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English subs by couchpotato812
AISA
MC 40
HUAI QIU
DJ CHUNG HUA
HERE'S A RECORD STORE Universal Music artists' "One Day Shopkeeper" event
You two haven't released your new album yet...
So if the host asks, "What are Y2J selling today?"
Selling sex!
I support you saying that.
No, say you're here to support Da Mouth...
That's what rockers do, don't make a big deal of it.
What did she say?
Selling booties.
I think selling sex is better.
[Such brave words] Lian!
He meant chunlian. *Chunlian = Chinese New Year Couplet scrolls*
Today we're here to mai chun...lian! *mai chun = prostituting mai chunlian = selling couplet scrolls*
Why do you have to point at the store's founder when you say that?
Cuz there's a chunlian right there! [Founder of the store]
I wasn't pointing at him!
You do something like that, what will our founder think up in heaven?!
[Very enraged] You do something like that, what will our founder think up in heaven?!
That's true, isn't it?
Don't be mad. Look how shy he is.
Oh, yeah.
He's so shy, he's like...
We're sorry. Please don't mind the aboriginal guy.
You two are really so classless.
Don't give me that.
Don't give me that.
Stop acting all lady-like.
Take off the mask and come play with us.
You guys want popsicles?
Don't take it.
I wasn't going to.
Just seeing this brings back childhood memories.
There's nothing inside!
[Didn't you tell them not to take any?]
Oh, there really isn't! [Didn't you tell them not to take any?]
You guys seen those homicides in the news?
Ah, a head!
[Likes to act]
That's a lame joke!
Sorry, Xiao Yang ge!
[Looks just like Universal Records crew member, Xiao Yang ge]
He's really shy.
There's really a resemblance.
Hey, Xiao Yang ge's calling you now.
Hello? Xiao Yang ge?
[Calculator] Hello? Xiao Yang ge?
[Calculator] Yes?
Were you in this store 60 years ago?
Wow, a certificate from 1985.
So it was from...
Ohh, more than a hundred years ago.
What the hell were you calculating?!
Did you only count the first two digits?!
I got you!
Right, it's 1985, not 1885.
I've been watching period dramas lately.
Getting my eras all mixed up.
[Cannot open]
How do I open this?!
-Are you being serious? -Is this a prank?
I don't even know what to say to that anymore.
And he says I don't have a brain.
Exactly who is the one without a brain here?
[The juniors of the company, Circus, arriving late] Look at you guys, last to arrive.
These days the juniors are the last to arrive eh?
Very diva-like.
On top of that, only 2 came, not the whole group.
We're sorry, it's cuz as juniors we're poorer.
-We walked here. -***!
Stop bullshitting, you idiot!
[Old act]
Hello?! [Old act]
This clearly shows why Lai Ming Wei cannot be a host.
Hosts wouldn't use the same act twice!
You can't use it twice, and on the same network...
Lemme tell you, usually the second time you pick up an iron, got it?
-Yeah! -You still picking up calculators?
Jeeze!
If you're gonna use the same act, at least use it on different networks.
[Changes to scissors]
That's so lame.
And now, Da Mouth will take us into the lives of farmers.
The topic today is: teach everyone how to harvest good daikons.
That's right!
*singing an old Minnan language folk song about grandparents' farm lives*
[Daikon] *singing an old Minnan language folk song about grandparents' farm lives*
*singing an old Minnan language folk song about grandparents' farm lives*
[An idol group] *singing an old Minnan language folk song about grandparents' farm lives*
To experience the hardships of farmers' lives...
They stand on their feet for so long, so we have developed these new leggings.
See that, see that?
These are currently NOT sold in pharmacies everywhere.
-Not for sale. -Exclusively-developed.
To prevent stinky feet, you need to wear toe socks, see that?
There are seven stars in the sole to ward off evil spirits too!
We're pretty lucky, the TVs these days are in 2D or 3D.
Awhile ago I read about 4D movies in newspapers.
So when you're watching a movie there will be scents coming out.
Thank god technology isn't that advanced yet, or else everyone in front of their screens would've fainted now.
No, you know I was thinking, what if they're watching our MV and it's like...
[STINK]
And it's like there's yellow vapours wafting around.
Yeah, and when the camera pans to Chung Hua's scenes, people are like...
Spread the word, the juniors are late for their first-ever event!
We're all waiting for them now.
The whole world's waiting for Circus.
They're basically a BS group.
Red + green.
Oh, they're here, they're here.
[ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT]
That's disgusting! [ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT]
[ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT]