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CAN WE START NOW?
-- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS
June: THAT'S IT, BABY!
Woman: THANK YOU, ALANA.
THIRD RUNNER-UP...
ALANA.
Woman #2: BRONZE WINNER -- ALANA.
June: WELL, THAT'S ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE.
[ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]
Woman: ALANA!
OKAY.
SHE'S RUNNING.
AAH!
PUMPKIN'S THE CRAZIEST...
ANNA'S THE PREGNANTEST,
AND JESSICA'S MY FAVORITE, LIKE MY BFF.
MAMA!
AAH!
OH, MY GOD!
WHOA!
MY NAME IS MIKE. MY NICKNAME IS "SUGAR BEAR."
SUGAR BEAR MY BABY DADDY.
SUGAR BEAR!
[ LAUGHS ]
[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
June: BUT IT IS SUMMERTIME...
...SO WE'VE GO TO MAKE SOME TIME FOR SOME FUN.
AAH!
Man: WHOA!
[ PIG SQUEALING ]
June and Alana: ♪ I LOVE ME SOME SMOOCHIE ♪
[ DOG BARKING ]
[ FARTS ]
MAMA!
[ ALL TALKING AT ONCE ]
[ GLASS SHATTERS ]
[ GIRL LAUGHS ]
[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ]
[ ALARM CLOCK RINGS ]
SMOOCHIE MOOCH. GET UP. COME ON.
THE KIDS ARE OUT OF SCHOOL FOR SUMMER.
AND, SO, PRETTY MUCH,
IT'S JUST ME AND THE GIRLS HANGING OUT TOGETHER.
LET'S START GETTING READY.
IT'S PAGEANT SEASON, AND AS MUCH AS WE LIKE TO SLEEP,
WE'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO BEFORE THE UPCOMING PAGEANT.
IF WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO THAT DAY,
I CAN GUARANTEE ALL OF US ARE IN THE BED
TILL 12:00, 1:00, SOMETIMES -- 2:00 IN THE AFTERNOON.
[ GRUNTS ]
IT'S TROUBLE TO GET ALL THE GIRLS OUT OF BED...
YES.
...ESPECIALLY ALANA.
Anna: AAH!
STOP NOW. YOU'RE MESSING MY PILLOWS.
[ CHUCKLES ]
OW! STOP. DON'T HIT NOBODY IN THE CHEST.
WHAT HAVE I DONE TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT?
[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]
WITH FIVE GIRLS AND ONE BATHROOM,
WE'VE LEARNED TO GET CREATIVE.
OUR HAIR'S ALWAYS BEEN WASHED IN THE KITCHEN SINK.
I MEAN, IT'S JUST SOMETHING THAT WE'VE ALWAYS DONE.
IT'S NOT, LIKE, DIRTINESS OR NOTHING.
WHEN YOU TAKE A BATH,
YOU'RE SITTING IN YOUR OWN FILTH, PRETTY MUCH,
SO YOU DON'T WANT YOUR HAIR TO BE NASTY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
ALANA! SEE?!
THAT'S -- NOW, YOU'RE GONNA PICK EVERY BIT OF THEM UP.
PUT IT BACK IN.
NO, YOU DON'T PUT THEM BACK IN THAT BOWL.
IN THE TRASH CAN.
THROWING IT DOWN THE DRAIN.
[ CHUCKLES ]
AS A MOM, TRY TO TEACH MY GIRLS GOOD HABITS.
YOU GOT TO TAKE PRIDE ON HOW YOU LOOK.
AND GRANTED, I AIN'T THE MOST BEAUTIMOUS OUT OF THE BOX,
BUT...
[ SMOOCHES ]
[ LAUGHS ]
Y'ALL READY?
WE'VE GOT ADVENTURES FOR TODAY.
[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ]
[ BELL CLANGING ]
CAN I DO THIS ONE WITH THIS ONE?
YEP.
SUNDAY, ALANA IS COMPETING IN A NATURAL PAGEANT.
LET ME SEE.
ALANA'S NEVER WON A GRAND SUPREME TITLE,
SO WE THOUGHT THAT WE WOULD GO TO THIS PAGEANT THIS WEEKEND
BECAUSE IT'S GOOD TO HAVE, LIKE, PRACTICE PAGEANTS
BEFORE A BIG PAGEANT
SO YOU KIND OF KNOW WHAT TO WORK ON AND WHAT NOT TO.
IT COULD HELP HER POSSIBLY GET TO A HIGHER TITLE
THAN SHE HAS BEEN IN THE PAST.
I'M THE QUEEN OF ALL.
PSHH.
[ SNAPS FINGERS ]
YEAH. [ SNAPS FINGERS ]
I THINK SHE DID PRETTY GOOD. I MEAN, SHE'S COMPETITIVE.
YOU KNOW, I MEAN, I'M GONNA BE THERE TO SUPPORT HER.
WE'RE GONNA EGG HER ON A LITTLE BIT.
YOU WANT TO, LIKE, SHOW THEM THAT YOU GOT SOME PERSONALITY.
YOU NEED TO BE SMILING AND POP THEM EYES.
THAT'S IT, BABY.
THAT'S IT, BABY.
[ CHEERING ]
WE'RE AT THE REDNECK GAMES!
IT'S HOT AS [BLEEP] OUT HERE TODAY.
June: I DON'T WANT THE GIRLS TO GET IN THE WATER
BECAUSE THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF FLESH-EATING BACTERIA DISEASE.
I'M JUST GONNA JUMP IN. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY.
PUMPKIN, DO NOT JUMP IN.
PUMPKIN!
YES, WE ARE REDNECKS.
NO, WE'RE NOT REDNECKS.
YES, WE ARE.
WE ALL HAVE OUT TEETH, DON'T WE?
WE'RE NOT REDNECKS.
WHOO!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
OH, MY GOD.
LOOK AT HIM. LOOK AT HIM.
[ SCOFFS ]
THERE'S SOME BROKE-DOWN PEOPLE OUT THERE.
[ CHUCKLES ]
PLEASE, WOMEN THAT ARE OF VOLUPTUOUS SIZE...
[CHUCKLES]
...PUT SOME CLOTHES ON.
Lauryn: EW, EW, EW, EW, EW!
THAT IS SEXY RIGHT THERE.
THAT'S THE MOST SEXIEST THING I'VE SEEN ALL DAY.
YOU DON'T SEE MY [BLEEP] ALL HANGING OUT.
MNH-MNH.
THERE'S GIRLS BIGGER THAN ME,
AND THEY DONE GOT THEM BIKINIS ON THAT, LIKE --
LITERALLY, THEY EATING A BIKINI.
THEIR BODY IS JUST EATING IT, LIKE [SLURPS]
[ SQUEALS ]
[ CHEERING ]
A NATURAL [BLEEP] DISASTER.
Man: EVERYBODY GET READY.
GET SET.
All: 5...4...3...2...1!
GO, PUMPKIN! GO GET IT!
GO, PUMPKIN! GET IT!
Girl: GO! GO!
PUMPKIN!
PUMPKIN, COME ON!
COME ON, PUMPKIN!
[ CHEERING ]
Man: WHOA! IT'S OVER.
[ CHEERING ]
Lauryn: I JUST COMPETED IN THE PIG-FEET THING,
AND I GOT TWO PIG'S FEET.
DID MY FAMILY PROUD, THOUGH.
PUMPKIN BOBBING FOR PIG FEET AT REDNECK GAMES...
PBHT! BOMBED OUT.
[ LAUGHS ]
[ INSECTS CHIRPING ]
[ BELCHES ]
June: THE TEMPERATURE IS VERY HOT TODAY.
I MEAN, IT'S HOT AS [BLEEP] OUT HERE TODAY --
I MEAN, REALLY, HONESTLY.
THIS TIME OF YEAR, GEORGIA IS HOT AS [BLEEP]
SO YOU GOT TO COOL OFF.
NO.
NASTY.
[ JUNE GASPS ]
ALL RIGHT, GOOD LUCK, GIRLS.
Man: ALL RIGHT.
[ CHEERING ]
All: 3...
...2...
...1!
[ CHEERING ]
June: OH, MY GOD.
OH, SH--
OHH!
REALLY?
[ CHEERING ]
ALANA!
Man: 3...2...
JESSICA!
[ CHEERING ]
I JUST DID THE MUD BELLY FLOP, AND I DID AWESOME.
[ CHEERING ]
[ SCREAMS ]
[ CHEERING ]
ALANA WAS SCARED AT FIRST, AND THEN SHE JUST DOVE IN.
[ WOMAN LAUGHS ]
June: THE GIRLS DIDN'T WIN THE MUD FLOP,
BUT THEY HAD FUN...
[ LAUGHS ]
AND, WOW, PEACE. DEUCES.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
Crowd: [ Chanting ] U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
Y'ALL READY?
Alana: OH, MY GOD!
[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ]
Alana: ME TOO!
June: ME TOO.
STOP! OH, NO, NO, NO.
YOU ALL -- NO.
AFTER THE HEAT OF THE REDNECK GAMES,
WE DECIDED TO STAY IN THE AIR CONDITIONING FOR A LITTLE WHILE.
EW, PUMPKIN! IT'S PAST THE 5-SECOND RULE.
MAMA.
WHY? I MEAN, I'VE ALWAYS CALLED YOU THAT.
'CAUSE.
CHUBBETTE IS MY 15-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER.
SHE IS GETTING TO HIGH SCHOOL. IT'S A DIFFERENT BALL GAME.
A LOT OF GIRLS CARE ABOUT WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE.
I WAS HAVING ISSUES AT SCHOOL WITH FITTING IN,
SO I DECIDED I WANTED TO LOSE WEIGHT.
IS THAT WHY YOU BEEN TRYING TO LOOK ALL NICE AND PRETTY
FOR THE LAST FEW DAYS OF SCHOOL?
I NEED TO START LOSING WEIGHT.
SHE'S BEEN KIND OF REALLY WORRIED ABOUT THE WAY SHE LOOKS.
WHAT?
OKAY.
HOW MUCH WEIGHT YOU GONNA LOSE?
WHEN YOU GONNA START?
Jessica: MY MOTHER HAS TOLD ME IN THE PAST
THAT IF YOU FART 12 TO 15 TIMES A DAY,
YOU CAN LOSE A LOT OF WEIGHT.
SO, I THINK I'M GONNA LOSE A LOT OF WEIGHT
BECAUSE I'M GONNA FART A LOT.
IF A PERSON FARTS 12 TO 15 TIMES A DAY, THEN THEY'RE HEALTHY.
SO, I GUESS MY GIRLS ARE HEALTHY IN THAT RESPECT.
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT I EMBRACE IT, MY FATNESS.
ALL RIGHT, WHO'S GONNA GO FIRST?
Lauryn: I'M GONNA GO FIRST.
I'M GOING!
June: HOLD ON A MINUTE!
I HAD TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.
WHAT WAS YOU DOING IN THERE?
ME!
WE ACTUALLY CAME UP WITH A CHALLENGE
FOR ALL THE GIRLS TO GET INVOLVED.
TELL MAMA. HOW MUCH?
69!
THE WHOLE FAMILY COULD STAND TO LOSE A LITTLE BIT OF WEIGHT HERE AND THERE.
ALL RIGHT.
Alana: GO, JESS! GO!
GO, JESSICA. GO!
GO, JESSICA! GO!
GO, JESSICA! GO!
[ GASPS ]
OH, MY GOD! 175!
WHOO!
Y'ALL READY? Y'ALL READY?
HOW MUCH Y'ALL THINK THIS SCALE GONNA SAY?
622 POUNDS.
IT'S GONNA SAY "ENOUGH."
"E."
IT WON'T WEIGH MAMA BECAUSE SHE'S SO BIG.
EXTRA BIG.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT -- EXTRA BIG, BABY.
MY MAMA,
FROM HER FEET TO HER HEAD, IS, LIKE, ENORMOUS.
WHAT? I MEAN, THERE'S NO OTHER WAY TO DESCRIBE HER.
309 POUNDS!
MY MAMA WEIGHS THE MOST IN MY FAMILY BECAUSE SHE'S FAT.
TRUE!
June: I WOULD LIKE TO LOSE 100 POUNDS,
TO BE BACK DOWN TO LIKE 200 POUNDS.
THAT WOULD BE, LIKE, MY ULTIMATE GOAL.
WHEN THIS WEIGHT-LOSS CHALLENGE GETS OVER,
PEOPLE WON'T BE CALLING ME "JAHADAHUT" OR WHATEVER.
"JAH" -- "JAHDA," WHATEVER.
"JAHODA," "JAHOODA," WHATEVER.
THEY GONNA BE CALLING ME "SEXIMUS MAMA," BABY.
WE'RE AT THE BEAUTIFUL FACES OF GEORGIA PAGEANT.
WE'RE LOOKING FOR A PRETTY SMILE AND LOTS OF PERSONALITY.
June: I'M HOPING THAT ALANA DOES VERY, VERY GOOD.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
BUT YOU NEVER KNOW.
WE ARE IN MACON AT THE BEAUTIFUL FACES OF GEORGIA PAGEANT.
WELL, GUESS WHAT? SOMEBODY'S DOING YOUR HAIR.
NATURAL AND GLITZ ARE TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT WORLDS.
[ SNEEZING ]
AND IF WE DO WIN THIS, I WILL BE VERY, VERY PROUD
BECAUSE THEY'RE JUDGING ON HER NATURAL BEAUTY.
WELL, GOOD MORNING, EVERYBODY.
THIS IS OUR FRESH FACES
AND BEAUTIFUL FACES OF GEORGIA COMPETITION.
WE'RE LOOKING FOR NATURAL KIDS.
WE'RE LOOKING FOR A PRETTY SMILE AND LOTS OF PERSONALITY.
AAH.
AAH! AAH!
Woman: THANK YOU, HANNAH.
Woman #2: GOOD JOB, HANNAH!
GOOD JOB, HANNAH!
NEXT UP IS OUR 5-TO-6 AGE GROUP. PLEASE COME TO THE STAGE.
NEXT UP, CONTESTANT 49, ALANA.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
ALANA HAS BLUE EYES AND BLOND HAIR.
SHE ENJOYS PAGEANTRY, MUD BOGGING,
AND BEING WITH HER FAMILY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
HER FAVORITE COLOR IS NEON PINK.
HER AMBITION -- TO BE ANYTHING SHE CAN CHOOSE.
THANK YOU, 49, ALANA.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
GOOD JOB!
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY. WE'RE READY TO GET STARTED.
SO, WE'RE GONNA BEGIN WITH OUR NATURAL BEAUTY.
June: WELL, I'M HOPING THAT ALANA DOES VERY, VERY GOOD.
BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER KNOW.
SO, OUR NATURAL BEAUTY TROPHY...
...NUMBER 33, ADRIANA.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
OUR BEST PERSONALITY TROPHY GOES TO 23, SARAH.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
SARAH, COME ON UP HERE, BABY.
OKAY, AND OUR MOST PROMISING MODEL TODAY
WAS JUST ONE OF THE KIDS THE JUDGES THOUGHT WAS OUTSTANDING.
SO, WE WANT TO AWARD THAT TO CONTESTANT NUMBER 98, CONNOR.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I MEAN, SHE DIDN'T WIN ANYTHING TODAY,
BUT IN MY BOOK, SHE'S ALWAYS A WINNER.
AGAIN, DON'T MISS THE ROCK STAR DIVA PAGEANT
COMING UP HERE IN THIS HOTEL.
SAFE TRAVELS HOME, AND WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME.
[ CRYING ]
COME ON, WE -- WE'LL COME BACK.
June: WHEN ALANA DIDN'T WIN ANYTHING AT THE PAGEANT,
SHE DID CRY. SHE WAS KIND OF UPSET.
BUT Y'ALL DID GOOD.
I MEAN, I REALLY BELIEVE Y'ALL DID GOOD.
WHETHER SHE WINS OR LOSES,
I'M ALWAYS GONNA BE SUPPORTIVE OF ALANA.
FOR THE ROCK STAR DIVA PAGEANT,
ALANA DOES HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
SHE NEEDS TO KEEP PRACTICING HER MODELING.
SHE NEEDS TO KEEP PRACTICING HER EYE CONTACT.
SHE'S STILL GOT A LONG WAY TO COME,
BUT I'M SURE SHE'LL GET THERE.
[ GIRL SCREAMS ]
WHEN I LOSE, YOU'RE STILL GOOD.
June: IT WAS REALLY HARD SEEING ALANA CRY WHEN SHE DIDN'T WIN.
AS HER MOM,
I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER DISAPPOINTED AND ALL THAT AGAIN,
SO I WANT TO BE ABLE TO GIVE HER EVERY CHANCE
TO COME BACK AND WIN.
Mike: IF WE CAN GET HER TO PRACTICE
AND DO HER ROUTINES LIKE SHE'S SUPPOSED TO,
EVENTUALLY, ONE DAY, ALANA COULD BE MISS AMERICA.
I AM NERVOUS ABOUT THE UPCOMING GLITZ PAGEANT
BECAUSE WE'RE GETTING A NEW DRESS, A NEW PAGEANT COACH.
SHE NEEDS TO START PRACTICING.
WE'RE REVAMPING EVERYTHING.
WE HAVE SIX WEEKS.
WE'VE GOT A LOT TO PREPARE FOR, AND SO WE'RE HOPING
THAT WE GET EVERYTHING TOGETHER ON TIME...
HONEY BOO BOO CHILD.