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"Alice (Part 1)"
First Half Adaptation: Chamallow35
Second Half Adaptation: Chiner
Yame!
Thank you all.
That's it for tonight.
See you Tuesday.
Mr. Chase?
I believe
we have a private lesson.
How many classes have you
taken so far, Mr. Chase?
but I could always
do with more.
You know
I'm only part-time.
You'll have
to see another instructor.
Who would you recommend?
Hajime.
Tim Roberts
is a very good instructor.
I heard he has a mean streak.
What about Jenny Moyers?
She's no good for you.
- Why not?
- She's too
Pretty?
Ow!
Alice, that really hurt!
I'm sorry, honey.
Where?
Everywhere.
Ooh.
Should I kiss it better?
Better?
The pain is
lower down.
No, don't get up!
I need medical attention.
Come on.
So, tonight
My mother is
so looking forward to it.
Good for your mom.
I am, too.
What have you told her
about me?
Just that your leg-kicks
need work.
It's true.
Can you spare
some change, ma'am?
No, but I've got these.
Nope
Nope.
Absolutely no.
Where are these from?
Kokatahi.
Where's that?
Is that Hawaii?
New Zealand.
Mm, nice.
If Daddy's in New Zealand,
maybe I'll go
looking for him myself.
Well, he's not in Kokatahi.
Should I bring out
the fine china?
Well, I thought you were
excited to meet him?
I am!
I only hope it's not
the kiss of death
again.
What are you talking about?
Alice,
you know it's true.
You no sooner
bring a guy home
than you come up
with a million reasons
why he should
never come back.
Well this one's different.
Good evening.
Um, the roses, please?
Thank you.
Hey, you.
We were just
talking about you.
Need more time?
No, I think we covered it.
Come in.
For me?
For both of you.
How lovely.
This is my mom Carol,
and
Jack.
Jack.
Wonderful to meet you
at last.
Same here.
Let me put these
in water.
Hang on.
This one is for you.
Dinner's gonna be 20 minutes,
so, you two,
entertain yourselves.
and then we'll re-do
the floors
sometime this fall.
Well, you have
a beautiful home.
Thank you.
It feels like
we've been here forever,
because we have.
It's been the two of us
for, what?
I guess almost
Alice is meticulous
with dates.
Yeah.
Well, that one.
That's when?
Her father
disappeared on us.
Yes, of course.
Listen, my show
is about to start,
and I think
the two of you
can handle being without me
for a little while,
so I'm going
to say goodnight.
Thank you for dinner.
It was a treat.
You're very welcome.
All right, sweetheart,
you can just leave
everything on the table.
- Night, Mom.
- Night.
I didn't mean to do
the family-baggage thing.
No, it's fine. I
I want to know
all about you.
What's up?
How would you like
to meet my family?
Are they coming to town?
No.
We'd have to go there.
Oh uh okay.
- When?
- How about tonight?
- Are you crazy?
- It'll be an adventure.
Some things are more exciting
on the spur of the moment,
don't you think?
No
Not when they involve
meeting your parents.
Jack, I would have to get
myself together, and
Alice, you're perfect
as you are,
and we could
be back by
Monday morning.
I know nothing
about them. I'm
What if they don't
approve of me?
They'll, uh
They'll approve of you
when they see you
with this.
It's got
a hidden catch.
Wow, it looks really old.
It's been in my family
a very long time.
- Are you giving me this?
- Would you like to try it on?
Jack, a ring
means something.
This is too fast.
No, it's way too fast.
Okay.
I'm sorry,
I got the wrong idea.
Maybe after
you've seen my home,
- met my friends
- No, I can't come with you, Jack.
Not tonight.
Maybe we should just take it
easy for a while
See how we feel in
a few days, and
- Alice, I--
- Just give me some time.
Goodbye, Jack.
Was it
a diamond ring?
No
But it looked
incredibly valuable.
So after weighing all
the possible cons
with all the unlikely pros,
you just kicked him out?
I don't need the lecture.
Alice
Honey, listen.
Just because Daddy left
doesn't mean they all will.
Well
The ring!
He slipped it
in my pocket.
There's no way.
Jack!
Jack!
I'm afraid he's gone.
Who are you?
A friend of Jack's.
I'm here to help him.
Then why didn't you?
Who are those guys?
Jack took something that
didn't belong to him.
We need it back.
What are you talking about?
The ring, Alice.
How do you know
my name?
Where have you
taken Jack?
He's quite safe.
Then bring him back and
let him tell me himself.
I'm afraid he's got to go
back with me to face charges.
So you do have it.
No!
Where have you
taken Jack?
Wait!
Hey!
Stop!
Hello?
Hey!
Wait!
What is this place?
Hey!
Wait!
Jack.
Come on!
Oh, my God.
Spare some change, ma'am?
No, but I've got these.
What's happened to you?
Hey!
Stop!
Stop!
Good. We have her.
- Take them away.
- Let me out of this thing!
Temper, temper.
What the hell
is this place?
Mm, you shouldn't have come
after me, little Oyster.
Hey!
Come back here!
Must dash.
Running late.
Don't even think about it,
buddy.
You're an Oyster!
Just put the knife away.
I don't want nothin'
to do with you,
you hear?
I'm a workin' man.
I don't want no trouble.
Suits see us together,
we both be dead.
Wait!
I need directions, sir!
Go 'way.
Can't help no Oyster.
I'll pay you!
Look, I have some money.
What's that?
"Bucks?"
I'm looking for a man
who was kidnapped
and brought here.
If you help me
find him
it's yours.
An Oyster like you?
Yeah.
I'm Alice.
"The" Alice?
The Alice of legend?
Uh, you're kind
of freaking me out. Um
The guy that
I'm looking for,
he's probably locked inside
that flying-beetle thing.
Do you know
where it's headed?
You come with me.
Quick, quick!
Thanks,
but, no, no, I'm good.
Oh, they see you, Oyster,
you dead.
They? Who's "they?"
First, I go.
Count 10, then follow, okay?
- No, what's in there?
- A man who knows!
Knows what?
Wait!
I have an important
announcement!
A new tea has just
come on the market.
Ever get
that guilty feeling?
Huh?
Maybe you
abandoned the wife
and kids and
left 'em without a crumb
to split between them?
Or maybe
you killed someone?
A relative
or a neighbor
and it's left that niggling feeling
in the pit of your stomach
that's growing little by little
into a dull,
throbbing pain
Gnawing away at you
undermining
your confidence
and making you feel sick
and worthless
and fearful?
Well, fear no longer!
Because "Clear Conscience"
has finally arrived!
The latest wonder of wonder
from that remarkable
wonder of all wonders
the Hearts Casino!
This way.
Would you like
a cup of tea?
No, thank you.
Who are you?
A friend
I hope.
I run the tea shop.
See?
How did you break out
of Scarab?
The beetle thing?
I used my hair pin
and
Fell?
As you can see,
I'm drenched.
This place
Where--
What is it?
Wonderland.
That's a story
in a kid's book.
Does this look like
a kid's story to you?
- No.
- It's changed a lot since then.
Oh, so you're saying
that it was real?
You Oysters don't know how to
find us, so-- excuse me.
You tell yourself
that we don't exist,
and, quite frankly,
- I like to keep it that way.
- Why am I an "Oyster?"
- This?
- That's not gonna come off.
Sorry.
Only people from
your world turn green
when burned by the light.
It's the Suits' way
of brandin' their catch,
and they call you
"Oysters"
because of
the shiny little pearls
that you all carry inside.
What do you mean,
"pearls?"
She's Alice!
Tell him who you are.
Wow.
Really?
"Ratty" here
thinks you're Alice
of legend.
Who?
The last, um
The last time
a girl called Alice
came here
from your world,
she brought down the whole
House of Cards. Oh, yeah.
Made quite an impression
Although it was 150 years ago.
It can't be the same girl!
Oysters don't even
live that long.
- I still want a good price.
- Wait a minute. I am not for sale.
Not on the grass!
Alright.
Here we are.
Pink nectar
Filled with the thrill
of human excitement.
of every last drop
of hullabaloo
so that you, Ratty, can
taste what it feels like
to win just once.
Warning.
Don't take it
on an empty stomach,
and only one tiny
little drop at a time,
otherwise the experience
might burst
your shriveled-up
little heart. Got it?
- Got it.
- Good. Go.
- He really smells.
- "Oysters were drained?"
What do you mean,
"drained?"
Ratty tells me
you're looking for someone.
His name is
Jack Chase.
He was taken by a man
with a white rabbit on his lapel.
I see.
"The White Rabbit" is an organization
controlled by the Suits.
They travel back and forth
through the Looking-Glass and
vanish people
from your world to ours.
Why?
To use
in the casino.
"Use?"
Did I say "use"?
Slip of the tongue.
They're fine.
You know, they keep them
alive, and
moderately happy.
How do I get
to this casino?
That's the thing.
You don't.
Way too dangerous.
But
I know
some people who
know some
Well, other people
If you know what I mean.
It's one of
the privileges of
running a tea shop.
Lighten up.
You
should wear this.
It'll cover the glow
and stop you
from catching a cold.
I have a little money,
but I understand
you don't use that here?
Pieces of paper
- Pointless.
- Then why would you help me?
Do I need a reason to help
a pretty girl in a very wet dress?
I see.
You don't trust me.
Fine!
I am genuinely hurt.
Do you know
why they call me "Hatter?"
Because you wear a hat?
No.
Because I'm always there
when they "pass the hat"
So to speak.
Philanthropy,
generosity
I mean, you-- you can
call it what you will.
It's who I am,
and, right now,
looking at you there, there's
nothing I want more than to
help you find
- Jack.
- Jack!
And return you both
to your charming world
of children's stories.
I don't believe you.
I know
what you're thinking.
If I'm the frying pan,
then that, out there,
is the fire.
I'll be square with ya. I know
people who like to help your kind,
and if, every once in a while,
I scratch their back
- They'll scratch yours?
- Precisely!
Lot of scratchin'.
Do try to keep up.
You're late.
I know.
I'm sorry.
Black Jack
Black Jack
Black Jack
Everyone's a winner.
The time has come,
Walrus, old friend,
to test our many stills.
The "oohs", the "ahhs,"
the healing drops,
the passions, the thrills
and see how joy
and awe and ***
can all be turned
to pills.
What is it?
Uh, the king requests
your presence, Carpenter.
Thank you.
What's the matter?
I've got a thing
about heights.
Why couldn't you guys build
the city on the ground?
Look at me.
Alice?
Try not to look down.
Okay?
Scarab just brought in
the last shipment of Oysters.
- How many?
- 20.
Make the most of them.
We won't be getting any more
until we find that ring
and restart
the Looking-Glass.
There was just enough juice
left in it for the last sortie,
and the queen
would like you to harvest
more unusual emotions.
It--It's difficult enough
getting the simple ones.
You know it takes
a thousand thrills
to make
just the tiniest drop.
People want to experience
more exotic wonders
Surprise
adoration
ecstasy calm
Elation!
Now, keepin'
the masses happy
is a very great
responsibility, Carpenter,
and one that weighs
heavy on my shoulders.
If our people don't feel
what they want to feel
when they want
to feel it
Well, the whole system
breaks down!
Instant gratification
is a very
complex business.
That's why we have
to keep moving forward,
forever discovering
more exotic wonders.
Ah! There you are!
Oh, joy.
Oh, bright day!
Finally,
and at last! Oh
How do you open
this thing?
I don't know, Majesty.
Well, there's a hidden catch
somewhere,
but I can
never remember!
Okay.
Summon the Queen.
And 10!
Everyone's a winner!
This is such a rush!
That one talked.
Oh, my God!
What's the time?
I've got to pick up
my kids!
We have
a conscious one here.
I better see
if I can find the car.
I can't move my
- What's going on here?
- Ma'am?
Oh! Hello!
My feet
seem to be stuck.
Oh There's nothing wrong
with your feet, ma'am.
Tell you what.
Why don't you come with us?
We'll help you find
what you're looking for.
My kids. I think
I have kids, a family.
I'm pretty sure
my husband's a Taurus.
Do you know my name?
I can't remember
my name for some reason!
You don't need to bother with
technical things like that, ma'am.
What's wrong?
She's regaining her faculties.
Do you know my name?
Something beginning
with a "B," I think.
Take her
to the waiting room.
Come with us.
Did you talk?
You shouldn't have talked.
I was worried
about my kids.
We all have family
somewhere.
- I got to find my car.
- You can't leave.
None of us can.
I'm returning a library book.
It's a work of Edwin and Morcar.
How does the little crocodile
improve his shining tail?
"He pours water of the Nile
on every golden scale."
Come on, be quick.
Hello, duck.
It's all right.
Wait
Why don't we just
put these things away?
- Come on, you know me well enough.
- We have our orders.
Keep that right hand
where we can see it!
It's just flesh and blood.
Right.
We've all seen what you can
do with that sledgehammer.
Did you like the box of comfits
I brought you guys last week?
The cured meats
and the cheese?
They're all gone.
Well, if you don't treat me
with a little respect,
you won't get
another crumb.
Sorry, Hatter.
Everyone's a little jumpy.
Everyone's
always a little jumpy.
Where are we?
The Great Library.
There's 5,000 years of
history hidden here
Art
Literature
Law.
Rescued when the Queen
of Hearts seized power.
She'd like nothing more than
to see this burnt to nothin'.
Who are those poor people?
Refugees.
Those who don't want
to be a part
of Queen's world
of instant gratification.
We give them shelter and try
to feed them as best we can, but
it is dangerous.
If the Queen found out,
they wouldn't stand a chance.
Why does she want
to destroy all of this?
Wisdom
is her biggest threat.
She controls people
with a quick fix.
How are all
my lovely Suits today?
We are very happy, ma'am.
How nice.
You're all
so clever and pretty.
We've found
the Stone of Wonderland.
Where is it?
We will have the Looking-Glass
up and running in no time,
and, this time, we'll pull
in 50 or 100 Oysters a day.
What a charming
practical joke.
My dear?
Why am I not surprised?
The girl!
The ring, Alice.
Girl?
Agent White took the box
from a girl, an Oyster.
She must have the ring.
Yes.
Where is she now?
She um
escaped.
What exactly
do you mean, "escaped"?
Some of the honeycomb containers
are getting a little old.
We have renovations planned
in next year's budget, but
An Oyster
is running around Wonderland
with my ring?
- We'll find her!
- Oh, we'll find her, all right.
But you, Agent White,
will take no further part.
- His head, ma'am?
- Yes, of course. What else? His foot?
I'll put all Suits
on standby.
No! It will only alert
the Resistance.
The last thing we want is to feed
that riff-raff a grain of encouragement.
No, we need someone who can
work quietly, behind the scenes
Someone cold-blooded,
ruthless
criminally insane.
Is Mad March alive yet?
She's looking
for her boyfriend,
a "Jack Chance."
Chase
His name is Jack Chase.
She needs help.
- I thought of you, Dodo.
- Really?
And why would I want
to help your Oyster
when you know that bringing her
here puts us all at risk?
Oh, please.
I've spent years smuggling
more dangerous things
than this down here.
You know
what rankles most
about blood-sucking carpet
baggers like you, Hatter?
Your gall.
While we risk our lives
trying to bring freedom
to ungrateful leeches
like you,
you swan about,
living the good life.
Stop your crowing.
You know
I'm on your side.
I'm sure you say that
to all your enemies.
I do what's necessary.
I kiss what butts need kissing
so your machine stays oiled.
Look, if you can't help me,
I'll just leave.
Headstrong, isn't she?
Can you help me
get Jack out of the casino?
I don't see how.
The resistance has contacts
inside the casino, right?
No comment.
Use them
to find her guy.
She can pay you,
but I want
my usual cut up front.
Pay me?
Pay me with what?
Show him the rock, Alice.
What?
The ring
on your finger.
No.
That is off-limits!
- It's all you have, Alice.
- No!
It's not possible.
Where did you get it?
It's none of your business.
It's not for sale.
- Where did you get it?
- What what is it?
Your Oyster is wearing
the Stone of Wonderland!
- It's impossible.
- I'm never wrong.
Where did you get it, Alice?
- Jack gave it to me.
- Jack?
Jack Chase,
the guy we're looking for.
- Well, where did he get it?
- I don't know!
- Give it to me!
- No!
- Take her out!
- Are you crazy?
Stop! Just wait!
You're in way
over your head, Hatter.
Just give me one second
to talk to her, okay?
It controls
the Looking-Glass.
You know that.
Calm down.
Put the gun away.
I'm sure we can all
get what we want here.
Look, no one
is getting this ring!
We've been waiting for years
for a break like this,
and now
it falls into our laps.
Stop waving that thing around.
You're scaring everyone!
If we can return the Oysters
back to their world,
maybe
we can save ours.
Just put the gun down!
Think about it!
The Queen
reduced to mopping floors.
It'll be just
like the old days.
Justice, reason
and the rule of law!
Stop this!
No!
You shot Hatter!
We don't need him
anymore.
The ring is our ticket
out of here.
Leave her alone
or believe me, the next one
will be aimed at your head!
Look, Hatter.
This is a game changer.
I'll give you three times
your price.
You name it!
Back off!
If you let her
leave with the ring,
I'll have every member
of the Resistance
hunting you down.
You'll be dead
before teatime!
And that's the thanks
I get, huh?
For keeping you bums fed and
watered all these years?
Hatter!
It's the blue button!
Go, Alice!
Hurry up and
push the blue button!
Go!
Lucky.
Come on, Hatter.
How did you do that?
No!
How bad is it?
Body armour.
You're not even wounded.
You lied to me!
- I was trying to help you.
- By selling my ring?
I didn't know it was
the Stone of Wonderland, did I?
Well, you could have asked me
before bringing me here.
He wouldn't have come.
You're damn right,
I wouldn't.
He almost killed me!
- Yeah, well, he actually shot me!
- Yeah, now tell me the truth.
What is
the Stone of Wonderland?
It's a big deal.
It was mined
by the ancient knights
to power the Looking-Glass.
The door that connects
our world to yours.
"Knights?"
They were wiped out
a long time ago by the Queen.
She took the Looking-Glass
and of course,
the Stone.
How did Jack
get hold of it?
What now?
The Queen wishes to know
whether you've revived Mad March.
The Queen's favorite assassin?
Oh yes, of course.
Yeah.
No, I'm still working on it.
Where is he?
Where's his head?
That's the part
I'm still working on.
Well, I'll try to arrange an
extension of, say, an hour.
Are you kidding?
This will take weeks.
- Well, the Queen wants him now.
- Tough!
The bio-molecular transfistropia
is a delicate and complex
process which requires time.
Besides which
the subject is dead.
Is that what you'd like
me to tell the Queen?
- Tough.
- No, but
Then have him ready
in an hour.
Whoa.
Where do you think
you're going?
Anywhere, but here.
There are no-go areas
in this town.
I don't believe
this is happening.
I mean, this place--
You people
I mean,
this is all too weird.
Listen, calm down.
I'm going to try
and get you home, okay?
- Really?
- Yes, really. I could--
Could you just
keep still?
And what's in it
for you?
Let me guess,
you want
your "usual cut up front?"
I don't blame you
for being angry.
- I acted impetuously
- No, selfishly.
You acted selfishly!
Whatever word
you want to use!
Let me make it
up to you.
Alice, this is
a dangerous place.
Trust me, you're gonna
need my help.
Well, where is he?
I don't see him.
Before I present
Mad March,
I-I feel I should warn
- Prepare you.
- What?
In the interest of
expediency,
I've had to make some
technical adjustments.
What are you talking about?
Shortcuts.
How short?
What on Earth
have you done to him?
Uh, think of him
as a hybrid, Majesty.
In many ways, he is
better than before.
We don't need
a user manual, do we?
I hate user manuals.
Not too close.
He's still finding his way.
Does he have
all his old skills?
Forensics
Tracking
Homicidal mania?
I believe so.
"Believe so?"
There wasn't much time
for testing.
Does he speak?
Let's try him out, then.
Mad March
How are you today?
*** off,
you cow.
Excellent!
He's good as new!
Now then Marchy,
I need you
to find someone
A girl.
Not interested.
I see.
How disappointing.
Well, in that case,
we'll just have
to find another use for you.
Lets put him
in the gaming room,
where the geeks
can have fun with him.
What?
What else am I
to do with you?
I'm devastated truly.
Aw. That's too bad.
Take him away.
He's obviously
past his prime.
Okay. Okay!
Tell me about this broad.
The Looking-Glass is the only way
to get you back home
And it is here in the city,
but it's the most heavily guarded
piece of kit in Wonderland.
I've got
to find Jack first.
Have you not heard
a word I've said?
I don't know how he got
mixed up in this,
but I know
that he's not a thief.
He was trying to
surprise me,
or sweep me off my feet,
and.. so, somehow, he got
a hold of this ring,
and it has landed him in
a pile of trouble.
If it wasn't for me,
he would be home safe.
How did he get hold
of it?
Well, I don't know.
The point is
I'm the only one who can
get him out of this mess.
How'd you figure
that out?
Well, I've got the ring.
I can use it to
negotiate his release.
- Oh, no. No. You
- No?
No, you can't negotiate
with the Queen.
She's crazy.
You have
to cut your losses.
You get the hell
out of here
while you still can.
No, I can't
just abandon Jack.
I mean, he's innocent.
And besides, I like him.
Oh, you like him?
Yes.
A lot!
Trust me,
I--I know a thing or two
about liking people,
and, in time,
after much chocolate
and cream cake,
like, turns into, what was
his name again?
No, not in my world.
Look, I have a bad record
with liking guys
There's a shock.
Well, and
this is the first one
that has meant anything.
There's no way that
I'm going
to give him up now.
Stay close.
Hey. Hey!
Look at me!
Did you see her? Hey!
Get out of here!
Hey. You!
What about you?
What did you see, huh?
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I asked
- She told you she was Alice.
- Yes.
If you work with rats
long enough,
you can turn
into one, eh?
What is that?
Nothing
I've ever seen before.
Wait
No, it can't be.
Sir?
Sir!
Suits!
Sir?
What?
We should run.
Run!
Quickly!
Come on!
That way.
Down here!
My smuggling boat.
Quickly!
Hang on.
There's a knack to this.
Which, apparently,
I've never learned!
Come on!
Damn!
I'll call for a Scarab.
Where is the casino?
I already told you can't
negotiate with the Queen.
But
The White Rabbit
is a different kettle of onions.
Perhaps they'll do a deal.
It's a long shot,
but it's the only one
we've got.
We?
I don't think
you know this, Alice,
but my shop
was ransacked.
I'm homeless.
I am a target now,
not only for the Suits,
but for the Resistance
as well,
and there's only so many places
in Wonderland that I can hide.
The way I see it, I've only
got one option
- Which is?
- Go back with you
to your world.
Before we do anything,
we have to shake
that royal flush.
They are heading
for the shore.
I don't know who that weirdo is
leading the posse,
but he's got one hell
of a nose for blood.
And this is the place
to find it.
What was that?
There's things in these woods
that defy imagination.
Come on,
we haven't got much time.
Look
We can't shake
the posse.
We can't fight them either.
There's only one thing
left to try.
What's that?
Lead them into a trap.
Keep your breathing shallow.
Did you hear that?
Yep, you should find a tree
that you can climb.
What? Why?
The trap we talked about?
This is it.
I'm the bait.
Go!
Wait!
What is it?
Tell me!
It's a Jabberwock.
What?
Alice,
less of the questions.
Just get going.
You're going to lead this thing
back to the posse?
Yes, after he gets
a good look at me!
Now, could you just
please go?
That's your plan?
If you don't
Run.
Not that way!
Alice!
Hey!
Come on!
You okay?
- Yeah.
- Good.
Come on!
You okay?
Just about.
Stay still.
Vermin!
Saboteurs!
Anarchists!
I was this close
to catching him!
This close!
Degenerate bag-heads!
That's it.
This way.
Saboteurs!
Pig-pushing clots!
Bug-bashers!
Who the hell are you?
I am a knight.
The White Knight,
to be precise.
Sir Charles Eustace Fothoringhay
Le Malvois the Third.
Who are you?
I'm Alice.
Alice?
The Alice?
The Alice?
No. Just Alice.
Just Alice?
I thought all you guys were
wiped out years ago.
Well, you thought wrong.
As you can see,
I'm as fit as a butcher's dog.
Are there any others
like you?
Certainly not!
I'm a one-off.
My nan used to say
that if I were the only eligible
bachelor left in the world
I'd be an old maid.
Or wall-flower
who'd polish my escutcheon.
No, I meant are there any other
knights in these woods
Your comrades in arms?
Heavens, no.
Are you mad?
We were all wiped out
years ago.
You dug that pit
on your own?
You think I'm too old?
Well, let me tell you
something, knugface
Youth is vastly overrated!
I may have put on
a few years,
but I'm crafty.
I have a very inventive
and calculating mind
thats high with groundbreaking
state of the art ideas.
I invent all sorts of things.
The beehive-mousetrap,
for instance.
This here pit, as you so
rudely call it,
is in fact my third attempt at
the gravity assisted snare, Mark IV.
He's mad
as a box of frogs.
How the hell
have you survived?
Oh, yes!
I am a knight
And I'm an inventor,
as I said,
but, if I'm honest,
it's strictly only
on a part time basis.
You don't say!
And I dabble in the black arts,
now and then
Soothsaying
toenail readings--
That sort of thing.
Here, let me show you!
Give me your palm.
Get off!
What's that
on your finger?
Nothing.
It's the sacred ring.
The Stone of Wonderland.
Our ring!
Don't get too exited,
grand dad.
The ring stays
on the lady's finger, okay?
It is meant to be!
This time, this place,
this meeting
in the woods
Okay, we need
to get away from him
before he gets us killed.
But maybe he can help us.
Have you forgotten
about the weirdo
that's tailing us?
This freak show
is going to draw
his attention for sure.
If this knight has survived
out here for this long,
maybe he knows
a thing or two.
Listen, Charlie, we have some
very bad men following us
who want to kill us
and steal the ring.
Do you know anywhere
we can lay low for a while?
The stars are aligned
in a cosmic-ray of hope!
And you want
to put your faith in him?
Yes.
He might be nuts
and 150 years old,
and dressed like a car crash,
but he's a survivor.
And I'm not deaf!
Just Alice
I will be honored
to escort you,
your goods
and vassal
to my sacred kingdom.
Did he just called me
a "vassal"?
Even works over mud.
Wiping the tracks
clean away.
Maybe senile Sam does have
a trick or two up his, uh
"Escutcheon."
Welcome
to the Kingdom
of the Knights.
Well, well
What do you know.
Before the war,
the Queen of Hearts
this was once
the greatest city in the realm.
The Red King
and his elected council
ruled Wonderland with
the wisdom of the ancients.
And the Hearts
destroyed everything?
We lived in harmony for
a thousand years,
but when the queen
came to power
She just wanted
to feel the good
not the bad.
Believe it or not,
this was once
the throne room.
Sadly,
all that's left now
is the throne.
That was good, Charlie.
What was it?
A barbecued borogove.
They're the devil
to catch,
but well worth the trouble,
don't you think?
When in Rome
Shan't be long.
What I want
to know is
how we're going to cut a deal
with the White Rabbit.
I did say
it was a longshot
but as long
as you got that ring,
you've got a chance.
You!
What happened to we?
I can't leave, Alice.
Wonderland's my home.
I can't just abandon it,
despite what I said.
I have to stay
and fight.
What?
Seeing all this--
Look
This great kingdom and what--
what has become of it.
It's a wake-up call,
to be honest.
My people
I mean, the hundreds of refugees
that are all hiding underground,
they're all counting
on me.
Didn't that Dodo guy
say he was going to have you
hunted down and killed?
Yep.
But
I'm thinking if I turn up
with the ring,
he might forgive me.
So that's what
this is about
Don't worry.
I'll get you home,
safe and sound first.
And Jack?
You have to forget
about Jack.
We'll never get him out
of the Casino alive
and trying-- it's only going
to set off alarm bells.
That will make
your escape impossible!
Okay, so you were just
leading me on, back there?
Just believe me.
It will be suicide.
Jack's a lucky guy.
What?
Nothing.
Look, it's late.
And we all need
our rest.
We can argue about this
tomorrow.
Yeah?
Dinah?
Dinah
You're alive?
What are you doing here?
Dinah.
Dinah?
Dad?
Dad?
Daddy?
Daddy
What was that?
That's the Early Warning System!
Someone has broken
through the perimeter!
Where's Alice?
Battle stations!
Sound the order of Seraphim!
Drum!
No.
No!
I need a horse.
Which way should we go?
You don't have to come, Charlie.
This isn't your fight.
You couldn't be more wrong!
You led the Alice of legend
to me for a reason.
Call it what you will--
Divinity, fate,
an alignment of forces beyond
mortal understanding.
In time, you'll see that
I am the true paladin here,
and you are merely
a harbinger.
And besides, you
You'll never find her
without my help.
Remember
I'm also well versed
in the black arts.
We shall be guided
by my psychic connection
to the mysterious things
that bind mankind
to the outer realm.
Galadoon de Booshe.
You're going the road wrong way,
harbinger!
We should go west.
You go west.
I'm going east.
Why?
She's going
to the Hearts Casino.
But that's certain death.
Why would she go there?
Hello, Alice!
You look like you can use
a little company.
She's lying,
of course.
We could search her again,
of course
More
thoroughly.
It won't do any good.
Oh, I don't know
about that.
Winston!
Where did you hide it, girl?
I told you, I don't know
what you're talking about.
I've never worn a ring
in my life.
We know Jack gave you
the ring, Alice.
The White Rabbit told us,
heaven rest his soul.
But the question is:
Did you leave it
in your world?
Winston, you idiot!
Now she knows
we don't know whether
she brought it with her!
Ah that's right.
Sorry, dearest.
This interrogation bussiness
is very tricky.
Wait!
Is she really that clever?
Oh, yes.
I think
she just may be.
You walked into Mad March's trap
on purpose, didn't you?
You wanted him
to catch you,
because you didn't know
your way here.
You'd only do that,
of course,
if you'd hidden
the ring first,
somewhere very discreet.
Am I right?
Your plan was to cut a deal
with one of my cohorts,
make your demands,
and return the ring only
when they'd been met.
But suddenly,
you find yourself
face to face
with the Queen of Hearts
herself.
The most powerful woman in
the history of literature
and you don't know whether
you can go through with it.
You've lost your nerve.
That about sums it up,
doesn't it?
No.
No?
I haven't lost my nerve.
Now we've got her
where we want her.
So, then, Alice,
my dear
What are your demands?
I want you to free
my boyfriend, Jack Chase,
and send us both home.
When we're certain
that we're safe,
I'll tell you
where the ring is.
I see.
Number Nine.
Go and fetch this
Jack Chase.
But, ma'am
Do as you're told.
What a coincidence.
It appeares that Jack Chase was
waiting just outside the door.
Me wonders why.
Jack?
Are you alright?
I'm fine.
What are you doing here?
We found her running
around the forest
all on her tod,
so I brought her here.
I was very curious
to see what sort of tart
my son is hanging around
with these days.
Son?
You're her son?
His real name is
Jack Heart.
He lied to you
about that too.
- Mother
- Don't "mother" me,
you odious quizling.
Your girlfriend has hidden
the Stone of Wonderland
out there
in the bushes somewhere.
She's not my girlfriend.
She's nothing to me.
Jack?
So why did you
give her my ring?
As I've said
a thousand times before,
I didn't gave it to her.
She took it.
She was an affair,
that's all.
Someone to pass
the time with
while I explored
her world.
I took the ring, so's to be certain,
I'd have the power to return.
Little did I know,
she'd go through my things
while I slept.
Alice
Tell us where you hid
the ring.
What?
I didn't ask you
to come here.
I certainly didn't ask you
to hide the ring, so
Come on.
Tell everyone where it is.
I won't tell anyone
where it is
until you've taken me
home.
Perhaps that's not
such a bad idea.
If I take her home,
you'll be sure
to get it back.
Brilliant.
The only little niggeries
Well,
I wouldn't trust you
if you told me the sun was round.
Sadly, we've had to shut
the Looking-Glass altogether now.
I'm sure we can run over
the lovely girl
without having
to go all the way back
to smelly old
home-sweet-home.
Ah look who's here.
Duchess.
Majesty meow.
Jack, have you nothing
to say to your fiancé?
What?
Don't tell me
Jack forgot to mention
his life-long love,
his wildly romantic engagement
and upcoming wedding?
So this is
I'm afraid so.
Really?
I'm starting to wonder
about your taste, Jack.
But if you think
she's pretty,
what must you think
of me?
He thinks you're the most
gorgeous creature in the world.
That's why
he's marrying you.
You see, Alice, dear,
Jack's been engaged
for months now.
His flight through
the Looking-Glass
was no more
than a diversion,
a stag spree,
a wave goodbye
to his mischievous youth.
You're going to tell us
where you hid the ring
and then you're going
to wish
you had never laid eyes
on my son.
Well, I'd better run.
Goodbye, Alice.
I forgive you
for taking the ring.
I know you're upset
with me.
And I don't blame you.
He's here.
Goodbye.
Duchess?
Take her
to the Truth Room.
Yes, ma'am.
Dad?
Daddy!
Keep moving.
He's here.
Who is she, Jack?
Jealous?
Of course I am.
Then help
get me out of here.
You know
I can't do that,
but, maybe
if you tell me
what you're up to
I'm not up to anything.
Darling,
maybe we shouldn't have
any secrets between us.
I know
what you're thinking,
but it isn't so,
no how.
Contrarywise,
if it weren't so,
it might be
and if were so,
it would be
but as it isn't,
it ain't.
That's logic.
I am Dr. Dee,
and this is my brother
Dr. Dum.
Our job is
to open you up,
pull everything out,
until we find the very thing
we're looking for.
Relax.
Let your mind go.
Allow yourself to fall
into a deep sleep.
Dad?
How old are you?
But you are alone
in the house.
Why have you been
left alone?
Dad's left.
Mom's asking the neighbour
to take care of me
so that she can
look for him.
Did he say goodbye?
No.
Why don't you see if he's left you
something in his study?
No.
Why not?
I'm scared to go in there.
Nonsense.
Humpty-Dumpty
sat on the wall
Humpty-Dumpty
had a great fall
All the King's horses
And all the King's Men
Couldn't put Humpty
together again
Now it's time
for a battle.
Let's see if we can find
a little lever
and pry the tasty Oyster open.
No!
Please! No!
Well, now
It looks like Daddy left you
with a fear of heights.
This isn't happening.
It's all in my head.
It's just a dream.
It's just a dream.
I just have to wake up.
It's real!
Of course it's real.
But I'll die!
Undoubtedly.
But don't you want to know
where I've hidden the ring?
Not really.
This is much more fun.
Are you crazy?
Cynically insane.