- WHOOPS. JUST JOKING.
- ALL RIGHT, SO, LADIES, JUST HAVE A SEAT AT THE LOUNGERS.
UM, YOU CAN SEE WE DO HAVE THE STEAM, SAUNA,
COOL PLUNGE, JACUZZI. SHOWERS ARE OVER ON THIS SIDE.
MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME AND YOUR THERAPIST
WILL BE UP TO GREET YOU
AND TAKE YOU TO YOUR KUYAM ROOM MOMENTARILY.
ALL RIGHT, ENJOY. - BYE.
- ENJOY YOUR-- - CHEERS.
- THANKS. - THANK YOU.
[overlapping dialogue]
- MAY THIS NEXT ACTIVITY
BRING YOU ONE STEP CLOSER TO EACH OTHER.
[laughter]
YOU CAN'T GET ANY CLOSER
THAN TAKING OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES TOGETHER
AND REACHING UP, SO--
- REACHING UP?
- THIS IS A VERY SPIRITUAL MOMENT, GIRLS.
YOU'RE REACHING UP,
PUTTING ON THE CLAY FROM GOD.
I THINK THIS IS REALLY NEAT.
- HALLELUJAH. AMEN.
- I KIND OF FEEL LIKE KIM HAS GONE
FROM ONE DEGREE OF WACKY TO ANOTHER DEGREE OF WACKY.
LIKE, SHE'S JUST DONE, LIKE, THIS WEIRD TRANSFORMATION
INTO, LIKE, "SPIRITUAL KIM."
WHICH IS KIND OF FREAKING ME OUT.
- [squeaks] - OH, COME ON.
- STOP! I WILL RIP THAT TOWEL RIGHT OFF YOU, KIM.
[laughter]
- LADIES, YOU'LL NEED YOUR ROBES WITH YOU,
AS WELL AS YOUR SLIPPERS AND YOUR WRAPS.
[laughter]
- BUT I OWE YOU ONE! - NO!
- I OWE YOU ONE FOR HAWAII.
- IT'S ACTUALLY QUITE NICE TO SEE ALL THE WOMEN AFTER,
YOU KNOW, THE SHUT-THE-[bleep]-UP-GATE--
[chuckles]
THAT WE'VE ACTUALLY MOVED ON.
AND NOW HERE WE ARE ALL NAKED TOGETHER,
NICE AND COZY. - GROSS.
- SO THE KUYAM IS A CHUMASH TRADITION.
IT MEANS "A PLACE TO REST TOGETHER."
THERE ARE SEVERAL PARTS TO YOUR TREATMENT.
THE FIRST IS AT THE TIP OF YOUR ABALONE SHELL.
IT HAS BEEN INFUSED WITH LAVENDER AND LEMONGRASS.
IT'S DETOXIFYING, BUT IT'S ALSO HYDRATING.
- MY TOES WON'T ACTUALLY SET.
[indistinct chatter]
- BEING NAKED IN FRONT OF THE OTHER WOMEN
WITH A BUNCH OF MUD ALL OVER YOU
IS NOT REALLY MY IDEA OF RELAXING.
- I FIND THIS A VERY LESBIAN-LOOKING THING.
[laughter]
NOTHING QUITE LIKE THREE GIRLS RUBBING EACH OTHER.
I MEAN-- - WELL, ACTUALLY--
- WOW. - OH!
[both moaning]
- GUYS, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO USE OUR INDOOR VOICES.
- I WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN.
- WOW. OH!
[overlapping dialogue]
- I'M GOOD. - WHAT?
[indistinct chatter]
- KIM STARTS TO REALLY GET INTO IT.
AND SHE'S MOANING. SHE'S LIKE-- [moans]
I WAS LIKE... - DON'T WORRY.
- JUST LESS THAN A MINUTE.
- DO YOU LIKE IT? - YEAH.
- TAYLOR AND I ARE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER GOING,
"WHAT THE [bleep]?"
- THIS IS THE MOST FUN KIM'S HAD IN A WHILE.
- IT'S GOOD, RIGHT? - YEAH.
- CAN YOU STOP SHOWING US YOUR--
- LISA *** VANDERPUMP.
- LISA, YOU FORGOT TO-- YOU FORGOT SOMETHING.
- OH, YOLANDA.
[laughter]
[exclamations]
- OH, MY GOD!
[exclamations]
- I'M LEAVING. I'M TOO NERVOUS.
WE WERE LIKE MONKEYS IN A CAGE.
WE WERE LIKE, "AAH! AAH!"
- [laughs] - OH, MY GOSH!
SHE IS GONNA GET IT.
- I LIKE THAT ABOUT YOLANDA.
OKAY, SHE'S OUT FOR FUN.
- YOU GUYS, I HAVE AN IDEA.
WHAT IF NOBODY TALKS FOR ONE WHOLE MINUTE?
- OH, MY GOD THAT WOULD-- - CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT?
- OKAY, LET'S GO.
- LET'S SEE IF IT'S EVEN POSSIBLE.
- ONE, TWO, GO!
- OKAY, WHEN'S IT STOPPING?
- OF COURSE WE STOP.
- OKAY, SHH. ONE, TWO, GO.
- [giggles]
- NO, NO, LISA.
- [gasps]
- OH! [gasps]
AAH! - OH, MY GOD.
- I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT.
I KNEW IT. YOLANDA LOST IT FOR US.
- SHE RUINED MY LASHES!
- RUDE. - AAH!
OH, THAT'S COLD! WAIT, WAIT, HONEY.
WAIT. - AAH!
[screaming]
- AFTER LAST NIGHT, IT'S REALLY NICE
TO SEE THAT WE'RE ALL ABLE TO PUT IT ASIDE
AND HAVE SOME FUN TODAY.
- ALL RIGHT. - I THINK YOU GOT 'EM BACK.
NOW WE CAN RELAX. - AHH.
- PAYBACK'S A ***. - [laughs]
- TAKE A BASEBALL BAT AND BEAT SOMEBODY WITH IT.
- [laughs] - I KNOW YOU.
- GLOSS ON THE LIPS?
- NO, I DO THE LIGHTEST AS I POSSIBLY CAN.
- WHY? - TO TURN THE COLOR DOWN.
- GOOD EVENING, LADIES, I JUST WANTED
TO TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
MY NAME'S CHAD MINTON.
I'M THE EXECUTIVE CHEF HERE
AT THE BEAUTIFUL OJAI VALLEY INN AND SPA.
WE'RE ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED TO HAVE YOU ALL HERE
AT CASA ELAR THIS EVENING.
WE HAVE SOME FOOD THIS EVENING THAT'S VERY INDICATIVE
OF WHAT WE DO HERE IN OJAI.
UH, VERY MUCH FARM TO TABLE,
SIMPLE YET SOPHISTICATED.
SO WITH THAT BEING SAID, PLEASE EAT.
- YES! LET'S GO EAT. THANK YOU.
[overlapping dialogue]
- WOW.
- THIS IS OUR FREE-RANGE PETALUMA CHICKEN.
- LI, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOCK PEOPLE OVER.
IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
THEY DON'T HAVE LEGS.
IT'S NOT GOING TO RUN INTO THE PINK MOMENT.
- COME ON. CALM DOWN.
- THAT'S THE TRUFFLE MACARONI AND CHEESE.
ROASTED BABY BEETS, RAW BEETS, BEET VARIATIONS.
OJAI PIXIES, WHICH ARE UNIQUE TO OJAI.
- OKAY, SO YOU'LL CARRY THESE FOR US?
- IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE. - THANK YOU.
- OF COURSE. - WE CAN'T TAKE THAT OVER THERE.
- CHEF, COME.
[indistinct chatter]
- WHO WANTS TO SAY GRACE?
- I'M JUST PRAYING THAT ADRIENNE AND TAYLOR
JUST SHUT THE [bleep] UP.
[indistinct chatter]
- IN HONOR OF THE LAST NIGHT THAT YOU'RE STAYING
AT THE OJAI VALLEY INN AND SPA...
- THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. - WOW.
- I WOULD OFFER THE BOTTLE
OF THE 1996 NICOLAS FEUILLATTE.
AND, UH, AS A SIDENOTE, SINCE ALL OF YOU
ARE SO VERY FASHION CONSCIOUS AND BEAUTIFUL,
THIS BOTTLE WAS ACTUALLY DESIGNED BY GAULTIER.
- [gasps]
- SO NO WONDER YOU LIKE IT.
- OF COURSE. - IT LOOKS LIKE GAULTIER.
- OKAY.
[indistinct chatter]
- NO, I'M NOT DRINKING FOR THREE MONTHS.
- THREE NOW? IT WAS TWO EARLIER.
- NO, I'M ALREADY ONE DOWN. TWO MORE TO GO.
- SHE ADDED A MONTH ON. - [laughs]
SHE SAW US, SHE'S LIKE, "ONE MORE MONTH."
- WHEN I GAVE BIRTH TO MY SON,
I BROKE MY BACK AND I ALWAYS HAVE BACK PAIN.
AND THERE'S THIS HOLISTIC TREATMENT IN EUROPE
THAT CONSISTS OF INJECTIONS, BUT YOU CAN'T DRINK.
WHAT THEY DO IS THEY TAKE, UH, FRESH CELLS
FROM THE UNBORN FETUS OF THE BABY LAMB...
- [swallows]
- AND THEY INJECT IT INTO THE HUMAN BODY
BECAUSE IT'S CLOSEST TO OUR OWN CELLS.
- NOTHING IN BEVERLY HILLS SURPRISES ME.
IF YOU CAN INJECT IT IN YOUR BODY,
THEY'LL DO IT.
- DID ANYONE ELSE HAVE COMPLICATED BIRTHS?
- MM-MMM.
- LIKE BABIES? - MM-HMM.
- NO, NOTHING?
DID YOU DO C-SECTIONS OR NO? - I NEVER HAD ANY.
- SO YOU DID VAGINAL, YOU DID VAGINAL.
DID YOU DO VAGINAL? - "C."
- OH, BOTH TIMES.
- HE WAS ONLY 4 1/2 POUNDS.
- [gasps] - SO...YEAH.
I MEAN, IT WAS AT 38 WEEKS.
AND YOU CAN DO IT AT 38 WEEKS.
- AS LONG AS THEY'RE DEVELOPED.
- SMALL FOR GESTATIONAL AGE.
- RIGHT. - WHAT ABOUT THE TWINS?
YOU DIDN'T HAVE A C-SECTION WITH THE TWINS?
- I HAD A C-SECTION WITH THEM TOO.
[indistinct chatter]
- IT'S PRETTY ODD TO HAVE THAT CONVERSATION AT DINNER.
OOH, HOW DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T.
I DIDN'T HAVE THAT EXPERIENCE.
I DIDN'T CARRY MY CHILDREN.
I USED A SURROGATE, SO IT'S HARD TO TALK ABOUT THAT,
'CAUSE I CAN'T RELATE TO ANYBODY CARRYING A CHILD.
- THE WEIRD THING IS, YOU CAN SCHEDULE.
BECAUSE I WANTED PAUL THERE, BEING A SURGEON.
BUT I WENT INTO LABOR THE NIGHT BEFORE--
THE NIGHT BEFORE I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO IN.
IT WAS ALMOST TO A "T".
- AND DID YOU LET PAUL IN THE ROOM?
WAS HE GOING CRAZY THE WHOLE TIME?
- [sighs]
- IN THE ROOM, BUT ABOVE THE SHOULDERS.
NOT DOWN THERE. - WELL, I MEAN, BUT PAUL.
YOU KNOW HOW PAUL'S LIKE, "LISTEN.
YOU NEED TO DO IT THIS WAY. YOU NEED TO DO IT THAT WAY."
- AND HE DID. [laughs]
- WELL, WHAT ARE WE DOING TONIGHT?
BETTER-- - COME ON, KITTY-CATS.
- [laughs]
- "KITTY-CATS."
- CHEERS. - THERE'S A REASON YOU ASKED.
- JUST FUN. - CHEERS.
- [laughs]
[indistinct chatter]
- SHE WON'T DO ANYTHING I SAY, TRUST ME.
[indistinct chatter]
NO.
OH, TRUE, IT'S AN UNDERSTANDING.
AM I OKAY? AM I OKAY?
- [sighs] - I'M TIRED.
- DID YOU SAY--WHAT?
- I JUST WANNA-- I'D RATHER GO TO BED AND SLEEP.
BUT YOU GUYS CAN GO ON.
- NO, NO, NO.
- THAT'S THE WAY IT GOES, OKAY?
- OH, MY GOD! [laughs]
- I KNOW I LOOK LIKE A *** WAITRESS,
BUT I'M NOT. - [laughs]
- WHAT IS THAT? - I JUST DON'T DRINK.
- IT'S A LITTLE TINY BIT OF PATRON.
[laughter]
- CHEERS, KITTY-CATS. - AW.
- YOLANDA'S LIKE, "I THINK I'M GOING TO BED."
BUT I GET IT. WE'RE GETTING LOUD,
OBNOXIOUS, NOT MAKING SENSE, NOT BEING LADIES.
AND I DON'T BLAME HER FOR GOING TO BED.
I MEAN, SHE'S THE SOBER ONE IN THE ROOM.
AND IT'S NOT FUN TO BE SOBER.
[laughs]
- SEE YOU. BYE. GOOD NIGHT. BYE.
- BYE, DARLING. - SEE YOU. GOOD NIGHT.
OKAY, SEE YOU, BYE.
THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANNA DO IN MY TIME OFF.
I WANNA GET UP EARLY TOMORROW MORNING.
I WANNA GO FOR A RUN, EXERCISE,
AND, YOU KNOW, HAVE-- HAVE AN OJAI DAY.
- I'M GONNA WITH YOU, YOLANDA.
UM, THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING
AND HAVING A GREAT WEEKEND WITH ME.
- DARLING, ARE YOU GOING? - LOVE YOU ALL.
YOU GUYS HAVE FUN.
- YOU REST.
- YEAH, I'M GONNA GO REST.
AND THIS IS WHERE I CUT OUT.
IF I COULD STAY AND HAVE FUN WITH THE PARTY,
EH, I WOULD. BUT UH-OH.
KIM'S GOTTA GO. [laughs]
MWAH. - LOVE YOU.
- LOVE YOU. - GOOD NIGHT.
- I DON'T LOVE YOU, BUT I LIKE YOU.
- I DON'T LIKE YOU EITHER-- I MEAN, I DON'T LOVE YOU.
- OH! - FREUDIAN!
- NO, I DO LIKE YOU. - NO, NO.
I WANT YOU TO HAVE A GREAT NIGHT.
- I DO LOVE YOU. - I GET THAT.
- AWKWARD. [laughs]
- ALL RIGHT, GOOD NIGHT. - [laughs]
MM-KAY. WHOA. OKAY.
- COMING UP...
- AAH!
ANTSY ***!
- OH, THAT'S SCARING ME NOW.
- OH, I GOT YOU! - GIRLS, STOP IT.
STOP. - STOP, STOP, STOP.
- OF COURSE, PLEASE.
- NO, OF COURSE I WOULD, ADRIENNE.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT ROOM I'M GOING TO,
SO I'M GONNA FOLLOW YOU UP. - WE'RE GOING TO--
- OH, THIS IS THE FANCY PART OF THE HOUSE.
- SO YOLANDA AND KIM GO TO BED.
I WISH I HAD HAD THE WHEREWITHAL TO JOIN THEM,
FOR GOD'S SAKE. BUT I GO WITH THE GIRLS.
- THIS IS LOVELY. - HOLD ON, GUYS.
- [mock snoring] - AAH!
[smacks]
- THIS BUTT IS SO SMALL, IT'S LIKE--
- WAIT, HIT IT AGAIN.
- SHE'S THINNER THAN I'VE EVER BEEN
AND NO ONE EVER CALLS HER ANOREXIC.
- THAT'S NOT-- THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I'M ACTUALLY NOT.
YOU'RE--YOU'RE WAY SMALLER THAN ME.
- [laughs]
- YOU WANNA ARM-WRESTLE?
HOLY [bleep].
- SWEETHEART. - LET'S DO IT.
- [growls] - ARM-WRESTLE.
- IF SHE WANTS TO ARM-WRESTLE ME,
BRING IT ON.
- [laughs] - OKAY, ONE, TWO, THREE.
OH, MY GOD. - OKAY.
- TAYLOR! - AAH!
YOU BRAT! - [laughs]
- AAH, ANTSY ***!
ANTSY, ANTSY! - OH, MY GOD.
HEY, HEY!
[laughter]
- OH, THAT'S SCARING ME NOW.
- OH, I GOT YOU. - GIRLS, STOP IT.
STOP. - STOP, STOP, STOP.
- SAY GIVE! SAY GIVE!
- I GIVE! I GIVE! - STOP IT.
STOP. - OKAY, PERFECT.
- BRANDI WAS WINNING.
- YEAH, YOU ACTUALLY DID ME IN.
- I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THESE GIRLS.
- ARE YOU IN?
YOU WANNA ARM-WRESTLE?
- YOU SHOULD ARM-WRESTLE HER. - YOU'RE LIKE--
YOU'RE THE GUY.
- I THINK THERE'S MORE TO THIS ARM-WRESTLE
THAN MEETS THE EYE. [chuckles]
I THINK BRANDI WANTS TO REALLY...
[laughs]
REALLY GRIND HER INTO THE GROUND HERE.
- OKAY, READY? - ONE, TWO, THREE.
- OW! ADRIENNE'S WRIST--
[laughter]
- WELL, YOU'RE NOT GETTING ME DOWN.
- HERE, OKAY.
- I SAID, "OKAY, LET'S ARM-WRESTLE."
I GREW UP WITH ALL BROTHERS. IT SEEMED NATURAL.
[laughter]
- YOU--YOU CAN'T BEND YOUR WRIST, LIKE--
- I'M DOING IT THE WAY YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT.
- I DON'T THINK ADRIENNE UNDERSTANDS THE CONCEPT
OF A LOT OF THINGS.
BUT SHE KNEW WHAT SHE WAS DOING
WHEN SHE WENT--SHE'S LIKE, "NO, THAT'S HOW YOU CHEAT.
THAT'S HOW YOU CHEAT. THAT'S HOW YOU CHEAT."
SO MAYBE THAT'S HER MOTTO.
- GO. - WOMEN DON'T DO THIS.
- THERE'S NO ACTION HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.
- OW! AAH!
[laughs]
- AND I WIN! - WRONG!
- ALL I DO IS WIN, WIN, WIN! - WRONG!
[exclamations]
- NO, NO. YOU DIDN'T WIN.
[exclamations]
THAT DIDN'T COUNT. [laughter]
[cheering and laughter]
- [bleep] I CAN TEACH THAT.
- WE'VE ALL HAD WAY TOO MUCH TO DRINK.
AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, WE'RE BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL.
[laughter]
- DO YOU HAVE UNDERWEAR ON?
- I HAVE UNDERWEAR ON.
YOU NEED SOME FRESH UNDERWEAR.
- OH, MY GOD.
- ARE THEY REALLY FRESH?
- THEY'RE FRESH, I SMELLED THEM.
- WAIT, DO YOU NOT HAVE ANY OR--
[laughter]
- SHE'S CRAZY.
- COME ON, KYLE.
- GO. - AAH!
- OH, MY GOD. [laughter]
- IT WAS FUN. LIKE, WE LET OUR HAIR DOWN.
WE LET LOOSE. IT WAS FUN.
I MEAN, AND IF ANYONE WERE TO SAY
THAT IT WAS ANYTHING WORSE THAN THAT,
THEY'RE STUPID.
[cheering]
- OH, MY GOD. - HEY, NOW.
[laughter]
- SO MUCH FUN.
- YOU GO. I'LL PIN HER DOWN.
- I'LL HOLD HER DOWN. PIN HER DOWN.
- GO.
all: WHOO!
- YES! - WHOO!
[overlapping dialogue]
- ARMSTRONG ON THE BALANCE BEAM.
- [laughs]
- IT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY.
[laughter]
- PERFECT! THAT WAS WONDERFUL.
- ON THE BALANCE BEAM.
[cheering]
- UGH, MY HEAD FELL ON THE GROUND.
- I WAS SURPRISED TO SEE ADRIENNE, YOU KNOW,
TOOK HER WEAVE OUT AND DID SOME WORK.
- OH, MY GOD. WE HAVE-- - WAIT. HOLD ON.
HOLD ON. [shushes]
YOLANDA, YOU'RE MISSING ALL THE FUN.
[laughter]
- ARE WE FALLING OVER?
- YOLANDA! [pounding floor]
PUT DOWN YOUR TEA AND COOKIES AND GET UPSTAIRS!
- COME ON, GET YOUR LITTLE DUTCH *** UP HERE.
[laughs]
- I KNEW IT. [laughter]
- I'M THINKING, "YOLANDA'S GONNA COME UP
AND GIVE US ALL A LITTLE SPANKING."
- GYM CAT. - TAKE THE NECKLACE OFF.
[laughter]
[cheering]
- THAT WAS IT? - THAT WAS IT.
- YOU GUYS WERE HAVING SO MUCH LAST NIGHT, HUH?
- ACTUALLY IT WAS REALLY GOOD
FOR ALL OF US, I THINK.
THIS IS ACTUALLY A REALLY GOOD TIME.
I THINK THOSE OF US THAT WERE CLOSE GOT CLOSER.
AND THOSE OF US THAT WEREN'T--
- YEAH.
KIM AND I, WHEN WE SPEND A WEEKEND
LIKE WE HAVE IN OJAI,
AND WE DON'T END UP FIGHTING,
THAT'S A GOOD THING.
- ALL OF US HAD FUN.
WAS IT GOOD FOR KYLE AND I AS SISTERS TO RECONNECT?
I DON'T THINK SO.
- HI, HONEY. - OOH, GOOD MORNING.
- HOW ARE YOU? THAT WAS SO FUN LAST NIGHT.
- WASN'T IT? - LOOK AT HOW CUTE YOU ARE.
- I GOT MY LITTLE HOTEL SLIPPERS.
- DID YOU HEAR A THUMPING AND A LOT OF NOISE LAST NIGHT?
- OH, MY GOD.
- I WAS FEELING SO BAD FOR YOU.
I WAS EVEN SAYING, "YOLANDA, I'M SORRY."
- IT SOUNDED PRETTY CRAZY. - IT WAS CRAZY.
- BUT, YOU KNOW, ONCE THE ALCOHOL
START TAKING EFFECT, WE WERE LIKE--
[whistles]
- SEE YA. - OUT OF THERE, SEE YA.
- I KNOW. - YOU KNOW, NOT--
I DON'T WANNA SPEND MY NIGHTS LIKE THAT.
I WANT TO SLEEP AND REST UP... - ME TOO.
- TO GO HOME AND BE BACK WITH MY KIDS.
- IT WAS VERY FUNNY. AND THEN ADRIENNE WAS LIKE,
"I CAN DO BACKFLIPS."
AND THEN ADRIENNE STARTED.
- OH, MY GOD. HOW CUTE, WELL--
- AND THEN OF COURSE WE HAD TO START.
LISA AND I GO, "WAIT, I CAN DO A HANDSTAND."
- THAT'S FUNNY. - WE WERE LIKE A BUNCH OF...
- LITTLE KIDS. - TEN-YEAR-OLDS, YEAH.
- NO, I EXERCISED THIS MORNING.
I WAS UP AT 6:00, WORKED OUT IN THE ROOM.
- YOLANDA'S MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY
THAT I DIDN'T GET UP AND WORK OUT.
I MEAN, I'M ON A VACATION.
- YOU KNOW, TO ME, I DON'T THINK
THERE'S ANYTHING WORSE THAN DRUNK WOMEN, HONESTLY.
IT'S LIKE, I DON'T MIND PEOPLE HAVING A DRINK.
BUT THERE'S NOTHING MORE UN-CLASSY OF WOMEN THAN TO--
YOU KNOW, THAT ARE OUT OF CONTROL OF--
OF THEIR BEHAVIOR.
- SHE MAY WANNA FIND A NEW CROWD OF FRIENDS.
- ANYWAY...
- EVERYTHING GOOD? - EVERYTHING'S OKAY.
IT'S LIKE, I DON'T FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN ON VACATION.
- [laughs] I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN--
[whispers] SHAGGED.
- OH, SHAGGED THROUGH A HEDGE BACKWARDS, YEAH.
- CAMILLE, IS THIS YOURS OR MINE?
I CAN'T REMEMBER.
'CAUSE I KNOW WE HAVE ONE-- IS THIS MINE OR YOURS?
- OH, THAT'S YOURS.
- LAST NIGHT WAS SO-- YOLANDA HEARD EVERYTHING.
CAN YOU BELIEVE? - SHE DID?
- HER ROOM IS BENEATH OURS. - REALLY?
- SHE'S LIKE, "WHAT WAS ALL THAT RACKET?"
- YEAH, IT DID GET A LITTLE KOOKY LAST NIGHT.
- HI. HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?
- HELLO. - HI. HOW ARE YOU?
- HI.
- YEAH, I BET YOU RUN IN THAT JACKET.
- HI. - WELL, MY--
MY JEWELRY BAG WEIGHS A TON. JUST JOKING.
- THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN, EVERYBODY.
- YEAH. - WASN'T IT FUN?
- I AM SO PROUD OF KIM.
SHE PUT THIS MAGNIFICENT TRIP TOGETHER FOR US,
YOU KNOW, TO CELEBRATE HER SOBRIETY.
AND I HOPE SHE CAN KEEP IT GOING.
- OH, MY GOSH.
- RIGHT?
- COMING UP...
- I-I'M SORRY I JUMPED DOWN YOUR THROAT.
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
- I'M CALLING BULL[bleep] ON IT,
AND THEY WON'T.
- I LOVE AN ENGLISH ACCENT. EVERYBODY DOES.
- NO, THEY DON'T. - YES, THEY DO.
- OH, STOP IT. - I WANT TO TALK LIKE THIS.
- KYLE SEEMS TO THINK THAT
SHE CAN IMPERSONATE ME ALL THE TIME.
WHICH SHE CAN. I DON'T TAKE OFFENSE.
[nasally voice] BUT IF I DO ONE LITTLE THING--
IMPERSONATE ANYBODY IN THIS GROUP,
IT TURNS INTO A BIG DEAL.
- LET ME HEAR IT. - OKAY, THAT'S IT.
[in American accent] I'M DONE. I'VE LOST MY ACCENT.
I'M NOT GONNA SPEAK WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT ANYMORE.
[laughter]
OH, GOD. - OH, GOD.
- I'D LIKE TO JUST HEAR YOU SAY,
"I'M SO GLAD WE'RE HOME."
- OKAY. I'M SO GLAD WE'RE HOME.
- THAT WAS HER IMITATION OF YOU.
- RIGHT. - "I'M SO GLAD WE'RE HOME."
- OKAY. I'M SO GLAD WE'RE HOME.
AND--RIGHT? - YEAH.
- WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?
- "AND I'D LIKE YOU ALL TO HAVE A REALLY GOOD DAY."
- I REALLY WANNA HAVE A REALLY GOOD DAY.
[laughter]
RIGHT? [laughs]
- NO, I DID SAY THAT. - OKAY.
NOT TO BRING UP A TOUCHY SUBJECT,
BUT WHEN SHE SAID IT--
WHEN YOU SAID, "SHUT THE [bleep] UP" TO ADRIENNE--
- SOMEBODY'S CRYING.
UH-OH. - CALL IT OUT.
- "CALL IT OUT"? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- THAT MEANS SHUT THE [bleep] UP.
- I-I'M SORRY I JUMPED DOWN YOUR THROAT.
HOWEVER, I WAS LIKE, "AHH. THERE'S A NICE WAY TO SAY IT."
AND THEN YOU WERE, LIKE, YOU KNOW--
- I DID--I SAID "IT'S INAPPROPRIATE."
- OKAY. OKAY. - AND I KICKED YOUR LITTLE BUTT.
- I DID APOLOGIZE FOR SAYING "F".
REALLY, KYLE, YOU HAVE TO BRING THIS UP AGAIN,
NOW, WHEN WE'RE ALL GETTING ALONG?
- ALL I MEANT WAS, LIKE, THERE'S A WAY TO SAY IT.
YOU KNOW? I DON'T WANNA ARGUE.
WE BOTH HAVE VERY FEISTY PERSONALITIES.
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
MY INTENTIONS WEREN'T TO DRAW ATTENTION TO HER--
- BUT THAT'S WHAT IT SEEMED LIKE TO ME.
AND WE WERE LIKE-- SHE WAS CRYING AND
WE WERE HAVING A LOVELY CONVERSATION.
- MY INTENTIONS WERE TO WONDER HOW SHE WAS.
- I DON'T THINK IT WAS ON ANYBODY'S PART--
- YEAH, SO--
- LIKE, SHE SAID IT THREE OR FOUR TIMES.
AND THAT'S WHY-- - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
- YEAH, YOU DID. - I JUST SAID IT TWICE, I THINK.
AND WHETHER I SAID IT THREE OR FOUR TIMES,
IT WASN'T DONE INTENTIONALLY TO--
- IT WAS TO LET EVERYONE AT THE TABLE KNOW
THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING HAPPENING THAT YOU THOUGHT--
- NO, I THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS WRONG.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
- NO, NO, BUT YOU DIDN'T NEED TO LET THE WHOLE TABLE KNOW.
I JUST FELT LIKE-- - BUT WE ALWAYS KNOW EVERYTHING.
- I'M CALLING BULL[bleep] ON IT AND THEY WON'T.
THESE GIRLS, LIKE, IF YOU DON'T SAY IT TO THEIR FACE,
THEY'RE GONNA, LIKE, PRETEND IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
- I JUST-- THOSE WEREN'T MY INTENTIONS.
- AND SEE, THAT'S WHAT IT SEEMED LIKE TO ME.
- OKAY, BABE, BUT I'M TELLING YOU NOW
THOSE WEREN'T MY INTENTIONS. - OKAY.
- MY INTENTIONS WERE TO SEE HOW SHE'S FEELING.
PERIOD. I DON'T THINK THAT WAY.
- IT WAS UNNECESSARY TO HAVE THE WHOLE TABLE
THINK THAT I WAS ATTACKING KIM AND--
- NO, IT WASN'T ABOUT YOU ATTACKING KIM.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT YOU TWO WERE TALKING.
I JUST HEARD THAT SHE WAS CRYING.
I WAS JUST WONDERING WHAT THE PROBLEM WAS.
- OKAY, SO WE, UH--
- GOD, LET'S NOT MAKE A--
YOU KNOW, A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL, MY GOD.
I PERSONALLY FEEL THAT BRANDI IS JUST LOOKING FOR A FIGHT
AND LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO ARGUE WITH ME ABOUT.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.
- YOU KNOW, WHEN THERE'S A LOT OF BOTTLED UP EMOTIONS
AND SOMEBODY SAYS SOMETHING, IT TRIGGERS IT.
AND YOU GO, "HEY!"
- I THINK IT'S A CONVERSATION THAT HER AND I
NEED TO HAVE WITHOUT ALL OF YOU.
- ALL I KNEW WAS, YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS WERE FRIENDS.
I COULD TELL THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE,
BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT.
- IT'S NOT A GROUP CONVERSATION KIND OF THING.
- GOT IT.
- I DO FEEL LIKE IF ADRIENNE AND I DON'T
NIP THIS IN THE BUD RIGHT NOW,
IT'S GONNA GET UGLY.
- THAT'S LIFE. - I KNOW, OF COURSE, IT IS.
- WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT FEELINGS.
LET'S SIT AND HAVE A CONVERSATION
AND MAKE IT GO AWAY.
I WOULD DO THAT IN A HEARTBEAT.
I DON'T THINK SHE WILL.
- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS.
- HAVE YOU HAD DAYS WHERE YOU THOUGHT,
"I MIGHT RELAPSE"?
- I HAVE PEOPLE THAT MAKE ME FEEL
FRUSTRATED AND EMOTIONAL. - LIKE KYLE, RIGHT?
- [stammering] IS THIS PERSON AT THE TABLE?
- WHENEVER YOU SEE SOMEBODY YOU LOVE
GOING OFF INTO SURGERY, IT'S A WORRY,
BECAUSE I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM.
HEY, DARLING. FEEL OKAY?
DARLING?
[indistinct chatter]
- OH, THE SECRET MAN IS OUT AND ABOUT.
- WE JUST HEARD COMMENTS THAT THAT *** MADE,
SO I WANNA GET OUT OF HERE.
YOU ARE A ***.
- WHAT BRANDI IS SAYING IS CHARACTER ASSASSINATION.
- [bleep] YOU!
- YOU'RE A PIECE OF [bleep].
- TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE HOUSEWIVES,