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John: I'm gonna have a baby
Rob: Is it mine?
Oh baby
Tim: My buddy Eric is coming up
he's getting some coffee, you guys, anybody
want anything?
Everyone: No Thanks
Tim: Um, I'll take a uh [laughter]
strawberry-banana smoothie.
Mike: ***
Rob: And a bag of dicks.
[laughter]
Mike: Ugly girls, um you're not being
quite annoying enough.
So, when you see a guy who looks like he's having
a good time at the *** bar
you need to go over and disturb him.
Ask him if he wants a dance
and when he says no, continue
to hang out for 35 to 45 minutes at least.
Talk to him about bands he doesn't like,
specifically Korn if he's alternative, and
Dave Mathews Band if he's wearing a collared shirt.
Tim: Alright I think we're ready to go.
You ready princess?
Mike: Hang on!
John: Maybe if I use this I can find water.
Mike: Also, some of these guys are really
interested in what your hopes and dreams are,
so if you could just tell them all about that,
that would be great.
John: Oh ***!
Mike: What'd you do?
John: I was acting, look it up.
Tim: Acting!
John: I was acting, go ask Shakespeare about it.
Tim: Bill Shakespeare, a good friend of mine.
John: Billy Shakes, what I like to call him.
Mike: By the way, that guy we don't pay anything
to be in the bathroom. He's getting kinda annoyed
with how many guys come in and don't give him
anything for handing them a towel. So if you
guys could just uh
John: Slip that into conversation.
Mike: If you could just casually slip that into conversation.
John: You know I'm, I'm just interested.
I film things that I'm interested in.
Mike: I need a father who's a role model,
not some *** geek boy who's going to blow
his load every time I bring one of my girlfriends
home from school. Sometimes I just wish somebody
would...put him out of his misery.
John: Do you want me to kill your dad?
Mike: Yeah, would you?