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Booyakasha.
[snap]
I is Ali G, I is back,
and I is still black.
I is been off the telly since 2003,
which was back in the '90s.
Since I is been away, there
has been a financial crash,
a tsunami in Hiroshima,
and World War Z.
Coincidence?
Me not tink so.
'Nough tings is changed since that time.
Back then, me was a child.
I look back on some of
that stuff and giggle.
The way me dressed, the way me talked.
Some of me grammar
weren't even correctitude
to the most basicest things, a'ight?
Now I is well grown up.
I ain't livin' in me
nan's house anymore.
I's now livin' in her garage,
and I's has even got me own toilet.
I can do anything I like in it,
apart from solids.
But it ain't all been irie.
Me is got older and me has
got some serious health issues.
I think I might be infertile,
and I's facing up to
the fact that me Julie
may never be able to
have another abortion,
which means I's gonna
have to wave good-bye
to the free candy dat is
always in the waiting room.
The Hershey Kisses,
mm, they is me favorite.
The caramel ones is the best,
but dem go so quick, so you've gotta
be the first abortion of the day.
In my humble opinion, dem
Hershey's is even more deliciouser
than the champagne.
But I digest.
Check out me show,
the Rezurection of Ali G.
All fruits ripe and cris, a'ight.
[music]
1x06 - United Nations
Booyakasha.
[snap]
[music]
I is here, standing outside
the United Nations of Benetton,
which is where representatives
from the three corners of
the world come to end wars,
international drug trafficking,
and everything else
that is a bit of a laugh.
[music]
I is here with the geezer
who was the secretary-general
of the United Nations.
'Is name be none other
than my man
Boutros Boutros Boutros-Ghali.
How many countries is in the UN?
If I'm not wrong, according
to the last statistics,
it must have more than 180 countries.
Is Disneyland a member of the UN?
No, because Disneyland is
not an independent state.
Do you think in a hundred years' time
Disneyland or Disney
World could have a seat?
No, Disneyland is not doing politics.
- Disneyland is
- Well, some of them is.
- Some of them characters.
- It is for the young
- only for the young children.
- How many languages is spoken at the UN?
You have, practically, what
we called five languages.
Which is the funniest language?
It's French, isn't it?
[imitates French language]
Not necessary.
Maybe Arabic is more funny.
- Oh, yeah.
- It depends to whom.
To you.
What was the one
that when the delegate
went up and started
speaking, you was like
[laughs] Go on.
- I gotta go to the
- No, I'm not allowed to do this.
I'm the secretary-general.
Yeah, but there musta been one
when they were going up there
[imitates Arabic language]
No, no, no, no.
I have to have a
poker face, like this.
- Do you speak French?
- Yes.
How do you say "***" in French?
- Chic?
- ***, ***.
Like crap, rubbish.
Ah, oh.
[chuckles]
De la merde.
How do you spell that?
[in French] M-E-R-D-E.
M-A
R-D-E.
Thanks for that.
Me wanna say big up yourself,
Boutros Boutros
Boutros Boutros-Ghali.
[snap]
Respect.
It's the Wild, Wild West side.
[music]
Here we are in the
security council chamber
- Wicked.
- of the United Nations.
This room was donated by
the government of Norway.
All right, safe, safe.
So, what happens here?
Here, 15 countries that come from
different regions of the world
discuss about world peace and security.
Safe, respect.
What's that, Jordan?
Ain't it stupid letting one
sportsman have his own seat,
no matter how, you know,
powerful he is?
Well, that is not Michael Jordan,
if you're referring to that gentleman.
That is the state of
Jordan in the Middle East.
Well, that's what you is telling
the cameras, but ain't we all equal?
Ain't it ridiculous letting one person
have the same power
as the whole country?
Well, again, it's not the
person that is sitting here.
It's the government
of the State of Jordan.
- From the Middle East.
- Is it named after Michael Jordan?
It is not named after Michael Jordan.
- Does this country really exist?
- Yes, it does.
- What's this?
- Guinea.
It's a country in Africa.
The Republic of Guinea.
That ain't is that a real country?
Yes, it is a real country, in Africa.
It's quite a large country as well.
With all respect, why do you
give crap countries a vote?
Well, that's your opinion of Guinea.
That is definitely not
shared in this organization.
This is an earphone used by
all of these people that sit here
to listen to the meetings
in six different languages.
Ain't it dangerous, though,
having translaterors?
Why do you think that?
Why do you say that?
'Cause let's say the translateror
is a double agent or
something like that.
He can say well dodgy stuff like
apparently the Vietnams War started
when Saddam Husseins
gotten a translater wrong,
and he was gonna send in an
email to the president of Thailand
and to just ask
him for a cup of tea
but the translateror put in
something that turned out to, like,
"your mum is a ho and I is *** her,"
and the Thai person got well eggy,
and then that's what happened.
That's how the Vietnams
War started, innit?
Well, I'm not sure that your
recount of the story is correct.
It might very well be, but as far as
- Well, that is the word on the street.
- Okay.
How does you choose
who sits next to who?
It goes in English alphabetical order.
Can you swop if the person next
to you is really annoying you?
Can you swap?
Uh, no, I don't think you can.
At 3:00 there is
a meeting taking place here.
- In, like, 10 minutes?
- 10 minutes, yes.
A meeting taking place here to
discuss the situation in Iraq.
- Can we be in the meeting?
- No, you can't.
- We can't because
- What about just me?
Nobody can.
No public is
allowed here for security reasons.
So, what's going on in Iraq
that we should know about?
Okay, Iraq is suspected of producing
weapons of mass destruction.
- Wicked.
- Gas and nuclear weapons.
What a laugh.
And where
does the boss man sit?
Well, the secretary-general
sits right here.
- He sit here?
- Yes.
- Wicked.
Can we sit here?
- Definitely.
I's saying I's just written that
"Saddam Hussein is a ***" there.
Okay.
[music]
[music]
Yakshemesh.
American national sport
is called baseballs.
It very similar to our sport, shurick,
where we take dogs,
shoot them in a field,
and then have a party.
I like you.
I find more now with
team Savannah Sand Gnats.
Gendobre.
[music]
Now, ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to
get started, get the guys on the field.
We have tonight
this is Borat Sagdiyev
- from Kazakhstan television.
- Hello.
[cheering]
I love USA.
Do you love USA?
[cheering]
Yes, I love baseball!
Do you love baseballs?
[cheering]
I like you.
Do you like me?
U, S, and A.
U, S, and A.
U, S, and A.
- [audience chants] USA!
- Yes, yes, and now please
everybody will stand
for national anthem
Kazakhstan for respect.
[singing in Kazakh]
[cheering]
[singing continues]
[stops singing]
[crowd cheering]
[resumes singing]
[crowd cheering]
I love USA!
I love USA! USA!
- I love USA.
- Woman: Play ball.
High five!
- How you doing?
- Hello.
Ah, don't do that.
- Why not?
- 'Cause that's not me.
- But in my country, we
- Not in your country.
We're in my country.
Did you pay some money to the boss
to make sure your side win?
That is not done in baseball.
- But maybe $50?
- No, no, no.
- You want I pay him $50?
- No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
- I have a 40,000 ***.
- Oh, well
No applicator.
You want
I give to the umpire?
I don't think so.
You think he will mind
that there's no applicator?
I don't think so, I don't think so.
[music]
Hello, hello.
Everybody, you want to
come together to make
touch one another?
[scattered laughter]
- Player: A big picture? Like, a picture?
- Yes.
Now we all hug.
[all chanting]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ah!
You are real men.
You are real men.
I like.
I like.
[water running]
You have a shower?
- [players laughing]
- Can I come?
- You are very strong.
- Get outta here!
You are strong, wow!
- Man: Borat!
- You have a krum like my friend.
[all laugh]
My friend, he have
the same krum from you.
That's good, that's good.
[laughing]
- Borat, get outta here!
- Can I touch?
You want to do a wrestle?
- A wrestle?
- Yeah.
- What's that?
- I like to wrestle.
- You want me to take you out?
- What is it, take me out?
- You ever heard of Stone Cold Steve Austin?
- Show him how to take him out.
- What
- The stunner?
What does it do? Ah!
[grunts] He get me.
Ah!
- I'm gonna pin you!
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna pin you!
- Yeah!
USA, USA!
You okay?
Oh, man.
Dang, man.
I okay!
[all laughing]
I make joke.
You think I hurt.
Player: Do it, man.
Do it!
Do it!
Do it!
Do it!
[laughing]
Player: Do it!
All: Yeah!
Sah-vann-ah!
Sah-vann-ah!
- You win.
- I win? You okay?
[grunts]
- No sad, no sad.
Happy.
- No sad.
You hurt?
I okay.
You win me.
Thank you.
Player: No way.
[laughs]
[music]
[music]
How did you manage to maintain
a natural look?
Well, I have a good hairdresser.
What is the philosophy of the show?
Um, it's kind of like trailer trash,
trailer park trash?
What it is, "trailer trash"?
Tiffany: It's kind of
like, I guess, backwoods,
middle of nowhere, kind of poor.
Also, they are very
primitive, rubbish people?
Kind of, yeah.
Do you hope that these white
trash trashing people
- will buy the clothes?
- I don't think they can afford it.
They are too poor!
[both laugh]
This is like this in Austria.
We take the clothes
from the homeless people
- and we sell them in the shops.
- Right, jack up the price.
And then the homeless
people cannot buy them.
Definitely, definitely.
- Yeah, that is the beauty of fashion.
- Yeah.
[music]
So, how important is fashion to you?
Fashion is very important.
It's what keeps us creative.
It's what keeps us alive.
It's what keep us inspired.
It's what makes us get up and
go out of our houses every day.
You know what? She's a real
fashion icon living in her own time.
I'm from New York and
I come across a lot of people
who are not from here, but
who are from other parts of
the world who really have
absolutely no fashion sense.
They look ridiculous,
some of the people.
- There's no personal style.
- Why don't you put them on trains,
send them to a camp,
and say, "Bye-bye!"
I would love to say
"bye-bye" to most of them.
Have you ever thought
of using disabled models,
like, but with normal clothes?
- I mean, not like disgusting disabled
- Right.
not with that, kind of
but just, like, the mental thing,
so you wouldn't really
be able to see it.
There was one model that
we used for a couple of
- seasons that was deaf.
- How did she know when to go out?
Did you have to push her?
No, you just you know, you tap her.
It's like, in Austria, we
know the casting director
is more important jobs than,
you know, doctors or politicians.
- Is it the same here?
- Um, no, fashion isn't thought of as
as seriously as the
medical profession here,
- but I think
- That's ridiculous.
- I think so.
- I mean, fashion saves
- a lot more lives than doctors.
- I think so.
[music]
Jetzt bin ich hier mit Michael.
I'm here with Michael,
the other designer today.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you so much.
Why was there so much cardboard?
Why was that theme so much there?
Cardboard?
No, there was no cardboard.
- But there was a theme of cardboard.
- No.
Why did you base the whole show
around the theme of cardboard?
Well, because everything
is so hippie in fashion
that I wanted to do something
that was the opposite, you know?
- Right.
- Like, stiff and cut and
just amazing like that.
That's what I really felt like
Because no one has yet had the guts
- No one has the guts.
- to do a show about cardboard.
No, they have they don't understand.
- They're too scared to touch it.
- Yeah, they are.
What I loved about the show
was that it had no humor at all,
which was just so powerful.
- Well, it was dead serious, yeah.
- Yeah.
It was super serious.
How did you keep the show
humorous all the way along
Using pop icons.
Why was the show all
about the individual?
Because that's what we are
and that's what we
prefer everyone to be.
It's amazing 'cause this
show was, at its essence,
all about other people.
Why?
Because when you're an artist,
you look at other people,
and that's how you become
an artist, is you observe.
I found the collection so heavy
that it was pulling me down
into a place better than heaven.
Yeah, I wanted it to be,
like, a weight on people.
I wanted you to just
fall, collapse.
How did you make sure that
the show was just so light?
Because when because
we wanted things to flow,
but at the same time not
just be too overly feminine.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
But you somehow managed to
achieve this sense of the whole
show being kind of lighter than
air, everyone just floating up.
Yeah, that's what it was.
They were in the clouds.
They were in space.
Do you think consistency is important?
No.
I am Boutros Boutros-Ghali.
Put down your gun and listen to
- Ali G: Bob Marley.
- Bob Marley.