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>>> TONIGHT ON "RED EYE."
>> COMING UP ON "RED EYE,"
WELL BELGIUM EVER FIGURE OUT A
MORE EFFICIENT WAY OF
PRODUCING ORANGE JUICE?
WE WILL TAKE YOU IN THEIR
HIGHLY UNORTHODOX MENU OF THE
NUTRITIOUS DRINK.
AND WHICH OF THESE IS THE
PRESIDENT USING TO PLAN TO
INSTALL A NEW HOT TUB?
NEW HOT TUB?
NEW SAWN GNAW?
>> ALL OF THE ABOVE.
I WILL GET CONGRESS TO WORK
WITH US IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE
THAT GOAL.
>> AND FINALLY, IS THE PRAYING
MANTESS A BUG?
NONE OF THESE STORIES ON "RED
EYE" TONIGHT JIE. NOW LET'S
WELCOME OUR GUEST.
SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE JAROD
LETO'S DATE TO THE OSCARS, BUT
SHE COULDN'T HANDLE BE THE
LESS ATTRACTIVE WOMAN.
AND SHE IS SO HOT THAT GEORGE
FOREMAN OWNS A PATTI ANN
BROWNE GRILL.
I AM HERE WITH PATH TEE --
PATTI ANN BROWNE.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE JENNIFER
LAWRENCE'S DATE TO THE OSCARS,
BUT SHE COULDN'T PLAY SECOND
FIDDLE TO THE TRUE AMERICA'S
SWEETHEART.
IT IS ANDY LEVY.
AND HE ONCE STRANGLED A
RUSSIAN AGENT WITH A STRING OF
SPAGHETTI AND THEN SHAPED THE
PASTA INTO A DAGGER WHICH HE
POOPED OUT OF AN AL-QAEDA
TERRORIST KILLING HIM
INSTANTLY.
MIKE BAKER, FORMER CIA
OPERATOR AND CURRENT PRESIDENT
OF DILIGENCE, MAKER OF
DILIGENT PASTA STRAINERS AND
DILIGENCE HAIR NETS.
FOR YOUR PASTA TRAINERS AND
HAIR NET NEED.
THINK DILIGENCE.
DILIGENCE, IT IS BECAUSE THEY
JUST KILLED EVERYONE YOU HAVE
KNOWN.
>> A BLOCK.
THE LEDE.
THAT'S THE FIRST STORY.
HEY, GREG, NICE SHIRT.
HOW CAN I TALK YOU OUT OF IT?
IT IS OFFICIAL.
THE OSCARS HATE YOU.
43 MILLION PEOPLE WATCH
WATCHED THE EVENT.
AND THE NIELSEN COMPANY SAYS
SOCIAL MEDIA WAS A BIG FACTOR
WHICH BRINGS US TO JIMMY
KIMMLE.
RIGHT BEFORE THE SHOW STARTED
THE LATE NIGHT HOST CHOSE TO
SECURE THE HOME VIEWER FOR
BEING MEAN JUICEY JUMP
SUIT.
HELLO, IS THIS THE REAL
HOUSEWIVES OF 7-ELEVEN?
>> PEOPLE WHO WATCH THE OSCARS
ARE FAT AND GROTESQUE AND NOT
SKINNY LIKE JIMMY KIMMLE WHO
WAS ONCE FAT AND TBROA TESK.
DASH GROTESQUE.IZA MINUTE NELLY
IMPERSONATORS IN MY LIFE.
GOOD JOB, SIR.
>> FINALLY JENNIFER LAWRENCE
TRIPPED ON THE RED CARPET.
LET'S LOOK AT YEAR WHEN SHE
WAS RECEIVING HER AWARD.
CAN WE REWIND THAT?
>> NOTHING MORE ATTRACTIVE
THAN JULIE ANNA RANSIK'S
VOICE.
YOU LOOK GREAT.
SOMEBODY HAS BEEN HITTING THE
GYM.
>> SECOND SEASON COMING UP.
>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT
MEANS.
WOULD YOU CONSIDER IT AN
INVENTIVE STRATEGY TO CRAP ON
YOUR AUDIENCE BEFORE THE SHOW
BEGINS?
>> YOU WANT TO *** OFF THE
EXACT PEOPLE YOU WANT TO DRAW
IN AND WHO YOU DEPEND ON TO
BROADCAST THIS THING YEAR UPON
YEAR.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE OSCARS,
FULL DISCLOSURE.
BUT IN WATCHING THAT JUST NOW,
SO I AM FULLY INFORMED, IT IS
MEAN SPIRITED.
>> AND YOU HATE THAT.
YOU HATE MEAN SPIRITED STUFF.
>> ANYBODY WHO -- ANYBODY FROM
THE AGENCY THAT IS CIA, THE
OUTFIT, TENDS TO BE A GOOD
HEARTED, KIND INDIVIDUAL.
WE DON'T LIKE BULLYING.
>> YOU HAVE NEVER KILLED
ANYBODY.
>> I JUST AM GLAD YOU SAT AT
HOME AND THOUGHT THERE IS NO
CHANCE I WILL BE ON A TV SHOW
WHERE THEY WILL BE TALKING
ABOUT THE OSCARS.
I WON'T WATCH IT.
>> I MISSED THAT ONE.
I WAS FASCINATED BY WHAT IS
GOING ON IN RUSSIA AND PAID
ATTENTION TO THAT.
>> YEAH, I GUESS YOU CAN'T
HANDLE TWO THINGS AT ONCE.
SAYING I DIDN'T WATCH THE
OSCARS WAS LIKE I DON'T HAVE A
TV.
>> CAN I POINT ONE THING OUT?
THE INTRO WITH THE PASTA AND
THE DAGGER, THAT'S
CLASSIFIED.
WE WILL HAVE TO TALK LATER.
>> PAB, YOU HATE VIEWERS
ALMOST AS MUCH AS KIMMEL.
DID HE GO TOO FAR OR NOT FAR
ENOUGH?
>> ALL OF US WHO ARE ON TV
HAVE BEEN INSULTED -- WELL,
EXCEPT MIKE BAKER BECAUSE WHO
WOULD DARE?
I HAVE HAD PEOPLE WRITE ME
LIKE, ONE OF YOUR EYEBROWS IS
HIGHER UP THAN THE OTHER ONE.
>> REALLY?
I MEAN ARE YOU A SUPERMODEL IS
YOUR FACE COMPLETELY SAW METRA
CAL?
ON ON THE ONE HAND WE CAN
APPRECIATE THE HUMOR, BUT IT
IS NOT THE SAME THING.
THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT ON TV.
WE ARE OUT HERE -- WE INVITE
THE CRITICISM.
THESE PEOPLE AT HOME DON'T SIT
THERE WANTING TO BE JUDGED.
I THOUGHT IT WAS MEAN AND IT
TURNED ME OFF.
INSULTING SOMEBODY THAT SHOPS
AT 7-ELEVEN, YOU ARE INSULTING
EVERYBODY.
>> YES.
THE THING IS, JIMMY KIMMLE WAS
IN A GREAT SHOW CALLED "THE
MAN SHOW."
YOU WERE LIKE FOUR AT THE
TIME.
DO YOU REMEMBER IT?
>> NO.
>> YOUR DAD WOULD BE WATCHING
IT AND THEN HE WOULD TURN IT
OFF.
>> NO, HE WAS WATCHING FOX
NEWS.
NOT KIDDING.
>> THAT'S WHY WE HIRED YOU.
HE THREATENED ME.
HE HAD MY FAMILY.
>> HE WOULDN'T.
>> THE POINT IS HE WAS AN OVER
WEIGHT SCLUB AND IT WAS HIM
AND ADAM COROLLA.
NOW HE IS SKINNY AND ON A
NETWORK SHOW.
>> HE IS PROJECTING HIS OWN
INSECURITIES.
HE WISHES HE WERE ON THE COUCH
EATING CHEESE PUFFS AND
DRINKING FROM A BOX OF WINE.
NOW HE IS ONE OF THEM.
>> HE HAS BECOME THEM.
>> AND HE RECENTS THAT FACT.
LISTEN, WE KNOW WE MEAN
TWEET.
I WAS DOING IT ON THE COUCH
AFTER EATING PIZZA.
I DO IT BECAUSE I CAN.
I AM NOT UP FOR AN AWARD.
THESE DAYS WON'T LAST.
ONE DAY I MAY HAVE TO ACCEPT
AN AWARD SO I APPRECIATE THIS
TIME.
>> AND WE WILL BE MEAN
TWEETING ABOUT YOU.
>> IT IS THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
EMBRACE IT.
>> I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT KIND OF AWARD SHOW?
>> DOG SHOW?
>> PUT YOUR PASSION INTO A
LITTLE ANIMAL.
I DO.
>> WELL, HE DID HAVE SLIGHT
PAWS.
>> THAT WAS GOOD, AMERICA.
>> I THINK LITTLE PASSIONS IS
A CUTE NICKNAME.
>> IT IS LIKE A SOAP OPERA.
REASONING?ANT ME TO CONTINUE
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT ELLEN'S
JOKE ABOUT LIZA.
I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY, BUT
SOME PEOPLE SAY IT WAS TRANS
PHOBIC.
CAN A LESBIAN GET AWAY WITH A
TRANS PHOBIC JOKE?
>> I DON'T THINK IT IS TRANS
PHOBIC.
IT SHOCKED PEOPLE WHICH IS A
LITTLE MEAN WHICH IS NOT
ELLEN.
SHE IS JUST NOT MEAN.
IT WAS BASICALLY THE
EQUIVALENT OF MAKING A FAT
JOKE TO THE GIRL , PRECIOUS.
I DON'T GET WHY IT WAS TWAINS
-- TRANS PHOBIC AT ALL.
>> I THINK SHE WAS A LITTLE
UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE SHE
STUTTERED TWICE.
SHE PROBABLY PRACTICED A BUNCH
OF TIMES BEFOREHAND.
I THINK THAT WAS REVEALING.
>> WHICH MAKES YOU WONDER.
IF YOU PRACTICE THAT JOKE ONCE
OR TWICE, WOULDN'T COMMON
SENSE TELL YOU TO CUT IT OUT?
>> THAT HAS NEVER STOPPED ME.
I WILL PRACTICE A JOKE EVEN IF
IT IS NOT FUNNY UNTIL I RUN IT
INTO THE GROUND.
THEN WHEN I COME HERE I WILL
RUIN IT.
I WILL DESTROY IT.
I WILL TAKE IT OUT TO THE
WOODS AND SHOOT IT IN THE
HEAD.
HE IS CAUSING PAIN IN
UKRAINE.
NOTICE HOW WE GOT RID OF THE
"THE."
PUTIN IS FACING STRONG WORD
DECLARATIONS FROM THE U.S. AND
THE EUROPEAN UNION AFTER
MOVING TROOPS TO THE CRY ME
YEN RE-- C RI MEAN REGION OF
THE UKRAINE.
DOES HE GIVE A CRAP?
LOOK AT HIS FACE.
CLEARLY HE GIVES A CRAP.
PRESIDENT OBAMA SAID WHAT
CANNOT BE DONE WITH RUSSIA
WITH IMPUNITY AND VIOLATES
BASIC PRINCIPALS RECOGNIZED
AROUND THE WORLD.
>> WHAT CANNOT BE DONE IS FOR
RUSSIA WITH IMPUNITY TO PUTETTS
SOLDIERS ON THE -- TO PUT ITS
SOLDIERS ON THE GROUND AND
VIOLATE BASIC PRINCIPALS THAT
ARE RECOGNIZED AROUND THE
WORLD.
>> THAT'S A GOOD NAME FOR A
PET, BASIC PRINCIPALS.
CONSTANTLY VIOLATING BASIC
PRINCIPALS.
I WONDER IF HE SAYS HE THINKS
THE STRONG CONDEMNATION IT
RECEIVES FROM COUNTRIES
INDICATES THE DEGREE OF HOW
RUSSIA IS ON THE WRONG SIDE OF
HISTORY.
>> THE STRONGON CDEMNATION IT
HAS RECEIVED FROM COUNTRIES
AROUND THE WORLD, INDICATES
THE DEGREE TO WHICH RUSSIA IS
ON THE WRONG SIDE OF HISTORY.
>> IS PUTIN PREPARING FOR
>> MAYBE THAT IS ALL IT WILL
TAKE.
AN EAGER CAT TO STOP HIM.
BAKER, YOU ARE HERE BECAUSE
YOU ARE AN EXPERT ON THESE
MATTERS.
WHAT CAN BE DONE ON THIS?
SHOULD WE DO ANYTHING?
THIS IS A BAD THING THAT PUTIN
IS DOING, BUT IS THIS BAD
THING AFFECTING US, OR IS IT
SENDING A MESSAGE?
>> OH, THE MESSAGE.
IS IT SENDING A MESSAGE, THAT
WHOLE CHESTNUT.
WHAT CAN WE DO?
I CAN'T SAY [BLEEP].
I WILL SAY WE HAVE NO
LEVERAGE.
HERE IS THE THING.
PUTIN HAS BEEN LONGING FOR THE
RECONSTRUCTION OF THE FORMER
SOVIET UNION FOR A LONG,
LONGTIME.
IN 2005 HE MADE A SPEECH.
IN THE SPEECH HE SAID THE
COLLAPSE OF THE SOVIET UNION
WAS THE LARGEST GEO POLITICAL
DISASTER OF THE CENTURY.
THREE YEARS LATER HIS TROOPS
ROLL INTO RUSSIA.
SORRY THEY ROLL INTO GEORGIA.
WHAT DOES HE GET OUT OF THAT?
PEOPLE SAY HE RETREATED.
HE DIDN'T RETREAT.
HE ENDED UP WITH TWO
REPUBLICS.
NOW HE IS IN CRIMEA.
EVER SINCE HE WAS IN POWER WE
UNDERESTIMATED HIM,
MISUNDERSTOOD HIM.
HE NEVER BELIEVES THE COLD WAR
ENDED.
THAT'S HIS MIND-SET.
WHEN THEY SAY I THINK HE IS
OUT OF HIS MIND AND EVERYBODY
SAYS, YES, IT DOES SEEM LIKE
AN ANOMALY, THAT'S WHAT WE
HAVE ALWAYS DONE WITH PUTIN.
THIS IS WHAT HE INTENDS TO
DO.
>> WE ARE NOT ALLIES, WE ARE
RIVALS.
>> THE IDEA WE ARE GOING TO
RESET AND HOLD HANDS A AND U
NIE CORNS ARE GOING TO FLY OUT
OF OUR *** --
>> THEY FLY OUT?
I HAVE BEEN DOING IT
BACKWARDS.
>> WHAT WILL HAPPEN A IS ALL
OF THIS OUTRAGE IS JUST GOING
TO DISSIPATE BECAUSE WE HAVE A
-- ATTENTION DEFICIT
DISORDER.
WE WILL CHASE THE NEXT SHINY
THING NEXT WEEK.
HE WILL NOT GO INTO CRIMEA AND
WE WILL CONSIDER IT A
DIPLOMATIC VICTORY AND HE GETS
WHAT HE WANTS.
>> CAN YOU REFUTE ANYTHING HE
JUST SAID?
>> I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING
HE JUST SAID.
>> THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH
AMERICA.
>> DID YOU HAVE A QUESTION?
MITT ROMNEY WAS MOCKED WHEN HE
SAID RUSSIA WAS OUR NUMBER ONE
GEO POLITICAL FOE?
PEOPLE SAID PLEASE, THIS GUY
IS IN THE -- IS STUCK IN THE
COLD WAR AND PUTIN IS OUR
PAL.
THE FACT THAT HE IS TURNING
OUT TO BE RIGHT WILL GO OVER
MITT ROMNEY CRITIC HEADS.
>> IT IS A SHAME.
YOU CLAIM TO BE UKRAINIAN
BECAUSE YOU THINK IT IS
INTERESTING.
ARE YOU WORRIED?
CONCERNED?
DO YOU HAVE RELATIVES?
>> I AM FIFTH GENERATION.
MY LAST NAME IS THE MOST
UKRAINIAN THING ABOUT ME.
IF I DO HAVE FAMILY THERE, OH,
MAN, IT IS TERRIBLE.
IT IS TERRIBLE WHAT IS
HAPPENING.
WE ALL JUST FEEL SO HOPELESS.
WE WANT TO HELP AND HAVE GREAT
ADVICE, BUT AT THIS POINT I
FEEL IT IS A LITTLE TOO LATE.
>> YOU SOUND LIKE THE WHITE
HOUSE.
>> THE POINT IS -- YOU JUST
STARTED WORKING HERE.
SHE IS ALREADY LOOKING FOR
ANOTHER JOB.
WE SHOULD HAVE HIRED THE FAT
GUY.
MY POINT WAS -- DAMN IT.
THE POINT IS, IF IT IS TOO
LATE WHAT YOU DO NOW IS TO
PREVENT WHAT HE IS GOING TO DO
NEXT.
YOU GET PART OF THIS REGION.
WE HAVE TO SEND A MESSAGE TO
THE OTHER TYRANTS AROUND THE
WORLD AND A MESSAGE TO HIM
THAT THAT IS WHERE IT ENDS.
WHAT ABOUT SAYING WE DON'T
NEED TANKS.
WE NEED BANKS.
>> I THINK WE WERE TALKING
ABOUT THIS EARLIER AND HIS
POINT IS YOU NEED TO -- THE
ONLY THING PUTIN CARES ABOUT
IS HE AND THE MONEY THEY HAVE
IF WE CAN FREEZE THEIR
ACCOUNTS AND TURN HIM AGAINST
HIM, THAT'S THE ONE THING THAT
MIGHT WORRY HIM.
>> I DON'T THINK THEY ARE
GOING DOWN THAT PATH.
I DON'T THINK THEY ARE GOING
TO CARE ABOUT THIS.
THE ONE THING WE HAVE TO DO IS
WHAT HAS BEEN DONE IN THE
PAST.
WE KNOW THAT PUTIN IS A
DIFFERENT CHARACTER WHEN THE
PRICE OF OIL DROPS.
THAT'S WHERE WE HAVE SOME
ABILITY.
PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT
DESTROYING THE RUBBLE.
THE OIL IS SOMETHING WE HAVE
SEEN IN THE PAST.
WE HAVE BEEN ABLE TO IMPACT.
>> WHY DON'T WE START DRILLING
MORE?
THAT'S WHAT I SAID ON "THE
FIVE."
I SAID DRILL, DRILL, DRILL.
THAT ONE HAS SAID THAT.
IT IS A BOAT FOR OLIGS,
RIGHT?
THE QUESTION I WANTED TO ASK
YOU BUT FORGOT, YOUR BFF
SNOWDEN HAS PICKED A GREAT
COUNTRY TO DEFECT IN.
>> I AM PRETTY SURE HE DIDN'T
DEFECT.
>> I THINK YOU WROTE IT TO
ME.
>> HAVE I TO SAY I AM
SHOCKED -- I HAVE TO SAY I AM
SHOCKED SNOWDEN WOULD MAKE
PUTIN DO THIS.
I DIDN'T SEE THAT AT ALL.
NOW I FEEL BAD.
I FEEL LIKE OUR FOREIGN POLICY
NOW CONSISTS OF TWO OPTIONS.
WE DO EITHER THE EQUIVALENT OF
A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER TO
THE EDITOR OR DEATH BY DRONE.
THAT IS PRETTY MUCH WHAT OUR
FOREIGN POLICY HAS BECOME WITH
NOTHING ELSE.
>> ARE YOU SUGGESTING WE TAKE
OUT PUTIN WITH A DRONE?
>> I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A
STRONGLY WORDED DRONE.
>> A DRONE THAT DROPS OFF THE
LETTER.
>> WAIT A MINUTE.
THAT'S PRESIDENT OBAMA.
IT IS A DRONE THAT DROPS OFF A
LETTER.
YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS IS
BASICALLY A SOAP -- IT IS A
HANGOVER.
YOU WAKE UP AND YOU REALIZE
THIS NEVER WAS A GOOD
RELATIONSHIP I LOVE RUSSIA.
THEY WANT TO SEPARATE RUSSIA
FROM PUTIN.
>> THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT HE
SAID.
YOU DON'T PUNISH THE RUSSIAN
PEOPLE, BUT GAO AFTER --
AGAIN, HE SAYS YOU GO AFTER
THE OLEGARDS.
THE WESTERN BANKS HAVE
WELCOMED AND YOU PREES THEIR
ASSETS AND THAT MIGHT MAKE
THEM NOT LOOK AT PUTIN SO
NICELY.
>> HE HAS CREATED A LOT OF
MULTI BILLIONAIRES THERE.
I DON'T THINK WE UNDERSTAND
THE DEPTH OF THE LOYALTY AND
TIES THAT EXIST.
>> I KNOW DILIGENCE SELLS A
LOT OF ARMS AND STUFF.
>> WE ARE MAKING A FORTUNE.
>> WE HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK.
COMING UP, WHAT IS IT LIKE TO
WORK FOR THE CIA?
MIKE BAKER DISCUSSES HIS
LATEST BOOK "I'M GORGEOUS AND
YOU'RE NOT.
THE MEEK BAKER STORY -- THE
MIKE BAKER STORY BY MIKE
BAKER."
FIRST, IS IT BETTER TO YELL?
WE WILL COME TO OUR OWN
CONCLUSIONS NEXT.
>>> IS YELLING THE NEW
SPANKING?
IS SPANKING THE NEW ***?
IT IS A SUBJECT OF TONIGHT'S
--
>> "RED EYE" DEBATE 2014, LIVE
FROM THE" RED EYE" DEBATE
CENTER.
>> THERE WE GO.
WELCOME TO TONIGHT'S "RED EYE"
DEBATE.
I'M GREG GUTFELD AND HOST OF
TONIGHT'S "RED EYE" DEBATE.
ACCORDING TO RESEARCHERS AND
ANYONE WHO SPENT TAME IN
WAL-MART, TODAY'S PARENTS ARE
YELLING AT THEIR CHILDREN MORE
THAN EVER.
ACCORDING TO ONE EXPERT,
QUOTE, YELLING IS THE NEW
SPANKING, BUT IT COMES WITH A
COST.
PARENTS OFTEN FEEL GUILTY AND
THERE HAS BEEN A BACKLASH TO
THE TONGUE LASH.
THEY HAVE CHALLENGED PARENTS
TO NOT YELL FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR
EVEN IF THE KID IS CUTTING OFF
HIS OWN FINGERS.
I ADDED THAT.
IT IS NOT TRUE.
PAB, YOU CLAIM TO HAVE
CHILDREN.
HAVEN'T SEEN ANY PROOF.
YOU DON'T CARRY PICTURES.
WHAT METHOD OF PUNISHMENT DO
YOU USE?
A WHIP, A HAIR BRUSH?
A COMBINATION OF BOTH?
>> THE STUDY DID NOT MENTION
TASERS.
THEY ARE OKAY.
>> THAT IS GOING TO BE TAKEN
OUT OF CONTEXT.
BY ME.
I WILL RUIN YOUR CAREER.
WHAT ABOUT YELLING?
YOU ARE A MOM.
>> MY HUSBAND AND I DON'T
BELIEVE IN SPANKING.
WE DO THE YELLING THING.
>> BETWEEN YOU TWO OR WHAT?
>> THAT'S A DIFFERENT ISSUE.
YELLING DOESN'T WORK.
YOU JUST YELL LOUDER AND THAT
DOESN'T WORK AND THEN YOU ARE
SCREAMING.
AND THEN THE KID JUST TUNES
YOU OUT OR THEY ARE
TRAUMATIZED AND THEN YOU FEEL
GUILTY AS A PARENT.
IT DOESN'T WORK ANYWAY.
CARROTS AND STICKS.
CARROTS ARE ALL YOU FEED THEM
FOR DINNER AFTER YOU BEAT THEM
WITH STICKS.
>> I THOUGHT YOU TAKE CARROTS
AND PUT THEM IN A PILLOWCASE
AND TWIST IT AND BEAT THEM
WITH THAT.
THAT'S WHAT I USED TO DO.
MIKE, THEY PUT A LOT OF FOCUS
ON ON YELLING AND SPANKING.
ARE THERE OTHER USEFUL METHODS
SOME -- USEFUL METHODS THAT
DON'T INVOLVE VIOLENCE OR
SCREAMING?
>> THAT'S TRUE.
I HAVE THREE LITTLE BOYS AND
THEY ARE 6, 4, 2.
>> HAVE YOU THREE NOW?
>> I'VE GOT THREE.
TIME FLIES.
>> I FIND SLEEP DEPRIVATION
AND TEMPERATURE VARIATION.
>> WHAT DO YOU DO?
>> PAB IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
THE YELLING JUST SPIRALS OUT
OF CONTROL.
BUT SOMETIMES AS A PAISHT, --
AS A PARENT THAT'S ALL YOU CAN
DO.
THEY SAY STEP AWAY UNTIL YOU
ARE CALMER.
SOMETIMES YOU JUST REALIZE --
IT IS OKAY TO UNDERSTAND THAT
THE KIDS CAN BE [BLEEP].
ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU
ARE HALFWAY DOWN THE ROAD TO
CONTROLLING YOUR OWN.
PART OF THIS IS YOU YELL
BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT WHAT
THEY ARE DOING IS A BAD
REFLECTION ON YOU.
I FOUND IF I TALK IN A LOW
VOICE.
MY DAD NEVER YELLED.
HE NEVER SPANKED.
WE NEVER WANTED TO DISAPPOINT
HIM.
WHEN WE HAD DONE SOMETHING
WRONG HE WOULD JUST LOOK AT
YOU AND HE WOULD LOWER HIS
VOICE AND TALK TO US.
I CAME FROM A FAMILY OF BOYS
AND I TRY TO DO THAT WITH MY
BOYS OCCASIONALLY AND IT
DOESN'T WORK AND THEN YOU GO
TO THE STRESS POSITIONS.
THE SPANKING I THINK
OCCASIONALLY YOU HAVE TO GIVE
THEM A SWAT IF THEY ARE JUST
NOT PAYING ATTENTION OR
SOMETHING NOT WORKING FOR
THEM.
HONESTLY MY BOYS IF I DO THAT
THEY LOOK AT ME AND LAUGH AND
WALK AWAY.
>> JOANNE, YOU HAVE SIX
CHILDREN BY FIVE CHILDREN GUYS
AND AN OSPREY WHICH IS A BIRD
OF PREY.
DO YOU HAVE THOUGHTS ON THIS?
>> WELL, THE PUNISHMENT I DOLL
OUT TO MY SEVERAL CHILDREN IS
I TAKE THOSE CHILD SUPPORT
CHECKS AND I SPEND THEM ON
MYSELF.
THEY DON'T EAT FOR WEEKS AT A
TIME.
THEY LOOK GREAT.
>> YOU HAVE BAGS OF FOREVER 21
GEAR ALL OVER THE HOUSE.
>> AND THEY ARE TOO WEAK TO
MISBEHAVE.
>> BUT THEN THEY CAN'T WORK
FOR ME.
PAINT MY NAILS.
IT IS NOT A WIN-WIN.
MY MOTHER DID THE SILENT
TREATMENT A LOT WHICH I THINK
WORKS BETTER THAN YELLING.
KIDS WANT ATTENTION.
WE CRAVE IT.
WHEN SHE WOULD BE SILENT,
THAT'S WHEN I KNEW I DID
SOMETHING REALLY BAD.
I HAD TO FIGURE A WAY OUT OF
IT.
KIDS ARE SPONGES AND THEY
ABSORB THE ENERGY.
I AM NOT THE PARENT HERE.
YOU KNOW WHAT WORKS A LOT
BETTER THAN I DO.
I AM THE BEST PARENT HERE AND
I DON'T EVEN HAVE KIDS.
>> THE UKRAINIANS WERE RIGHT.
SOMETIMES KIDS FEEL ANY
ATTENTION IS BETTER THAN NO
ATTENTION.
WHAT HAPPENS IS YOU REVERT TO
YELLING AND SPANKING AND
EVENTUALLY THE KID ARE FEEDING
FOR THE BAD ATTENTION.
AT LEAST IT IS SOME
ATTENTION.
>> WELL I WANT TO ASK ANDY.
IN A WAY YOU HAVE CHILDREN.
THEY ARE CATS.
DO YOU EVER RAISE YOUR VOICE
TO THEM AND DO THEY EVEN CARE
AT THIS POINT SEEING AS YOU
LIVE AS A POOR EXAMPLE TO
THEM.
>> I HATE YELLING.
I ABSOLUTELY HATE YELLING.
I WORKED AT A PLACE WHERE THE
BOSS WAS A YELLER AND IT WAS
PAINFUL.
RAISINGNK THERE IS A
YOUR VOICE AND YELLING.
YOU DO AT TIMES HAVE TO RAISE
YOUR VOICE.
LIKE YOU SAID, IF YOU START
YELLING THEN YOU HAVE TO
ESCALATE AND ESCALATE.
IF YOU DO IT RARELY THEY KNOW
THAT THEY HAVE REALLY DONE
SOMETHING WRONG IF YOU ARE
GOING TO RAISE YOUR VOICE.
THE PROBLEM IS IF IT IS OVER
DONE.
IF YOU ARE YELLING ABOUT
EVERYTHING -- IT IS LIKE THE
PEOPLE CONSTANTLY OUTRAGED.
IF YOU ARE OUTRAGED ABOUT
SOMETHING YOU ARE OUTRAGED FOR
EVERYTHING.
IT IS LIKE A KID WILL DO
SOMETHING WHERE HE COULD DIE.
>> OR LOOKING INTO MY SPECIAL
DRAWER.
>> YOU HAVE A SPECIAL DRAWER?
>> WHO DOESN'T HAVE A SPECIAL
DRAWER.
I HAVE A SPECIAL CLOSET WITH
ANOTHER SPECIAL DRAWER IN THE
CLOSET.
>> IT IS A LITTLE CLOSET IN
TH DRAWER.
>> EXACTLY.
IT IS WHERE I HANG UPSIDE
DOWN.
>> IT IS A RUSSIAN NESTING
DOLL OF OBSCENITY.
>> EVERYBODY HERE OR MAYBE
JUST THE GUYS HERE, YOU MUST
BE REMEMBER BEING YELLED AT BY
A STRANGER.
THAT'S THE THING THAT STICKS
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
THERE IS NOTHING MORE AMAZING
WHEN YOU YELL AT A CHILD YOU
DON'T KNOW.
YOU CAN'T YELL AT ME.
YOU ARE NOT MY PARENT.
YOU SAY THEY'RE NOT HERE!
THEY'RE NOT HERE! I DON'T
WANT YOU MAKING THAT NOISE
ANYMORE, CHILD.
AND THEY ARE SO TERRIFIED.
THEN YOU WALK AWAY.
>> HOW OFTEN DO YOU DO THIS?
>> I USED TO DO IT AT THE GYM
THE KIDS WOULD PLAY AND I
WOULD WAIT AND SAY SHUT UP!
>> WHAT GYM WERE YOU WORKING
OUT AT WHERE THE KIDS WOULD
PLAY.
>> GYMBOREE.
>> SOMETIMES THEY WOULDN'T GET
OUT OF THE BALL PUT.
>> IT IS ADULT SWIM IN THE
BALL PIT.
THEY HAD THAT AT McDONALDS.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY OUT.
>> THE WEIRD OWE IN THE SPEEDO
WALKS IN.
>> GOGGLES.
>> COMING UP HARRISON IS FORD
IS DEAD -- TIRED OF AWARD
SHOWS.
CAN YOU BLAME HIM?
WHY IS THIS WOMAN SUING?
AS SOON AS I READ THE STORY I
WILL TELL YOU.
HOW ADORABLE.
>>> ARE THOSE LACKING HEIGHT
NOT SO BRIGHT?
IT IS TIME FOR ANOTHER --
>> "RED EYE" DEBATE 2014, LIVE
FROM THE" RED EYE" DEBATE
CENTER.
>> WELCOME TO TONIGHT'S SECOND
"RED EYE" DEBATE LIVE FROM
THE" RED EYE" DEBATE CENTER.
I AM GREG GUTFELD, THE HOST OF
THE "RED EYE" DO BIT.
SCOTT A SCIENTIST CLAIMED
SHORTER PEOPLE ARE MORE LIKELY
TO HAVE A LOWER IQ THAN THEIR
TALLER COUNTERPARTS.
THEY CAME TO THE CONCLUSION
AFTER MEASURING PEOPLE'S
HEIGHT AGAINST REACTION TIMES
AND POWER OF RECALL.
NONE OF THESE THINGS WE USE IN
EVERYDAY LIFE.
YOU ARE HOT, TALL AND SMART
AND YOU NEVER HAD TO WORRY
ABOUT ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE.
>> DO YOU BUY THIS?
>> ACTUALLY I DON'T BUY IT.
SOME OF THE SMARTEST PEOPLE I
KNOW ARE ABOUT YOUR HEIGHT.
>> 5 FOOT 9?
>> WE ARE ALL GOING IN THE
SAME DIRECTION.
FOR GREG'S BENEFIT I WILL
SPEAK LOUDLY AND SLOWLY.
WHAT DO I KNOW?
I AM NOT A SCIENTIST.
>> COULD HAVE FOOLED ME.
>> I HAVE MET SOME SMART SHORT
PEOPLE AND COMPLETE TALL
[BLEEP] THAT #R BRIGHT.
>> THAT'S A GOOD RESPONSE.
>> ANDY, MAYBE HEIGHT INSPIRES
MORE CONFIDENCE SO YOU
ACTUALLY DO BETTER, BUT ARE
YOU STILL REALLY DUMB.
>> NO, I THINK IT IS JUST THAT
THE STUDY IS CORRECT, FOR MEN
ANYWAY.
I KNOW A LOT OF SMART SHORT
WOMEN.
I CAN'T THINK OF A SINGLE
SHORT MAN WITH ANY
INTELLECTUAL CAPABILITY OR
CAPACITY THAT I KNOW.
I DO THINK THE STUDY GOES TOO
FAR.
IT STARTS OUT WITH LOW
INTELLIGENCE.
THEN IT GOES UP AND IT HITS 5
FOOT 11, 6 FEET AND IT IS APEX
AND THEN GOES BACK DOWN.
THEY GOT THAT PART WRONG.
IT IS PRETTY SPOT ON.
>> PAB, I WOULD ARGUE SHORT
PEOPLE ARE SMARTER BECAUSE
THEY HAVE TO BE IN ORDER TO
GET AHEAD IN LIFE.
THEY ARE CONSTANTLY FACED WITH
DISCRIMINATION FROM TALL
H-HOLES -- A-HOLES.
DID YOU SEE HOW I EDITED
MYSELF.
>> IT IS A GOOD ARGUMENT.
ALBERT EINSTEIN, 5 FOOT 9.
EVERY PRESIDENT SINCE REGAN,
OVER 6 FEET.
ARE THEY ALL SMARTER THAN
EINSTEIN?
>> NO.
>> I REST MY CASE.
>> THAT'S REALLY GOOD.
>> JOANNE, I DON'T WANT TO
SPEND MUCH TIME ON THIS.
I CAN PROVE THIS STUDY IS
BOGUS WITH TWO WORDS.
FASHION MODELS.
THEY ARE NOT SMART.
>> YOU HAVE A POINT.
>> THANKS.
>> AND THEY ARE WOMEN.
>> I DIDN'T SAY WOMEN.
>> I THINK THESE STUDIES ARE
FASCINATING.
IT IS NEVER DONE ON AVERAGE
SIZED PEOPLE, AVERAGE ANYTHING
PEOPLE.
WHY AREN'T WE EXCEPTIONAL?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> HOW TALL ARE YOU?
>> I AM 5 FOOT 5, BUT ANY
WEBSITE YOU SEE SAYS I AM 5
FOOT 7 THANKS TO MY OLD
PUBLICIST.
SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO BE
TALLER TO BE WELL LIKED.
>> THAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH
SOCIETY.
YOU NAILED IT RIGHT THERE.
NEXT TOPIC.
WHERE AM I?
A FEDERAL APPEALS COURT RULED
IT IS UNCONSTITUTIONAL FOR A
HIGH SCHOOL COACH TO REQUIRE
BOYS TO GET DECENT HAIRCUTS.
STACY MEYER, A COACH IN
INDIANA, EXPECTED PLAYERS TO
KEEP THEIR HAIR ABOVE THE
EARS, EYEBROWS AND COLLER.
HE SAID IT PROMOTES TEAM UNITY
AND A WHOLESOME, CLEAN CUT,
IMAGE.
THE PARENTS OF A STUDENT SUED
WHEN HE DIDN'T MAKE THE TEAM
AFTER REFUSING TO CUT HIS
HAIR.
THE COURT RULED IN THEIR FAVOR
BECAUSE NO GIRLS HAD POLICIES
REGARDING HAIR LENGTH.
FUNNY SIDE NOTE, THERE IS NO
FUNNY SIDE NOTE.
LET'S ADDRESS THE SEXIST PART
OF THIS.
WOMEN DON'T HAVE THIS.
WHY SHOULD MEN?
>> THAT'S ONE OF THE MOST
DIFFICULT PARTS OF THE CASE.
OTHERWISE I WOULD SAY PLAYING
ON A TEAM IS A PRIVILEGE AND A
RIGHT.
TEAMS CAN SET RULES AND IF YOU
DON'T WANT TO FOLLOW THEM, YOU
DON'T HAVE TO JOIN.
IT IS TRICKY WITH THE FACT
THAT THE WOMEN'S TEAMS DON'T
HAVEY QIFL LEPT -- EQUIVALENT
RULES.
WHAT THEY SAID IN THE RULING
IS THIS IS NOT CRAZY LONG HIPY
HAIR.
IT SAYS IT HAS TO BE ABOVE THE
EYEBROWS AND ALL OF THE TEEN
BOYS HAVE THE MOP TOPS OVER
THE EYEBROWS.
>> I THINK THE SOLUTION FOR
WOMEN AND MEN IS SHAVE THEIR
HEADS BALD.
THAT IS PERFECT EQUALITY.
DO YOU THINK IF THE GUY WAS
REALLY GOOD AT SPORTS HE WOULD
MAKE AN EXCEPTION?
>> I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD BE
AN ISSUE.
WE NEED TO TAKE OUR CUE WITH
HAIR LENGTH WITH THE LENGTH OF
BASKETBALL SHORTS.
>> HAPPY DAYS IT WAS CLEAN CUT
AND SHORT.
THE SHORTS WERE TINY.
THE LONGER THEY GET, I
THINK -- WE NEED TO BE MORE
LAX WITH OUR HAIR STYLE.
>> I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE THE
LONG SHORTS, MIKE.
>> LONG FOR THOSE -- THE TINY
SHORTS WITH THE LONG SOCKS?
>> THERE IS A CLASSIC --
>> LARRY BIRD.
>> THE KIND OF THING GROWING
UP YOU TOOK A GYM CLASS OR
VOLUNTEERED TO HELP WITH GYM
CLASSES.
THAT'S SOMETHING I OFTEN DID
EVEN AFTER HIGH SCHOOL AND
COLLEGE.
>> TOOK THE KIDS TO GET THEIR
FIRST JOB STRAP.
>> IT CAN BE CONFUSING.
THEY DON'T LET YOU TRY IT ON
AND YOU CAN'T RETURN IT.
>> I CALLED IT THE TOTALLY
COOL AWESOME FOUR-WHEEL RIDE
FOR YOU.
>> I DON'T GET WHAT PAB WAS
SAYING IN TERMS OF THE PROBLEM
IS IT IS NOT THE SAME FOR
GIRLS.
>> WE ARE GOING OVER -- GOING
OFF THE RAM.
OFF THE RAIL.
THEY ARE GOING TO SUE THE
SCHOOL.
YOU CAN'T JUST CUT YOUR HAIR?
THIS IDEA THAT THE GIRLS DON'T
HAVE THE SAME RULES.
IF THEY WANT A RULE FOR THE
TEAM, HAVE A RULE FOR THE
TEAM.
>> THEY DON'T HAVE A RULE FOR
THE FOOTBALL TEAM.
>> IT IS DESTROYING THE
WORLD.
IT IS NOT JUST AMERICA.
>> GO AHEAD AND DEFEND THIS
COURT RULING.
>> LIKE YOU SAID, THE FACT
THAT THIS CASE WENT TO A
FEDERAL APPEALS COURT WAS
PATHETIC.
WHAT THEY ARE SAYING HERE IS
THEY ARE NOT SAYING THE GIRLS
AND GUYS TEAM HAVE TO HAVE THE
SAME STANDARDS, AT THE HAVE TO
HAVE A STANDARD IF THE GUYS
ARE GOING TO.
I DON'T GET THAT.
IT IS NOT GENDER
DISCRIMINATION.
IT IS COACHING PHILOSOPHIES.
IF ONE COACH WHETHER IT IS A
GUY OR GIRL'S COACH WANTS
SHORT HAIR, THAT'S FINE.
IF A GIRL'S COACH DOESN'T WANT
TO OR IF A GUY'S COACH DOESN'T
PRESIDENT WANT TO -- DOESN'T
WANT TO.
>> YOUR SOLUTION WAS THAT TO
SHAVE THE MEN AND WOMEN BALD?
>> I DON'T UNDERSTAND ALL OF
YOUR SOLUTIONS SQUARE UP
PERFECTLY WITH YOUR FETISHES.
AT SOME POINT I HAVE TO STOP
TAKING THEM SERIOUSLY.
>> IT IS A BIZARRE COINCIDENCE.
MY FETISH IS TO HELP PEOPLE
AND MAKE THEIR LIVES BETTER.
THE STRESS RELIEF WHEN YOU ARE
TIED UP.
IT HELPS A LOT OF PEOPLE AND
IT IS A FETISH OF MINE.
WHERE AM I ON THIS?
BY THE WAY, HOW IS THIS
DIFFERENT THAN SAYING YOU
CAN'T WEAR A SHIRT WITH A FLAG
ON IT?
YOU ARE EXPRESSING YOURSELF
WITH YOUR HAIR.
>> IT IS OUR HOME -- WE SHOULD
START HOME SCHOOLING.
>> ARE YOU GOING TO PLAY ON A
SPORTS TEAM AND YOU HAVE TO
WEAR A UNIFORM.
SO YOU WON'T WEAR A SHIRT WITH
A FLAG.
BUT TO ANDY'S POINT, THE MOST
DISAPPOINTING ASPECT IS THE
PARENTS, WHAT DO THEY DO?
THEIR AUTOMATIC REACTION IS WE
ARE GOING TO SUE.
GREAT LESSON TO THE KID.
GITE MILITARY HAS HAIR
REQUIREMENTS.
THEY ARE DIFFERENT FROM MEN
AND WOMEN, BUT THEY HAVE
REQUIREMENTS.
IF THEY HAD NO REQUIREMENTS
FOR THE WOMEN, THAT WOULD
VIOLATE THE EQUAL PROTECTION?
>> I THINK WE CAME TO NO
CONCLUSION.
THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE.
IT I LIKE YOU TO LEAVE MORE
CONFUSED AFTER A SEGMENT THAN
YOU DID ENTERING ONE.
I WANT TO SEE THE INFORMATION
IN YOUR BRAIN HAS ACTUALLY
GONE DOWN.
TIME TO TAKE A BREAK.
MORE STUFF WHEN WE COME BACK.
I HAVE A NEW BOOK COMING UP.
THIS IS CALLED NOT COOL.
I WILL COME TO A CITY NEAR
YOU.
31 CITIES IN 11 DAYS.
NOBODY HAS DONE THAT BEFORE.
GO TO G GUTFELD.COM AND YOU
CAN SEE THE ENTIRE TOUR
SCHEDULE TO FIND OUT WHERE I
AM GOING TO BE AND TALK TO ME
PERMANENTLY. -- PERSONALLY.
SHAKE MY HAND IF YOU WILL.
I WILL WASH IT.
>>> THEY GAVE HIM SLACK FOR
WEARING BLACK AND THAT LEADS
US TO THE LEATEST EDITION OF
--
>> IS THIS RACIST?
>> ALL RIGHT, WELCOME TO THE
IS THIS RACIST DEBATE CENTER.
LEBRON JAMES HAS GIVEN UP THE
BLACK FACE MASK HE WAS WEARING
AT THE LEAGUE'S REQUEST.
KING JAMES AS I HAVE DUBBED
HIM WORE THE MASK DURING A
GAME ON THURSDAY TO PROTECT
HIS BROKEN NOSE, BUT NBA
OFFICIALS DIDN'T LIKE THAT
THEY COULDN'T SEE HIS FACE AND
SAID HE SHOULD SLIP INTO
SOMETHING MORE REVEALING.
LEBRON AGREED AND SHOWED UP
NAKED.
NO, HE WAS WEARING A CLEAR,
LESS COOL COVER.
BOTH OF THEM ARE FRIGHTENING
FOR REASONS THAT HAVE NOTHING
TO DO WITH HIM.
MASKS ARE FRIGHTENING.
IS THE NBA RACIST OR
COLORIST?
>> LEBRON HIMSELF SAID THE
LEAGUE DIDN'T TELL HIM HE HAD
TO CHANGE COLORS.
IT WAS A REQUEST.
HE SAID I AM JUST A PLAYER AND
I WILL DO WHAT THEY ASK ME TO
DO.
THE REASONS WERE THEY CAN'T
SEE HIS FACE OF THE THEY CAN'T
SEE HIM BETTER THAN THEY COULD
IN THE BLACK ONE.
YOU CAN SILL SEE HIS EYES.
HIS CHEEKS ARE COVERED.
WHAT DO THE UH PONE NEBTS NEED
TO -- OPPONENTS NEED TO SEE?
IF YOU LOOK AT THE BLACK
MASK.
HE LOOKS MORE INTIMIDATING.
THAT IS A
PERFORMANCE-ENHANCING DRUG.
IF I WORE THAT I WOULD BE A
MUCH BETTER HOST.
>> I THINK THE REASONING IS
BEHIND IT THAT IT IS
MENACING.
THERE HAVE BEEN OTHER PLAYERS
INCLUDING RECENT TIMES THAT
HAD THE SAME SORT OF MASK.
THE LEAGUE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT IT.
BUT LEBRON IS THE TOP PLAYER
IN THE LEAGUE.
HE IS THE MOST VISIBLE.
COME ON, DON'T ACT LIKE YOU
DON'T FOLLOW SPORTS
CONSTANTLY.
>> HAVE I NO IDEA WHAT THIS --
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS YOUNG
GENTLEMAN DOES.
>> HE IS IN THE SAME FANTASY
FOOTBALL LEAGUE.
WHEN ARE WE PLAYING FOOTBALL?
>> I AM WAITING FOR THE LEAGUE
SHORTY ROBES TO COME IN.
JOE APP, I AM DYING -- JOANNE
I AM DYING TO FIND OUT WHAT
YOU THINK ABOUT THIS?
IS IT RACIST OR SCARY?
>> IT IS AN INTIMIDATION
TACTIC.
I THINK VERY TALL PEOPLE ARE
SCARY.
IF I WERE EVER ON THE TEAM I
WOULD SAY WE HAVE TO CUT HIM
OFF AT THE ANKLES BECAUSE THIS
IS NOT FAIR.
THIS IS NOT SPORTS MAN SHIP.
I LIKE THE BLACK ONE BETTER,
RIGHT?
>> THEY MADE T-SHIRTS
IMMEDIATELY AFTER HE SHOWED
UP.
THEY MADE T-SHIRTS AND
EVERYBODY LOVED IT.
>> I AM JUST WAITING FOR THAT
TO BE TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT.
>> I LIKE THE BLACK ONE
BETTER.
>> I AM TELLING YOU IT IS
AHEAD OF ITS TIME.
IF YOU CAN WEAR SOMETHING LIKE
THAT FOR AN INJURY, IT IS
SCARY.
YOU WOULDN'T KNOW THOUGH
BECAUSE WERE YOU PICKED LAST
FOR YOUR TEAMS IN GYM CLASS.
>> WAS I?
>> I THINK SO.
>> ANDY HAS SIMILAR MASKS FOR
HIS CATS.
VERY INTIMIDATING.
>> SHOULDN'T WE ALL WEAR
MASKS?
>> EXCEPT FOR THAT KID IN THE
MOVIE "MASK" BUT THAT WAS
CALLED" MASK."
CAN YOU ANSWER A QUESTION?
>> THAT WAS NOT REALLY A
QUESTION.
DO WE HAVE THE SIDE BY SIDE?
CAN WE PUT THAT BACK UP?
>> WHILE WE ARE WAITING FOR --
ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT'S
LEBRON JAMES ON THE LEFT?
I DID NOT KNOW THAT.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS SHERROD.
>> YOU ARE A RACIST.
>> I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT
THE LEAGUE IS DOING.
I DO BELIEVE IT IS BETTER TO
BE A BLACK FACE MASK THAN A
BLACK FACE MASK.
>> ALL DEPENDS ON WHERE YOU
PUT THE HYPHEN.
>> HAVE A VIDEO OF YOUR ANIMAL
DOING SOMETHING?
CLICK ON A VIDEO AND WE MAY
USE IT.
A SEXY MUG SHOT.
MY FAVORITE STORY OF THE NIGHT
AND WE DO IT LAST.
THAT'S THE LAST STORY.
>> SHE WENT FROM MOM TO MEAN.
MEGAN SIMMONS WAS INTERNET
FAMOUS AFTER THIS DUI MUG SHOT
WENT VIRAL.
NOW SHE IS GOING AFTER THE
COMPANY THAT INTRODUCED IT.
SHE IS ADORABLE.
SHE WAS THE SUBJECT OF SUDDENS
OF MEANS.
THEY OFFER BACKGROUND CHECKS
OF CRIMINAL RECORDS AND USING
IT FOR FINANCIAL GAIN.
IF I CAN ONLY EXPRESS MY
CONCERN TO YOU SOMEWHERE QUIET
OVER DINNER.
YOU KEPT YOUR MUG SHOT HIDDEN
ALL OF THESE YEARS.
SHE IS FLATTERED BY THIS,
RIGHT?
>> THAT'S THE THING.
SHE IS SUING -- SHE IS SO
OUTRAGED THIS IS OUT THERE,
BUT MEANWHILE, BACK IN APRIL
SHE WAS MILKING THE PUBLICITY
AND TOLD HUFFINGTON POST SHE
WOULD POSE FOR PLAYBOY IF HUGH
HEFNER CALLED HER.
>> HOW MANY KIDS DOES SHE
HAVE?
>> FOUR.
>> THAT'S IDIOTIC.
IF I WAS WORKING AT PLAYBOY I
WOULD HAVE CALLED AND DONE
THAT.
SHE IS ADORABLE.
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS?
THIS IS THE ONLY CURSE OF
BEING ATTRACTIVE.
PEEL WILL WANT YOUR -- PEOPLE
WILL WANT YOUR MUG SHOT.
NO ONE WANTS ANDY'S.
>> HAVE YOU SEEN ANDY'S?
>> YOU COULD DO HER MUG SHOT.
>> I WILL START LAUGHING.
>> SHE LOOKS GREAT.
IN MOST MUG SHOTS YOU SEE
THESE WOMEN OR MEN WHO LOOK
ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE.
I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A
DATING WEBSITE WHERE IT IS ALL
CONVICT MUG SHOTS.
ON THOSE DATING SITES IT IS
THE BEST FOE -- PHOTOS.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE
WAKING UP TO.
>> PUT THE PECK TOUR UP.
PICTURE UP.
IT SPEAKS TO A THEORY OF MIND
THAT SHE IS NOT IMPRESSED AND
UNAWARE OF HOW HOT SHE IS.
IN EVERY SMALL TOWN THERE ARE
BEAUTIFUL WOMEN LIKE THAT,
MIKE, INTRIGUING TO ALL MEN
BECAUSE SHE IS AS HOT AS ANY
ACTRESS ON THE PLANET, BUT
DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THAT.
AND MAYBE SOMEBODY LIKE YOU
COULD WALK INTO TOWN LIKE A
JACK REACHER FROM THE JACK
REACHER NOVELS AND THEN YOU
PAY ALL OF HER LEGAL BILLS AND
GET ON YOUR HARLEY AND YOU GO
OFF INTO THE SUNSET.
>> YOU GET ON YOUR HARLEY.
I THINK SHE KNOWS HOW HOT SHE
IS.
I THINK SHE DOES.
HOT GIRLS ALWAYS KNOW HOW HOT
THEY ARE.
>> REALLY?
>> IT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
>> JOANNE IS GOING NOT ME.
WAIT, BY SAYING NOT ME I
PROVED THE THEORY.
ANDY, YOU ONCE PAID CATALOG
WORK POUR SEARS.
HOW IS THIS CON VEHICLED IT
MODEL DIFFERENT -- CONVICTED
MODEL BE DIFFERENT?
>> IT WOULDN'T BE A DICKEY.
>> I AM GOING TO GO AHEAD AND
SAY I AM GUESSING IN REAL
LIFE, NOT THAT HOT.
>> NO MAKE UP.
>> THAT'S MY GUESS THAT IT
HAPPENS TO BE AN EXTRAORDINARY
PECK TOUR AND SHE IS NOT THAT
HOT.
>> DO YOU THINK SOMEBODY
TOUCHED IT UP?
>> NO.
I COULD BE COMPLETELY WRONG.
>> MAYBE SHE IS COMING FROM A
PARTY WHERE THEY DID HER HAIR
AND MAKE UP.
>> SHE WAS DRIVING FROM A
FASHION SHOOT.
>> YOU DON'T KNOW.
>> I THINK WE HAVE TO STOP
MAKING MUG SHOTS PUBLIC
RECORD.
>> I AGREE WITH YOU.
>> THESE ARE NOT PEOPLE WHO
ARE CONVICTED.
THEY ARE CHARGED WITH
SOMETHING.
>> SHE WAS ULTIMATELY AND SHE
IS ON PROBATION.
>> SHE IS A DELIGHTFUL WOMAN.
YOU ARE RIGHT.
IT IS UNFAIR TO PEOPLE TO HAVE
MUG SHOTS ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY
ARE NORMAL, DECENT PEOPLE.
>> WHAT IF YOU MAKE THE HOT
PEOPLE'S MUG SHOTS PUBLIC
RECORD?
>> I LIKE THAT.
>> BY THE WAY, HOT PEOPLE TEND
TO GET EVERYTHING EASY AND
FREE IN LIFE.
JUST NAIL THEM ON THE MUG
SHOT.
>> USUALLY BECAUSE THEY ARE
TALL.
WE HAVE COME BACK AROUND.
>> ANDY LEVY, PAB, MIKE
BAKER.