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NARRATOR: Previously on The Temp Life.
NICK: A lot things have changed since I was put back
in charge of staffing.
Everyone seems really, really happy.
Almost everyone.
EVE: Chia pet.
I am going to need you to hire some new temps.
STORMY: Ben.
He is fantastic.
And I don't even pay him a salary.
NICK: You're hired, Thomas Clancy.
STEVIE: The office attire mullet.
Business up top, baller down below.
Boom.
EVE: I am sending a Senior VP down to oversee this uh,
macaroni operation you've got running down there.
ALINA: The mainframe?
In the office.
Next to the conference room.
THOMAS CLANCY: Really?
I found my Judas.
NICK: And you must be--
Eddie?
EDDIE: Not happy to see your brother?
NICK: Are you my new boss?
EDDIE: I'm finally the boss of you.
THOMAS CLANCY: Clancy out.
EDDIE: Dr. Idiot.
NICK: Oh!
EDDIE: Where are the new temps?
NICK: Uh, well I've got one coming in.
EDDIE: Well, I sure hope it's not another spy novelist.
THOMAS CLANCY: It's like taking candy from a baby.
A very dumb baby.
Why am I depressed?
EDDIE: I hope it's not another mole from the competition.
That could make Eve upset.
You wouldn't like her when she's angry.
NICK: And when is she happy?
EDDIE: Oh.
I've seen her happy.
NICK: Gross.
EDDIE: You know, seeing you squirm like this, knowing I
have power over you, I kind of like it.
NICK: You know, Eddie, just because our mother liked my
father more than yours doesn't mean we can't like, get along
and stuff, does it?
EDDIE: She didn't like him more.
I'm not gonna do this right now because I'm kind of
hungry, and I get cranky, so I'm going to
go get my grub on.
I'm going to take Alina out to lunch.
NICK: Oh, she eats?
EDDIE: New hires.
Get on it.
Not my job at stake.
NICK: Got one on the way, actually.
I don't.
NANCY: I have two temp candidates here to see you,
Mr.
C. HANK: Hey.
NANCY: And this is Tammy.
Tammy is my twin sister.
NICK: Oh, god.
I thought they broke the mold with you, Nancy.
BOTH: We might be twins, but we are unique in our own way.
NICK: Wow.
That's--
where I come from, they call that an understatement.
HANK: Where I come from, they call it a sideshow.
NICK: So come on in, thank you, Nancy.
It's just, it's fascinating to meet you.
So, your timing is perfect.
We are actually right in the middle of, of
hiring some new temps.
We do have a need.
HANK: It's weird.
Your job's kind of on the line.
It's rough, bro.
Maybe you could hire yourself?
Huh?
Huh?
Up top?
NICK: Tammy.
Have you ever temped before?
Maybe in a, in a back office?
Back, way back?
TAMMY: I would say that my skill set is primarily in the
beauty and modeling department.
NICK: Sorry, I, it's an alfalfa sprout.
Um, so you, you are, you were a model?
HANK: At like, a state fair?
NICK: OK, hey, Lance Bass?
All right, I don't know what boy band you danced
your way out of.
HANK: Hey, he's my favorite astronaut, all right?
TAMMY: OK, I'm used to men fighting over me.
You two calm down.
Back in school, they used to call me hot road.
Like hot rod.
NICK: Nancy said you were homeschooled.
TAMMY: I was.
NICK: Of course.
OK, I cannot think of one legal reason not to hire both
of you, so um, welcome aboard.
HANK: Yes!
Wait, I'm not here for a job.
NICK: What?
HANK: Oh no, I'm I'm just looking for a place to crash.
You know, like sleep?
Hang out.
TAMMY: Um, we have, a spare area that you could sleep in
in my house, with Nancy and I.
HANK: Yeah?
Twins.
Score.
NICK: Good for you.
EDDIE: I asked you here today because we have
something in common.
ALINA: You wear a mouth guard to bed at night?
EDDIE: No, no.
You mean, like a football player?
What are you talking about?
ALINA: Nothing, never mind.
Just kidding.
You were saying?
EDDIE: Neither of us like Nick.
ALINA: How do you know him?
EDDIE: I've known Nick since I was four.
We're step brothers.
ALINA: Really?
EDDIE: Well, my father was much better looking.
That's why he worked for the CIA.
Mom said he was always away on missions.
Anyway, when we were younger, Nick wanted whatever I had.
He'd just take it.
ALINA: He just took my job away from me.
EDDIE: See, that's what he does.
When we were kids, I had a lemonade stand.
Kids used to come from all over the neighborhood just to
have my lemonade.
Sometimes as far as three blocks.
Nick told all the kids that my lemonade gave them cooties.
Two weeks, I'm out of business, and his pink
lemonade stand is all the range.
ALINA: That's horrible.
EDDIE: My metaphor, or the, uh, story?
ALINA: Your story. it's so sad.
The metaphor was clever.
EDDIE: Thank you.
Anyway, lemonade kind of leaves a
sour taste in my mouth.
ALINA: Isn't it always sour?
EDDIE: Not when you're rolling in nickels.
Then it's sweet, sweet money juice.
You know, Eve wants me to run things in the office.
And uh, I'd kind of like you to help me
give uh, Nick cooties.
ALINA: I don't have cooties.
EDDIE: No.
I, I mean metaphorically.
I want to take Nick's lemonade stand away.
I'm being metaphorical again.
See, you aren't clear?
ALINA: Crystal.