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It was a Saturday night. It was eleven p.m.
I was looking for girls. You were looking for men.
I saw you there, with your bleach blond hair.
Cute as a button, yeah.
You saw me checking you out like a library book.
You were due for a date, so I gave you a look.
She spoke like an angel, with finesse and grace. She said,
"OMG! Like, where's my mace?"
And I knew from that moment that I was in love.
That girl had to be sent from up above!
Sorority girl, you rock my world.
You're sending my world into motion.
And by motion, I mean, how fast you speak.
Which no one can understand.
Sorority girl, with eyes like pearls.
Glimmering like a dear in the headlights.
May you always make me smile.
Sorority girl!
In a stroke of fate, we met each other.
Your makeup was caked like a midnight lover.
But I didn't care, with your bleach blond hair.
Cute as a button, yeah.
Those greek little handbags that she carries around.
24/7 she ain't messing around.
I asked her her name, my girlfriend to be, she said,
You're not Greek, so don't talk to me.
So I pondered and wondered. What was I to do?
But to travel to Greece so I could talk to you!
Ooh hoo.
Sorority Girl, I'll travel the world.
Even to places that are poor!
I'll do it for you, my Honey Boo Boo.
I'll do it all for you.
Sorority girl, with fake eyelashes curled.
Prettier than all of the stars in the sky.
May you always make me smile.
Sorority girl!
I returned from Greece. Gyros in hand.
I offered you one, but you didn't understand.
She said, "Are these Jewish?"
Well I had to do something, no matter the cost.
I had to do something, or all hope was lost!
So I said, "Girl I want you to:"
Gamma your beta.
From alpha to zeta.
Like the Nile's delta, I'm as strong as an alpha!
I'll kappa the guys who would be so unwise.
To flirt an iota, I'd fizz like soda.
So eta your gyro, cause I am your hero!
She said, "No. I have a boyfriend."
"Sorry if I led you on."
Wait a minute.
A boyfriend?
Huh.
Boyfriends are like goldfish.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
They don't really matter.
Oh!
Ohh!
Ohhh!
Sorority girl!