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((GGRRRR))
((AAAARRRR))
Girl: *** freaks!
Dracula: Stop, stop! Cut, cut, cut, cut!
Royce: Jason, baby,
We've built pyramids together but we need
a sphinx right now.
Tell me you've got something.
Jason: Royce,
I don't understand your outright refusal
at a new Candyman reboot. This is Obama's America! It's a slam dunk!
Royce: It smacks of desperation, Jason. Do I look like a desperate man?
Jason: We've got Pumpkinhead.
***' Pinhead's always looking for work!
Royce: Enough with your 'mans' and 'heads'. We need something fresh!
Listen, I had this intern bring in this character called Dracula to me the other day.
Sounded very intriguing. You know anything about him?
Jason: Only that he scared my great-grandpa!
Look, Royce,
audiences
they gave up on that *** a long time ago.
Now we have proven the three Bs, they work.
Royce: Who said anything about getting rid of the three Bs?
Any movie, regardless of content, can be made better with the inclusion of ***.
Sophie's Choice is a good movie, but Sophie's Choice with ***?
A landmark of cinema!
Now we need more original ideas, Jason.
And in order to do that I want to go back deeper into the vault.
Jason: I have a lot of respect for you, Royce.
I really do.
And I wasn't going to bring this up, but
I think I detect a little bit of racism in your denial of a new Candyman franchise.
Royce: That's ***,
Jason,
I just greenlit Tyler Perry's Chinatown,
for ***'s sake.
Jason: I'm just saying give the brother a break! Royce: I'm not opposed to your idea but I
still want to talk about this
Dracula fellow
and any other dusty old corpse I can squeeze a ***' buck out of.
This ain't no charity here.
Tyler Perry ain't cheap.
Frankenstein: Excellent cinematography, Wolfman.
Wolfman: Thanks.
Point and shoot, really.
Phantom: I can't wait until you're out in front of the camera, Wolfie.
Dracula: Yeah, maybe you can be the next lucky victim
of Mary Poppins.
Mummy: I love you guys, man.
This ***
was real.
This *** was tight!
Dracula: Guys, it was an adequate scare at best. Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Frankenstein: Just because you ended up on the wrong end of a parasol
doesn't mean we were not successful.
Our plan worked to a tee!
Mummy: Drac got toted!
Wolfman: So what's our next move?
Mummy: Hey, Wolfie, you leave that to me.
Frankenstein: You're not capable of using a urinal right now.
Let alone
managing our careers.
Mummy: You guys just don't
get it do ya?
The is a world wide web out there
man, a WORLD!
It's all online man.
Facebook,
Twitter, YouTube.
All that ***, man.
We can get our names out there
and not even have to put on pants, man!
Wolfman: Ah, the Donald Duck approach.
Dracula: Wait, you can do all that?
Mummy: Hell yeah, what you think?
Look, I can do it all at school
when those little pukes are all out playing dodgeball.
Frankenstein: I believe it would be prudent
to get our names out there.
I say
get on the trolley, Mummy!
Dracula: You know, if we're all about getting our names out there
maybe this year I should go to VampFest.
Wolfman: VampFest?
Dracula: Yeah, I get a flyer for it every year but I usually toss it.
Maybe I should go this year and represent the old school.
Frankenstein: I have a sabbatical next week I could accompany you if you would desire.
Dracula: Definitely. I could use someone to help fend of the weirdos.
Jason: Mike, we've hit a snag.
Michael Myers: I'm not a fan of snags, Jason.
Jason: Royce is on to the fogies.
He's been tipped off to their existence.
Michael Myers: Are they any closer to signing with us?
I see. We need to bring them into the fold. And soon.
If Royce is looking to mine those old shafts, then we need to be the ones hauling out the gold. Not those
ghouls.
Michael Myers: I hear the scallops here are exquisite.