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Hi. I'm Kahle McCann of the Daily News Weekly Today.
And I'm Dan Prevette of the '88 Chevy Nova parked down the street.
And this is I Hate It!
The show where we hate movies, so you don't have to.
Today we'll be talking about RIPD. Or "Really Impotent Pile of Doody."
Am I right, Dan?
In this film, we find that Van Wilder and The Dude-
Dan. Am I right?
Yes, Kahle. Fine.
Basically, this gritty drama deals with the real life consequences
of a salvia trip gone entirely as expected.
Am I right?
Kahle. Stop. Stop it.
Basically, a bunch of ghost cops have to prevent the dead from returning to the living.
So Kahle, let's talk about how much you hated it.
OK-
What you're trying to say, and it's a really brilliant point, is that ghosts are not real.
Nope, I wasn't trying to say that stupid thing.
What I was going to say-
Was the Jesus thing.
-was where was Jesus in this movie?
What are you trying to say, RIPD? Was Jesus on parole?
And he's off.
Was he one of the most successful jailbreakers in RIPD history?
Did he die and then three days later emerge to freedom on the other side like Andy Dufresne?
I hated that movie.
Because if so, that's incredibly offensive.
And super awesome.
You have a troubling belief system, Kahle.
My biggest problem with the movie is that part way through we find that while
we, the audience, have been seeing Rooster Cogburn and The Green Lantern,
people in the movie are seeing a hot blonde chick and one of the ancestors Mulan probably prayed to.
Don't be ridiculous, Dan. Mulan was a godless ***.
So my issue is... haven't we seen enough of these stars?
Isn't it time to let some new up and comers have a shot at the limelight?
Maybe give a devastatingly handsome actor and a Kahle a chance to shine?
Right Kahle?
I'm dead inside!
For that reason, I give it four hate thumbs down.
And I give it a Mulan.
Kahle, is this because I'm dating an Asian woman?
And she used to date you?
And her name is Mulan?
Am I right?