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I'm the first in line, a well known face, a V.I.P. in everyplace
My goal's set high to feel alright, get even more drink than last night
At the *** bar the floor I hit, don't need no chair, I'm too drunk to sit
A girl comes asking me to dance, "Of course not, ***, so kiss my ***"
The bartender refused me more to drink
So I hit him on the nose, cause his bar stinks
I try to leave but I just can't find the door
They throw me out to an all-night pen store
In to the store, proud of myself, with empty pockets and drunk as hell
I bounce between the food and stoof, convinced I'm still not drunk enough
A six-pack beer and a ***-mag is what I need in my shopping bag
The paper of a six-pack is my royal crown
I'm the one who's thrown out from every bar in town
King of the Sidewalk
Back in the streetlight, stolen brew in my hand
I behave like a ***, a horrible man
Loud and unpleasant, always the worst
A king of bad manners, proud of my thirst
Bought or homemade ***, don't really mind
Cause you're still able to drink even if you're blind
To see double or nothing is what I choose
As long as I can feel the taste of ***
Totally gone I sleep somewhere 'til dawn
Don't know where I've been, I wake up on someone's lawn
I find yesterday's dinner all over my chest
On my leather jacket and on my blue jeans-vest