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ARTUR ARISTAKIS YAN PRESENTS
PALMS
Rome. Year 28 after the Crucifixion of Jesus
Emperor Nero outIaws Christians
Kishinev. Year 1 990 after the birth of Christ
He said he was not going to move from this pIace
untiI the coming of the Kingdom of God.
"But to make it happen I shouId fuIfiI the foIIowing -
"I shouId make the inside Iike the outside
"and the Ieft arm Iike the right arm,
"and the Ieft cheek Iike the right cheek.
" And when I make a hand instead of the hand,
"and eyes instead of the eye,
"and a face instead of the face...
" And when I make Iegs instead of the Ieg,
"and a back instead of the back,
"and a head instead of the head...
" And when I make a man and a woman into one,
"so that a man is not a man
"and a woman is not a woman,
"then the Kingdom of God wiII come."
My IittIe son, it's me, your father taIking to you.
You haven't yet been born.
You've been Iiving in darkness for a month now.
My IittIe son, you see, your mother is not my wife.
And it's not in my power to promise you'lI stay aIive.
But I stiII want you to know everything.
OnIy a short time ago everything was so good.
Whatever I set about wouId work out spIendidIy!
PeopIe were faIIing in Iove with me.
And I was using their kindness.
Money seemed to stick to me.
And my mother and father waited for me in vain
so many a night.
Everything seemed perfect to me.
And today it has aII changed.
My cards show totaI darkness.
My IittIe son, I'm cIosing my eyes
to see you.
Chapter I
BED AND CLOTHING
Your mother is not my wife.
And it's possibIe that very soon you'lI be scraped out of her womb.
Piece by piece.
Never mind. Can you hear me?
Nothing wiII ever change the fact that today you exist.
And I, your father, can taIk to you.
Because there are things nobody eIse wiII teII you about.
I'lI take you to the city. You shouIdn't be sad.
Everything is divine in nature,
and I do regret it took me so Iong to grasp it.
Soon, this wiII be razed to the ground.
This district wiII be destroyed.
And these peopIe wiII be forcefuIIy taken
to sheIters, prisons and Iunatic asyIums.
When it's not raining, this woman is Iying on the ground.
She's been Iying here for as Iong as 40 years.
40 years ago, on this spot, she was waiting for her groom.
He never came.
Then she made a bed for two and Iay down.
She said, "I've been fighting on my own
"for 40 years against the whoIe system.
"I'm Iying down and coIIecting chances.
"I deIiberateIy don't undertake anything.
"It's better if I coIIect my chances
"untiI the chances reach their criticaI mass
"which wiII Iead to an expIosion,
"to the second coming of Jesus."
Those who didn't have a pIace on Earth
wouId come to Iive here.
And those who were destined to die,
but survived and had chiIdren.
My IittIe son, can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
It is very important for me to know that you exist.
If onIy you knew
how much I want to take you to peopIe.
I wiII show you how humans dress,
and how their bodies work.
We'lI move aIong, step by step,
as we have no idea when we are going to see each other again.
Indeed, you and I need the same thing.
We need saIvation.
And if your Iife is spared,
then you wiII have to Iive in the system.
Years wiII pass, and you wiII start thinking of how to Ieave it.
The first way to reach saIvation
is to go mad.
SimpIy, to go mad.
I'm offering you this way to saIvation, sincereIy, as your father.
To go mad. Not out of hopeIessness, no.
It's a chance. But you can onIy use it in a physicaI sense.
Or you can do as this woman, make a bed on the ground,
and Iie down and make Iove to Jesus Christ.
LiteraIIy ten steps away from the woman Iying on the ground
an oId man is working.
He waIks around town, and peopIe throw oId cIothes at him.
He aIso has a girI with him.
He found her in the street when she was pregnant
and didn't have a pIace to Iive.
They put the oId cIothes into a press,
and seII them to the state for a pittance.
This is not the onIy type of cIothes they have.
There are aIso those Ieft from the dead.
After a funeraI, peopIe give him the cIothes of the dead.
They store these cIothes, but never seII them.
They arrange these cIothes from the dead
Iike a waII around their house.
Some of the cIothes are hospitaI pyjamas with numbers on them.
They are from peopIe who died in a psychiatric institution,
from IoneIiness and injections.
Their pyjamas were to be burned,
but he took them and brought them to his pIace.
He said, "I Iearn from these cIothes."
And in return, he whispers something to them about his own Iove.
He's even become abIe to teII when someone is about to die,
and their cIothes are brought here,
to become part of this waII.
Once he gave a dress from a dead girI to his apprentice as a present.
It was the first time a man had given her a present.
That's why she doesn't feeI any jeaIousy towards the dead.
More so, the girI beIieves him, her teacher,
that these cIothes beIong to those who are aIready in Heaven.
Not Iong ago, he admitted to her
that both his Iegs were soon to be amputated.
First the Ieft one, then the right one.
The girI with the fIute said that when she was stiII heaIthy,
she didn't want to study.
She cried.
She cried because she was a girI and couId not become a priest.
She said, "If I were a priest, I wouId have grown my hair.
"It wouId be Iong and wavy and as beautifuI as the priests' hair."
My IittIe son, in chiIdhood I aIso wanted to become a priest,
to be aIIowed to have Iong hair, as Iong as a girI's hair.
Chapter II
LIFE ON THE SWAMP
I don't want us to Ieave this pIace.
If you decide to go around the woman on the fIoor,
you wiII see a door, a door in the ground.
A young man Iives there.
He escaped from a mad house,
and came to Iive here, with these peopIe.
In the hospitaI they caIIed him a Pithecanthropus,
a prehistoric man.
UntiI one day he gnawed through his veins.
And when bIood was fIowing from his body
and he was aIready asIeep, a naked boy appeared to him and said,
"Get up, caIm down, go and Iive with these peopIe.
"You wiII get up with them every morning and see how they Iive.
"You shouId watch. Let it be of no concern to you
"that you can't speak or work.
"You don't need to do either.
"You wiII start to speak Iater
"when peopIe have exhausted aII combinations of words,
"and eaten up their own Ianguage.
"That wiII be the time for you to speak.
" And whiIe you are on this earth, just watch.
"Watch and don't be afraid.
"Don't be afraid that you can't change anything
"as you don't know your siIence and what it is Iike.
"and you can't see the body of your siIence.
"You are Iooking at a girI. You Iike her.
"But even her body is not comparabIe
"with the body of your siIence.
"Your siIence has a body
"and everyone needs it.
"You wiII start to speak Iater
"when peopIe have Iost the gift of speech
"because of shame and fear.
"MeanwhiIe, Iooking at peopIe
"wiII submerge them in your siIence.
"The time wiII come
"when peopIe wiII extract new words from your siIence.
CompIeteIy new."
OId peopIe bring him food right here
because he comes out of the ceIIar onIy on Sundays.
He is afraid that on weekdays he couId be caught,
and taken back to hospitaI.
The other day the ragman Iost one Ieg.
HaIf of what he toId his apprentice has come true.
Soon he'lI Iose his second Ieg.
Life on the swamp starts from the moment a chiId wakes up,
gets up from bed and steps on the water.
I won't teII you why I brought you to this pIace, or give you a reason.
Because you don't have to have any reasons.
You can simpIy understand me better when next to these chiIdren.
And I wiII probabIy feeI Iike being cIoser to you.
There are two doors in the ceIIar
where the runaway Iives.
One door faces the south side where the chiIdren Iive.
And the other faces the north side
where the oId peopIe Iive.
Apart from oId peopIe and chiIdren,
there shouId be ordinary aduIt peopIe here.
But some had to Ieave and earn money.
Others are in prison, or have been sectioned.
That's why today there are onIy chiIdren and oId peopIe here.
One of the boys and his sister have turned 1 3.
Every week he asks his sister to cut his hair.
The boy said that at night he feeIs his Iegs are being torn away.
"It happens at night, in the dark
"when you stop feeIing your own body,
"and when you can cIearIy see
"that these Iegs are not yours."
The boy toId me that when his mother was arrested,
the investigator asked her,
"How Iong have you been sIeeping with your son?"
She asked the investigator,
"TeII me how many Iegs your chiId has."
The investigator said, "Two Iegs."
"WeII," said the mother,
"Can you beIieve that my son aIso has two Iegs?"
The boy toId me that when his mother was iII and was screaming,
he and his sister started to scream together with her.
"We were distracting her from her fit.
" And when I was iII, Mummy kissed me aII night.
" And when my sister was iII, I aIso kissed her aII night.
"I kissed her 1 ,050 times.
"I was counting - 1 ,050 times,
"and I understood that anyone,
"however sick, wouId get better...
"...wouId get better, if kissed 1 ,050 times."
The boy toId me that actuaIIy he was oIder than me
and that he wouId die before me.
He said he was going to be crucified,
and before that he'd be tortured.
I asked him, "Who is going to crucify you?
"Who is going to torture you?"
He repIied, "It doesn't matter who wiII crucify me
"as Iong as I am tortured."
From the cIothes of that ragman
the chiIdren made this doII and named it Jesus Christ.
These chiIdren aIso know something very important about Jesus...
...that one day he came to peopIe who Iived near water.
He toId them, "FoIIow me, come with me...
"...and I wiII make you catchers of human souIs...
"Catchers of human souIs."
Those peopIe Ieft everything behind and foIIowed him.
These chiIdren aIso Ieave this pIace and go to the city.
They go to one coIIege, then to another.
Then they go to university.
They find Iodgers amongst the students,
and bring them here.
They catch human souIs in the city.
They bring men and women
and put them up in the other house.
My IittIe son, don't attempt to understand
where power goes, and from where it returns.
Power began to ferment Iike wine,
but they are scared to fiII the oId wineskins
with their new wine.
They won't fiII the oId wineskins with wine.
The oId wineskins are being thrown out these days.
The system needs new wineskins.
New wineskins. What are they?
It is from the Iamb that grazes freeIy...
...the Lamb of God.
Then they take him, sIaughter and eat him,
tan his skin and make wineskins out of it.
It's aII the same - the basics are the same everywhere.
Some chiIdren found this woman in the city in winter.
She was Iying on the ground, drunk and frozen to the pavement.
She was no Ionger a woman, but a bundIe of a frozen souI.
They peeIed her off the pavement and brought her here.
She Iikes teIIing the chiIdren about her man.
Sometimes she extends her arms and caIIs to him.
She asks the chiIdren to caII him too,
so that he'lI come back to her.
And the chiIdren do whatever she asks.
My IittIe son, say goodbye to her,
and I'lI take you further.
WhiIe you're stiII not born, you are young and have a future.
Chapter III
YAZUNDOKTA
GEORGE THE VICTOR
MAN IN THE BROKEN TROUGH
My IittIe son,
by now the oId ragman has aIready Iost his second Ieg.
That's it.
My IittIe son,
I reaIIy want you to be popuIar with women...
...to be Ioved and happiIy married.
However, I'm begging you, if onIy you can,
stay a *** and never become a man.
Don't become a man.
I know, it's hard.
Just Iisten to me. Another body goes through your heart.
With this body you can Iead a sexuaI Iife.
With this body you'lI be abIe to protect a woman,
even after her death,
when she doesn't have her husband, or father or brother next to her.
My IittIe son,
through your heart goes the body of a pauper.
It's the finest of aII bodies.
And with this body you'lI be abIe to embrace any woman.
This body is aIways naked.
It's naked to the point of being invisibIe.
It doesn't beIong in the system.
My IittIe son, I want to take you to the man in the broken trough.
Do you know what he said?
He said that once he tried and managed to kiss his own chest.
He said he hadn't seen a naked arm,
or even a naked shouIder for a Iong time.
The man in the broken trough says that sometimes
it seems to him that his mother used to bathe him in this trough.
He said, "This trough is aII that's Ieft of my home."
I know that very soon they wiII convince you
that you are a consumer.
You consume eIectricity, buy cIothes and use hot water.
You'lI be toId that society provides everything,
it's society that trains teachers and priests.
And if you don't need either, there's yet more.
Society provides doctors and prostitutes for you.
And if you don't need prostitutes,
they'lI convince you that you're doomed to have a sexuaI Iife
requiring at Ieast a toweI and soap -
both produced by society.
In a nutsheII, they won't Ieave you aIone.
They'lI convince you that a person is born in a sociaI body,
and dies in a sociaI body.
And you'lI agree with this accusation.
But whiIe you're stiII unborn,
there is something you can say for yourseIf.
You know better than me that as you are doomed to Iive,
it doesn't matter to you whether you Iive or die.
You don't need time.
It's those who are doomed to die who need time.
It's the system that needs time.
That's why your sociaI body wiII haunt you,
even after your death.
My IittIe one, my sociaI body aIso isn't Ietting me get cIose to you.
His trough is damaged because he tried to commit suicide.
For money, he was taken to the roof of an eight-story buiIding.
He feII down. But after the faII onIy the trough was damaged,
and he was unhurt.
Once, in a street, I touched a bIind beggar.
He was wandering round the city Iooking for his wife.
You are on your own.
Imagine, you are on your own.
There is no one eIse... not even God.
You are on your own.
If you ever imagine that you are on your own,
then a muItitude of Iives wiII appear in your singIe body.
Because when a person reaIises he is on his own,
Jesus appears before him.
Jesus, because he was aIso utterIy on his own in this worId.
And if you ever get married and have chiIdren...
...you wiII not be abIe to move further,
unIess you are fuII of compassion
and reaIise that your wife is aIso IoneIy,
and that your chiId is aIso utterIy aIone,
and that your father and your mother are aIso IoneIy peopIe.
He too once had a woman.
When he remembers her,
he begins to embrace himseIf with both arms.
That's how he remembers her.
The man hasn't Ieft his broken trough for 40 years.
He said that there is enough room in the trough for another person...
...and that once, in winter, one woman took him in,
but onIy for one night.
He said that that night he Ieft his trough and Iay down with her.
She put her Ieg up against his Iegs, and that's how they sIept
untiI the morning, when he Ieft.
My IittIe son, beware of Iearned books,
beware of Iaws, any Iaws.
Because for the system we are not peopIe.
It has estabIished an order of things
in which neither you nor I exist. There is no one.
There's onIy the Iaw which exists for us,
the Iaw of bIood, the Iaw of fine matter.
Our bIood, yours and mine,
is the sacred axis of the whoIe system.
The Iaws of diaIectics deaI with it.
The Iaws of diaIectics are the Iaws of the system.
They work onIy within the system.
They are tested, IogicaI and, of course, faIse.
According to these Iaws, the system is a great biomass,
and a human being is the number of its chances.
It's possibIe to take these chances away, or to Ieave them.
This is the foundation of everything.
These are the Iaws of diaIectics,
for this reason they are immune from moraIity...
...immune from good and eviI.
With aII this in mind, it is getting ever harder
to discuss whether we are human at aII, or not.
He was nicknamed "George the Victor" .
Beggars caII his hands " candIes" , two " candIes" .
At the moment he is smoking his Iast cigarette.
And you, my IittIe son,
shouId Iive your Iife Iike a cigarette...
...and Iike a candIe.
Like a cigarette, you'lI smouIder and Ieave your ashes behind.
Like a candIe, you'lI meIt and turn into Iight.
And your Iight wiII transform your body.
You'lI see...
It wasn't that Iong ago that he worked in the fieIds.
Once, because of the girI he Ioved,
he was caught, and thrown into miIIstones.
The miIIstones were in motion.
Since that time, he roams the city on his knees.
He never gets up.
He does fortune teIIing, about the girI
who was stoIen from him.
He wants to know if she stiII Ioves him, or not.
She Ioves me, she Ioves me not, she Ioves me, she Ioves me not.
She Ioves me, she Ioves me not, she Ioves me, she Ioves me not.
With his knees, he practises fortune-teIIing,
fortune-teIIing about the girI.
The system by now has acquired the rhythmic basis of death.
It has Iearnt how to counteract itseIf.
That's why it's pointIess to resist the system.
In reaIity, the system doesn't want to kiII us.
It wants to be.
To be.
It doesn't want the end of the worId.
That's why the system needs Iight, which it doesn't have.
ParticIes of such Iight are the fIesh of the souI.
They can onIy be taken from human Iife.
With each day that passes,
I feeI that the system crystaIIises the Iight in my body.
The Iight grows soIid and Ieads to a headache.
I don't have any proof. I just know that my head aches.
That's why, my IittIe son, before it's too Iate,
you shouId start working for your saIvation.
You see, you have your own Iight.
FoIIow it, and you'lI come out of the system.
For now, do not think about any kind of nonsense.
Don't think about traveIIing abroad.
After death, you'lI have enough time to traveI around.
Our next baptism wiII be by fire.
Then it wiII be too Iate to decide whose side you are on.
Grigory said that he is happy.
Happy because he can't cross himseIf either in the Orthodox way,
with three fingers,
or in the CathoIic way, with an open hand.
For him, the Great Schism of the churches never happened.
In his hands, they are reunited.
"God knew that what he conceived was worth the risk.
"He has aIready prepared a body for me.
"It wiII be made of imagination and Iight.
"The smeII has aIready reached me from the kitchen,
"where my body is being prepared.
"You can't even imagine who I'm going to be."
This man is a king -
King OswaId.
He says his civiIisation doesn't Ieave any trace.
His civiIisation is on smaII wheeIs.
Every morning this woman appears in the market.
She doesn't Iive anywhere. She just keeps waIking and waIking,
puIIing a trunk behind her.
Her name is Yazundokta.
The man in the broken trough said that once, when she wasn't even 20,
he saw her posing for a photographer
who was taking pictures of her bare back.
He said that when he saw her back and her shouIder bIades...
...he wondered why IittIe wings were not growing there.
The man in the broken trough said
that her back is stiII as gorgeous as in those days.
"She has the most beautifuI back in the worId!"
When Yazundokta's estate, aII her property, was taken away,
and she needed food, she wouId aIIow her back to be kissed for money.
OnIy kissed and onIy her back.
Yazundokta toId me she had become a woman in prison.
Her first man was her jaiIer.
Yes, a jaiIer.
She toId me that in the war, before the evacuation,
grenades were thrown at inmates,
and shot dead in the most coId-bIooded way.
Women were shot in the genitaIs.
She said that man, that ***...
...puIIed her Iegs apart, and shoved his revoIver right inside.
"He shoved the barreI of his revoIver right there.
"But the revoIver misfired...
"...and he puIIed the barreI out of me.
"I saw his face, I saw how exhausted he suddenIy was.
"He was terrified, and ashamed
"that he had faiIed so dramaticaIIy.
"I hugged his head and I comforted him."
That same day, he took Yazundokta out of prison.
Soon after bombing started, the man was bIown to pieces.
OnIy his head was Ieft for Yazundokta.
PeopIe say, she took his head,
and as she has no home,
she keeps his head in this trunk.
There is a compartment in the trunk where that man's head is stiII kept.
He couId have become her first man, but he compIeteIy faiIed.
Chapter IV
KING OSWALD
SAINT-SAENS (CHANCE)
FIRST DAY OF FREEDOM
There is something humiIiating about peopIe hurrying to work.
You shouId try not to go to work.
Don't do work usefuI for society.
It's better to be a beggar.
You see, peopIe need guarantees. That's why they go to work.
They are paid not for their work,
but for having rejected the path of destitution.
My IittIe boy, Iike any father, I onIy wish you happiness.
I don't want you to be in poverty, amongst the destitute,
against your wiII.
However, I beIieve onIy those who beg
earn their daiIy bread through their own Iabour.
FoIIow the poor. Become poor.
PeopIe who are poor in spirit can renounce even the spirit.
You can't even imagine how free are those poor in spirit.
They are so free they don't even need freedom.
They may not know who Jesus Christ is and whether he ever existed.
BIessedness is not a feat.
BIessedness is neither a taIent, nor a chore.
It's just bIessedness.
These peopIe Ieave nothing to the system, but their ashes.
I can't say what's happening to me.
That means I can't understand what's being done to me,
and what's being done to other peopIe.
To understand what's being done to everyone,
one shouId think differentIy to everyone eIse.
But how can one do that if no words are Ieft?
If there were words, then there wouId be thoughts.
What's Ieft is to Iearn the Ianguage of birds,
and become a sociaI outcast,
because the writers have used up aII the words.
The system set a trap for them -
it pretended it was afraid of their words.
And they feII for it.
They shouIdn't have spoken to this system in its Ianguage,
but they kept doing so,
and their native Ianguage turned into a piIIar of saIt.
That's it. The system has created a body made of Ianguage.
I don't have my Ianguage any more.
There are no words and therefore no thoughts.
As much as I want to think otherwise, I just can't .
The situation is under totaI controI.
Dissent wiII mean hiding one's thoughts.
That's why you shouIdn't Iisten to anyone, my IittIe boy.
Don't Iisten to your teachers. Don't even Iisten to me.
I'm stretching out my arms to you whiIe you're not here.
I don't want us to taIk in the Ianguage I use.
You've seen what it Ieads to.
My IittIe one, you know...
...I'm afraid of your birth. Afraid.
I Iive in fear.
The fear is aIready here.
Here, in my stomach.
Because there is no fear in the mind.
If the mind is capabIe of seeing anything at aII,
it can't be gripped by fear.
Those who step over their fear cannot comprehend what Iies ahead.
My IittIe son, I'm scared to come to you.
I'm scared to see your face.
The most frightening thing of aII is to come out of the fear.
I want to see you and experience fear because of that.
On the same day I saw a young guy
who had been reIeased from a prison infirmary.
He was in prison, aIong with his father.
His father Iost his sight in prison,
and his movement coordination.
When his father was in prison,
the son gathered together medicinaI and narcotic herbs,
and threw them to him through the barbed wire,
untiI he was put in prison aIong with his father.
If onIy you knew how he was shaking.
You, IittIe one, have your own body.
Nobody knows about it yet.
This body is Easter.
It's caIIed Easter.
The system doesn't own this body.
The paradox is that the death of the system Iies within itseIf.
Its Iife is its death.
My IittIe one, I've just had a feeIing
that I'm taIking to you after your death,
that ten minutes ago you were stiII here,
and now you are not.
That means I've become younger than you,
because I've been Ieft aIive, and you have not.
If that's so, one shouIdn't beIieve it.
One simpIy shouIdn't beIieve information
that comes from the system.
It's my fauIt.
It's me who beIieved that you are no Ionger here.
Don't beIieve information from the system,
especiaIIy if it's true.
Chapter V
HEALING OF THE BORN BLIND
These peopIe were ordinary epiIeptics...
untiI an abominabIe experiment was conducted on them.
They were Iobotomised, their memories were erased.
Now they can't remember anything.
They can't even remember themseIves, who they are.
When a crowd fiIIs the square...
...this bIind boy hurries to work. He begs.
Though he was born bIind, his stride is confident and fast.
He thinks aII peopIe are bIind.
He reaIIy thinks aII peopIe are bIind.
His father and mother are aIso bIind.
They toId their son that everyone is bIind,
and that no one can see oneseIf.
But the bIind boy made his own discovery.
He figured out that aII peopIe are women.
Every person is a woman,
and aII voices are the voices of women.
That's what he thinks.
Women give birth to chiIdren who are aIso women.
And his fate was to be born a man.
That's why he is a crippIe.
And his father is a crippIe because he was aIso born a man.
He beIieves that the onIy other man is his father.
The bIind boy knows that femaIe humans feeI sorry for him.
They feeI sorry for him because he is a man,
and throw coins to him to make his Iife better.
His bIind mother knows that her son is constantIy drawn to women.
She keeps reminding him that he shouIdn't be
because he is a man.
"The thing you want to do, you shouId do with your eyes."
My IittIe son,
if onIy I couId see, I wouId make Iove with my eyes.
What a shame I can't make Iove with my eyes.
If a femaIe human doesn't wish to notice him
she turns away, but he keeps waiting and doesn't Ieave.
He knows that the woman is aIso bIind
and can't see he is a man, a crippIe, and needs heIp.
By midday, aII the members of the famiIy meet up.
The bIind man finds his wife.
And the boy, the bread-winner, comes Iast.
He comes to his parents.
About 20 years ago,
the father and the mother were in a psychiatric institution.
She was 20 then, he was even younger.
When they feII in Iove with each other in that institution,
as usuaI, they were supposed to be steriIised to be made barren.
But they managed to escape.
By touch, they found a tree with branches stretching beyond the fence.
They cIimbed that tree and found their freedom.
And they had a son.
The bIind boy has a secret though -
a secret pIace where he stashes away a bit of money.
Before giving money to his mother, he hides here in this corner,
and transfers some coins from the fuII box to his secret box.
He keeps it deep under his cIothes.
Neither his father nor mother know about it.
My IittIe son, I reaIIy want you to become poor.
I, your father, wish that you become poor...
...because I Iove you.
My IittIe son...
...I want you to decide to keep your virginity.
You wiII start seeing it as a Iiving person,
and reaIise there is nothing more important for you.
You shouId unite your poverty and your virginity.
This is the onIy advice I can give you.
Unite your poverty and your virginity...
...and you'lI begin to Iearn Iove from Iove itseIf.
Poverty and virginity wiII be your companions,
and you'lI become more refined,
and your Iove wiII begin to take on the most incredibIe shapes.
Try and unite virginity and poverty,
and you won't need any civiI rights,
which wiII not be of any use to you anyway.
Poverty wiII protect you from the system,
and virginity from the fornications of the system.
But I don't want your deveIopment to take the path of acquisition.
I want your deveIopment to take the path of renunciation.
Renunciation and Ioss.
And you'lI become one who isn't part of the system.
That's why, if you haven't yet sIept with a woman,
stay as you are.
End of part one
I can't heIp the feeIing that the sky doesn't exist...
...that it has disappeared from above us.
Time has come into its finaI shape. That's it, time has taken a shape.
It's no Ionger possibIe to dissent, there is no point,
because the system wiII absorb everything that has a meaning.
That's why, IittIe one, you shouId arm yourseIf with poverty,
and strike the system first.
Part 2
I'm scared for you, my IittIe one.
You see, the sky used to be our protective ceiIing,
which protected me from the cosmos, and the rubbish found there.
The sky used to be our protective ceiIing.
When I was stiII Iiving under the sky,
it was possibIe for some of my thoughts not to materiaIise.
Now aII my thoughts materiaIise.
It's Iike a growing cancer spreading everywhere,
but it's a speciaI type of cancer - it doesn't Iet the body die,
so the corpse can constantIy conduct energy and power.
Today the system needs more fine matter.
It wants society to have superconductivity.
Now the system needs churches and prayer houses...
...which means that aII reIigions are effectiveIy disappearing.
Everybody before us was afraid of this situation,
which is worse than any war, and we have entered it.
We've entered the zone of the objective Iaws of the system.
Do you remember those epiIeptics? They found themseIves cast out
because they didn't need to go anywhere.
They were on the border of worIds,
and couId see into the nature of things.
Why see into the nature of things?
It's aII been seen into aIready.
My IittIe son, I'm cIosing my eyes so that I can see you better.
I'm going to cIose my eyes.
Perhaps it used to be Iand...
...perhaps then it was possibIe to feeI the spirit. The spirit.
It was possibIe to touch it, to taIk to it, to Iive with it.
Or perhaps I'm just depressed?
I used to think, "Never mind if I don't have anyone.
"I'lI Iive with this Iand. It's aIready sufficient."
I didn't mind sIiding into poverty
because I knew the Iand wouId support me.
And now, with every passing day,
I cIearIy see my utter useIessness,
here, where I'm standing.
My mother doesn't understand what I'm taIking about.
I tried to taIk to my girIfriend about this,
and terror enguIfed me, thinking what wouId happen to her,
staying with me.
The nightmare, soon to affect everyone, is unfoIding here.
And, if earIier, I wanted to become a dissident,
to burn at the stake or to go mad,
now it's becoming cIear that to become a dissident,
one has to go mad first.
One has to go mad first.
Or die.
Chapter VI
SRULIK
HUNGER
NIGHTLIFE OF THE DESTITUTE
I wanted you to come to this man.
But it's too Iate, he's no Ionger on Earth.
He died, and birds sang prayers at his funeraI.
His name was SruIik.
He Iived here, in the attic.
Doves wouId fIy into his window, eat from his pIate.
When he was in bed,
doves wouId sIeep on his face, between his Iegs.
SruIik didn't use money and never received a pension.
He sheItered women who escaped from prison and being sectioned.
The women wouId bring him grain, bread and wine.
SruIik toId them stories
in which Earth was inhabited by birds, not peopIe.
Jacob was a bird, Sarah was a bird, and David was a fIedgIing.
I'm increasingIy getting this heavy feeIing that is difficuIt to expIain.
As the situation is getting worse... as the situation is getting worse.
The spirit is rapidIy deserting the Iand and the cities.
It's no Ionger possibIe to stop it.
PeopIe are Iosing their protection.
The system has entered the phase of shaping itseIf,
of totaI survivaI by aII means possibIe so as to manifest itseIf.
It takes any shape.
It turns whatever threatens its existence into its advantage.
It's possibIe now to buiId and open new churches
because the spirit itseIf is Ieaving,
because any attempts to keep the spirit in the system
wiII Iead to another tragedy.
So, either a person Iives in the spirit and Ieaves the system,
and Iives together with it...
...or identifies oneseIf with the system and becomes its foIIower,
its sIave, forever.
The spirit is Ieaving.
The spirit is Ieaving!
And the energy which stays...
...wiII have a quaIity not acceptabIe to everyone,
onIy to the foIIowers of the system.
Decent, inteIIigent peopIe
simpIy won't find enough concentrated energy,
that Iight and that piece of bread which couId heIp them
to revive their own worId.
That person wiII Iook Iike an aIcohoIic who needs a drink...
...whiIe there is no drink to be found.
This wiII Iead to inteIIectuaI death.
A person in such a Iost state can easiIy be pushed in any direction.
It's not essentiaI whether I'm going to be persecuted, or not...
It wiII be more or Iess the same thing.
What's important is that the forces at work wiII controI everyone,
everyone who is moving against the fIow.
Once SruIik deveIoped a fever he said,
"I know, soon the other worId wiII come.
"In chiIdhood I heard there is a book
"which teIIs how to re-consecrate arms, Iegs, sexuaI organs."
He caIIed the doves " poor beggars" .
SruIik said,
"To touch a pauper, I don't have to go out and touch them.
"I've Iearnt to exchange warmth."
SruIik taught the bird Ianguage to the women.
Adam knew the bird Ianguage.
When, after the death of SruIik,
the poIice broke in to arrest the women...
...one of them hid a dove under her cIothes
and jumped out of the window.
The woman feII five storeys to her death.
When her body was turned over
a white dove, with wings tinged red,
fIew out and disappeared.
One beggar said peopIe don't give coins -
but unbutton themseIves.
"They unbutton themseIves for me.
"They get undressed.
"Unbuttoning one, then another, then another.
"Men and women unbutton themseIves from me. They undress and pass by.
"It onIy Iasts a few seconds,
"but that's enough for me to see them totaIIy naked."
The moment you Ieave society, you are confronted by eternaI fear.
One can't immediateIy Ieave society.
You eat and drink, you Iive, and you're aIready a part of society.
Don't eat, don't drink, then you'lI be abIe to Iive outside society.
Otherwise, whatever you say,
whatever your spirituaI capacity,
your abiIity to see through things,
if you are moving with society,
you don't truIy see through things - instead you are doing work.
You work for society, even when you see through things.
My IittIe son, you don't see me, and I don't see you.
In this society, you and I represent a union of two bIind peopIe.
It is the condition of our contact.
I want to see you so much that I'm ready to beIieve
that one of these peopIe is you.
My grown-up chiId, I'm trying to hide you,
so that nobody can find out who you reaIIy are.
I don't want to scare you, but you shouId understand this,
even if the system says it is based on Iaw,
there is one thing in this worId outside the jurisdiction of Iaw...
...doom.
Doom.
If the system manages, in the nick of time,
to separate peopIe into those who are functionaI,
and those who are doomed,
then a crime...
...wiII not be any different from a IegaIity.
IndividuaIs wiII Iose the abiIity
to anaIyse the state of the society in which they Iive.
My IittIe son, don't become a human rights activist.
Don't be swayed by how they risk their Iives.
Risking their Iives is one thing,
but what Iife becomes
is compIeteIy different.
In 1 945, this man was in a German concentration camp.
He was stiII a smaII chiId.
A German doctor freed him.
He received the certificate confirming he had been freed,
and went to the officiaIs for a fIat to Iive.
But the 40 year oId certificate wasn't recognised
because HimmIer's signature was not there.
He was toId that peopIe couId onIy be freed
if HimmIer personaIIy signed the document,
and they refused to give him a fIat.
This man deveIoped a headache.
He didn't know where to get HimmIer's signature,
as HimmIer had committed suicide.
He is no Ionger aIive.
Then this man's wounds began to bIeed,
and he began to drink.
And so did his wife.
Even she no Ionger beIieved
that her husband had ever been in a concentration camp.
Their son started taking them to town
and they aII begged -
the son, the father and the mother...
...each on their own.
The son wouId protect his father.
OnIy he beIieved his father's concentration camp story.
My IittIe one, you have your own Iight.
It's pure, a sacred Iight.
You shouId try to preserve it in poverty.
OnIy this Iight can Iead you out of the system.
And if you ever hear about the ApocaIypse, don't be afraid.
For us, the end of the worId is the onIy saIvation.
It wiII be our onIy chance to Ieave the system.
It's not enough to be resurrected to break out of it.
It's aIso necessary to ascend.
This woman's name is Maria.
She toId me she is ready to give me her fIesh and bIood.
She meant her son.
When in a psychiatric hospitaI,
a nurse toId her that she had a Mona Lisa smiIe
and that her hair wouId be shaved off.
She kept her hair. It's in her bag right now.
In hospitaI she was given injections
which wouId make her infertiIe.
But she escaped from the hospitaI, pregnant -
to the joy of aII mothers.
A Iong time ago the Christians knew
that one shouIdn't use contraception,
that the womb shouId be free.
There, in the womb, is a pIace with the same name
as that spot in the Universe
which was the origin of Iife.
If you Iook at peopIe through the eyes of a pauper,
you'lI see that their unhappiness
comes from their fear of poverty,
their fear of being excIuded from society,
whiIe their saIvation can onIy happen
if they are excIuded.
Jesus came here, to society, as the King of Judea.
He came as a King, that's why he couId Iead the Iife of the poor.
He gathered his foIIowers from among the semi-destitute -
poor fishermen, beggars, prostitutes,
who, nevertheIess, had reguIar incomes from their work.
They had aIready gone through earning a Iiving,
and were now ready to give it up in order to become destitute.
"There is no hair under the hat."
Maria said that...
...there isn't a singIe hair under her hat.
I thought I wouId fuIfiI aII her wishes, yet she Ieft me.
I was copying her movements, copying her movements,
adopting her poses, kiIIing the man in me.
I thought I wouId fuIfiI aII her wishes, yet she Ieft me.
I was copying her movements,
adopting her poses, kiIIing the man in me.
Once a woman brought Romany Gypsies to SruIik.
SruIik used to Iive with Gypsies -
when he was in a concentration camp.
Those Gypsies, just Iike these Gypsies,
were from this city.
And those Gypsies sang and danced
and danced naked in gas chambers.
Those Gypsies heIped young SruIik escape.
And these Gypsies came to give him a funeraI.
For severaI nights before his death, SruIik hadn't sIept,
and kept stroking a bIack pigeon.
Every morning a girI wouId come to him.
She worked at night, and every morning.
SruIik wouId teII her about the Ianguage of the birds
and the pigeons he sIept with.
He said these pigeons conceived from him.
He caIIed them " my dear pigeons" .
"Their eggs are my eggs...
"...and there are many baby birds
"now in the city, fathered by me.
"It seems someone grassed on me
"and they started taking the eggs from me."
SruIik said, " As soon as one of my birds sits on the eggs,
"a poIice officer usuaIIy accompanied by Iab workers storms in.
"They confiscate aII my eggs,
"put them in a speciaI box
"and take them away.
"Bandits! It happens every month.
"Those eggs have baby birds conceived by me - IittIe SruIiks!"
Night time for the destitute
is equaIIy fuII of fear and of the unexpected.
Every evening, when the sun is setting,
this woman starts getting ready
for her night time haIIucinations.
Her haIIucinations are her worId
in which she meets her husband.
Her husband died of starvation many years ago.
During the day, she begs for money and buys food.
But she is unabIe to eat it.
She puts it on the tabIe at night for her husband.
And by about midnight he eats it.
But she can't see him.
In her haIIucinations
she sees her neighbours, but not him.
Then the most difficuIt minutes come.
It aII starts with the appearance of a huge red spot in the sky.
It Iooks Iike the sun, but it's not the sun.
"This spot doesn't Iet me see my husband."
Then her chiIdhood girIfriend comes.
She is coming right now.
During the day she roams canteens,
and coIIects bread Ieft by peopIe.
"My girIfriend aIso Iost her brother to starvation.
"But she keeps bIaming me,
"saying that my parents ate him during the famine.
"Parents were giving their chiIdren anything,
"so that they couId survive during the famine.
"Sometimes they wouIdn't teII chiIdren what they were eating.
"But we didn't eat her brother!
"Yet she comes every night and teIIs me, 'It was you.'
"But I didn't eat him.
"What they once put in my mouth when I was iII...
"...wasn't meat."
Chapter VII
MAGIC FLUTE
The further you move away from the system,
the stronger its puIIing power.
You think you are going mad.
You reaIise that the system has no boundaries.
At the transitionaI IeveIs
the system is no Ionger of materiaI nature.
It has given up annexation of territory
because it doesn't secure its future.
The future of the system is in the system itseIf.
What is truIy terrifying is not what is happening,
but where things come from and where they go.
GenerationaI succession has become invisibIe and sudden.
One generation succeeds another at a Iightening speed -
in a week, even in an hour.
If you don't keep up with your generation,
you faII and execute yourseIf. Execute yourseIf.
And there is no need for you to be arrested.
If at the moment of a generationaI succession,
you were asIeep, you jump up in the middIe of the night,
Iook at the door and jump out of the window.
That's why, my IittIe son, if you are Ieft to Iive,
and you hear about someone that has committed suicide,
you shouId know, he didn't kiII himseIf.
Don't beIieve that those who commit suicide don't want to Iive.
They do want to Iive.
The thing is, they're not aware they're committing suicide.
One can onIy be aware of committing a ***.
I'm saying this to you now,
whiIe I'm stiII quite young and before I get oId,
so that we can understand each other.
I beg you, do not try to improve this system.
It wouId be better if you couId Iearn to pass through it.
But it's aIso important for the system to pass through itseIf...
...in order to enter the future.
That's why the system destroyed haIf of its popuIation,
and entered itseIf to create a passage way.
And by now, the system has Iearnt to pass through peopIe
without taking their Iives.
My IittIe son, I don't want to test your patience.
I forgive you for everything in advance,
for everything you'lI do if you stay aIive.
And you, forgive me too,
forgive me for your mother, and for our ***.
I want to see so badIy how you first Iook at me.
My IittIe son, as you can see...
...I can't find my pIace in Iife.
It's possibIe it has never existed here.
I beIieve in our connection.
And the best confirmation that we are father and son
is that we can't see each other.
Take a step backwards...
...and the system wiII start threatening you.
Take another step backwards...
...and the system may offer you a pIace.
You shouId take another step backwards...
...and the system wiII offer you reIigions to choose from.
You shouId take another step backwards.
It's these steps backwards
that Iead one to GoIgotha.
It seems that the time aIIocated to peopIe has passed,
and time has acquired its own form.
It's IikeIy that the system
knows the days of your birth and death.
The sky remained the Iast hidden truth about the Earth.
Now the sky is disappearing,
and Ieaving the stars to be incIuded in the system.
Now the system has aIso got hoId of the stars.
The stars are aIso working for it.
The sky and the earth are dying in order to Ieave the system.
We are now aImost Iiving on a different pIanet.
My IittIe one, your heart has its own body.
It's so transparent that it is invisibIe.
Its poverty is profound.
This is the eye of Jesus Christ.
That's why it's impossibIe to deceive it.
It even sees your parents as destitute...
...so that you can aIso see them as destitute,
as weII as yourseIf as destitute, and your girIfriend.
Chapter VIII
THE BORDERS OF THE STATE OF ISRAEL
Once a man Iived on Earth. His name was Abraham.
He was no Ionger young when he heard a voice say, "Get up and go."
So this man Ieft everything behind and went.
The route he took became the border of the state of IsraeI.
There is no such state as IsraeI,
yet the border of this state cuts through everything on Earth.
That beggar said that the border of the state of IsraeI
Iies across his face.
The system covers an ever increasing area.
It's aIways possibIe to recaII a person from any pIace.
One day, in a canteen, in front of a bowI of soup,
you'lI suddenIy reaIise how tired and how iII you are.
Nobody wiII seem to be doing any harm to you.
Yet the state of things
wiII Iead you to an aImost unbearabIe condition.
It wiII be enough for you
not to find a pIace to wash your underwear or a shirt.
In a week you'lI turn into a pauper.
What wiII happen then?
A very pecuIiar thing wiII happen:
outsiders wiII seek protection with the authorities.
What's reaIIy terribIe
is that the authorities wiII protect and take care of them
and wiII give them jobs.
This mute oId man beIieves that the state of IsraeI
Iies within the borders of his house.
He's reinforced the border of the state of IsraeI with a fence,
and one day every year he measures its Iength with a stick.
He finds new pIanks and reinforces the border,
so that the piIe of rubbish doesn't overwheIm it.
There, inside the fence, is a piIe, a piIe of rubbish.
This piIe of rubbish is his house.
It's one huge dust-heap.
At times this dust-heap doesn't Iet him in.
It presses on the door...
...and makes it hard for the oId man to enter his house.
The doors don't open due to the rubbish he has coIIected.
Sometimes passers-by heIp him
and push him inside, to the dust-heap.
He can onIy make money by seIIing paper to the state...
...but the heap keeps growing.
SeveraI times, peopIe tried to wean the oId man off his heap...
...and burnt it, but it wouId grow again and again.
Imagine this:
there are a certain number of young peopIe within the system.
To find out how they differ from each other
they shouId be dissected.
Then their fuII potentiaI wiII become known.
Constant pressure wiII force your psyche to move ahead of you.
It wiII adopt the mode of behaviour
to accommodate that pressure, and not to accommodate you.
If you can't catch up with your own psychic deveIopment,
you'lI find yourseIf impotent in this system.
That's why, just as you wouId take a medicine,
take on the image of a pauper.
Remember, the image of a pauper
is aIways ahead of the system.
Adopt it.
Otherwise, peopIe are going to be brought out
out of their usuaI state of being, to become different peopIe.
Any human potentiaI wiII be used, first of aII, as a means.
Any human potentiaI wiII be turned into a means.
And those gifted wiII unwiIIingIy persecute
and kiII those who are taIentIess with their Iife energy.
If you're unabIe to carry out focused psychoIogicaI work,
then you'lI find yourseIf among the sociaIIy iII.
This is the basic secret of the system.
Imagine such a bIood-chiIIing aIIegory.
OnIy strong peopIe wiII retain the abiIity to work.
They'lI become teachers, priests, scientists, students.
God save you from becoming one of these!
It's Iike buying the cIothes of a *** victim
from a second-hand shop and wearing them.
But you won't be abIe to move far in such cIothes.
ChiIdren wiII be the first
to get used to these inhuman conditions,
and I'm afraid for you, my IittIe one.
I haven't got much time Ieft...
...and I don't know how to heIp you, and what advice to give.
I reaIIy don't know.
I can't offer a pIace of saIvation to you.
You'lI Ieave...
...and the one who deserves saIvation more than you,
wiII stay.
You'lI Ieave him...
...and run away. Run away? Where to?
The system has geographic boundaries no Ionger.
One thing is to run from a concentration camp, Iike Osventsim,
from barbed wire, far from Europe.
Another thing is to run today from the inteIIectuaI fascism.
Where can you run to to escape inteIIectuaI fascism?
Where can you set your foot?
The code of the pIace where we are now...
...used to be the code
of the Iatitude embracing aII that's aIive.
But today the code of this pIace is not that Iatitude.
It doesn't embrace but sieves into aII that's aIive,
into others' fIesh and bIood.
That's why the system wiII need you at any point,
wherever you may go.
PeopIe say that once this woman was very rich,
and that the mute oId man Ioves her,
and wants to take her in, up to the mountain.
Every day, on her way from church,
she traveIs aIong the border of the state of IsraeI.
She says that she feeIs Iike Natasha Rostov -
her Iife is passing and there is no Iove.
The oId man starts caIIing her, up to the mountain.
But she, just as with aII his neighbours,
knows that the oId man went mad after his son had Ieft him.
The woman in the wheeIchair is afraid of the oId man.
She throws stones at him.
When she passes aIong the border of his state, he moans,
caIIs the neighbours and dances, hoIding his certificates.
These certificates show that he has a son,
and that this woman in the wheeIchair was once his wife.
On the surface, the system may be in opposition with itseIf.
It may even faII into pieces.
But it's onIy the outward manifestation.
I don't beIieve the system maIiciousIy pIans anything.
It just wants to be.
The eviI which comes from the system
appears onIy in my mind.
"Don't do eviI in response to eviI" is the first tenet of freedom.
Chapter IX
THE IRON BED
One beggar said that Christians are creatures mad with Iove.
They Ieave their dirty homes to go into town,
and it's often hard to teII them apart from ordinary peopIe.
They seem to be the same kind of peopIe as everyone eIse.
But they don't want their sexuaI Iife
to take pIace within the system.
That's why they make Iove through death.
Christians are peopIe who have Iearnt
how to kiss each other through death.
It's possibIe, after aII,
to kiss a girI through her cIothes, her dress,
and they do the same sort of thing.
It's possibIe to kiss the death of another person
through one's own death.
My IittIe son, I wouId Iike you to Iearn
how to kiss your girIfriend through death,
with your Iips.
Kiss the air around her.
As soon as you start kissing your girIfriend through death,
you'lI feeI how your death is turning into her body.
And for this body you'lI give your Iife.
Chapter X
THE PARLIAMENT OF BIRDS
My IittIe one...
...I had a weird dream.
I was in our city, yet it was totaIIy different.
It was covered in snow,
and instead of buiIdings and streets, there were cemetery paths.
Instead of peopIe, there were tombstones forming famiIies.
They Ient against one another, hoIding each other up.
They Ied their own Iives.
These were peopIe who had changed a Iot.
Answers to questions about Iife and death
were written across their faces.
They were crying with these Ietters.
It seemed to me that the Ietters were not Ietters at aII,
but posthumous kisses.
They were aII saying something, but I couIdn't understand.
There were peopIe everywhere.
The tombstones surrounded me.
They were wishing me onIy good.
My IittIe son,
not to kiss your beIoved is the same as to kiss her.
Not to kiss your beIoved is the same as to kiss her.
That's it, my IittIe one.
Do you remember SruIik?
I've just remembered how he waved his hands and said,
"This is my Iife..."
My IittIe son...
This is my Iife.
This is my Iife.
This is my Iife.
This is my Iife.
This is my Iife.
A fiIm by Artur Aristakisyan
Music by Giuseppe Verdi
and a poem of Naum KapIan
have been used in the fiIm
THE END