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I used to love her
but I had to kill her
I used to love her
but I had to kill her
I had to put her
6 feet under
and I can still hear her complain!
My name is Ryoko Akagi...
and I'm here because there's someone I need to find.
This is him... we were seeing eachother.
OH MY GOD! THAT'S SHINICHI!!!
Yeah.
Th-this must be some mistake...
To-to think that'd he'd be interested in... in...
MISTAKE!? How could I mistake such a wonderful lover?
"Lover?"
Shinichi: Oh my...
Ryoko: The way he would kiss me deeply just before he and I... I...
Shinichi: Oh boy another fangirl... though I wonder.
Maybe we could find Shinichi at Ryoko's house.
That's a great idea!
I don't see why he'd be there now but... I don't see why NOT!
On second thought, maybe I should pass...
[vicious growl]
J-just kidding!
Narrator: Later... at Ryoko's house!
Please, come on in,
Shinichi: Woah! What happened here?
Odd... no women's shoes.
[mispronouncing] So Agaki
How long have you and Shinichi been together?
Hello?
HEY YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A SAILOR JUPITER COSPLAYER
I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!
Oh I'm sorry... what did you say?
Grr....
Did I just walk into Junpei Iori's room?
What's this?
TV Announcer: And the game continues to be as dissapointing as the Voice Acting Alliance
But what else do you expect with those f[beep]ing Vuvuzuela's blaring?
Ran: [thinking] Turn on the TV while I'M talking, eh?
Maybe if I cut open her STOMACH she'll pay attention.
Oh, are those the soccer finals?
[forcing] And Ryoko just couldn't resist watching [cheezy laughter]
I WILL BURY HER ALIVE IN THE SAHARA DESERT AND *** ON HER GRAVE!!!
TV Announcer: And Hideo misses yet ANOTHER shot!
But that's no surprise. Who could focus with all those *** and their sh[beep]y plastic bugals.
Shinichi: Isn't that the guy from the photo?
Wait a minute... messy room, the messed up lock.
I see what's going on here.
Ziz is my latest invention. Ze "Boxed Lunch Fax Machine."
Dumbest... invention... ever.
Shinichi is that you?
Mamoru was kidnapped, wasn't he?
[Mispronouncing] Ryoko Agaki isn't your real name either, is it?
Listen... don't worry.
I'll solve this case for you.
Thank you.
And it's amazing you knew it was a kidnapping without me telling about you anything.
You must be a GREAT detective!
Actually I'm just sneaking around your house right now. Nothing special!
Anyway, I want you to write down all the details you know about the kidnapping
and fax them to me.
Fax? What is this 1985?
Ah, whatever.
[echos] ***-NI-CHI!!!
What the...
Why am I hearing my voice from the other phone?
Alright here comes the fax.
I... guess this is the ransom note.
Bring Mamoru back to life.
...what?
TV Announcer: And once again Hideo is attempting a goal.
I bet 5000 yen it's gonna miss by at least 30 feet.
He shoots...
and oh my God he SCORES!
Amazing, who whould thought ANYONE could score with
that eardrum shattering garbage playing in the stands tonight!
Shinichi: Alright, I think it's time to end this episode.
Maybe I could find a clue in...
Conan: "The Not So Final Fantasy?"
I see, so Mamoru's Character is dead but Naoki is still alive.
Wait... those two marks...
Could they be the "Ki" in "Naoki?"
So that means....
Shinichi: OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!
Ryoko... I know where Mamoru is.
Oh! That's great news!
First off, do you know a guy by the name of Naoki?
Well yeah, he lives close by.
Go there, now
But
NOW!!
'kay.
Shinichi.... I've finally found you.
Um... no you haven't?
[building] I guess we'll see about that you two-timing piece of-
Excuse me!
Ran: WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU LITTLE ***!?!
Ryoko: Shinichi has something to say to you over the phone.
Ran: Oh for cryin' out loud.
Okay... what is it?
["Russian Rick-Roll" plays]
Alright where is he?
He knocked me down and ran to Naoki's place!
Alright you matress-hopping-***-frog! SHOW ME WHERE HE LIVES!!!
Naoki: Like... who is it?
It's Ryoko! Open up!
'sup dudes?
Come on... let us in!
But like... I'm babysitting and stuff.
KIYAAAAAA!!!
Ran: SHINICHI GET YOUR *** OUT HERE NOW!!! Naoki: Like.... owwwwww.
Oh there you are!
How dare you get kidnapped!
What're you talking about?
Ryoko: Hideo, we found your brother and caught the kidnapper.
It was Naoki.
What're you talking about? I asked Naoki to BABYSIT Mamoru
Ryoko: Really?
Of course, why would Naoki kidnap his best friend?
Ryoko: Well, I... I-
Naoki: I pray to God you never reproduce.
[Teamate with New Jersy Accent] Hey Hideo, a sniper came and took out all the vuvuzuela players!
AWESOME!
GOAL!!!
Ryoko: Say Naoki... What happened to your leg?
Surfing accident?
Nah, my girlfriend and I were having sex.
Ryoko: Um, but what does that have to do with
She likes it rough.
Ryoko: ...eww.
So Hideo... who would you like to contribute this great victory to?
Well, I'd like to thank my brother Mamoru and my friend Naoki.
But most importantly...
I'd like to thank the sniper who took out those guys with the vuvuzuelas!
Alright buddy... where... is... SHINICHI!!!
Who?
Maybe we should give him a call?
Shinichi: Oh crap, I never turned my phone off!
Oh, and by the way... Shinichi and I have never actually met.
[nervous chuckle]
Sure...
[Lupin III ringone plays]
Ran: That's Shinichi's ringtone!
I know you're there, Shinichi!
Not for long... bye!
Aww...
Oh hi Ran!
I just so happened to have parked my car down this random ally!
Grr...
Captions by martialmichael126
Narrator: NEXT CONAN'S USELESS HINT!
Conan: MOOGLES!