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♪♪ [ Humming ]
♪ You take the good You take the bad ♪
♪ You take 'em both and there you have ♪
♪ The facts of life The facts of life ♪
♪ There's a time you gotta go and show ♪
♪ You're growing Now you know about ♪♪
♪ The facts of life The facts of life ♪
♪ When the world never seems ♪
p ms ♪
♪ And suddenly you're finding out ♪
♪ The facts of life are all about you ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ It takes a lot to get 'em right ♪
arning ♪
f life ♪♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪♪
[ Chattering ]
Girls, can you guess why they call these parties "mixers"?
- We're mixing, Mrs. Garrett. - Sure you are-- with each other.
seen each other
and we got a lot of catching up to do.
Look, kids. Mixing's easy.
All you have to do is walk up to a boy...
and start a simple conversation.
"Hi. I'm Edna. And who might you be?"
I might be Tatum O'Neal, if I was lucky.
mor on me,
when you could be sharing it...
with them.
She's right, Nat.
That's the spirit.
Now, go on. Be sociable.
Go on.
[ Clears Throat ] Shall we take a shot at it, Nat?
I don't know. It looks much easier in Teen magazine.
What's the matter? You never have trouble talking to people.
I know I'm terrific in groups, but one on one?
- Especially with a boy. - That's silly.
Uh, why don't you go over and talk to,
uh, him.
Maybe he's waiting for somebody.
Maybe he's waiting for you.
u?
Do you get a finder's fee or something?
[ Mouths Words ]
Hello.
You know, you're one lucky guy.
The guy I was supposed to talk to was called away on an emergency.
His pet snake had a heart attack.
The vet thinks it's stress, but I think it's cholesterol.
Hi. I'm Natalie Green.
Hi. Uh-- Uh, I'm Neil Richards.
I'm a sophomore at Bates.
No! I thought you were here to check the gas meter.
Just a little joke there,
You've got a real good sense of humor.
So do you.
But I haven't said anything funny.
Oh, you will. not today, maybe tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
What time?
Well, uh, maybe we could study together, or--
or something.
Terrific.
You know, you're different than most of these girls.
Thank you.
All they care about is how they look,
t all.
I-I didn't-- I didn't mean it that way.
Uh, look,
how about meeting me at the library tomorrow at 4:00?
After class, but before cocktails, right?
Right. You got it.
See you later.
s
Toot
Details, Nat. I want details.
Tootie, you won't believe this.
But I think I just swept someone off his feet.
?
What if something happened to her?
Maybe she fell off one of those rolling ladders,
and she's lying there buried lete works
Hi.
Natalie, you're back.
How was it? Are you in love?
Are you going steady? Are you engaged?
Did you argue? Was there another woman?
Did he break if off, or did you?
Oh, Natalie, I'm so sorry, but never mind.
You'll find somebody else.
Tootie, stick a sock in it.
Come on, Natalie. Tell us everything.
Wait sit
Come on. Right here.
Well-- [ Clears Throat ]
it was just like in the movies.
We met at the library.
He picked out a private table in the corner.
We opened our algebra books,
and before I knew it,
What?
His algebra book was touching
lgebra book.
ere
in front of everybody.
And then-- [ Clears Throat ]
And then it happened. Neil asked me out.
Your first real date!
Congratulations.
That's terrific.
How do you feel?
- Nauseous. - Why?
Studying in the library's easy.
me out
go-to-the-movies, have-a-hamburger,
walk-home-through-the-park date.
Finally, something exciting to put in your diary.
Yeah some
rs.
I really like him,
but what are we gonna talk about for four hours?
Don't worry about it.
You can't talk in the movies, and there's two hours right th
Can't talk when you go to eat. You're gonna be chewin'.
And you won't be talking in the park.
out for muggers.
Thanks for the help, you guys, but face it--
I'm doomed.
Come on, Natalie.
Natalie, Natalie, Natalie, Natalie, Natalie.
All is not lost.
You just happen to be rooming with the one person...
who can teach you everything you need to know...
about conversation, charm and popularity.
Thanks, Blair. Now,
as I see it, there's no secret to a successful date.
It just needs--
Puh-lease.
To you, a successful date is arm wrestling at Shakey's.
Just remember.
I haven't been dateless since 1979.
Can anyone else in this room make that claim?
Blair, help me, please.
Just do as I say, and Neil will be putty in your hands.
Have we ever discussed--
Whoops.
Oh.
Hi, girls.
Hey, Mrs. G. What's happening?
Well, I've been thinking of changing my profession...
from school nutritionist to answering service.
I've been taking phone messages from boys...
all day long.
Here. These are for you--
Thank you.
Natalie.
Neil called. That's sweet.
I guess he enjoyed studying with you yesterday.
called?
Henry?
Brian?
Are you sure they weren't asking for Blair?
Yeah. Maybe you misunderstood.
"Blair." "Natalie."
No, they don't sound
Besides, they were all very specific.
Tom wanted to study with Natalie tomorrow,
Henry wants help with Algebra Thursday,
He'll take any time you have left.
[ Phone Ringing ]
Well
I've worn a path. [ Laughs ]
I don't believe it. What am I gonna do?
I don't have that much homework.
Hey, relax. I'll give you mine.
- Blair, it's for you. - Well. [ Chuckles ]
That's more like it.
- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
Hello. Oh! Hello, Johnny.
Did you miss me as much as I missed you?
Natalie?
What about Natalie?
What about me?
Shh!
Natalie, I'm trying to listen.
Oh, he did?
He did?
He didn't.
Well, thanks a lot for telling me, Johnny.
Yeah. Bye.
What's up, Blair?
I don't know how to say t
Blair, what is going on?
The reason Natalie's been dates...
is because, well--
well, Neil's been saying she's--
she's--
eat in algebra?
No.
It was more like, "real easy to get along with,"
if you know what I mean.
Real easy.
You mean he's saying that I--
That he--
That we--
How could he say that?
I guess he just opened his big mouth.
And I thought Neil was such a nice kid.
I don't believe he'd do that to me.
Where I come from, we get your brother to break both his legs.
Girls, physical violence is not the solution.
Mrs. Garrett, a girl's gotta protect her reputation.
She's right.
Yeah.
I'm ruined. I'll never be able to show my face around here again.
s?
Natalie, you gotta set the record straight.
Give Neil a piece of your mind, and tell him and those other boys...
you don't ever want to see them again.
Mrs. Garrett, you're making a very good case for the convent.
Don't you worry, Natalie. There'll be lots of other boys--
so many they'll have to take a number.
You know, when you stop to think about this whole thing--
- [ Chuckles ] it is kind of silly. - What do you mean?
I mean, anyone who knows you isn't gonna believe it for a minute.
You really think so?
Well, of course.
You as a sex symbol.
Sex symbol. That is funny!
Loni Anderson, watch it!
Yes, yes!
[ Phone Ringing ]
I suppose it is kind of silly.
Silly? It's hysterical.
It's ludicrous.
It's not that funny.
Natalie,
It's Neil. Tell him off, Nat.
Yeah. Blast him good.
And don't mince words.
Tell Neil you wouldn't go out with him Saturday night
[ Snickering ]
Well, you know what I mean.
Hello. Hi, Neil.
Saturday night? Sure, we're still on.
7:00's fine.
See you
Natalie, what are you doing?
u gone crazy?
No. I've come to my senses.
Everybody thinks this is so funny.
Well, I'm gonna make believers out of all of you.
From now on it's, "Good-bye, Natalie. Hello, Hot Lips."
[ Mouths Words ]
It's true. Natalie's got a date with Neil tomorrow night.
I guess Saturday night isn't the loneliest night of the week...
for girls like Natalie.
At first I didn't believe it, but Roger swears...
boy at Bates te
Of course they are.
You know what they're saying about Natalie.
What are they saying about Natalie?
on, Tootie.
Natalie's getting a worse reputation than "Home Run" Helen.
Hey, watch your mouth. Natalie's our friend.
I wouldn't brag about it
-
I heard she went out with Tom on Tuesday and Henry on Wednesday.
And she was with Brian yesterday.
Those were just study dates in the afternoon.
night.
ay that.
Natalie's pure as the driven snow.
Hot stuff comin'.
Natalie, I don't understand you.
With Neil soiling your good name,
why did you make those study dates with the other boys?
It's more fun than studying alone.
Things are not going well here.
They're dragging your name through the gutter.
I think I'm gonna have to hit somebody.
Who asked you to defend my honor?
think I'm gonna hit you.
Oh, Natalie, uh,
I hear you've got a hot date with Neil tomorrow night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Thanks, Nancy. That gives me a lot of leeway.
Look who's talking!
Natalie, tell them you're not doing anything wrong.
Yes, Natalie Tell us you' doing anythi
Let me put it this way.
[ Tootie ] Don't pay any attention to those jerks.
Natalie Green the make-out queen.
Well, I love it.
You know, she should be rooming with "Home Run" Helen.
Shh!
Can I take your tray, Helen?
Thanks.
- Can I ask you a question? - Yeah, sure.
- Does it bother you when they call you "Home Run" Helen? - Not anymore.
Can I ask you another question?
What does it mean l you
Just what you think it means.
Hey, don't let those girls get to you.
They're just jealous.
Don't you mind that they don't want to be your friends?
?
I may not have a lot of friends,
but I have a lot of company.
Can I ask you a question?
Sure.
Why do you... do it?
Well,
for the same reason you...
do it.
- But you're so popular. - Well, you're popular too.
busy.
See ya later.
Bye.
Make way for the trash.
Natalie, you've gotta stop talking like that.
Look, Nat, I don't know what you're trying to prove,
but people are starting to believe those rumors about you.
Well, maybe the rumors are true.
Maybe it's not so impossible...
reen
We never said it was impossible.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
I believe you said it was "funny."
"Hysterical."
And I believe "ludicrous" was the word
air.
ow.
girls
is
Mrs. Garrett, I don't want to talk to you now.
Good. I'll do all the talking.
Nat-- Nat--
Natalie?
I know what you've been doing.
I haven't been doing anything.
I know that too.
But, for the past few days,
you've been letting people believe that you have--
encouraging them to believe it.
Now I know why.
Are you that mad at the girls?
They laughed at me, Mrs. Garrett.
They couldn't believe I could be popular with boys.
No, no. They couldn't believe...
that you would do what Neil said you were doing...
to be popular with the boys.
I think there's a subtle difference there.
I think there's a world of difference there.
Natalie, you're gonna have a lot of choices in your life,
but you're never gonna be happy with the ones you make out of spite.
[ Door Opens ]
Natalie, Neil's downstairs. He wants to see you.
Our date's not until tomorrow night.
I better go see what he wants.
Natalie, I don't know if all those rumors...
are true or not, and I don't care.
You're still my best friend.
Spill it.
What do you want to talk to Natalie about?
I don't have to tell you.
Oh, I think it's a good idea.
Just think of me as one of the guys--
Natalie's brother.
What are you talking about?
Let me explain.
If you don't leave
I'm going to let her...
break both of your legs.
[ Snapping Sound ]
I am gonna leave her alone.
Before or after your date?
I'm our
- Why? - 'Cause he likes to walk.
Everyone's talking your hot dates
you've got a bad reputation.
I didn't do anything with those guys.
That's not what I heard.
That's not what I heard.
Well--
Yeah.
You been telling everyone you hit a home run,
when you never even got to first base.
Y-You don't understand.
I-I was under a lot of pressure.
I-It was my first date, and the guys were grilling me,
and you know how it is.
No, we don't.
How is it?
I'd like to know too.
I-I wanted the guys to think I was cool
so, uh, I embellished.
Lied
ack
s.
The same reason you did, twerp.
Yeah. How would it look if they came back with nothin',
after a nerd like you says he hit a homer?
That's true.
But I was protecting n.
What abo
on?
All my life I've been told to be a good girl.
It was easy to do. Up until now, I never had a date.
Now, after one-- one innocent trip to the library--
all those years of hard work go down the tubes.
Why? I'll tell you why.
Because you spent those same years being told,
"You gotta make out. Get a rep as a ladies' man."
I'm a victim of macho malpractice.
I think I have to sit down.
Well, you certainly told him.
Shee! Yeah. You wanna help me with my speech...
on Hitler's rise to power?
Natalie? You're right.
It was a rotten thing to do.
I un were
through.
You do?
In a way, I was going through the same thing.
I was so worried about the other girls...
thinking I couldn't be popular with the boys...
that I went out with anybody,
no matter who asked me or why.
I-I guess we were both doing the same thing.
It's what Teen magazine calls "reactin pressur
I-I really do think you're a great girl.
Yeah?
Yeah. Didn't we enjoy being with each other?
Yeah.
Well, what do you say we just forgive and forget?
No.
What do you mean, "No"?
I mean, "No." Saying you're sorry isn't enough, Neil.
- What do you want me to do? - How about leaving town?
How about two dozen roses and a strand of pearls?
Listen, Neil, it didn't take you long to tell those lies.
Let's see how long it takes you to "untell" them.
Oh, Natalie. That'd be so humiliating for me.
I know, live thr
I guess I owe it to you.
All right. I will.
And Natalie? I'm sorry.
[ Door Opens ]
[ Door Closes ]
Natalie, I couldn't have handled that better myself.
Well, not much better.
Uh, I would have leaned on him a little more.
But you did okay.
You know,
I can't wait till he's told everybody the truth...
and comes crawling back to me on his hands and knees.
'Cause then I can go out with him again.
♪ You'll avoid a lot of damage ♪
♪
♪ The facts of life They shed a lotta light ♪
♪ If you hear 'em from your brother ♪
♪ Better clear 'em with your mother ♪
♪♪ Better get 'em right Call her late at night ♪
♪♪ You got the future in the palm of your hand ♪
♪ All you gotta do to get you through is understand ♪
♪ You think you'd rather do without ♪
♪ You'll never make it through without the truth ♪
♪♪ The facts of life are all about you ♪♪