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In high school I was closeted
Well, wouldn't you be too?
'Cause kids can be such dicks sometimes
Well, we all know it's true
So when I came to college
it just felt like breaking free
I knew it was my chance to be the guy I want to be
Plus, it was getting obvious
I mean, just look at me
It's been a pleasure, Charlie
Hope things work out for you
We're sorry that we have to go so soon
My parents always had their troubles
right there from the start
But in my first few months here
things completely fell apart
They started fighting constantly
Just screaming till they're hoarse
And almost unavoidably, they're getting a divorce
So now I'm headed home
to try and be a calming force
It's been a pleasure, Charlie
Hope things work out for you
We're sorry that we have to go so soon
I never saw myself as quite the military type
I used to watch those TV ads
and think that they were tripe
But call it patriotism, call it pure stupidity
I somehow felt this sense of duty calling out to me
So I'm deferring school a while
to join the military
It's been a pleasure, Charlie
Hope things work out for you
We're sorry that we have to go so soon
You were right, there's tons of us
We've only scraped the surface
And aren't all these versions of us making you feel nervous?
'Cause you or I could each be them
but for a twist of fate
Well, I for one am hoping no more Charlies lie in wait