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ALL OVER SCHOOL,
THERE ARE THESE CERTAIN PLACES
THAT ARE, LIKE, RESERVED
FOR CERTAIN PEOPLE.
MY BIGGEST REGRET IS...
BREAKING UP WITH KYLE
LIKE, BEFORE MIDTERMS.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO CROSS A CERTAIN LINE.
SIN! HEY, ABYSSINIA!
IT'S THIS UNWRITTEN LAW,
LIKE GRAVITY OR SOMETHING.
COME ON. THEY'RE WAITING FOR US.
LIKE, IN THE BASEMENT NEAR THE NORTH EXIT,
THERE'S THIS BOILER ROOM...
WHERE CERTAIN PEOPLE WILL, LIKE, GO
FOR, LIKE, ONLY ONE REASON.
I'D NEVER BEEN THERE,
EVER...
IN MY LIFE.
I'M MISSING MY GEOMETRY REVIEW.
LUCKILY, IT'S OPTIONAL.
[BELL RINGS]
YOU HAD TO TAKE OVER TWO ENGLISH CLASSES
EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE A MATH TEACHER?
GEE ***.
IT WAS JUST TEMPORARY
TILL THEY COULD FIND SOMEONE.
IT WAS TERRIFYING.
I WAS NEVER EVEN GOOD IN ENGLISH,
BUT ANYWAY I'M GLAD
THAT THEY FINALLY HIRED YOU. I MEAN--
ANGELA CHASE, WHY WEREN'T YOU IN GEOMETRY REVIEW?
OH, I THOUGHT IT--
ANGELA, YOU NEED THIS.
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PASS YOUR MIDTERM?
I THOUGHT IT WAS OPTIONAL, BUT I'LL DEFINITELY...
UH...NO, YEAH. NO.
[SIGHS]
IT JUST BREAKS MY HEART, SOME OF THESE GIRLS.
I MEAN, THEY ARE JUST SO SMART, AND YET--
IT'S CALLED LOW SELF-ESTEEM.
GOOD MORNING.
HI.
HI. I'M MARIANNE CHAVATAL.
OH, HI.
I'M SORRY. THIS IS RICHARD KATIMSKI.
RICHARD'S TAKING OVER MY ENGLISH CLASSES.
BY THE WAY, IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS
ABOUT--ABOUT ANYTHING, I MEAN--
[BELL RINGS]
AH.
AH, WELL, TO BE CONTINUED.
BY THE WAY, IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, DON'T HESITATE.
OH, THANK YOU.
THANKS.
RENEE, HE'S ADORABLE.
SHH! SHH!
WELL, HE IS.
I KNOW.
SINCE THIS IS OUR FIRST CLASS TOGETHER,
I THOUGHT I'D START WITH ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONNETS
BY...
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.
SO WHO WOULD LIKE TO READ THIS ALOUD?
GEE ***.
IT'LL TAKE ME A WHILE TO LEARN ALL OF YOUR NAMES.
WHERE IS ENRIQUE VASQUEZ?
OOH, ENRIQUE!
Sí, MI NOMBRE ES ENRIQUE,
[LATINO ACCENT] AND I WANT TO LIVE IN AMERICA.
[LAUGHTER]
I'M TRANSFERRING OUT.
DON'T. WE WON'T BE IN THE SAME ENGLISH CLASS.
YOU NEVER EVEN GO TO ENGLISH.
WELL, IN CASE I EVER DO.
ANYWAY, ISN'T ENRIQUE LEGALLY YOUR NAME?
I DON'T CARE!
AND HE ACTS LIKE HE'S THIS NICE GUY
WHEN OBVIOUSLY HE'S NOT.
AND HE TAKES THESE UNBELIEVABLY LONG PAUSES
LIKE--O.K., THIS IS HIM.
MY NAME IS MR., UH...
KATIMSKI.
AND HERE'S A SONNET BY WILLIAM, UH...
SHAKESPEARE, WHO'S ALMOST AS BORING AS I, MR., UH...
OH, NO.
SEE YOU.
ENRIQUE.
M-MAY I, UH...
UH...
S-SPEAK TO YOU FOR A MOMENT?
HE ACTUALLY ASKED ME
IF I WOULD CONSIDER JOINING DRAMA CLUB.
HE MUST HAVE, LIKE, NO LIFE.
SO? NEITHER DO YOU.
DRAMA CLUB IS SOMETHING I COULD ALMOST PICTURE DOING
IF I WAS REALLY BORED OR SOMETHING.
BUT WITH HIM RUNNING IT?
PASS-OLA.
WHERE DID YOU GET CHINESE FOOD?
TWO WORDS--
TINO.
SO GUESS WHERE ANGELA IS.
I KNOW.
YOU KNOW? HOW DO YOU KNOW?
BECAUSE I LIVE IN THE WORLD.
IT'S SO ROMANTIC.
THEY'RE, LIKE, THIS COUPLE NOW.
WE'LL SEE.
[DOOR OPENS]
HONEY?
I'M HOME.
PLEASE, DON'T GET UP.
HI.
HI.
[SIGHS]
WHERE'S ANGELA?
IN REFORM SCHOOL.
GOOD.
MAYBE SHE'LL LEARN HOW TO MAKE HER BED.
I'M JUST REVIEWING SOME TERMS FOR THE CLASS TOMORROW
SO I CAN FOLLOW WHAT--
A LOT OF SAUCE STUFF IS IN FRENCH.
GRAHAM, YOU'LL BE FINE.
IT ISN'T EVEN AN ADVANCED COURSE.
IT'S INTERMEDIATE.
YEAH, BUT WHAT'S INTERMEDIATE?
WHAT IF I'M NOT INTERMEDIATE OR NOT INTERMEDIATE ENOUGH?
WHAT IS "MEDI...OCRITY"?
LOOK IT UP.
[DOOR CLOSES]
HI.
WELL, HI.
HELLO.
HELLO.
SO WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?
UH, STUDYING FOR MIDTERMS.
YOU HUNGRY?
NO.
O.K., NOW, I REFUSE TO PANIC
JUST BECAUSE SHE'S HAPPY.
ALTHOUGH IT'S ALARMING.
ALTHOUGH IT'S TERRIBLY ALARMING.
EVERY NIGHT I MAKE THE SAME VOW
THAT TOMORROW I WILL GO TO GEOMETRY REVIEW,
BUT EVERY DAY...
WE BARELY TALKED,
SO WHEN WE DID,
IT CAME OUT SOUNDING REALLY MEANINGFUL.
THERE'S A TINY LEAF IN YOUR HAIR.
WHERE?
WAS THAT YOUR STOMACH OR MY STOMACH?
YOUR CUTICLES LOOK LIKE LITTLE MOONS.
MY WHAT?
YOUR CUTICLES.
[SHANE] CATALANO, YOU DOWN HERE?
SHH.
THE FACT THAT WE COME HERE...
LET'S KEEP IT, LIKE, UH...
OUR SECRET.
WHY?
NO REASON.
[SHANE] CATALANO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
NOTHING.
WHO YOU GOT IN THERE?
JUST--JUST A GIRL.
YEAH?
YEAH.
KNOCK IT OFF.
WHO?
NOBODY?
SHUT UP.
[MRS. LERNER] VERY GOOD.
NOW DRAW A CIRCLE
WITH TWO INTERSECTING CHORDS.
AND WHEN TWO CHORDS INTERSECT INSIDE A CIRCLE,
THE PRODUCT OF THE SEGMENTS OF ONE CHORD
EQUALS WHAT?
MY WHOLE LIFE BECAME, LIKE, DIVIDED...
INTO KISSING...
AND NOT KISSING.
KISSING...
AND...
NOT KISSING.
ONCE AGAIN, PEOPLE,
IF YOU RECEIVE LESS THAN A 70 ON THIS QUIZ,
YOU SHOULD BE ATTENDING
MY FIFTH-PERIOD REVIEW SESSIONS.
IN GEOMETRY, I FELT LIKE A CRIMINAL.
I MISSED EVERY REVIEW SESSION,
SO I TRIED TO BE INVISIBLE.
IT'S SURPRISINGLY POSSIBLE.
YOU JUST SIT IN THE BACK AND KEEP QUIET
AND LET THE BOYS SHOUT OUT THE ANSWERS,
WHICH THEY WILL, EVEN IF THEY'RE WRONG.
BOYS ARE LESS AFRAID OF BEING WRONG.
I'M NOT HAPPY.
GOOD JOB.
MISS LERNER, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
ANYONE WITH A QUESTION ABOUT THEIR GRADE
CAN SPEAK TO ME TOMORROW BEFORE CLASS.
[BELL RINGS]
HEY, SIN, WHAT'S UP?
NOTHING.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO GO TO REVIEWS.
WITH 4 MORE POINTS, I WOULD'VE HAD A 70.
HOW ABOUT YOU? HOW'D YOU DO?
UH, 60.
I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU AT REVIEW.
ABYSSINIA,
KEEP IT UP.
SHE'S ALWAYS TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER OR SOMETHING.
WELL, MAYBE I CAN HELP YOU.
I DID GET SIX MORE POINTS THAN YOU.
THAT'S TRUE.
ANGELA CHASE, HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO PASS YOUR MIDTERM?
I'M SORRY.
SORRY WON'T CUT IT.
I WANT TO SEE YOU AT TOMORROW'S REVIEW SESSION.
CLEAR?
YES.
[THUD]
YOU SHOULD REALLY CONSIDER
HAVING YOUR LIPS FROSTED PERMANENTLY.
I FEEL LIKE THEY WERE.
I NOTICED.
THEY LOOK ALL, LIKE, USED,
BUT IN A GOOD WAY.
HEY, RAY, DON'T TELL ANYONE, O.K.?
THAT RHYMED.
TELL ANYONE WHAT?
THAT I'M MEETING JORDAN CATALANO IN THE BOILER ROOM.
JUST--JUST DON'T TELL ANYONE.
WHY?
BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT PEOPLE TO, LIKE...
KNOW ABOUT US YET OR SOMETHING.
ANGELA, YOU'RE LETTING JORDAN CATALANO...
LIKE, CONTROL YOU.
WHAT? WHO SAYS HE'S CONTROLLING ME?
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
FOR MONTHS, YOU'VE BEEN TRYING TO CONVINCE ME
TO DO THESE THINGS I'D NEVER DREAM OF DOING.
NOW THAT I'M ACTUALLY DOING THEM--
HAVEN'T YOU MADE OUT WITH BOYS
IN THE BOILER ROOM HUNDREDS OF TIMES?
SO?
SO ARE THEY CONTROLLING YOU?
NO, BECAUSE I AM NOT YOU,
BECAUSE AS I HAVE STATED A HUNDRED TIMES,
I DON'T GET MY EMOTIONS INVOLVED.
I'M THE TYPE OF PERSON
WHO CAN HANDLE THE BOILER ROOM.
YOU ARE NOT.
WELL, BYE, DADDY.
TELL MOTHER THANKS FOR THE CURTAIN RINGS.
[CREAK]
WHOA. YOU HEAR THAT?
YOU GOT A SQUEAKY FLOORBOARD.
I'D LOOK INTO THAT IF I WERE YOU.
WELL, YOU'RE NOT ME.
WHAT'S THAT?
NOTHING. I'LL LOOK INTO IT.
IT'S RIGHT ABOUT THERE. YOU HEAR THAT?
YUP. UH-HUH.
WHERE'S MR. FIX-IT TONIGHT?
HE'S TAKING A CLASS.
A CLASS?
FOR WHAT?
STOCKS, SOUPS, AND SAUCES.
IT HAPPENS TO BE A VERY ADVANCED CLASS
FOR VERY ADVANCED COOKS.
DON'T GIVE ME THAT ADVANCED CRAP.
HE OUGHT TO BE PULLING HIS WEIGHT.
THIS IS A BIG STEP FOR GRAHAM.
HE'S AT A TURNING POINT IN HIS LIFE,
AND I SUPPORT HIM.
TURNING POINT. THAT'S A HELL OF A NOTE.
YOU LISTEN TO ME.
STOP THROWING MONEY AWAY ON SOME SAUCE CLASS.
GET ONE OF THOSE-- WHAT DO YOU CALL 'EM...
MARRIAGE COUNSELORS?
NO, NO.
A HEADHUNTER.
THAT'S WHAT YOU NEED.
SOMEONE TO GET HIM A JOB,
SO HE CAN STOP SPONGING OFF HIS WIFE.
THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND GRAHAM, O.K.?
YOU DON'T KNOW ALL THE PARTICULARS.
I'M YOUR FATHER. THAT'S THE PARTICULARS.
AND YOU DESERVE BETTER.
WELL...
THIS UTTERLY SUCKS.
I HATE WAITING.
MY FIANCÉ SAYS I HAVE THE SHORTEST ATTENTION SPAN
KNOWN TO MAN.
GUM? BREATH MINT?
UH...
WELL, WE'RE OFF TO A SWELL START, AREN'T WE,
THE TEACHER BEING 14 MINUTES LATE.
HEY, DOESN'T THIS REMIND YOU
OF A TWILIGHT ZONE EPISODE?
THEY THINK THEY'VE SIGNED ON
FOR AN ORDINARY COOKING CLASS,
BUT WERE FORCED TO MAKE AWKWARD CONVERSATION
WITH 13 STRANGERS FOR ALL ETERNITY.
NO, WAIT. ONE OF THOSE HUMAN BEHAVIOR EXPERIMENTS
TO DETERMINE HOW LONG IT TAKES
BEFORE WE TURN INTO LORD OF THE FLIES.
I SAY WE GIVE HIM FIVE MORE MINUTES,
THEN MUTINY.
TAKE OVER THE STOVE. ARE YOU WITH ME?
MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL GO AROUND THE ROOM
AND SAY WHY WE'RE HERE.
I'LL START.
HI. UM...
MY FIANCÉ HATES MY COOKING.
NOW YOU KNOW EVERYTHING.
NEXT?
WELL?
SO, HOW WAS THE CLASS?
STRANGE.
WELL, UM...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, STRANGE?
I MEAN...
HOW WAS IT?
DO WE HAVE ANY MORE OF THAT SPICY MUSTARD?
DID YOU FEEL LIKE EVERYONE WAS MORE EXPERIENCED
THAN YOU WERE OR SOMETHING?
WHY WOULD YOU ASSUME THAT?
I WASN'T ASSUMING ANYTHING.
I WAS JUST ASKING.
GRAHAM...
IT'S O.K. IF YOU HATED IT.
IT WOULD PROBABLY MAKE MORE SENSE
JUST TO TAKE THE TUITION MONEY
AND USE IT TO HIRE A HEADHUNTER
OR SOMETHING.
WHAT? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?
WELL, IF THE CLASS ISN'T WORKING OUT...
WHO SAID IT WASN'T WORKING OUT?
NOBODY.
HE NEVER SHOWED.
WE WERE ALL JUST SITTING THERE WAITING,
THEN FINALLY THIS KIND OF LOUD WOMAN STARTED COMPLAINING,
WHICH SORT OF BROKE THE ICE.
SHE HAD A FLIP PHONE IN HER PURSE.
SHE EVEN HAD STEFFAN DIETER'S ASSISTANT'S NUMBER.
THE KIND OF OBNOXIOUS PERSON THAT HAS EVERYTHING.
SO IT TURNS OUT
STEFFAN DIETER HAD BEEN RUSHED TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM
WITH FOOD POISONING.
BUT NOT FROM HIS FOOD.
FROM THESE TAINTED SHRIMP AT SOME BOOK SIGNING.
MY GOD.
AND THIS WOMAN, THE OBNOXIOUS ONE,
SHE GOT THEM TO RESCHEDULE THE CLASS FOR FRIDAY.
HOW STRANGE.
CATALANO.
IN YOUR OWN WORLD MUCH?
YOU GOING TO BUFFALO TOM FRIDAY?
TITO FOUND OUT THAT THEY'RE PLAYING
AT PIKE STREET FRIDAY NIGHT, LIKE, UNANNOUNCED.
OH, YEAH?
YEAH. PLAY, LIKE, A SET.
SURE.
O.K.
YEAH, SO...
BUFFALO TOM, O.K.
WELL, LATER.
OH, O.K.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
LATER.
I HAVE ALL THIS GEOMETRY.
I WAS HOPING YOU'D BE HERE.
SO, YOU'RE GOING TO BUFFALO TOM?
WHAT?
BUFFALO TOM.
DIDN'T I HEAR THAT THEY'RE PLAYING AT PIKE STREET?
I THINK I HEARD THAT SOMEWHERE.
OH, YEAH. I'M GOING.
WHY?
NO REASON.
RAT IT, SPRAY IT, TEASE IT, FREEZE IT,
SPIKE IT, SHAVE IT, OR SHOVE IT?
EXCUSE ME, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A CLASS?
EXCUSE ME. I WAS ADDRESSING MYSELF.
O.K.
SO...WHAT'S THE DEAL
WITH ANGELA AND JORDAN CATALANO?
HERE'S A THOUGHT-- ASK HER.
I CAN'T. SHE'LL THINK I'M CHECKING UP ON HER.
SO, ARE THEY, LIKE, A COUPLE?
FROM WHAT I BELIEVE,
OR FROM WHAT SHE BELIEVES?
FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF REALITY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I'D HAVE TO SAY...
SHE COULD REALLY GET HURT HERE.
TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW.
I KNOW. THAT'S THE WHOLE PROBLEM.
DON'T YOU HAVE FRENCH THIS PERIOD?
YOU SHOULD TALK. YOU'RE NEVER AT OUR GEOMETRY REVIEW.
ANGELICA...
ANGELA, WE'RE, LIKE, CONCERNED, O.K.?
BECAUSE I CUT A FEW GEOMETRY REVIEWS?
YOU TWO DISCUSS ME NOW?
WE DON'T DISCUSS ANYTHING. WE'RE BARELY...
FRIENDS. ARE WE FRIENDS?
NO.
I'M NOT DISCUSSING JORDAN CATALANO.
WHY NOT?
WHY IS HE KEEPING YOU TWO A SECRET?
HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
RAYANNE TOLD ME.
LOOK, THE ONLY REASON WE TALK LIKE THIS
IS BECAUSE WE CARE ABOUT YOU.
WHEN I WAS DRUGGING, YOU WANTED ME TO STOP.
YOU'RE COMPARING ME MAKING OUT WITH JORDAN CATALANO
TO YOU GETTING YOUR STOMACH PUMPED?
YOU DON'T SEE THE CONNECTION.
THE CONNECTION IS SELF-RESPECT.
THANK YOU.
ANGELA, GOD, YOU KNOW, THE POINT IS--
WHO IS HE TO TREAT YOU LIKE THIS?
YOU'RE NOT COOL ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE SEEN WITH YOU?
AND SHE'S NOT SLUTTY ENOUGH FOR HIM TO DO HER.
I MEAN, PLEASE, YOU DESERVE, LIKE, SO MUCH BETTER.
JUST 'CAUSE HE'S NOT KYLE,
AND WE DON'T GO DOWN THE HALLS HOLDING HANDS.
WHAT IS HOLDING HANDS?
WHAT ARE HANDS?
IT'S NOT EVEN AN ERO-GEENOUS ZONE.
EROGENOUS. AND IT IS TO ME.
YOU'RE BOTH WRONG.
AND IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE SEEN WITH ME,
THEN WHY DID HE ASK ME TO MEET HIM FRIDAY TO HEAR BUFFALO TOM?
NOT THAT I CAN GO. I HAVE TOO MUCH GEOMETRY.
MAYBE I'LL GO. I LIKE BUFFALO TOM.
WHAT?
I DO.
YOU KNOW, I'M SICK OF BEING PERFECT.
I BROKE UP WITH KYLE.
I HAVE A TOTAL RIGHT
TO SCREW UP MY MIDTERMS.
MORE LIKE AN OBLIGATION.
I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.
HI.
OH, HI.
IT'S RENE.
RENE, OF COURSE.
THERE'S SO MANY NEW NAMES IN ONE...
WEEK.
I JUST THOUGHT I'D SAY HI.
WELL, GOOD.
WE NEVER REALLY GOT TO FINISH OUR CONVERSATION,
SO...
NOT THAT WE HAD TO FINISH IT.
I JUST THOUGHT...
WHAT A WEEK, HUH?
I'LL BE SO GLAD WHEN MIDTERMS ARE OVER.
SO MANY OF MY KIDS ARE JUST SLIDING DOWNHILL.
IT'S SO DISCOURAGING,
BUT YOU TRY TO REACH OUT.
I MEAN, YOU REALLY TRY,
BUT WHEN THEY DON'T TAKE THE NEXT STEP,
IT'S JUST SO FRUSTRATING.
WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME?
FOR A MOMENT.
ENRIQUE...
WHERE ARE YOU TWO SUPPOSED TO BE?
WE WERE GOING TO LUNCH.
WE HAD TO STOP BY MY LOCKER--
SPARE ME THE EXPLANATION.
JUST GET TO THE CAFETERIA.
TOTALLY.
WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN JOINING DRAMA CLUB?
WOULD IT GET ME OUT OF ANYTHING?
I DOUBT IT.
O.K. GO TO LUNCH.
SEE YOU, ENRIQUE.
UH...
PEOPLE DON'T CALL ME ENRIQUE,
EXCEPT, LIKE, MY GRANDMOTHER,
AND SHE'S DEAD.
OH, O.K.
I'LL TRY TO--
IMAGINE HAVING A NAME LIKE ENRIQUE AND NOT USING IT.
I'M AN ENRIQUE, TOO.
SORT OF. WELL...RICHARD.
IT'S NOT QUITE THE SAME THING.
NO.
UH, RICHARD WOULD BE RICARDO.
OH, HERE'S THE SIGN-UP SHEET.
BY THE WAY, IN CASE YOU WANT TO SIGN UP.
DID I TALK TO YOU?
YES.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
THAT I'M NOT INTERESTED.
OH, WELL. MAYBE YOU'LL CHANGE YOUR MIND.
I'M POSITIVE I WON'T.
WELL, IF YOU DO, HERE'S THE SIGN-UP SHEET.
THE FIRST MEETING'S FRIDAY.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER RIGHT AWAY.
YOU GIVE IT SOME THOUGHT.
DO YOU SEE WHAT I'M SAYING?
I WAS KIDDING YOU. CAN'T YOU TAKE A JOKE?
RENE?
UH, WHAT IS IT?
I JUST MADE THE BIGGEST FOOL OUT OF MYSELF.
[BELL RINGS]
NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
HE SAYS, "GEE ***."
AND HE WON'T STOP WITH THIS DRAMA CLUB STUFF.
HE'S DRIVING ME STARK, RAVING MAD!
DID I TELL YOU WHAT ANGELA CHASE ASKED ME?
I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY LET PEOPLE LIKE THAT TEACH.
SHE ASKED IF I'D COME OVER TONIGHT
AND EXPLAIN CONGRUENT TRIANGLES.
I SAID, "DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN
SINCE I EVEN HAD GEOMETRY?"
SHE HANDS ME HER GEOMETRY BOOK,
LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO REVIEW IT.
HE DIDN'T EVEN SEE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ENRIQUE AND RICARDO.
WHO'S ENRIQUE AND RICARDO?
LOOK AT ALL THIS WORK I HAVE TO DO.
I COULD SPEND THE ENTIRE WEEKEND,
LIKE, WITHOUT MEALS.
EVEN THEN I COULDN'T GET IT ALL DONE.
THEY'RE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT NAMES.
I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT SOME PEOPLE WILL ASK OTHERS TO DO.
SO YOU'RE NOT GOING?
WELL, I MIGHT STOP BY.
JUST TO KIND OF TAKE A STUDY BREAK.
GO ON. TASTE IT.
IT'S TERRIBLE.
PARDON?
NO, GO ON.
OH.
DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. TASTE IT.
JUST-- IT NEEDS SOMETHING.
YEAH, LIKE A TASTE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KNEW ALL THAT STUFF ABOUT POTTAGE.
WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT, FRANCE?
JUST PICKED IT UP. TRIAL AND ERROR.
YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS CLASS.
SAY...
WHAT DO WE THINK OF HIM?
STEFFAN DIETER?
NO, RUSH LIMBAUGH.
WELL, I THINK--
DID YOU UNDERSTAND ONE WORD HE WAS SAYING
THROUGH THE ENTIRE CLASS?
HE'S FOREIGN.
ALSO DRUNK.
WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK HE'S BEEN LONGER?
SHH! YOU REALLY THINK SO?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
LOOK AT THAT SCHNOZ.
IT'S A BROKEN CAPILLARY FESTIVAL.
IF HE DOESN'T GET IT TOGETHER,
I'LL MAKE SUCH A STINK.
REALLY?
WOULD I KID YOU?
I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, WE DESERVE BETTER.
I MEAN...
DON'T WE?
MAN, THAT STEFFAN DIETER GUY IS...
WHAT?
REALLY HARD TO FOLLOW.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN EXACTLY?
THESE ARE NICE.
YOU ACTUALLY MADE THESE?
YES, WHY DO YOU SOUND SO SURPRISED?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "HARD TO FOLLOW"?
IN WHAT WAY?
WHEN HE SPEAKS, IT'S HARD TO FOLLOW IT.
FOR YOU TO FOLLOW OR--
WHAT DID I JUST SAY?
NO, I MEAN...
COULD NOBODY FOLLOW IT OR--
WHY WOULD ONLY I HAVE PROBLEMS FOLLOWING?
I'M JUST ASK--
WHY DO YOU DO THIS?
I JUST ASKED IS IT POSSIBLE
THERE WERE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED WHAT HE WAS SAYING?
I'M GOING UPSTAIRS.
AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, HE'S A LUSH.
HE'S A DRUNKEN LOUT.
♪ SOFT WORDS SPOKEN SOFTLY ♪
♪ SPOKEN PROMISES BROKEN ♪
♪ CLOSE MY EYES AND STARE... ♪
SEE, I TOLD YOU.
YOU JUST GOT TO PUT YOUR THUMB OVER THE PICTURE.
THEY'RE EVEN CUTER THAN ON THEIR CD.
♪ VOLUNTEER... ♪
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE.
I HAVE, LIKE, SO MUCH WORK TO DO.
HE'S NOT HERE.
I MEAN, I HAVE, LIKE, THREE MIDTERMS NEXT WEEK.
SHE WENT TO HEAR BUFFALO TOM.
♪ I HELD HER HAND TOO TIGHT... ♪
WE MAY AS WELL JUST LEAVE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WANT TO LEAVE ALREADY
JUST 'CAUSE YOU DON'T...
THERE HE IS.
THERE'S RAYANNE GRAFF
AND THAT WEIRD GIRL SHE ALWAYS HANGS OUT WITH.
HE DOESN'T SEEM LIKE HE SAW ME.
HE'S BUSY. I'M NOT EVEN GOING--
WHAT? FORGET BUSY.
HE ASKED YOU TO ME HIM HERE.
WHY ISN'T HE COMING TO YOU?
'CAUSE HE DOESN'T SEE ME.
HE'S BUSY.
♪ WELL, I PUT THEM IN A JAR ♪
♪ I KNOW THAT HE HAS STYLE ♪
♪ I'D DO IT IF I COULD... ♪
WILL YOU GO OVER THERE, PLEASE?
I MEAN, REALLY.
REALLY!
HI.
HI.
UH...
YOU'RE KIND OF CROWDING ME.
♪ I--I CLOSE MY DOOR AT NIGHT ♪
♪ BUT SHE GETS IN ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ SO I TURN ON THE LIGHT ♪
♪ I--I HELD HER HAND TOO TIGHT ♪
♪ TOO HARD TO MAKE IT RIGHT ♪
♪ SO I COULDN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT... ♪
ANGELA!
ANGELA, WAIT!
HEY, GRAFF, WANT TO PLAY?
SHUT UP.
YOU KNOW YOU LIKE HER.
WOULD IT KILL YOU TO ADMIT IT, MAYBE TREAT HER HALFWAY DECENT?
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, SHE DESERVES IT,
AND SHE'S NOT GOING TO WAIT AROUND FOR YOU FOREVER.
♪ I HOPE YOU KNOW I WOULD... ♪
MAN, THEY'RE, LIKE, WEIRD, YOU KNOW?
BOTH OF THEM.
♪ I HOPE YOU KNOW I WOULD ♪
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT SUNDAY NIGHT
THAT REALLY MAKES YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF,
ESPECIALLY IF YOU'VE JUST BEEN TOTALLY MADE A FOOL OF
BY THE ONLY PERSON YOU'LL EVER LOVE,
AND YOU HAVE A GEOMETRY MIDTERM MONDAY,
WHICH YOU STILL HAVEN'T STUDIED FOR
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T
BECAUSE BRIAN KRAKOW HAS YOUR TEXTBOOK,
AND YOU'RE TOO EMBARRASSED TO DEAL WITH IT.
YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S COMPLETELY FINISHED HER HOMEWORK,
WHICH IS JUST SO SIMPLE AND MINDLESS
A CHILD COULD DO IT.
MOM, DAD,I FINISHED MY REPORT ON CRUSTACEANS.
AND THAT CREEPY 60 MINUTES WATCH
THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR WHOLE LIFE TICKING AWAY.
DADDY'S AT HIS COOKING CLASS, HONEY!
AHH...
OH!
LOOK.
ANGELA, DID YOU SEE THE WONDERFUL REPORT
THAT DANIELLE DID?
MM-HMM.
WHAT CAN I SAY?
WHAT?
NOTHING.
THERE IS NOTHING TO SAY!
LISTEN, UM...
COULD I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
SURE.
IT'S ABOUT RISOTTO.
DON'T YOU HAVE YOUR GEOMETRY MIDTERM TOMORROW?
YEAH.
WELL, DO YOU FEEL PREPARED?
UH-HUH.
I THINK I'M GOING TO CALL BRIAN KRAKOW.
MAYBE WE CAN QUIZ EACH OTHER OR SOMETHING.
ANGELA, THAT'S A REALLY WONDERFUL IDEA.
REALLY.
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.
I'M SO GRATEFUL YOU DIDN'T INHERIT MY MATH BLOCK.
I WAS ALWAYS SO TERRIBLE IN MATH,
AND IT AFFECTED MY ENTIRE LIFE.
I WAS ALWAYS AFRAID I'D PASS IT DOWN TO YOUR GIRLS
LIKE A BAD CHROMOSOME.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T.
THANK GOD.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
I KNOW.
YOU'RE IN SOME DREAM WORLD THAT REVOLVES AROUND YOU.
YOU HAVE NO CONCEPT OF ANYBODY ELSE'S LIFE.
YOU COULDN'T EVEN IMAGINE THE PRESSURE I'M UNDER.
YOU THINK YOU'RE UNDER PRESSURE? THAT'S SO LAUGHABLE.
YOU'RE COMPLETELY RIGHT, O.K.?
COULD YOU EXPLAIN GEOMETRY TO ME ANYWAY?
ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE?
YES, I PROBABLY AM.
DO YOU THINK I CARE?
YOU COULDN'T CONCEIVE OF HOW MUCH STUDYING I HAVE TONIGHT.
HAVE YOU EVEN HEARD OF CALCULUS?
GEOMETRY IS A PAID VACATION COMPARED TO CALCULUS.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE IN ACCELERATED?
DO YOU REALIZE THE PRESSURE
WHEN IT'S ASSUMED YOU ALWAYS GET As?
HEY, BRIAN, PULL ANOTHER "A"?
THAT BRIAN, HE ALWAYS GETS AN "A."
YOU HAVE THE OPTION OF INSANITY.
I DO NOT!
AND THAT...
MAKES ME CRAZY!
HI.
I HAVE TO LEAVE.
UM, I'M LEAVING.
GOODBYE.
YOUR FRIEND KRAKOW LEAVE ALREADY?
OH, YOU'RE HOME!
I HAVE TO STUDY.
SO?
STEFFAN DIETER WON'T BE TEACHING FOR A WHILE.
HE'S IN SOME REHAB IN IDAHO GETTING DEGLAZED.
GRAHAM, I'M SORRY.
I'M TRULY SORRY.
FOR WHAT?
COME ON. DON'T DO THIS.
DON'T STAY IN THE CLASS JUST TO SPITE ME.
WHAT?
PLEASE. THIS WAS MY IDEA.
I FORCED YOU INTO IT.
OBVIOUSLY IT'S TURNED OUT TO BE
A TOTAL AND COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME,
SO I WAS WRONG, O.K.?
I LEARNED MY LESSON.
O.K., JUST QUIT THE WRETCHED CLASS.
I PROMISE I'LL NEVER SUGGEST TAKING ANOTHER CLASS
AS LONG AS EITHER OF US LIVE.
THEY WANT ME TO TEACH THE CLASS.
WHAT?
ARE YOU KIDDING OR--
WE WERE ALL JUST SITTING THERE.
IT'S BECOMING NIGHTMARISHLY CLEAR HE'S NOT SHOWING AGAIN.
I'M THINKING, "THIS HAS BEEN
THE STUPIDEST WEEK OF MY LIFE."
AND OF COURSE THIS WOMAN--
THE LOUD, OBNOXIOUS ONE?
SHE'S GOING ON AND ON
ABOUT TRYING TO MAKE RISOTTO FOR HER FIANCÉ
AND IT WAS A DISASTER.
I STARTED TELLING HER WHY.
PRETTY SOON EVERYONE'S ASKING QUESTIONS
AND WRITING DOWN WHAT I'M SAYING.
SUDDENLY THIS WOMAN SAYS,
"YOU'RE SO MUCH EASIER TO FOLLOW THAN STEFFAN DIETER.
YOU SHOULD TEACH THIS CLASS."
I WAITED FOR EVERYONE TO LAUGH,
AND, YOU KNOW, NO ONE LAUGHED.
WELL, THAT'S...
THAT'S WONDERFUL!
WHY DO YOU SOUND LIKE THAT?
LIKE WHAT?
NO. NO. I-- IT'S WONDERFUL!
I'M JUST SURPRISED.
CAN'T I BE SURPRISED?
AREN'T YOU SURPRISED?
YEAH.
VERY.
YEAH.
I'M GOING TO DO IT, THOUGH.
I JUST, UH...
I WOULDN'T HAVE MINDED
IF ONE OF US WASN'T QUITE SO SURPRISED.
HUH.
THE TRULY FRIGHTENING THING
IS THAT EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED,
JORDAN CATALANO LEFT A NOTE IN MY LOCKER
TO MEET HIM IN THE BOILER ROOM.
THE NAUSEATING PART IS THAT I WENT.
DON'T SAY HELLO OR ANYTHING.
HELLO.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I CAME HERE.
WHY DID YOU ASK ME TO COME HERE?
WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?
LIKE WHAT?
LIKE HOW YOU ARE.
SO LEAVE.
ADMIT IT FIRST.
ADMIT WHAT?
THAT ALL OF THIS HAPPENED,
THAT YOU HAVE EMOTIONS.
THAT YOU CAN'T, LIKE, TREAT ME ONE WAY
IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS,
AND THE NEXT MINUTE LEAVE ME SOME NOTE.
AND, BY THE WAY,
I SPELL MY NAME WITH ONE "L."
"MY MISTRESS' EYES ARE NOTHING LIKE THE SUN.
"CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS' RED.
"IF SNOW BE WHITE,
"WHY, THEN HER *** ARE DUN.
"IF HAIR BE WIRES,
"BLACK WIRES GROW ON HER HEAD.
"I HAVE SEEN ROSES DAMASK'D, RED AND WHITE,
"BUT NO SUCH ROSES SEE I IN HER CHEEKS,
"AND IN SOME PERFUMES IS THERE MORE DELIGHT
"THAN IN THE BREATH THAT FROM MY MISTRESS REEKS.
"I LOVE TO HEAR HER SPEAK,
"YET WELL I KNOW
"THAT MUSIC HATH A FAR MORE PLEASING SOUND.
"I GRANT I NEVER SAW A GODDESS GO.
"MY MISTRESS, WHEN SHE WALKS,
"TREADS ON THE GROUND,
"AND YET, BY HEAVEN,
"I THINK MY LOVE AS RARE
AS ANY SHE BELIED WITH FALSE COMPARE."
WHAT KIND OF GIRL
IS SHAKESPEARE DESCRIBING HERE?
IS SHE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL?
NO.
IS SHE A GODDESS?
HMM?
PHYSICALLY PERFECT?
THE KIND OF GIRL WHO STOPS TRAFFIC
WHEN SHE WALKS DOWN THE STREET?
NO.
SO HE'S NOT IN LOVE WITH HER?
YEAH...
HE IS.
AND WHY IS THAT?
WHY IS HE IN LOVE WITH HER?
WHAT IS IT?
WHAT IS IT?
WHAT IS IT ABOUT HER?
THAT SHE'S NOT JUST A FANTASY.
SHE'S GOT, LIKE...
FLAWS.
SHE'S REAL.
THANK YOU.
PLEASE, GOD, I KNOW I'M CUTTING ENGLISH
AND I'VE DONE A MILLION OTHER TERRIBLE THINGS,
INCLUDING NOT EVEN COMPLETELY BELIEVING IN YOU,
BUT PLEASE,
PLEASE HELP ME TO PASS THIS MIDTERM.
OH, GOD.
WHO AM I KIDDING?
IT'S TOO LATE. IT'S OVER.
YOU HAVE MISS LERNER, RIGHT?
FOR GEOMETRY.
SO?
NOTHING. I JUST DIDN'T STUDY AT ALL.
ME NEITHER.
BUT I REALLY NEED IT.
I MIGHT JUST SKIP THE MIDTERM.
I MEAN, I'M GOING TO FLUNK IT ANYWAY.
I JUST MAY SKIP IT MYSELF.
I'M SICK OF BEING THE LITTLE SCHOOLGIRL.
IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT.
WHY DID I LET THIS HAPPEN?
I'VE TOTALLY BLOWN IT.
WHY DOES HE HAVE, LIKE, THIS POWER OVER ME?
I HAVEN'T CUT A MIDTERM IN A REAL LONG TIME.
[BELL RINGS]
IF THE TWO PARALLEL LINES ARE CUT BY A TRANSVERSAL,
THEN WHAT?
THE ANGLES ARE CONGRUENT.
THAT'S IT.
THAT WAS THE BELL.
WE'D BETTER GET OUT OF HERE.
WE SHOULD TAKE THE TEST.
DID YOU HEAR?
THE COPY MACHINE ATE OUR GEOMETRY MIDTERM.
IT'S BEEN POSTPONED TILL TOMORROW.
AAH!
AAH!
O.K. SO LERNER'S HAVING ANOTHER REVIEW SESSION
THIS AFTERNOON.
OH. WELL, I'LL DEFINITELY BE THERE.
NOT ME.
I DON'T NEED IT.
EH!
RAYANNE.
GET OVER HERE.
ENRIQUE.
LATER.
RAYANNE, WAIT.
I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU.
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
PARDON?
THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I'M GOING TO DO.
I'M NOT THE TYPE WHO JOINS THINGS, O.K.?
I'M REALLY SORRY, BUT THAT'S NOT O.K.
WHAT?
I'M A TEACHER.
HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO REACT
TO THAT RIDICULOUS STATEMENT?
WHO ARE YOU, GROUCHO MARX?
YOU'D NEVER BELONG TO ANY CLUB
THAT WOULD HAVE YOU AS A MEMBER?
WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK?
I'M NOT COOL ENOUGH?
DON'T LET THAT YOUR TEACHER'S A DORK
STOP YOU FROM FULFILLING YOUR POTENTIAL.
JUST PRETEND THAT I'M A TRACK COACH.
I HAPPEN TO NOTICE YOU CAN RUN FAST.
I NEED YOU ON MY TEAM.
IT'S THAT SIMPLE, ENRIQUE.
STOP CALLING ME THAT.
SORRY. I KEEP FORGETTING.
IT'S JUST--
GEE ***, IT'S SUCH A GREAT NAME.
WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL,
I HATED MY NAME. I HATED IT.
YEAH.
I DON'T HATE MY NAME.
I JUST...
GOOD. I'M REALLY GLAD.
NOBODY SHOULD...
HATE WHO THEY ARE.
♪ I--I CLOSE MY DOOR AT NIGHT ♪
♪ BUT SHE GETS IN ALL RIGHT ♪
♪ SO I TURN ON THE LIGHT ♪
♪ I--I HELD HER HAND TOO TIGHT ♪
♪ TOO HARD TO MAKE IT RIGHT ♪
♪ SO I COULD SLEEP AT NIGHT ♪
♪ IF I COULD HOLD THEM IN MY HAND ♪
♪ I'D MAKE THEM UNDERSTAND ♪
♪ I'M NOT A HAUNTED MAN ♪
♪ I'M NOT A THOUGHTLESS GUY... ♪
CAN WE...
LIKE, GO SOMEWHERE?
SURE.
♪ I HOPE YOU KNOW I WOULD ♪
♪ I'D DO IT IF I COULD ♪
♪ I HOPE YOU KNOW I WOULD ♪
ANGELA, WAIT.
DON'T FORGET... THE GEOMETRY REVIEW.
FORGET IT.
SHE ALREADY DID.
♪ I'D DO IT IF I COULD ♪
♪ I HOPE YOU KNOW I WOULD ♪