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Over here,
over here!
Clear him, clear him!
Hey, what was that?
Hatchet, hatchet, hatchet!
Come on, Toros.
Let's make some noise!
Nice to meet the pride
of Trois-Rivieres.
I still got your Wings
rookie card.
So what's that worth?
It's a collector's item.
They don't make them
like you anymore.
So do you wanna go?
Square up.
Good luck.
He didn't get
a hand on you?
You're going to be
a force in the show.
Whoo!
Boo!
Come on, Toros!
Get a trainer over here!
Original air date on April 9, 2012
[Massive Attack's Teardrop]
♪
Capacity crowd is on its feet.
Five seconds
on the clock.
Ah.
How is it possible for one man
to be blessed
with so much skill?
I had one just like this,
except it was Bruins
and the Habs.
Where did you get it?
Birthday present for someone
in pediatric oncology.
with hemoptysis.
He's a hockey player?
No, he's a superhero.
He's coughing up blood
because he probably broke a rib
and punctured a lung
while breaking
someone else's rib
and puncturing their lung
in the name of sport.
Nice conclusion to which
the E.
R.
already jumped
18 hours ago.
Short man
equals bullied child.
I was average height as a kid
and never bullied.
Until now.
X-ray ruled out
traumatic sequelae,
overt TB,
and lung cancer.
Sarcoidosis.
Nodules could be too small
to show up on an X-ray.
Fighting's the best part
of hockey.
Without it, you've got
the Ice Capades.
Fighting has nothing
to do with hockey.
It's like the cheerleaders
at a basketball game.
Cheerleading's the best part
of basketball.
Without it you've got
Basketball.
He's a duck hunter.
He could've contracted
psittacosis
from exposure
to fowl.
He had three teeth
knocked out two weeks ago.
Infection could've led
to oral bleeding.
Not without continuing
dental pain.
Then he took an elbow
to the gut, which caused
an esophageal tear.
Chase, CT the patient.
Check for sarcoid.
Adams, sputum cultures
and serologies for psittacosis.
Taub
I'd tell you why
I think your theory
is not just wrong
but ill-conceived,
but it's more fun to prove it
by having you check
the stool for blood.
And while we wait
for the stool fairy,
I'm a man down,
so you want to drop your pants
and hit the ice.
The faster you guys
can do this, the better.
The NHL's been
sniffing around,
and being in the hospital is not
really helping my marketability.
You have to be pretty good
to get called up.
Yeah, leading the league
in penalty minutes.
And visits to the E.
R.
, not
counting the ones you've caused.
Not a hockey fan,
I gather?
I am.
That's the point.
Fighting cheapens
a great sport.
Oh, come on,
that's like saying
passing cheapens football.
It's part of the game.
I don't cause injuries.
They're self-inflicted?
No, I prevent them.
I take the hit
so the smaller guys
don't have to.
I thought
you'd appreciate that.
Neighbor's baby again?
I could hear it through
earplugs, two pillows,
and three sleeping pills.
Hmm.
What is wrong
with you?
I just said, "hmm.
"
You're trying
to figure out
some deeper significance
to my having
a couple
of crappy nights.
Which one of us is analyzing
the word "hmm" here?
Fine.
Sorry.
Apology accepted.
However
Mm.
It's not the crying
that's keeping you awake.
The sound
of a needy child
is stirring
your paternal juices.
The sound
of a needy child
at 112 decibels has stirred
my inner murderer.
Don't mess with me.
Explain the stains
on your shirt.
You're lactating.
The fact that you're the only
fruit on your family tree
is getting to you.
It's not a big deal.
So I'll probably
never be a dad.
It's--
it sucks.
I'll lose a little sleep,
but--
You're not supposed to feel bad
when you dodge a bullet.
It's like you got
survivor's guilt.
There are
actually things
in this world that give life
even more meaning
than soap operas
and monster trucks.
And we happen to be missing out
on at least one of them.
Remember the falconer?
Beth?
You dated two falconers?
Yes, Beth.
The night the two
of you split up,
you came around
to my place,
wallowing in self-pity
and Tequila.
You passed out.
She called that night,
asked me to give you a message.
She said
she was pregnant
Which, God
and Planned Parenthood willing,
means you are the father
of an 11-year-old.
I told you
the next morning
Hypothetically.
I asked you how you'd feel
if Beth had gotten pregnant,
and you said,
and I quote,
"It would be the worst mistake
of my life.
"
And
Scene.
Two performances Sunday,
dark mondays?
Just as well.
I want to kill
my mother.
My Popo's on her own,
and my mother always needs me
to take care of her.
Well, you could kill
Popo instead.
I have to take
her shopping,
to her friends,
to Atlantic City.
I love her,
but every night,
every weekend
And only if there was
some solution,
someplace
where you could live
that's not there.
My mom would freak.
It would be the ultimate sign
of disrespect.
Okay.
Then stay.
And maybe you consider
not *** about it?
Not everyone's lucky enough
to have your independence.
Don't worry.
When you lose your family,
you'll have it too.
He doesn't have
sarcoid.
Look at that.
That's his spleen.
I know.
But he's gotten it
supersized.
Deep vein thrombosis
caused by any one of
his many injuries
or surgeries.
Leukemia's
a better fit.
We have a guy
who is punishing
his body
on a daily basis.
Don't you think that's a more
likely cause than cancer?
No, because she doesn't have
an agenda.
Well, that was
incredibly unprofessional.
Well, it was really
Taub's fault.
If you're not prepared
to slam her into the boards,
she's got no reason
not to go after you.
Might I suggest pulling
her jersey over her head first?
We should get an ultrasound
for DVT and WBC for leukemia.
You think
I could have cancer?
More likely,
it's just a DVT.
This is my agent.
I gotta get this, man.
Give me some good news,
Kenny.
I thought
you said any day.
Okay.
All right.
I gotta go.
I called Beth.
I have an 11-year-old son.
Liver failure could alter
hormone levels,
cause abnormal breast
development.
Alcoholism.
We should search his home
and locker room.
Note that the person
who wants to search the home
didn't sleep in one last night.
You have the imprint of
a seatbelt buckle in your cheek.
I got in a fight
with my mother.
She hit you
with a seatbelt?
Could be
hemochromatosis.
Explains the liver
and the spleen,
but hemoptysis is a stretch.
What about leptospirosis?
That's a good fit,
if you ignore the fact
that he's a pro athlete
who looks like
the Incredible Hulk,
which means he's gotta be
on steroids,
which is a better fit.
All we really know for sure
is it was his evil job
that caused the problems.
Yes, I don't like him.
Doesn't mean
my judgment's affected.
Maybe.
Let's take a look
at the instant replay.
This is the hit
that precipitated
*** Orr's fight.
Dirty or clean?
The hit was clean.
Really?
The guy
released the puck
at least a second
before the hit.
We have a difference of opinion.
That's all.
Absolutely.
Maybe she's as biased as you.
Or maybe the entire league is.
After review, the league
disciplinary commissioner
ruled the hit
illegal and dangerous
and suspended the player
for three games.
Adams and Taub,
run antibody titers for lepto.
Chase and Park,
check out the home,
the locker room
for ***, steroids,
and Taub's objectivity.
At least you're free.
Going to get
your own place?
If I can find a place
I can afford,
sono.
If you want,
you can crash
at my place
in the spare bedroom.
That might be
kind of weird.
I live in an apartment,
not a dungeon.
It's just two single people,
opposite sex.
I--
Your bedroom door has
a lock on the inside.
Hey, if you prefer your car,
be my guest.
Scrip for Ganciclovir.
If his neighbor has mono,
could mean he has mono.
If he has mono, explains
his spleen and hemoptysis.
And it's caused
by Epstein-Barr virus,
which explains his liver.
And my moonroof leaks.
Thank you.
Why don't we just assume
that you're not the dad?
Either you're the dad,
or she cheated on you
with your dad.
Oh!
Sand art.
I used to love this.
He's bitter,
not mentally handicapped.
Who knows what Beth
told him about you?
At worst,
you're a ***.
At best,
you're a ***.
Maybe she said I was
a dead war hero.
Raised by a lunatic mother
and abandoned by his father.
Oh, I know!
Squirrel handcuffs.
You think he's gotten
any of those?
If you really wanted me to do
nothing with this information,
then why did you
give it to me?
Because you were pining
for a kid,
and you deserved to know
that you already had one.
But your parental cravings are
more theoretical than applied.
You want
vicarious immortality
more than you want
a lifelong burden.
You're assuming
he's going to be a nightmare.
What if he's a good kid?
He's a kid.
Best you can hope for
is he's a nightmare.
House, I'm not naive.
I realize that this thing
could go very badly,
but the point is
my son wants to meet me.
And I want to meet him.
Popo, I presume.
Hey, uh,
I let myself in.
Um, this is--
We've met.
I thought the whole point of
this was to get away from Popo.
My dad's getting
a cyst removed,
and my mother had to take him
to the clinic.
Don't worry.
She'll be gone in an hour.
I'm not worried,
because it's not my issue.
She seems awfully quiet.
You haven't seen her drunk.
Bobby?
I found him crying
in the fetal position.
It's not a new symptom.
He's crying because
his liver failure
threw his hormones
out of whack.
Aside from the crying, he's
actually recovering nicely.
Aside from the guy
in the book depository,
the Kennedys had
a lovely trip to Dallas.
Repetitive blows
to the head
can cause chronic
traumatic encephalopathy,
symptoms of which are aggressive
behavior and depression.
So your theory is that
his aggressive behavior
caused his aggressive behavior.
He's not depressed.
He's just bummed
because he knows
he's a talentless moron
who's only one lost fight
away from being a barista.
I understand that can get
to a guy after a while.
If he quits being an enforcer,
it could save his life.
You don't want
to save his life.
You want to kill his career.
I moved into Chase's apartment.
He knows.
He was staring
at our matching cups.
I told you
we should split up.
We're not having sex.
With each other.
.
Yet.
Yes.
Yes?
I just mean no one knows
the future right now,
so we don't really know--
The only conclusive test
for CTE is post-mortem.
But an MRI of his brain
could reveal
white matter disintegrity,
which is the effect of CTE.
Why? Are you trying
to sleep with her?
'Cause the simpler technique
is just to ask.
I was doing something nice.
Mm, no.
Th--mm.
No, that doesn't fit.
He's only had
three concussions
since he was ten.
It's not enough to cause CTE.
Three reported
concussions.
These guys are taught in high
school how to dupe the tests.
Guilt?
This is really insulting.
It's not guilt.
Park is a friend.
So it's guilt.
Chase convinced you
to leave mommy,
and now he feels
responsible.
No MRI.
Do a psych eval.
If he doesn't start weeping
again, send him home.
Dr.
Wilson?
Duncan.
Uh, James.
Uh, n-n-nice
to meet you.
It's nice to meet you.
Um
How are you doing?
Good.
Good.
I got you this.
Oh.
Thank you.
Go ahead.
Okay.
It's got three games
built in,
but you can download more
from the website.
Yeah, I know.
You already have one.
I can always use
a backup.
Hi, can I start you
with something to drink?
Just water,
please.
You got a Gamedeck?
Way to go, Dad.
According to
your psych eval,
the only thing happier than you
is Disneyland.
I'm sorry you had to see me
like that last night.
I'm just upset about being
in the hospital and
I'm on some weird meds,
but they must be working,
because I'm feeling
a lot better now.
Depression could be the symptom
of a serious illness.
CTE.
Yeah, my aunt sends me every
article she can find on it.
And you know
it could kill you.
In the long run,
like a lot of things.
You might be right.
And an MRI
could confirm that.
I have enough evidence of head
trauma in my file already, so
My mom said you had trouble
maintaining relationships
with normal people.
She also said
you were a nice guy.
I always figured
she was lying
'cause she didn't want me
to hate my deadbeat dad.
I didn't know--
I-I know
Now.
You're a bright kid.
Thanks to you.
Thanks to my mom, I'm also
a big, soft-hearted wuss.
I think you may have
gotten that from both of us.
Uh, I gotta go, but it was
really nice meeting you.
It was nice meeting you,
Duncan.
Uh, you want
to hang out again?
Absolutely.
Tonight?
Tonight?
Well, I-I--
there's, um
That would be great.
Okay.
I'll text you.
Thank you.
How did you talk him into it?
He agreed once I promised
him anonymity.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Doe liked
the name John apparently.
Unfortunately we just wasted
his time and proved House right.
Nothing?
What about that?
That's an artifact.
That's a density.
I know you think
I'm convincing myself,
but this brain has been
hammered for years,
meaning evidence may be subtle,
but it's there.
Meaning you see
what you want to see.
Unless, of course,
Chase is an idiot,
and I do have brain damage.
Patient's stroking out.
Chase?
Can you get me out of--
Ohh
Hello?
The good news is,
it's isolated
ophthalmoplegia,
which means you
didn't have a stroke.
Bad news is,
Taub was right.
You're still sick.
I said "right,"
not "competent.
"
Bursts your CTE bubble.
You're going to need a whole
new theory to keep Uncle Jesse
and his Olsen twins
on the bench.
Can we discuss my incompetence
somewhere else?
Dr.
House.
Could I talk to you
for a minute?
Could be neurosyphilis.
He's only 22.
And he's been on the road
since he was 14.
So he was trash
even before he was trash?
You curious about
what he wanted?
I assume he wanted me
off the case,
and you told him I was hit
in the head as a child,
and your mother made you promise
to take care of me.
He was doing what
he always does--
sticking up
for the little guy.
He told me
to apologize to you,
or he would excrete down
my throat.
I'm paraphrasing.
So if he should ask,
I was a gentleman,
or I will excrete down
your throat.
Microscopic polyangiitis fits.
We should start plasmapheresis
immediately.
We need to run an ANCA panel
to confirm first.
Putting him on plasmapheresis
could make him bleed out.
MPA can progress quickly.
We may not have time
before it reaches his lungs.
I think you're right.
Thus confirming
my objectivity.
Start the treatment.
Miserable yet?
He's polite, well-adjusted,
and a straight-A student.
Which means
he doesn't need you.
So why don't you get out
while the butterfly effect
is still
in the cocoon stage?
I'm making him dinner.
You don't make
an 11-year-old dinner.
You give him a jar
of peanut butter.
It'll be fine.
I could give this kid
a quinoa salad,
and he would eat it
just to be nice.
'Cause he's a gutless placater,
just like his dad.
He's nice.
This is
a terrible idea.
Because we like
each other?
Yes.
'Cause of the statement
"we like each other.
"
You've known him
All you know about him is that
he'd lie about a quinoa salad,
whatever the hell
that is.
You're jealous
of an 11-year-old
because you are
an 11-year-old.
So tell me
about yourself.
I mean,
you're smart,
you're nice,
but what else?
I don't know.
I'm a kid.
Right.
What are you
looking for?
Nothing.
You want
peanut butter?
Do you have
prosciutto?
You like prosciutto?
I'm weird.
No, no.
I--
I like it too.
I've got some in the fridge.
How about goat cheese?
I love goat cheese.
I think that was
the best pizza I ever had.
It was the hint
of dijon.
Do you have any aunts
or uncles or grandparents?
My mom got into some stupid
fight with my grandfather.
They all
kind of cut us off.
Hmm.
Are you talking
to your parents?
Yes, and they're going
to be very surprised
and excited
to meet you.
That's awesome.
You have arrived
at your destination.
Well--
Thanks for the pizza.
Sure, sure.
It was, uh--
I mean, it was great
to spend time with you and--
I love you, Dad.
Can't be easy
doing what you do.
I mean,
do you love it?
Is it fun?
I had my own
plastic surgery practice
making lots of money,
but I wasn't happy.
It wasn't what I went
to med school for.
Every winter my dad would flood
the backyard and made a rink.
I was Lemieux.
My little brother was Gretzky.
I was good.
I won the NDHA scoring title
three years in a row.
I kept getting bigger
and stronger and better
till I didn't.
Juniors coach
told me that,
if I wanted to stay on the team,
then I'd have to use my size.
Every game, I got
less and less ice time
until it was all fighting
and no hockey.
I, uh
There's something going on
with my arms.
I can't feel them.
I--
Doctor, I can't feel
my arms.
Patient's arms
are now paralyzed.
ANCA panel
was negative.
It's not MPA.
Lyme disease
could cause paralysis.
If he was hunting,
he'd be exposed to ticks.
No target rash
or cardiac involvement.
Roomies with benefits
keeping you up?
Cribbage.
Played with Park's Popo.
Is that two
separate events?
Grandmother.
ALS could explain
the symptoms.
Sensory involvement
rules out ALS.
Okay, yeah.
This is interesting.
We'll get back to
the patient in a second.
Your issue is the same
as Wilson's, except
you're haunted by the
pitter-patter of tiny skanks.
You don't feel guilty
about getting Park
thrown out of her home.
You feel guilty about all the
women that you've screwed over.
My mother needs 1,000 bucks
for snow tires.
Park's a friend.
Popo's fun.
Paralysis has gone
from his face to his arms,
meaning it's descending,
which is the hallmark
of botulism.
So it was something he ate.
How innocuous.
You've overcome your bias
by reversing it.
The only problem is that
being in love with a patient
is just as judgmental
as being in hate.
We didn't find
any contaminated--
No contaminated food.
I'm not an idiot.
But what if it's not from
ingesting but from injecting?
He was treated
for intractable muscle spasms
by the team's trainers.
Sometimes they use Botox.
We need to start
the antitoxin--
The antitoxin
could cause anaphylaxis.
We need to test first
to confirm.
As if to prove my point,
last time you said
there wasn't enough time
to test
prior to a more
dangerous treatment.
It's a different situation,
different symptom,
different diagnosis.
Different emotion.
Give him the antitoxin.
Anything?
No adverse effects.
Chase let me
move in with him
to get away
from my grandmother.
Then he practically let
my grandmother
move in with
the both of us.
He's being way more
than nice.
Then which answer is it?
Chase feels guilty
for pushing you to move out?
He didn't push me.
Guilt about skanks?
He loves skanks.
It's not the other option.
There are people
that like me.
People even want
to sleep with me.
Some of them are
even good-looking.
That good-looking?
Did you see that?
You're feeling
something?
Yeah.
I could give you crap
for making me wait 11 years,
but instead I'm going
to thank you
for not making me
wait another 11.
Every little girl
wants a pony
till they have to clean up
after it.
You think I'm going
to quit on this?
On an 11-year-old?
The only relationship
you haven't quit on
has been with me.
Hmm.
A needy,
truculent narcissist.
I think it's been perfect
training for parenthood.
That's not even close.
This is the rest
of your life.
You screw this up,
you don't get to run away.
You get to ruin
both your lives.
This is a bigger responsibility
than any you've ever taken on
and screwed up.
I know.
That's why I'm so
excited about it.
You're really happier doing this
than looking at *** all day?
Luckily I get patients like you
every now and again
who let me
reexperience the joy.
You know, the best part
of my day is when I'm sitting
in that penalty box
after I beat someone up.
That's the only time
I know I'm safe.
Think Lemieux
ever felt that way?
I'm not going back.
To hockey?
To enforcing
Whatever that costs.
Good for you.
Ooh!
First goal
for the pocket rocket.
Bobby?
We need a team
in here!
He's completely paralyzed,
and he tested negative
for botulism.
I am now accepting
long shots.
Polio.
Some kids were
never vaccinated.
Unless they played sports
all their lives
and had two physicals
a year.
How about MLD?
That's a bad fit.
I say that not because
there's no treatment for MLD
but because it's a bad fit.
His cognitive abilities
are unaffected.
Prion disease could explain
the waxing and waning symptoms.
The test for Prions
is a brain biopsy.
Given his history, there's
got to be brain swelling.
We can't risk drilling
into his skull.
Pretty sure
we can.
We also could keep talking
until we can find
an answer
we all can agree on.
All of us?
Those who love him,
those who hate him,
those who don't give a crap
about him or you--
Or I could just discuss it
on my own with Foreman.
He's not your friend.
I get it.
He's a patient.
I'm not--
He never had your back.
He didn't insist that
I apologize to you.
He asked me to take you
off the case.
Biopsy his brain.
Hey, Dad.
Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
Got in a fight
with my mom.
She's such a tool.
I'm sure
she means well.
She wants to open
a reserve in Costa Rica
for rescued
birds of prey.
But how serious is she?
From my recollection, she used
to talk about doing a lot--
Yeah, but she bought
plane tickets for Monday.
Well, Costa Rica
is beautiful.
And the schools
are supposed to be great.
Oh, I'm not going.
It's her stupid dream,
not mine.
Then what will you do?
Uh
I-I thought
maybe I could, uh
Maybe I could stay
with you?
Uh, y-your place is only
I could bus it every day.
And I do my own laundry.
I keep my room tidy.
Duncan,
th-this--
This is very sudden.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Please don't send me
to the jungle.
If it's okay with your mother,
it's okay with me.
Take me off the case.
I've obviously completely
lost my objectivity.
I'm not helping,
I'm not even neutral.
Agreed.
So why shouldn't I take you
off all my cases?
Because you were right.
I hate bullies.
You work for me.
You're not a bully.
Pretty sure I am,
dickwad.
I've known a lot of bullies--
people who didn't like me
because I'm short,
people who didn't like me
because I'm Jewish--
Yeah, I get it.
There's a long list of reasons
not to like you.
You relentlessly mock, but it's
not for self-aggrandizement.
It's because ideas
are bigger than feelings.
At least that's what
I choose to believe.
I also thought you had the side
effect of desensitizing me.
You little ***.
Here's some ideas for you.
You screwed up.
You kept on screwing up.
Everything you said is true,
except
It doesn't mean
you walk away.
You just learn
to trust nothing.
Everything you think
you feel,
everything you think
you know.
Question every call,
play through
every whistle.
I just had
a light bulb.
Maybe.
You can trust light bulbs.
Stop.
It's not Prions.
Epstein-Barr
gave him mono.
It also gave him
Miller Fisher syndrome.
The plasmapheresis played
through the whistle.
We gave it
to him for MPA,
but when he got worse,
we took him off.
When he got better,
we thought it was the antitoxin.
But it was actually the
plasmapheresis still working.
We had the right treatment,
just the wrong diagnosis.
It was my metaphor
that solved the case.
Put him back on plasmapheresis.
He'll be fine.
Nice save.
Didn't quite make up for being
a sieve the rest of the game.
Ex-girlfriend's
baby again?
His mother is moving
to Costa Rica.
He asked if he could
move in with me.
And I said yes.
Well, it's only six
or seven years.
Unless he can't get into
college, in which case,
it's more a matter of
your life expectancy.
I said yes,
knowing I'm not remotely
ready for that,
knowing he's not ready to be
separated from his mother.
This isn't the act of
a mature, rational adult.
I--
I can't do this, House.
You were right.
I have an idea
that can make
this entire problem go away.
Yes, I really
want to hear
your clever late-term
abortion joke.
You were right
about everything.
This is life.
It's real.
It doesn't just go away.
None of that is true.
Hey.
Duncan.
Actually
Wendel.
One "l.
"
If you're going
to get pissy,
remember,
it was House's idea.
You're an actor?
Five commercials and a recurring
on Days of Our Lives.
You were regretting not having
kids, so I gave you one
Thereby rendering you
regret-free.
It's a priceless gift.
Get out.
Well, it's not priceless
'cause he charges
SAG minimum.
Get out!
Chillax, Dad.
Can you do
an Australian accent?
I just got the call.
Three-year deal.
$2.
1 million.
What about the flooded backyard
and pretending to be Lemieux?
That's why I took it.
After all I did
to get here,
half a dream is better
than nothing.
Maybe my new coach will see
what my juniors coach didn't.
That'd be nice.
I'm not sleeping
with you.
That's a shame.
This is about Popo.
She's not sleeping
with me either, right?
You were jealous of me.
My family.
Maybe you've got too much,
and I've got too little.
I might sleep with you
after all.
[Lee Dorsey's
Everything I Do Gonh Be Funky]
♪
everything I do
gon' be funky
from now on
yeah
everything I do
gon' be f-funky
from now on
I have to be myself
and do my thing
a little soul
can't do no harm ♪
yeah
everything I do
gon' be funky ♪
The woman that I called--
that was really Beth?
Found her on Facebook.
How much did she charge?
Nothing.
She's still pissed at you.
From now on,
yeah ♪
Pass the bacon.
I thought you liked
prosciutto.
Nobody likes
prosciutto.
Yeah
uh