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I am the black sheep.
One day, I was walking around the Shepherd's glen.
I discovered
that the mushroom thee had something unusual about it
Black mushrooms had started growing on it. I was feeling courageous so I decided to eat
one of the black mushrooms.
I was met by a black stranger.
She told me to look out for the pink haired girl.
Then, I started grinning.
I'm unable to stop grinning.
I'm always grinning.
Does it make you uncomfortable? Well, GOOD.
"Am I a Klinnburger!?"
Can anyone tell me
what the hell I'm playing right now?
I sure as hell can't, and that's why I'm having to do a video review
of this game because it's very hard to write down what's happening
in a written review.
It's very confusing.
And it's a very experimental game.
This is AntiStar 3D: Rising
for the iPod Touch, iPhone and iPad.
It's sort of like a 3D adventure game
which I think bares similarities
to LittleBigAdventure 2 (Twinsen's Odyssey).
I get that feeling from it.
And it's also quite similar to Yume Nikki
which is a dream simulator created with RPG Maker.
And L.S.D, which is a dream simulator for the PlayStation.
It looks like Katamari Damacy with it's use of block colors and lack of textures.
The controls are AWFUL.
And the collision is off, sometimes you can get stuck in the scenery.
And then there's disturbing stuff like this...
Voice: "Awake."
"I am dreaming."
Voice: "Awake."
"Who are you?"
"Why am I dreaming this?"
Voice: "Find us."
I mean...
Seriously, like...
What the ***?
Anyway, got to pick up teddy.
We use the onscreen "pick up" function to do that.
And now I'm in a forest!
When you try to move, it loads up the chapter name.
The game consists of more walking around...
After she's finished nattering that is.
Stuff like walking around and solving puzzles.
But with some of the worst controls on the iPod.
It's a pretty game and it's trying to impress me.
It doesn't a story...
...but it is confusing, if that is beneficial in any way.
And here's the enchanted crow who says...
Crow: "Enchanted? I hope not."
He goes on to tell me that something happened to the town
and that I'm the last member of the town.
The town is "Klinnburg", so I'm the last "Klinnburger".
That sounds STUPID.
He then goes on to tell me that I need water, bread and cheese.
But I don't think the food items even do anything.
Bye-bye Mr.Crow!
"Oops."
"What have I done."
"Oh well, everybody makes mistakes."
"I don't think that will keep the axe."
"It's too heavy."
Ok, here's the scary black sheep.
I am going to zoom in on him.
You see that? That is *** scary.
"Hi dear. What are you grinning about?"
Sheep: "I am always grinning."
"Does it make you uncomfortable?"
"Actually I've come to warn you."
"Don't trust the white sheep."
He just goes on with this...
...inane...
...***.
He says the one of these mushrooms that have turned him black.
It's some *** surreal ***.
He has one of the scariest games I've ever seen in gaming.
He makes that sheep sound...
There are some neat gimmicks in this game that prove some thought
actually went into it.
The first one is (and it might not be very clear)
(but when I turn it here)
The camera actually turns as you turn the iPod.
The game is playable in both landscape,
and portrait.
Sadly, whichever mode you play the game in, you don't make it any more playable.
I like to see more of what I'm doing,
so I play the game in landscape.
There's actually an enemy in this tube.
I get killed by him a lot. Hope that he glitched on top of the tube.
More angry looking mice.
They can kill me in one hit.
Luckily, you sort of auto-aim with the sword.
As long as you're in the vicinity of the enemy then you tend to stab at them automatically.
It is a good idea, but
the combat needs a lot of work.
Or just not to be there altogether.
I'm getting closer to the ending.
I'm going to show you how terrible
the ending to this story is.
We're coming up to the ending, and this is what all your hard work
playing the game is for. I'm ruining the ending for you, but
I don't care because there's an overall lack of story.
I think it's worth ruining this for you.
Oh dear.
Mice men!
One of them has got a pistol!
"Who are these guys?"
"Either way I wouldn't worry too much about it for now."
"I'm outnumbered and outgunned".
"It is the end of our adventures for now."
"But will you come back? Promise?"
"In the next episode"
"We'll find a way to escape the micemen."
"Meet new friends..."
"And fight enemies so big..."
"That our past adventures will feel like a stroll in the park."
"Hey, you're still here?"
"One more thing."
"Tell your friends about us."
"So our world can grow big and bigger."
"ANTISTAR 3D: RISING."
"© T.E.A. de Souza, 2010"
...and now?
Nothing happens.
Now imagine my reaction when I got this ending for the first time.
I played the game almost non-stop.
Had to backtrack a lot.
It looks nice, it looks pretty...
I mean...
They've tried...
They've tried do something new...
But that isn't everything.
It's like some kind of interactive slide-show,
or a Tate Modern simulator.
It's just a show-off of creative ideas.
It's NOT a game.
It doesn't have:
A brilliant story, any remarkable memorable characters (except the grinning sheep).
It doesn't have...
It doesn't even have a good soundtrack!
It doesn't have save points, it doesn't have checkpoints, you can't save and come back
I had to sleep my iPod overnight
Overwise I'd have to restart the chapter I was on, which was long
thanks to all the backtracking.
That's another thing: backtracking does NOT constitute as gameplay.
For example, my favorite platformer, Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon on N64.
There is a lot of backtracking but you can cut it down
by using the dragon to fly everywhere. The backtracking isn't mandatory.
This game needs a warp button to take you to Klinnburg or the Shepherd's Glen.
They've tried.
They're tried too hard. Features such as being able to turn the iPod
in order to move the camera based on that movement.
That's great.
That's wonderful!
You've implemented the ability to switch between landscape and portrait.
But where's the *** gameplay!?
That's why I can't give it a good score.
It's relying too much on
being silly, and
being crazy,
but being completely devoid of enjoyable gameplay.
Don't necessarily say "No" to Antistar 3D, but...
just be aware that there is _no_ gameplay waiting for you.