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Beep beep! Hey there pretty fountain-girl.
So I believe that we had an agreement.
Oh?
Yes. You won Granter of the Month. I bet that you'd win Granter of the Month. And the prize was a date with you.
I may recall something like that. How's Friday night?
Oh...I have a Vegans Anonymous Meeting and its my turn to bring the free-range kale krispie treats.
Oh.
Saturday?
Oh I cant! I promised Shari we'd watch Aladdin.
Again?
Yeah...How's Sunday?
Every third Sunday of the month mailmen across the country get together to shake packages. It's like tradition or something.
I had no idea we were both so busy.
Oh! I know! Why don't we have our first date here?
At Wish It?
Yeah. We met here. You won Granter of the Month here, congratulations again, and I won a date with you here!
Congratulations to me.
Thats true...that could work! We wouldn't be able to stop working though. The mail and wishes don't stop just for us.
Well then we'll break it up. We get three mid-afternoon breaks between clocking-in and noon. Then an hour for lunch.
And then two post-mid-early-afternoon breaks afterwards.
Thank you U.S. Department of Labor!
Travis: Stop pilfering the new equipment, you've been using it all day! I need it now!
No! You waste it, you just use it to organize your commemorative Ryan Gosling plates.
I have a system!
Yvette: That YOU made! Because you're the only one that makes those plates, they don't sell those.
What are you guys fighting about?
Yvette: The new girl! Travis: The new girl!
You do realize that's like, an actual person, right?
Yvette: Shut up Karla! Travis: Shut up Karla!
No one asked you, ***!
[ Loud Bickering ]
Yes...yes I am well aware, Mister The Rock but I just can't make Fast Five go away.
Mirror sweetie, can you bump my 3-o'clock to 5? Mamma needs a nap.
Sure thing! I'll...make some soothing ocean sounds!
Shari dear! What can I do for you? I'm awfully busy.
Well Fairy Godmamma, I need to cash in a few of those vacation days!
Oh?
Well you know that homeless shelter down on Third street?
Yes of course.
Right next to it is five-star restaurant where D-List celebrities fight in a pit while you get to throw treats at them!
And unless you have reservations you had best be in line three days prior.
Oh, I'm sorry Shari but I can't let you go. You've already used up your vacation days, dear.
And you used up your sick days when you said you caught the Walking Dead virus.
It's highly contagious.
We've had to make some serious cutbacks what with this Penny problem.
Dang! I was looking forward to throwing a steak at a Baldwin. Are you sure there's no way I can get the time off?
Well you'd have to grant about two weeks worth of wishes in one day.
Then that's what I'll do!
[ Godmother Laughing ]
What's so funny?!
Oh honey, the last time we asked you to stay late you tried to cut your own foot off in the bathroom.
Hannah: Well, someone's been busy!
Teddy: Yup, I got a buddy to take over my post-morning shift.
We only have a couple minutes before my pre-mid-late-afternoon shift starts.
Hannah: Best get started then!
Where did you grow up?
Ten miles from here at my parent's home. They moved here because they're scared of billboards.
What do they do?
white-picket-fence factory. Did you go to school?
Five years. Masters in shadow puppet theory and design. Waste of money.
Hopes and dreams?
Travel to France and maybe learn how to juggle.
Most romantic thing you can think of right now?
♫ L is for the way you... ♫
[ DING! ]
Travis: Wendy!
I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is my super collider is broken and you're going to fix it!
The good news...is for someone else!
What!? Okay, I would but I'm too busy! Yvette already asked me to organize the teenager wishes in order of angst.
Yvette: Hey! This may seem like a foreign concept to you but some of us actually have some to do some work around here.
Mamma Y! Papa T! Please don't fight in front of me! This is bringing me back to the time my Grandma and her spiritual
life partner Javier used to fight at the bottom of the stairs.
Wendy, no matter what happens between Yvette and I, we both love you very much.
Exactly! The differences between him and I have nothing to do with you.
Wait a minute...they have EVERYTHING to do with you! Get back to work!
I don't need both of these!
What am I supposed to do with these!?
Hannah: So how long do we have?
Teddy: Well luckily it's lunch, so we have a whole hour to ourselves!
Jojo: Guys! Guys! You have to check out this- why is it stuck on me!?
Jojo: You have to check out this video I found online! It's called 'Chinese Woman on the Toilet' it's NOT what you think!
...Okay it is what you think, but watch!
Jojo: Here it comes...here it comes....here it comes, BAM!
Jojo: I lost my appetite. Teddy: I can't stop watching, ewww.
Jojo: I know, it's like a car accident...on a toilet.
Yvette: You don't know the first thing about setting up a new girl! What are you just going to put her under your desk?
Travis: She's very comfortable there! Yvette: You really are putting her under your desk.
I'll get her a stool or something!
Are you even getting her to the break room for lunch? She has to eat you know!
She doesn't need to- Wilma and I have grown very close!
Um, my name's Wendy. But thats okay. My grandma forgot my name all the time.
One time she tried to sell me to a truck stop and I had to clean bathrooms for two weeks.
See, she's fine!
Guys! I finished my W-1 form!
Travis: Awww! That's great sweetheart. Yvette: Awww!
Yvette: We're gonna put it up on the fridge in the break room!
Now look! She may be weird but she's an employee here, not your personal chore monkey. She's mine! So scram!
Yvette: Pastels!
Mamma Yvette...where did Papa T go?
Look, Wendell, sometimes Travis and I don't see eye-to-eye and we have to work at different parts of the office.
But that doesn't mean that we care about you any less. You're going see him every other weekend and Jewish holiday.
Plus Ramadan.
You called me Wendell.
Isn't that your name?
My name's Wendy.
Hmm, Wendell's better.
You're right...Wendell.
[ Jojo Snoring ]
Oh Shari. Have you given up already?
Nope! I got through two weeks worth of wishes faster than a Southern girl can come up with folksy sayings!
Really? Two weeks worth of wishes? How?
Oh, I have my ways.
Hey Karla! How are you?
I'm...not too good, actually. I just found out that my three legged dalmatian has to get his other three legs-
Ha! That's a funny story! I need you to run that ad on the biggest billboard we got.
Shari! You are not wearing a top in this photo!
Thanks sugar! Is there anything I can do for ya'll?
Actually, I could really use a ride to the vet later!
Oh my God that is a fantastic story! Hey, anyone else!
It's that big one down the street.
I'm advertising my wishes!
Oh dear! Well...congratulations.
Hannah: It's almost 5-o'clock.
Teddy: And we're on our last late-mid-afternoon-post-morning break.
Hannah: Maybe without anymore interruptions...
Jojo: Hey Ted!
Hannah: Of course...of course!
Jojo: Come on, we're racing leprechauns down on the third floor! You in?
Hannah: You race the leprechauns!?
Jojo: No! That'd be cruel...we strap them on little ponies and they ride them.
Teddy: You know, maybe we shouldn't race them anymore, I mean it's disrespectful and degrading and-
Jojo: O'Flanagan is out sick today. Teddy: Oh, then $20 on McDermott.
Teddy: Now get out! Go! Get out! Out! Out! Go! Faster! Go!
It's almost 5-o'clock.
I know we better wrap up this first date, and fast.
But I don't want to miss out on the fun first-date stuff. Like holding hands and that awkward moment when your eyes meet
when you talk about a relative in jail. Or a goodnight kiss.
Teddy: Neither to I.
My uncle Ronnie one got arrested for shooting at geese in the park. He has PTSD from Nam.
It's starting to look like we'll have to let someone go.
What!?
Hannah: I can't believe someone's getting fired!
I have a plan! We can make sure both of us keep our jobs!
So what's the plan?
Hello Karla.
Ya'll ready for Granter of the Month?
Yvette and I decided to Freaky Friday our jobs because she thought hers was harder than mine!
It IS harder than yours.
Maybe we should go out sometime.
The newest Granter of the Month is...
Synthetic PictureHaus
It's Wendy! My name is Wendy!