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Thank you so much, Mr. Bowie - you have no idea how much that means to me.
I've been practicing a lot, and I was a little nervous, to be honest...
Do I want to go out with you?
Oh my god, I'd be so happy to.
I've been meaning to tell you for such a long time -
Marry you?!
Wow, Mr. Bowie, you sure work fast...
We don't even know each other that well - well, I know you, of course, but -
Ok, ok, if you really want, I'll sing one more. Just let me get ready.
Here it goes:
and
a film by Tina Poglajen
Marry me, David Bowie!
Liza!
Hey Meri, practicing again?
Yes, it's very important that I do.
I won't bother you then.
No, you can bother me! What are the tomatoes for?
I'm making gazpacho for Franc. He loves it so much.
You know, he's a painter. An artist.
He's always painting, or drawing
- no time for anything else.
Yeah? Well he should make time for a pretty girl like you.
Oh well...
Liza!
That's me.
Have you listened to my tape?
What tape?
The Bowie tape I made you. You said you'd listen at home so you can focus better.
Sorry, I haven't had the time yet.
Look who's here. Meri! Meri Bowie! Good morning.
Hi, Juš.
Hello, hello. Again with this David Bowie of yours.
Did you listen to that Queen tape I made you?
I haven't had the time yet.
No? Well when you do, notice how Bowie suddenly looks very lame, compared to Freddie, king of the world!
How dare you compare Freddie and Bowie?!
Everybody knows who asked who to record a song together.
Bowie called non-stop, he sent letters, begging:
Please Freddie, just one song together...
You're a liar, Juš! David would never do that!
Oh yes! Do you know how pressured Bowie was? Hence "Under Pressure".
Consider this: If Freddie died, the whole world would be grieving.
And if David died, nobody would even shed a tear.
Heaven would cry if David died!
Yeah, it would *** directly onto his grave.
Franc! I brought fresh tomatoes for gazpacho!
This neighbour of yours is crazy, though.
Liza wanted revenge.
Liza, before you do anything, it's not what it looks like. I can explain everything.
Ok, explain.
It's not what it looks like. She only came for a visit...
For a visit? Are you retarded? What kind of visit?!
Just a visit...
There's a woman in your bed, what's wrong with you?! - Liza, what are you doing?
And where do you think you're going?!
Liza wait, calm down.
What the *** is this ***...
Liza, stop!
...extravagance and humour, and therefore Freddie is the best singer of all times and a rock god!
Absolutely not!
Ziggy Stardust owns all the extravagance and humour there is!
Hunky Dory is the best album of all times, which means David Bowie is the rock god!
No way, are you out of your mind?
The best album of all times is A day at the races, Queen - no doubt!
Freddie made the cover himself, look at the symbolism, the leos, the virgos, the cancers...
You don't just visit other people. It's not nice!
...so much astrology -
I can't believe you're so inconsiderate. Inside!
O yeah. Girls, huh?
Hey, I'm sorry for all the noise. But we'll have to pretend everything's normal, ok?
Liza, I'm calling the cops, you hear? What are you doing in there?
Liza! What's going on? And who is this darling girl?
Franc is cheating on me with this ***!
He's cheating? - Yes.
With this ***? - Yes!
She slept with him.
She slept with him?!
But how?
In his bed!
In his bed!
In his bed?! You naughty girl!
Let me explain! He didn't say anything about ... or I wouldn't ...
Such beautiful hair. Like silk! Can I smell them?
Liza! Dio santo. Open the door!
He didn't mention...
Who asked you anything?!
Mmm, which shampoo?
I don't know! I didn't know! Yesterday, we - he didn't say anything!
I can't hear myself think! Shut up!
This woman of yours is really something.
That's why I have a rule against women.
I don't have time. Too much work.
Meri, though...
Oh well. I'll wait here with you, ok?
You ever read this?
The characters are so real. I think I sort resemble the cool one.
If anything, you're the slow one.
It's so great that you came to visit.
I got you the fancy cofee cups.
My mother always used to say hospitality is very important.
How's coffee?
Liza, I don't think that's very polite. She can't even try the coffee!
Shut up.
You don't have to be rude.
What are you going to do with her?
I'm going to retaliate.
Freaky! Can I retaliate, too?
How are we going to do that?
I don't know yet. I have to think.
I'll cut her hair off.
Cut her hair? If I was her, I sure wouldn't want that.
Such beautiful hair.
Although, you could cut my hair.
Do you know how to do the mullet?
Do I look like a *** hairdresser to you? I will not give a haircut to anyone.
I'll pull her hair out, every last one of them.
If not that, I'll shave her bald.
Yeah, or the bob haircut.
No, the rat tail one.
Or the bob.
I can see why she's so angry. But what can I do?
What's done is done. Everyone makes mistakes.
Yeah, or Meri, for example. Great girl. Except for this David Bowie of hers...
I knew I shouldn't date people from the *** seaside.
Yeah, you know what my mother always used to say?
"Seasiders - misguiders!"
She also used to say:
"From the land of rocks come big --- !"
What's wrong with you? Why can't you say '***'?
I don't use that word.
***!
You know what I find weird? You have to lie in bed with a guy, and then, from under the blanket:
That's so weird.
It would be great if somebody else found that weird.
Especially, if something like that doesn't belong to them.
Because it belongs to me.
I know what you mean. Like my Bowie tapes.
If someone took them, I'd kill him.
Or shoot him.
Or at least beat him to death.
Ok, I'm not so sure about the death part...
It's a little much.
Or I'd chop their thieving fingers right off.
Punishment and insurance in one.
It's still a bit severe, don't you think?
Ok, what then?
I have to think.
You can't think on an empty stomach. Right?
Poor girl. She can't even tell me her name!
What's your name? See, nothing,
I'll tell you. Metka! Her name is Metka.
And us three will make ourselves lunch. You, and you, and me.
If only she admitted Freddie is better, maybe I'd reconsider my rule about women.
Yeah, well Metka came to my exhibition.
And you saw what she looks like.
Oh well, it's not going to happen. At least until she admits Freddie's better.
I was so impressed by him. He was so smart and everything.
My father never liked the type.
But I did, a lot.
He drove me up the wall of course, too.
Always with: "Liza, come on, I'm hungry."
"Liza, I have a headache."
"Liza, I'm painting. I'm not going out tonight, I can't be around stupid people."
"I don't feel like it."
I don't know. I guess I'm at a point in my life where everything seems pointless.
People are so ignorant.
How can I talk to Liza's friends, who think Robert Bresson is the guy who made La femme Nikita?
Or that Einsenstein's name is Albert?
Sergei is his name, Liza. Sergei!
Sergei Schmergei! There's not enough tomatoes.
She always surprised me somehow, though. She is a very positive person.
Liza, where are you going with that knife?
Idiot.
Liza, let's talk. Everything can still be ok.
*** off!
Liza, no, wait.
Come on.
You know you're my one and only Muse.
Pumpkin.
Feeling blue?
Go to hell!
And gazpacho!
*** you and your *** gazpacho and your ugly, hideous paintings, you ***!
Liza, please!
I'm not "feeling blue", I'm furious!
Liza no, please, not that.
You're tearing me apart Liza!
First you cheat on me, then you make this *** paintings which can't even be destroyed!
Wee wee wee, wee wee, wee.
***-tink. Liza!
It's me, Liza.
David Bowie?
Yes! It is I.
Freaky, huh?
Freaky Bowie.
It is me.
And I thought Meri was crazy.
Who isn't crazy in this freaky crazy world?
Crazy world...
No, but she is. Crazy, I mean.
I can see you are in need of my advice. That's why I came here.
Where did you come from?
From space. Space, Liza.
What?
Hello? Earth to Major Liza?
Why don't you rather tell me about Metka. Why are you pulling her around by the hair?
She...
Hush. Sit down and listen, Liza. We'll talk.
I'm sitting already.
You have to go back in the kitchen and untie Metka.
Tell me, is she to blame for what happened?
No.
Is Franc the only man who will ever love you?
No.
Is there life on Mars? No.
But they say it's possible there's water on Mars.
Well so what? Does water mean life?
What is water anyway?
H2O.
Two Hs, one O.
Do you know why only one O?
Because it's a vowel.
It vows to tell us, what else will happen.
Get it, Liza? Get it? Is that freaky enough for you?
Freaky.
Liza? Where are you?
Freaky Bowie flying away...
Who were you talking to?
What do you mean?
I heard you talking to someone.
Do you see anyone?
Well no, but I heard you talking to someone.
You're completely crazy. You should think about that.
I'm not crazy! I won't think it over!
You should think yourself over, look how rude you are.
"How rude you are!" And you're completely insane.
In this crazy apartment with this crazy talking posters.
He talked to you.
You know what you are, Liza? A ***!
I wanted to be your friend, I invited you over. I made you cofee.
I wanted to retaliate to Metka together with you,
And you throw all of my pills in our gazpacho, and you talk to -
And you talk to her! The first girl you meet!
And I sing to you, dance for you, I take care of you...
I can't do this anymore.
Meri, are you ok? You know, he told me that he loves you the most...
the most in the whole world.
Meri, she didn't mean anything by it. They were just talking,
Mee mee mee mee! What's wrong with you?
I kidnapped you, I tied you up.
And when I release you, what do you do? Defend me.
What are we gonna do with you? Come on, stand up for yourself.
Do something,
Be a little angry. Scream. Come on!
Hit me at least!
Liza!
Liza! I ... called the cops.
What?
Well...
What have you done?
Well you ruined all my selfportraits. And I didn't know if she's ok, either.
Idiot!
Don't be violent.
Hey, don't hit my girlfriend!
So now you're hitting women? ***.
That's right!
Good morning.
Good morning.
Miss, we received an anonymous tip that a person is being held here against her will.
Anonymous!
I apologize, officer. Please, come in.
You can see for yourself, who the anonymous caller is.
I can tell you he's a no good liar and cheater!
Let's go.
Miss Metka Kaučič?
That's me.
Everything seems to be ok with you.
He's from the land of rocks!
Yes, I'm ok.
And you? Why is your face so red?
Did anyone hit you?
No, no, officer. I was putting my makeup on before and I was a bit sloppy.
Well, you still look nice.
Thank you, officer.
Officers, may I offer you a drink?
Here you go.
What's this?
The best gazpacho in the whole world.
Well, just one, ok?
Officer?
Yes?
You have such a pretty uniform.
Why, thank you.
Meri's gazpacho starts to take effect...
I guess you don't need much to forget about me.
Oh, come on Franc...
Look, you're a beautiful woman.
I'm only worried you'll end up with such an average, simple guy.
He's a police officer!
I have to admit he'll probably know how to repair your TV or something -
But afterwards, Liza?
When he wants to talk about ... I have no idea what such people even talk about.
About... haircuts?
I don't need a repairman.
You always miss the point, Liza.
You deserve better, you know.
Like a boyfriend who cheats on me?
What else can I say? No apology is good enough.
Nothing I do makes you feel better. I don't know anymore.
You didn't do anything yet. Not even apologize.
What do you mean, that we're through?
Yes, we are.
Liza, Liza. Well I want to die.
Come on Meri, I'll admit this Bowie of yours is not so bad.