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"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to 'Efectivament.' We have here with us Josep Maria Minguella.
"Good evening, Josep Maria." "Good evening, man.
Listen, have I ever told you that I signed Messi's contract on a napkin?" "15,500 times, Josep Maria. But today we're gonna analyze Barça's play.
As you know so much about football, can you tell us...
What the *** is wrong with Barça, huh?!"
"Well, the answer is very easy." "Really?" "Yes: we don't have Stoichkov."
"Fine. Thanks, Josep Maria." "Don't mention it."
"I don't know why I haven't called Salinas... What is clear, ladies and gentlemen, is that Barça are not in good shape.
That's why we wanna make an appeal.
(WANTED) Barça's good play is missing.
Last seen in Málaga.
Since then, it's been seen here and there.
But not true at all. And there're only nine days left to face Milan!"
"Listen, if someone finds the defense, bring it as well, because I have some partners for playing dominoes that defend better than Barça players."
"It was a penalty! It was a penalty! It was a penalty...!"
"But where is he going? Well, as he's brought up the subject... Josep Maria, was it a penalty?"
"I don't know, I was playing dominoes. 4 p.m. is not a good time to play a game."
"You're absolutely right. Let's listen to what the man who made the penalti, Sergio Ramos, said after the game. Look."
"A train leaves Bilbao travelling at 100 kph, and another train leaves Barcelona at 120 kph. Which one will get the Bernabéu first?
"Benzema, because he travels at 216 kph.
Don't you find it funny? Well, cops either!"
"Sergio, congratulations." "Thank you very much. Olé, olé, olé!
And what's more, I've scored, just so you don't say my head is just for show." "Yes, Sergio, but was it penalty?"
"Well, as Hamster said, 'Penalty, or not penalty: that is the question.'"
"But did you make contact?" "I don't know, guy, I should watch it."
"To know if we has falling down after contact." "No, to know if I was there or not."
"What a cheek! A cheek bigger than Reiziger's..." "Quite so!
But the penalty is not an excuse; there's something wrong.
We've made a review of Roura's spell as Barça coach and this, ladies and gentlemen, is the result.
Look."