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You can't have a lawyer, your too poor Yes I can you guys provided me money for him
Lawyer *clap* *clap* Ok
See You guys have to stay in this state to be
in the trial Nuh uhhhh
The 6th Amendment said so We can go to Pennsylvania
You are accused guilty, so you have to go to jail in 6 years
I want to go now though Well you cant
Yes I can The 6th Amendment said so
Hey man whats up man This is Chris
This is Obama man He's the president
Oh He's gonna be kicked out soon though his term's almost over
What and idiot. *Gavel Slams*
Order in the court Yes sir
Please stand Yes sir
Raise your right hand Yes sir
I solemnly swear to tell the truth
the whole truth and nothing but the truth
Or I will be taken to federal prison My name is
What's your name Chris
Yousef And I promise not to tell a lie
Thank you You may now be seated
Your welcome You are very welcome
*Gavel Slams* The court is now in session
Your hurt my ears Its OK man
So I see here that Mr. Yousef Latif is suing Mr. are you suing him?
Yes Yes you are suing Mr. Christopher Su for coming into your house and stealing your cell phone
Hayy Hayyy
Quiet in the audience And I also see that if you do win the case, you would like to have him put in federal prison
Is that correct Yes
Ok So tell me your side of the story
May I stand Yes
Would you like to use your phone as a prop Would you like to use your phone as a prop
Yes Ok
Uh It happened on December 17th 2013 Uhhh I witnessed a young foolish boy
Young CHINESE foolish boy He was walking into my kitchen
Thats very racist I heard the door open
Yes I heard the screeching of the door
I heard the footsteps of this boy and I walked into the kitchen to get a drink of water
And I saw him running away from me DROPPING my phone leaving these cracks on IT
Did he come back and pick up the phone and run
No he dropped it, picked it up, and then ran away
Oh... thats what I said
Yes Quiet in the audience please
Now you may now be seated Christopher Su, please come and tell me your side of the story
I assumed that I could come into his house and borrow his phone
YOU ASSUMED THAT YOU COULD JUST WALK INTO A HOUSE
Yes Were you invited
Uh Uh.... No I wasn't Ohhhh
Then why did you go into his house illegally SO YOU JUST WENT INTO HIS HOUSE UNINVITED
AND YOU THOGHT IT WAS OK TO "BORROW" HIS PHONE WITHOUT INFORMING HIM
Now how could you THAT IS STEALING
I'm very sorry Yes
And for that the consequence Tell it to the judge
Yes You told me, so now I will be the judge of that
The 7th Amendment of the Articles of Confederation and the Bill of Rights guarantees that a jury trial for civil cases in federal courts
Ok So that was your trial
I'm sorry to inform you this, but you are GUILTY
GUILTY Now please take him to jail
NO NO NO MAY MAY I SHOOT SOMEONE