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P R E D E S T I N E D
free fencing master
Our work has a peculiar dimension
that probably no other work has.
Actor´s profession has a similar dimension to some degree,
but ours contains it in extreme amount.
The fact is we die awfully lot.
It is like as if we constantly had a chance to make a re-run
although it is not true in reality, because we play from a script.
But for the instant there´s that moment,
where by some means not only the life of the character is torn asunder,
but there happen even such things,
where it comes to "an arrangement" of the last things of the man.
I have to admit it is interesting
that people write memoirs and similar things when they become old.
I myself noticed such a peculiar thing - when I was younger
I eagerly wished to write some things as an author
whether that meant a scholarly work or work of a fiction.
Now, in my old age, I start to feel indifference
towards such a literary self-realization.
So I do not know if it will change or not.
Maybe it is a last blast of action in me,
to accomplish for the last time something physical
and after that, when I finally decide to pack it up
it will come to me again and I will want to write... only God knows...
In any case those themes are so rich that for a man, if not for anything else
than for this, it will be a pity to die.
These are scripts, those here are about French school.
I have more of them on my account.
It is described here and also individually sketched...
For example this is "Grande de reverance",
because Frenchmen established such a codified salute.
It is already highly ornate with a lot of different curls.
And I think that this is what draws interest to it,
because it documents the historical change leading to a different life attitude.
Here is a French corner with French rapiers, which again...
it is a bit different culture
and it is so mixed up with all kind of things including this -
French fencing gloves for example.
There´s an overview of rapiers since 16th up to 18th and 19th Century.
For example, there is also a small salute
and it looks like this.
We stand in a basic stance and here comes...
... a tap of foot...
What I hold in my hand should be a scented handkerchief.
Today is let´s say fashionable,
and I am not really happy with that, because it is fashionable in a superficious way,
to read horoscopes, palm and such.
Though it is true that a man should probably follow his archetype,
which is given by horoscope to a certain degree.
It is not about reading your weekly horoscope
and act in a certain way afterwards -
it is probably not that topic.
But I think, that to know your own horoscope from the point of view
to know what is your basic nature
and to give it your own part is quite pleasant.
More importantly it is probably also a path to harmony.
Because it is worthless to make steps that do not siut me
as I am really different.
However, who knows himself so much to say who he exactly is?
That´s what it is all about.
That it is always necessary to find the essence and not the form.
Form is fine, form is beautiful,
form gives new dimension to things,
but essence is essence after all.
Kindgdom is something you reign over.
But I am also controlled by these things a little bit here.
Maybe it is my own sanctuary and it is also such...
Well you see how is this world crushing me.
These are all things that come to my household
and I have to sort them in some way
which I am not always able to do.
Here is a script, here an unfineshed book,
a copy of another book, bills and so on.
I am engineer with diploma
and I actually worked in the field I studied for some time,
but not directly.
I studied faculty of mechanical engineering,
partly because I was requested to, respectively my parents wished me to.
They gave me a choice to choose a school,
but it had to be a practical one.
I would have a solid work in my hands in future in this way -
they didn´t want to have an artist-mudlark from me.
Unfortunately their wish didn´t come true,
because I became exactly that mudlark after my studies had been finished.
A friend of mine keeps on making fun of me
that I come to wisit the present just to eat.
He says that I live in my own historical world.
Sometimes, when people ask
in which historical period I would like to live in
or say that I belong to that and that historical period,
I say - no, that is not true.
I don´t belong there,
because if I had to live in the past
I would have to choose only one certain period of the time.
However, the beautiful thing is that I am able to surf -
I just used such a modern word.
I visit the era I am interested into at the moment
or the one I am invited into
or I am more or less pushed into.
Because if the client orders something, I have to "transform".
Live every moment of your life as if it would be your last one.
Those moments of peace,
when there is a chance in all of that life race
and stress that surrounds us
just to sit down and look....
Recently, I was just sitting in the hippodrome
and I was watching foals feeding on the grass.
It was not about the animals themselves.
The point was that there was the forest
and sun was shining through the tress, causing shades on the foals.
There was gras in the background
and the whole evening was shrouded
in a haze of serenity and incredible ease.
And it´s just that life is worth living because
of the many benefits it gives to you.
Every single thing should be enjoyed in the form it is in.
"Nothing nice persists forever, eagerly take, what the moment gives to us.
How not to miss the promise of fortune? Youth and beauty lasts only for awhile."
Washing dishes is an example of rest.
It is really a great relaxation.
Man sees the purity,
he sees as the dirt disappers...
In the meanwhile, his thoughts run freely,
same as it was with Janko Kral (note: Slovak author).
That´s it, because it is both useful and so enjoyable.
And a clean table is a result.
I translate a book.
It is some U.S. author
and the book is about historical weapons.
I got fairly wide authority in this case,
which I welcomed very much,
because without it I would probably not even took the job.
So I do not have to thoroughly stick to the translation text,
because in my view the text
has a huge amount of factual inconsistencies.
So I have the chance
to make those things right,
badked even with the approval of the original publisher.
The book contains illustrated history of weapons.
It is a pretty tiring work.
It is a work that lacks the creative aspect,
which is very strong in me.
So for those few modification I could make
I needed a motivation and reason to make them.
Unless there is something to be corrected, one must stick to the text.
Well and that is probably not the right work for me.
I would say that this is mine
ideological-psychological self-potrait,
even thought it is not according to the appearance but according to the feeling.
Actually, I found out that if I went to study sculpture
I might have had more success.... God knows...
And only much much later I found out
that that here is also a genetic cause...
This is my grandfather.
This boy.
And this is my great grandfather.
Well, and he was a sculptor.
He made statues
and carried them on the horses.
And because he owned horses,
he also understood them,
he was even famous connoisseur of horses.
The local count hired him to ride his stallions.
When I bought a stallion at my old age
and started to learn how to ride,
my poor mom, now dead,
she burst into tears that I am out of my mind.
It was such a taboo,
not even discussed aloud, only in such a silent way.
So i thought that my parents are not interested into horses.
But in fact they avoided this subject.
Because when my great grandfather saddled horse in the stable,
the bull on the other side rustled up and run inside,
which cause the horse to rustle up also and trample down my great grandfather.
So the poor one died in this way.
That´s why the horses had been so much avoided.
Well, actually now I see that genetical strain,
from which comes my love for stallions,
because since my youth I never had anything to do with horses thanks to the said facts.
But also since my youth, I was astounded whenewer I saw a stallion
and I didn´t know what made me so excited about it.
It´s so, that if it is meant,
one has to face the curse.
If it would be my destiny by any chance,
I could fight it,
and if I would win - fine, and if I would loose - fine as well.
Because the destiny can´t be fooled.
The destiny can only be... can only be tackled.