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I think the biggest thing to consider, that when we're getting in our way, it's a defense
mechanism that's trying to protect us. You know, an example of that comes to mind is
a client that I've worked with who was sexually abused. This client came to me hoping to reduce
their weight and what would happen is, that every time she would begin to lose weight,
she would get more attention from men and that attention from men would become very
overwhelming and before we knew it, she would find herself bingeing, she would find herself
no longer going to the gym and she would find herself, you know, on the metaphorical couch,
saying Stephany, I don't understand, you know, every time I lose weight I gain it back. Now,
to her it's about the weight. But the truth is, that's it's never really about what it's
about. The truth is that the reason why she's getting in her own way is because of the deeper
issue. The deeper issue being the pain of the *** abuse and the fear that men will
do to her what other men have done to her in the past. So, in a situation like that,
it's about being compassionate towards yourself and understanding that when we are in our
way, there's usually a reason why. You know, in that case, our defense mechanisms are most
loyal companions, you know. They keep us stuck, so that we don't have to run the risk of putting
ourselves in a situation that could lead to a hurt that we've already experienced. So,
in a case like that, you want to get support. You want to find somebody that you can trust
and somebody who's going to be able to help you see, you know, what the real issue is.
Because, once you know that real issue, and once you start working on that issue, your
life starts to transform and I can say, after working with that client and really dealing
with her fear of men, not only is she in a wonderful relationship now, but her weight
is at her goal weight.