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It's probably good nothing happened
between us.
Yoohoo, I can't tell you where you
can or can't be, can I?
No, you can't.
If she wants to stay and chat
with inbreds and ***
Hang on a *** minute!
*** off back to Valhalla, weirdo
***.
You're full of ***, Rich, you're
just scared!
Man the *** up!
F-R-E-A-K, now what does that spell?
Let me see Oh, yeah, you!
Now get the *** out of my party.
*** & THE MAYTALS:
It Must Be True Love
When you feel like loving
I feel like loving too
When you feel like kissing
I feel like kissing too
When you feel like dancing
I feel like dancing with you
And this must be true
True love
Tell me that you love me
cos I'm in love with you
Although it's the first time
I met you
I feel like kissing with you
Just tell me that you love me
Cos I'm in love with you
And this must be true
True love
Tell me that you love me
Cos I'm in love with you
I've been kind, you told me
You will love no-one but me ♪
JEMIMA: Whoa! All right!
Yeah! Oh, no, we're gonna get fast!
Five, six, seven, eight!
Whoo! Let's take it up a notch.
(MACHINE BEEPS)
Whoo! Whoo!
All right! All right, here we go!
SHOUTING
WHISTLE BLOWS
SHOUTING
This must be true
True love
This must be true ♪
True love ♪
WOLF WHISTLES/SHOUTING
Good morning, everyone.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Right, let's dive straight in.
With just two days to go
until our charity fashion show,
Gracie is finally ready
to reveal her designs,
and we're all very excited to hear
Professor Blood's verdict.
Thank you, everyone.
I have received confirmation that
our governors will be attending,
so it is now of the
utmost importance
that this show demonstrates the
creative and physical ability
of the college.
Over to you, Grace.
Umslight hiccup.
Gracie? Where are the outfits?
DOOR BANGS
Ah!
- Sorry about the lateness.
- Franky?
Erthis is a committee-only
meeting.
Actually, Mins,
Franky's been a life-saver.
I couldn't have made them without
her, and she'll be great with
the music.
She should totally join us.
Oh! I didn't realise
that you were still friends.
Great.
Brilliant.
Excellent.
- Really?
- Totally.
Thanks a million, Franky.
Erwhy don't you girls show us
the fruits of your labours?
As we're raising money for
the blind, our theme is tactile
textures.
So, we've used classic suit
and dress patterns
with loads of different fabrics
that are cool to touch,
like silk, faux fur and velvet.
I knew this was gonna happen.
Gracie, thoseare not what we
discussed.
II fear she's having some kind
ofpersonal crisis.
Oh, come on! >
I understand we all need
a platform to express ourselves
but this show is not about you,
Grace.
It's about raising money.
Mm.
I just dread to think
what the governors would say
seeing these avant-garde designs.
They're soweird.
Take it from me, sir
I know what I'm talking about.
(CLEARS THROAT) I see what you mean.
I propose a drastic rethink.
A new theme, new outfits.
New models.
Nick and I should
be the triumphant finale.
I've got it.
White tie and tiara.
If it's good enough for Elton, it's
good enough for Roundview.
Agreed?
Mini, you have two days to save the
show.
I won't let you down, sir.
Right.
Moving forward.
Grace?
You're fired.
Liv?
Let's get some models.
OK, it was a bit harsh,
but she's developing a
serious attitude problem.
Mini! Can you just hold up
for one *** second?
Firstly, remove your hand from my
arm.
Secondly, could you please refrain
from swearing at me?
Yeah, sorry.
It's just you've been
really rude to me and it's not fair.
Can you just stop being ***
so we can all be friends, OK?
I can't believe
you just called us ***.
***? See, I told you, Liv.
Major attitude problem.
- That was just uncalled for.
- No, it wasn't.
You're meant to be my best friends
and you just told everyone
I'm having a breakdown, and I'm not!
You only have yourself to blame.
Toodles!
Fine! *** off!
You *** ***-heads!
(BOTH GIGGLE)
Truffle shuffle! Truffle shuffle!
Truffle shuffle!
(CHEERING)
All right, sexy?
Listen, I need you for a few minutes.
Oi, Mini, when Nick stops satisfying
you, my *** is all yours, yeah?
I don't *** losers.
(LAUGHTER)
- Nicely played, babes.
- Boys, say bye-bye to your captain.
- I want to be alone with my man.
- Mm.
Outside.
Five mins.
(SIGHS)
(LOW CHATTER)
You can go first.
I'll save the big news till after.
OK, how would you like to be
the best boyfriend in the world
and help me out
at the charity fashion show?
I need two gorgeous models to walk
with me and Liv down the runway.
No can do.
Training comes first.
Do you not want to know
what my surprise is?
My dad's away until Saturday.
We
finally have the house to ourselves.
Fashion show comes first.
That's just another excuse.
I've waited weeks for this.
You said you wanted to,
next time I had a free gaff.
(SIGHS) I do the fashion show,
you stay over tonight.
You're the ultimate boyfriend.
- Oh, bring a friend too.
- Get in.
But I might not be in the mood
tonight.
I've just been really
stressed.
Stressed you won't live up to your
rep?
What rep? I'm not a slag!
Well, from the stories you tell,
you're no ***.
Are you?
I'm just not sure
you'll be able to handle me.
Babe, you don't want to know
what I've handled.
I really don't.
My exes are nothing compared to you.
And I promise tonight will be
special.
Of course.
It will be amazing.
Perfect.
(WHISPERS) ***.
MUSIC PLAYING
MINI: You're walking down a catwalk!
You're not walking the plank here,
OK?
The catwalk is not a playground.
Sashay in.
MUSIC PLAYING
Liv, come over here.
Stop the music.
MUSIC OFF
I said sprinkle down the runway.
I'll teach you how to sprinkle.
BOTH LAUGH
Who the *** is that weirdo?
Umhe's your partner for the
finale.
Well, thethe bit before the
finale.
Nick and I are closing the show.
Obviously.
(TUTS AND SIGHS)
Hey, ***.
When's your friend going to show us
what he's got in store for Olivia?
Music!
NICK: Come on, Rider.
Nice moves.
Ow!
Ah!
Ah!
MINI: Liv, take it seriously.
It's
not Strictly.
NICK: Can't wait for tonight, babes.
Come round about eight.
I'll get some food in.
For breakfast.
Mm.
And I got some supplies.
Oh, no.
Ultra nightmare.
I totally forgot.
I promised Liv I'd
hang out with her tonight.
I'm so sorry.
Don't be stroppy,
babe.
I'd rather be with you.
But Liv is just all depressed
by her lack of love life.
(SIGHS) Right, OK.
Let's all go out together, then.
I'll bring Rider.
Bit of matchmaking.
You're so sweet.
I love you.
Mm, yeah, me too.
JAMES YORKSTON: Would You
Have Me Born With Wooden Eyes?
Tangled as my heart is with yours
Would you have me born with wooden
eyes
To see me through?
Tangled as my heart is with
yours ♪
SHELLY: Is that you, baby?
Would you have me born
with wooden eyes
To see me through?
Through
If every word was true
If every other word was true
Ah, ah, ah
Ah, ah, ah
Would you have me born
with wooden eyes? ♪
Oh.
Gorgeous girlie.
It's like looking in a mirror.
You wish.
Over here, missus.
Didn't keep you up last night,
did I?
Thatguy turned out to be a right
goer.
Couldn't get enough of it.
When will I get to meet
this prince of yours?
That's enough.
It's much better.
What a stunner you are.
Off you go and have fun.
I always do with Nick.
We're in love.
Well, you hold onto him, angel.
You don't want to end up like me.
Remember, men only want one thing,
and once they've got it,
they disappear into thin air.
Do your pelvic floor exercises!
That's the way to a man's heart.
I'm a-having a nervous breakdown
A mental shakedown ♪
Oh, no.
Nick.
You're gonna have to help me.
All right.
It's all about focus,
babes.
Pick your spot
and visualise yourself
putting that ball right there.
No, no.
No, no, no.
Come back.
You're ***.
Nick's are the only balls I play
with.
Nick's are the only balls I play
with.
LIV: Lucky boy.
RIDER: At least you're good at
something.
This one for the match, Nick, yeah?
Mm.
For you it's over, big man.
Close your legs.
You're drooling.
That is gross.
Whoo! We whipped your arses.
Three games in a row, baby.
Whatever.
Mins, let's head back to
mine.
Erif you're happy to give up
just like that, then that's cool.
I just thought
my boyfriend was better than that.
But no worries.
(GIGGLES) Loser.
All right, OK, one more game
and then we head back to the crib.
Swap teams, though.
Shotgun, Liv.
RIDER: And let's spice things up a
bit.
Whoever loses each point
downs an epic mouthful each.
Awesome.
Ernot for me and Liv.
Getting wasted the night before my
fashion shoot is very clever.
Oh, come on.
We all need our beauty sleep.
I don't.
Have you seen my face?
(NICK CHUCKLES) You ***.
Go on, give us a swig.
Go on.
Down it.
*** it.
That's my girl.
Don't be boring, babes.
Yeah!
Wow!
Well, you know the night-time
Night and day
Is the right time
Night and day
To be
Night and day
Be with the one you love
Night and day
Wow!
Babe, the night-time
Night and day
Is the right time
Night and day
Whoa, to be
Night and day
With the one you love
Night and day
Wow! Say the night-time
Night and day
Wow! Is the right time
Night and day
Oh, to be
Night and day
With the one you love
Aaah!
Waaah! ♪
(SQUEALS)
I'm gonna sue!
LAUGHTER
Baby
Night and day ♪
You are gonna get a slap!
*** you.
***.
I've lost my *** keys.
Oh, it must have fallen out in
there.
There's no way he's letting us back
in.
Erlooks like we're gonna have to
call it a night, then.
Liv, coming?
RIDER: Oi.
You two ain't getting away that
easily.
Let's head back to mine.
Mum's working a late-nighter,
won't be back for ages.
Liv, just wait till you catch
a glimpse of my pad.
REGGAE MUSIC PLAYING
CHATTER AND LAUGHTER
Never have I ever had an STI.
No.
Right, here's one
you girls can't get out of.
Liv, that bra's coming off.
Never have I ever munched ***.
SNORTING AND LAUGHTER
RIDER: Oh, yes.
Come on, Min, you
too.
An earring? That's cheating, man.
Get your jugs out!
LIV: Rider, take it easy.
Dress off, dress off, dress off!
There's only one person that gets to
check out what's under here.
And it's not you.
Ha! Hm.
It looks like the game's over.
Good.
It was ***.
I don't care what you've done
or never done.
I sure know what you're gonna do
now.
To me.
You're all right.
I mean, except for your personality.
Maybe you should just stop
talking(!)
(GASPS) Good boy.
(LIV GIGGLES)
(LAUGHS)
Liv!
LIV LAUGHING
Back in a sec.
Teach roses then to sniff at my
ankles
Pink and red roses
Lining the path
The flagstone path
that leads to nowhere
To nowhere decided for now
Well, who am I
To get this gift?
The giver bounding off in retreat
The dog runs off
with a heart in its mouth ♪
LIV GASPING
And drops it bloody at my feet
Roses cluster at my ankle
The heart lies bloody ♪
MOANING AND GASPING
LIV MOANING
Oh.
Baby.
You're amazing.
And you're *** hot.
OTHERS MOANING
Is that why you're with me?
It's a bonus.
You're sexy.
Fit as.
LIV MOANING
What's wrong?
Liv's panting is ruining the mood.
Well, at least she's having fun.
II can't do this.
LIV MOANING
Babe, it's been way over a month.
What's the big deal?
Don't you fancy me?
LIV AND RIDER MOANING
You know I do.
I love you.
Show me, then.
Mins?
Ugh.
Oh.
Oh.
You've got to get her out of here
before my mother comes back.
She's gonna go ***.
***.
Stop preening and get cleaning.
Where's the *** Domestos?
I can't believe that ***
got more action than me.
Oh, don't cry.
There's always
tomorrow.
(SCOFFS) I've run out of ideas
on how to get her into bed.
Rewind.
You two haven't?
No.
It's a bit weird, Liv.
She keeps on
telling me she loves me.
That's just Mini.
She's full-on all the time.
It's the best and worst thing about
her.
Yeah, well.
Let's just take her home, yeah?
(WHISPERS) I've never been here
before.
Don't know anything about her mum or
dad.
LIV: It's just mum.
Liv, I don't even know her.
Yeah, she's hot and she makes me
laugh.
But that's it.
And now I've been dragged
into this stupid fashion show.
It's a big deal.
She's just
stressing out.
We're gonna be laughed at.
She can't dance.
We'll look ridiculous.
My team's gonna be there, my coach.
You're her boyfriend.
And I'm her best friend.
We need to give her a bit of help.
What?
You've got quite a rep,
but you're actually pretty sound.
Back-handed compliment.
But I'll take it.
I'm sleepy.
Night.
LIGHT SWITCH CLICKS
CRYSTAL FIGHTERS: With You
Sometimes the stars you see
are bright
Somewhere above the clouds at night
Some time the light star bright
So far above the cloudless sky
With you ♪
You've gained 57 grams.
Wait, um
ErMini.
It's not on.
Let me impart a phrase that I apply
to most situations in life.
Good girls don't swallow.
Next.
With you, with you, with you
With you, with you, with you
With you, with you, with you,
with you
With you, with you
With you, with you ♪
Liv.
Umcall me.
I've got the hangover from hell
and three hours to do 101 jobs.
It's Mini, obviously.
Hi, gorgeous.
Just wanted to say hello.
Give me a call
when you get the chance.
I could do with a hand for some of
the last-minute fashion show bits.
Liv, it's me again.
(GIRLS LAUGH)
Call me.
I really need help
with the dresses, OK?
LAUGHTER
A little help, please!
Yeah, move.
Has anyone seen Nick or Liv?
And somebody steam those dresses!
LAUGHTER
All right, Princess Puke?
LAUGHTER
PHONE RINGS
.
.
With you.
♪
(TANNOY) 'For those of you involved
in tonight's fashion show,
'you need to be at the outdoor area
for a dress rehearsal in 15.
'The rest of you, look hot
and keep your heads down.
'That is all.
'
I like boys and that is that
Love it when you call me legs
In the morning buy me eggs
Watch your heart
when we're together
Boys like you love me for ever
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Oh
Whoa, whoa, whoa
Oh
Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
That's my dress.
(LIV) Whoops.
Sorry, Mini, I'll change.
Yeah, you will.
I'll wear it for the rehearsal.
We're already running late.
Because I've been looking for you!
Liv was just helping me
with the dance.
Oh, really?Yeah, really.
How very thoughtful.
Liv, dress off now.
Your saggy *** have stretched it.
Oh, don't be a ***.
You told everyone
I puked on Nick last night!
Me? I was the one looking after you.
I bet you two had a right laugh.
Mini, you haven't got
enough dresses.
Mini, who's doing our hair?
Mini, where are the tickets
for the after-show party?
CLAMOUR OF QUESTIONS
No offence,
but that looks way better on Liv.
No offence,
but that looks way better on Liv.
Shut the *** up!
Shut the *** up! Shut the *** up!
Silence!
MUSIC STOPS
What is this foolish nonsensery?
THUD
What does that say? (CLEARS THROAT)
Roundview charity fashion show.
Anything else?
Five pounds.
Starts at 7.
30.
Let me explain.
The dresses don't fit the models,
half of the show
is still to be choreographed,
and we have less than two hours
until the designated outdoor area
is filled with students
and teachers and governors.
I'llI'll sort it out.
Please.
No.
You fainted on school property.
You're obviously not well.
I'm fine.
I'm saying you're unwell.
So you're unwell.
Go home, Mini.
(SOBBING)
NEW YORK DOLLS:
Looking For A Kiss
I always saw you
just before the dawn
When all the other kids
were just dragging along
I couldn't believe
the way it seemed to be
Remembering the things
you used to say to me
I bet you know I can't be wasting
timecos I got to have my fun
I gotta get some fun
I gotta keep on moving
Can't stop till it's all done
And it's never done
Well, listen when I tell you
I got no time for fix
Cos I just got to make it
Can't afford to miss
And there's one reason
I'm telling you this
I feels bad
And I'm a-looking for a kiss.
♪
SMOOCHING
(NICK) Finally.
Thanks for meeting me.
Nick,
you and I don't need a catwalk.
What have you done?
What's wrong?
Mini, I
Where are you going?
The show starts in 15 minutes.
*** the show.
What?
Let's go, just us, back to yours.
I can't abandon the troops.
Reward comes from dedication,
hard work, passion.
You can reward me after.
No, now!
No.
Liv needs me to close the show.
CHEERING
LADY GAGA: Boys Boys Boys
I like you a lot, lot
All we want is hot, hot
Boys, boys, boys
We like boys in cars
Boys, boys, boys
Buy us drinks in bars
Boys, boys, boys
With hairspray and denim
Boys, boys, boys
We love them, we love them
Oh, whoa, whoa
Whoa, whoa ♪
Hello, Roundview!
CHEERING
Thank you
to the very talented Grace Violet
and the wicked Franky Fitzgerald
for providing music and lighting.
CHEERING
And I would like to thank
my best friend Mini McGuinness.
Tonight was all her idea.
She's always encouraging us
to do new things.
Unfortunately, she is unwell
and couldn't perform.
But I'm sure she would be
very pleased with the show
and we really hope
that she gets better soon.
and we really hope
that she gets better soon.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
See you at the after-show party,
thanks for coming!
MUSIC PLAYING
We're really happy you came.
Mini, you're here! Have a drink.
Where's Nick?
What?
My boyfriend.
Where is he?
I don't know.
Stay away from us.
Mini, wait up!
Hi.
Hi.
You look nice.
Should you be talking to me?
Mini's not my friend any more.
Are we still friends?
I was hoping more than that.
If that's cool with you.
That's cool.
Cool.
Mini, what's going on with you?
You're freaking me and Nick out.
I know you haven't slept together.
Don't do it.
He doesn't love you.
You've been *** behind my back?
Typical of you!
You've always been jealous of me.
You are making
a top prat of yourself.
Explain why you're calling my
boyfriend, sleeping next to him,
dancing next to him on stage.
Keep your *** hands away from him!
I will not let you ***
all over me.
Because I know you.
I know,
underneath all of that make-up,
you're just a frightened
little ***.
Look! I still love you.
But I am the only one.
>
So, grow up, OK?
Before you've got no-one.
>
Get it together, you stupid ***!
***!
I'll dump her.
If you want.
You got a lighter?
RINGING
PHONE RINGING
Looks like you're having
a pretty *** time.
I can't find Nick.
Grace is here.
I know.
I'm not trying to
ruin your life, Mini.
You could have fooled me.
You could have fooled me.
of self-absorbed,
attention-seeking ***.
Are you looking for a fight?
It was hard to see why you hung out
together.
But then
I got it.
You look out for each other.
You love each other.
Come and dance.
Take me to yours.
Mini!
Mini!
This is gonna be worth the wait,
I promise.
About today.
- I feel like we're not clicking.
- I know.
I'llI'll try harder.
Let's blank today out.
Itit didn't happen.
None of it happened.
Please.
Do you have, uma
Umyeah.
Sure, cool.
Right.
OK.
Mini
.
.
anything you want to tell me?
I love you.
Anything you want to tell me?
You love me too, don't you?
Yeah.
I love you too.
(# AKRON/FAMILY: It's Only Love)
Don't be afraid
It's only love
Don't be afraid
It's only love
Don't be afraid
It's only love
Don't be afraid
It's only love
Love is simple
Love is simple ♪
- (HORN SOUNDS)
- All right there, my lovely?
You fancy a ride? (CHUCKLES)
Don't be afraid
You're already dead
Don't be afraid
You're already dead
Don't be afraid
You're already dead
Don't be afraid
You're already dead
Love is simple
Love is simple
Love is simple ♪
Come on.
La la, la-la la-la
La-la-la
La la, la-la la-la
La-la-la
- # La la la
- # La la, la-la la-la
La la la
- # La la la
- # La la, la-la la-la
La la la.
♪
(# THE CONTOURS: Do You Love Me?)
- # Do you love me?
- # I can really move
- # Do you love me?
- # I'm in the groove
Do you love me ♪
Every night you turn up
looking like a zombie, Olivia.
Do not tell me
there is nothing to worry about
because your aura
is telling me quite the opposite.
- Ta-da!
- No-one leaves till this bag is
empty.
Oh.
Franky's gone.
What a
lightweight.
- What's going on?
- Everyone's having such
a good time.
Really would be a shame
if you spoil it.
We don't tell each other our
secrets, do we?
- That's my bed.
- And I'm in it with my boyfriend.
The party is over.
Everybody out!
(SCREAMS)
- # Well, I can mash potatoes
- # I can mash potatoes
- # I can do the twist
- # I can do the twist
- # Well, tell me, baby
- # Tell me, baby
- # Do you like it like this?
- # Do you like it like this?
- # Well, tell me
- # Tell me
Well, tell me
Waah!
- # Do you love me?
- # I can really move
Do you love me?
I'm in the groove
- # Do you love me?
- # Do you love me?
Now that I can dance
Aaah!
Whoo! Watch me now.
♪
Synch and correct by JustFuckingShit(or teftel)