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so the question now: why look asian?
well i'll tell you why... why
not
look Asian?
when we're starting, think
from the basics and then build up as we go further. What i can do is, erase
as much of the anatomical differences
as I can
You can't really go overboard, just slap it on there just roll that *** on
cake it on...
the eyes probably are the most difficult part, you have to make your
eyes that more almond shape But ***, doesn't have to be perfect...
this does not look right...
blend it out. ok, done.
i think that's as far as make-up does..
we're there
the time has come for some more drastic changes. What you will do next is you will get tape
so just pull on your eyes...
and tape it...
to your face...
in
uh... fashion, like this
We have to signal from far away that we are asian
and tape it...
perfect! Look how Asian I look! Look how Asian I already look!
This is *** America
If I want to have tape on my face, I'm going to have tape on my face.
This is pretty much for the anatomical stuff, now let's talk about your behavior and
your overall demeanor
People see an Asian person - they automatically assume they're Chinese
Because thats just how people are. When you see someone on the street, you are not going to say hi, hello, or whats up,
You're going to say Ni Hao [你好],
and then if you want to continue the conversation you'll say
Ni Hao Ma? [你好吗]
so that's Chinese
what I recommend doing is taking like one Chinese class
and then
pretending you know all the *** about all of the ***
for the rest of your life
You can get like...
A Chinese dictionary...
just make sure it says Chinese in English letters
You want to carry it like this
You are going to want to carry it in your hands because
if you look like this and then you have this Chinese thing in your hand then people
are going to read Chinese and assume you're Chinese
it's just simple logic
so you have to eats the Asian people eat
i get this, Aloe Vera drink
and
if you're carrying your book in this hand, you can just like hold it
or like, put it in your bag so that it sticks out... if you live to an older age what else
will people think think? They'll automatically assume you're Asian, because you're so old...
and...
Asians are obviously the people that live the longest I also got this
omega joint
support... some ***
just you know, go into a Chinese pharmacy and get something like
Asian looking ***, and
you can carry it around or you can carry individual boxes
even if people don't read the...
like the chinese *** on it, they will still think it looks like foreign
And you know, that's a clue for them
and they even come with like a separate straw, see I love Asian stuff, It's so
perfectly designed! Each thing has its own straw! Cheers!
Oh *** this is nasty as ***!
The Aloe Vera saved me dude, it saved me!
Yeah if you give me anything less than immortality for this ***,
I ain't drinking it.
ohhhhh!
Get a tamagotchi!
I don't know
what is
more Asian than a tamagotchi. make sure, the god damn thing beeps
every, like, five minutes so that you pull it out
and people see that you're feeding your little dinosaur
and then
people are going to think you're cute even if you're not
so another thing is
obviously some chopsticks
you'll want to carry those with you at all times in case you go
to a place that doesn't have them
you know if you don't go to the asian food place, if you go to mcdonald's you're
still going on
pull these bad boys out
and eat your fries with those
i don't know how you're going to eat cheeseburger a hamburger you figure it
I can't do all the work for you
and you know even better... Well wash them off obviously and i don't know,
uh... your hands are kind of full but what you can do is like
you can stick it in your hair
a little bit, I think that looks pretty Asian too, right?
perfect
perfect...
Now, I mean, you've got so many clues going on, even if you don't look as Asian as I do right
now
People are going to think you are... I feel these headphones look pretty Asian...
so you know just
hang them there
and if you have an iphone
Make sure it has like a tail and ears and its cute as hell
and make sure this little thing...
it's not like... you have to get some dangling ***... that dangs from it...
because that's Asian...
get yourself an xbox...
And, you know, you're not going to carry the whole xbox with you so you can get the controller and either
put it in your bag or just carry it around...
you can put it in the same hand as your Chinese book
Yeah, so that's how you will look in public
You're just walking around like this you know
that's good, its good...
Be good at math...
be good at computers, to be able to fix a computer
And then you have to learn to play a musical instrument... You need either a cello,
or a violin.
so if you only have a guitar... don't... it's ok, don't beat yourself up! Just hold it...
like this,
like it's a cello
And just, you know...Just play, its good enough.
Or if you want to go in another direction and want to do the violin thing...
Just like, get a stick
Or you can get... Even get one of your chopsticks
and just, you know...
that's good, its good enough
Its original, its interesting. Some people tell you, you can't be Asian, ***, you can be whatever the hell you want to be
so I feel that
pretty much told you everything i know
no seriously i just i just told you everything
i know
so thank you for the attention and
good luck with your pursuit of looking Asian,
you can email your questions, you can comments and write the questions down and
you know take pictures of your Asian look, your newfound
Asianness [Patent pending for the new word].
and
subscribe to my channel
and i love you guys
Oh! one last thing, remember if you're taking pictures, always go like this...
like some *** like that, but do your
fingers like this... Bye:)
And get a lap dog because they're just cute,
And all the cute stuff is Asian. So get a guard dog
like this
and make sure your dog looks Asian too...
You Asian?
Her name's Kaoya [烤鸭], it means Fried...Duck...