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Have you ever talked on the telephone while watching TV,
folding clothes, or surfing the Internet?
Have you ever felt that the person you were talking to was
nodding and saying "uh-huh" in appropriate places but
not really listening to you?
The message conveyed in these examples is that
the listener has higher priorities than giving
full attention to the speaker.
That message can make the speaker feel unimportant,
frustrated, and hurt.
Mom, Mom I really have to tell you something.
So like, Justin is gonna break up with Kelly
so he can go out with Jenny.
The problem is I'm friends with both of them-well
actually more so Jenny than Kelly,
but whatever-that's not the point.
Jenny doesn't know that Justin is gonna break up with Kelly,
but the rest of us do.
We really wanna tell Jenny, but we don't want
Kelly to think that she's not our friend anymore.
Now I'm gonna be stuck in the middle between my two friends,
and it's all over some stupid boy.
What do I do?
Hello!?!?
Mom.
Were you even listening to a word I was just saying?
I'm sorry honey, what did you say?
I can't believe I just told you, like,
the most important story and you weren't even listening.
You're right.
Hold on a second.
Do you mind starting over?
Fine.
Justin is breaking up with Kelly so he can go out with Jenny.
Jenny doesn't know it yet but the rest of us do.
Uh oh.
Right, 'cause I'm friends with both of them!
We really want to tell Jenny, but we don't want
Kelly to stop being our friend.
That's hard.
Now I'm stuck in the middle between both my friends,
over some dumb guy.
What am I gonna do?
Wow.
This is like that plot in that TV series
you were telling me about yesterday.
Yeah, just like that!
Only worse, 'cuz they're my friends.
Are you feeling a little mad that Justin is going
to break up with Kelly, or a little bit that
Jenny wants to go out with him?
Oh, I don't know.
I suppose he could break up with her,
but then that puts me in the middle.
What do you think you can do to help Kelly feel included?