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ERICA: How's the knot on the head, loser?
SIMON: How'd the burning taste?
VINCENT: You seriously couldn't do any better than this?
THE LITIGATOR: Yeah... I *could've* gotten better stuff...
[Music]
THE LITIGATOR: I brought the two of you here, to celebrate the end of very...
*very* long lives you and your master were able to have at the expense of humanity.
ERICA: We survived every rampage "The Raging Negotiator" threw at us back in Europe.
Every. One.
You think you clowns offer some challenge onto that?
THE LITIGATOR: That's your problem.
You think you've won, but you haven't even started the battle.
VINCENT: Are you seriously willing to just let "The Murderous Lifesaver" rumble around destroying and killing everything, just to get to us?
THE LITIGATOR: Absolutely.
SIMON: About that.
Why exactly are we willing to do that, again?
THE LITIGATOR: Because evil like their's, can only be wiped out all at once.
They use intimacy as a weapon. They call us "prey", and "food".
And they kill their own children if it threatens their power.
They sold their souls to the darkness, but they never paid the price!
Until now.
Mark your calendars, parasites.
Your whole kingdom will fall in four days.
I'll fiddle...
...you burn.
SIMON: Did you just call yourself Nero?
(whispers)
ERICA: Uhhh...it's 2 days.
VINCENT: Um. Is it?
THE LITIGATOR: No. I...it...It's four. The countdown is a little over 4 days.
ERICA: No, it's a little over 2 days. I'm pretty sure.
VINCENT: Yeah...I don't think so, Erica. I spent some of my undercover time working with "Vampire Sciences" on maintaing their "Dracula Clock"...
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's four days.
ERICA: No. Way. It's 17 days, after the full moon, when the frogs at Ghalakan Lake, near Khyruda Mountain,
croak in a perfect A-minor 7th chord. ...idiots.
SIMON: Are...you...seriously arguing over when "The Dracula" is coming back?
THE LITIGATOR: No, we're not. It's 4 days.
Wives tales, and shoddy quatrains from Nostradamus' little brother Shnoztradamus, do not make for accurate predictors of events!
VINCENT: I can't stand it, but he's right. I mean, this is...actual science we're...
Come to think of it...I remember those frogs because I thought they were croaking their tone a little too...
ERICA: Early perhaps? Eh, Mr. Science and Mr. Vampire Science?
They called him Shnoztradamus because the nose, knows.
VINCENT: Well, damn! Now I don't know whose right.
That's embarrassing.
THE LITIGATOR: That's ridiculous! ...We have the best minds in vampire hunting science on this,
and he has some Absinthe-swilling hobo in a crap hat from the 1500's!!
It's four days!
VINCENT: Come to think of it, it could be 2 days. ...I just don't think so. I'm gonna have to look into it, now.
SIMON: You know, that'd probably be a good idea:
you know, maybe hold off on the fiddling, for a little bit. Mr. Nero...
even though, actually, he would've used a Lyre,
SIMON: Because
THE LITIGATOR: It's four days!! FOUR! It's FOUR!
SIMON: Fiddles...
SIMON: Didn't...
SIMON: Exist.
ERICA: I don't think so buddy. I think the whuppins coming in 2 days...
and if no one is near The First Hunter when he awakes, no-one becomes his Harbinger.
SIMON: What happens without a Harbinger?
THE LITIGATOR: That doesn't matter! Because it's 4 days, and we'll be ready!
VINCENT: It's in 4 days. ...I know it is. I...
I'm pretty sure?
SIMON: You're "pretty" sure? Question mark?
ERICA: Well, I'll see you guys in 2 days, then.
Both of your apparently.
SIMON: I'm here right now, Erica!
ERICA: Sorry, kid. Your experience must be this tall to ride the ride.
SIMON: ...***.
VINCENT: ***? What happened to the English Language? Seriously!
SIMON: It got a look at the two of you, and decided it needed some better adjectives.
ERICA: Two days...Mr. Science and Mr. Vampire Science. Two days...
I bet money on that ***.
THE LITIGATOR: This is crap. You're an idiot, and you're an idiot! You're BOTH idiots! We're done here!
THE LITIGATOR: ...I need to call Vampire Sciences.
SIMON: That's TOTALLY not what I want to hear right now!