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< string bass >
So I'm here.
- I gotta get going to my monologue class. - Cool.
Hey, uh, you're coming over later tonight, right?
Yup.
I invited some more people.
My stupid roommate's out of town, so feel free to bring whoever you want.
Holy ***!
I mean, it's just a little house party. It's no big deal.
I don't believe it.
What? Are you okay? You sound like you've seen a ghost.
I just saw this little person actress I know who looks like me and has the same name.
Okay.
Tell you about it later.
We meet again...
other Teale.
< upbeat theme music >
Hi, I'm here for the monologue class.
- What's your name? - Teal Sherer.
- S-H-E-R-- - Gotcha.
We've got you signed up for a movement class, though.
That's weird.
I'm pretty sure I signed up for a monologue class.
It happens sometimes. The teacher bails, or whatever, and the course changes.
Umm...okay?
So, how 'bout this. You're here now...
Why don't you try the new class...
and if you don't like it, we will get you into another one.
What kind of class is it?
Movement.
Movement.
< mellow jazz piano >
Hey! How are you?
Have we met?
Um, yeah!
You seriously don't remember?
We almost got into a fight!
Don't get smart with me, ***!
< Voiceover > And then you rode me to a bar to get us drinks.
- Go! - Okay.
< VO > And we danced all night...
and then you made out with my roommate in a strip-mall parking lot.
< loud belch >
Any of that sound familiar?
Vaguely?
- I'm Teale. - Right...
My name is also Teal.
Okay...?
Hey everyone! Let's get loose, huh?
Let's stretch it out!
For those of you who are new, my name is Jeff Dallien.
And this is movement for actors.
So, I want us to break free...
from the space we're actually in...
which is a...kind of poorly-run black box theatre...
and I would like to imagine that you are anywhere...
at all!
Just...enter that space now.
I'm in the oval office!
Oh, I'm in...I'm at a bowling alley.
Maybe you lead with a different part of your body...
than you're used to leading.
Huh? What happens if I...
lead with my hips?
How does that change my walk, and thus my character?
Try that as you walk. What does this do?
What does this suggest? Like, for me, this makes me feel like I...
I'm a guy who likes to ***. Because of this motion.
So suddenly I've transformed myself from Jeff Dallien...
into this *** machine.
And that was through making a physical choice.
Good. Good!
Saucy. That's a saucy thing.
Now, they don't always have to be saucy.
Yeah, they can be...belabored...
uh, and...
in pain, as Samantha's character clearly is.
What if you...
This is ***.
- I signed up for a monologue class. - < whisper > Me too!
Okay guys! This is not a talking for actors class.
It's about movement.
Good, that's good.
Ooh, what if we led with our eyelids? < chuckles >
That's weird, right? Leading with your eyelids?
What happens when you -- Maybe you're the type of guy...
who leads with his eyelids open.
Maybe you're the type of guy who leads with his eyelids closed.
Um...
Actually, for this, we'll just do eyelids open.
I got scared when it got dark.
Haha! What a weirdo!
Walk with your eyelids? What kind of racist *** is that?
Um, yeah, that was strange.
- I mean, I'm pretty sure I know how I -- - Well, I'm exhausted.
- Time to drink. - Do you have plans?
- Because my boyfriend's having some -- - I'm in. Let's go!
< electronic music > Woo!
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug...
< chanting continues, louder and faster >
< all cheering > Woo!
- Nice! - Careful!
This guy's gonna get himself a UUI!
Guys, that's uh...
Nobody?
Like a DUI, except...
like, if you're on a unicycle?
That was awesome.
Oh, you guys are so cute!
It's disgusting.
How long have you two been dating?
Uh...a little over a month now, but it feels like longer.
Whoa, there. Let's just enjoy the honeymoon phase, okay?
Okay. < both laugh >
I mean there's still stuff we don't know about each other...
Like, uh, for instance. I don't know the pet name for your wheels here.
Don't have one. It's just my chair.
She's sexy, too.
Wait, I'm sorry. Just... let'*** pause and rewind this.
Uh, what?
She...deserves a name. I name all my rides.
- Okay. What's her name? - Misty.
Hm! Misty sounds like a ***!
She is.
Speaking of ***, who's that guy with the curly hair?
That's my roommate Brent! That you made out with!
Hmm...
Good for me.
You seriously don't remember?
This is almost exactly what happened last time.
It was the craziest night of my life.
Well, here's to crazy nights, sister.
She's so nuts.
Later on we're gonna dance...
and that'll be it.
I'm practically having déjà vu.
- That's a glitch in the Matrix. - Don't.
- Yes. - No.
Yes! Ple-e-e-e-e-e-ease!
This guy, okay, a celebrity...
- he's a bona fide celebrity, okay? - Whoa.
And he's telling me, "Oh, how much do you think a fan would pay..."
- "to hang out with me?" - Oh, that is so cool, right?
- Gross, dude! Disgusting! - Gross. That is so gross.
Right? Disgusting.
I mean, it's like...
It's like, if he's that desperate, then why? Why do this business?
I mean, why'd you get into this business?
I should have just stuck with...
running Days Inns, like my dad.
- Yeah, this business you know. Terrible... - Ugh. It's a tough business.
I assume it's bad.
You know, I just, you know...
No one cares about anything important.
No one cares about anything important.
It's like, it's in the Twitter stream, and then it's out of your mind.
I don't care. Zero *** given.
- Sounds like a holiday, you know? - Egypt!
- Right? Turkey! - Yeah!
- Turkey! Great lunch meat. - No one cares about Turkey.
- I always say it's a great lunch meat. - Or Egypt or any of these Araby nations...
They get their springs, and then just...
"welp--what"...
Get on Twitter, bla bla bla blop, and then oh, no, we don't care.
They -- you know what they use Twitter for? Self-promotion.
Bad puns. Vlog entries.
- I mean...but it is good for that stuff too. - What's up Curly?
What's happenin'? Have you met my main man Sand-deep?
- It's Sandeep. Hi. - Hi, I'm Teale.
- Oh, you're Teal too? - I'm Teale number ONE, ***!
Okay...yep. Aggressive, but, uh, factual.
- I'm gonna get some more...drinky drink. - Oh, cool move.
- Does anybody...else want beer? - Two beers.
- Copy. - Do you want anything?
No, I'm good.
- Twitter me! - No.
Do you trust him?
Oh, come on. That's racist.
So, uh...
When are you gonna let me take it out for a spin?
I don't know.
Maybe tomorrow?
Okay.
< dance music swells > < Teale > Dance party!
< dubstep >
Get your *** out here!
Wow. She's twerkin' it good. That's something.
- Shall we? - I told you this was going to happen.
I know, I just...I think if you watch the Matrix movies you'll understand.
I'm gonna stay here, so...
Get over here, spin cycle!
I love this ***!
Oh, thanks friendo! How'd you know?
- Are you having fun? - Meh. It's getting weird.
Brian won't stop talking about how he hates square pizzas.
I don't know what that means.
Honestly?
I think I'm actually scared of Teale number one.
Wait, her name is Teal too?
Well, no, Teale number one. It's very important that you get it right.
- That's so weird. - She's like a little ball of rage.
Yeah...it's very odd.
- This party's weird. - Weird.
Cheers to weird!
< dubstep intensifies, adds robotic vocals >
< dubstep ends >
< wind blowing, cape flapping >
< thunder crack >
< person imitates wooshing noise >
< woosh >
< roar >