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Welcome to the Daily Slog News Review
In this week's top story the Israeli Olympic showing has been so bad that the
entire delegation is staying on to compete in the paralympics
In the Olympic ceremony moment of remembrance controversy a compromise was
reached in which the Israeli government will stand for a moment of silence in
memory of the unfulfilled expectations from the games.
The country's hopes for the hundred-meter dash had been pinned on
a job-nik who was about to miss his bus ride home.
In the future ancient history department, Shaul Mofaz maintained to the end
of his daliance with Netanyahu that he remained true to his principles and never passed up
an opportunity for a policy zig-zag.
On the proximate cause of the divorce, Netanyahu stood firm: "You don't sent torah
students to jail. The prisons' religious wing is already full." Sarcastically he
noted that he understood that Kadima wanted to participate in this summer's
trend of setting itself on fire.
The trend got support from Bashir Assad, who promised that for every Israeli who
sets himself on fire, he'll do the same for 100 Syrians.
The summer has been so hot that even the Jerusalem forests decided to set
themselves on fire in protest to their National Insurance treatment. The
government's latest decree: "Tonight the temperature is going up 10%." It
is so hot that President Peres is looking for new countries with which he
can establish a cold peace and Raleb Madjadleh requested a meeting with
Anastacia Michaeli and people are joining Meretz to increase the chance
that the Arabs will throw us into the sea and Steinitz is even happy to rest
in Bibi's shadow.
In the economic news with the additional taxes on gasoline and beer, the new
government slogan is: "If you drink, don't drive, because you can't afford them both."
And Netanyahu asks: "What, they think I won't suffer from the price increases?
Do they know how much a price for a Kadima member is expected to go up?"
And the classic summer exodus of israelis to Greece and Spain allows them
both to figure out what Netanyahu is a warning them about and to keep the
Iranians from any expected retaliation of attempting to wipe us all off the map.
Finally, this week's release of the Hizbollah film documenting the kidnapping of
the Israeli soldiers that precipitated the Second Lebanese War will be
submitted for Oscar consideration as Israel's entry for best foreign film.
Thanks for watching!