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I am legally blind which means
just get the *** out of my way.
[laughter]
My friends want me to try online dating but I just have a thing against it for all the obvious reason.
To me, that’s…
It’s dangerous. I hate computers. I hate men.
[laughter]
So,
are you a guy?
[laughter]
Yes?
Travis.
Hey, Travis. Okay.
Hi.
[laughter]
Would you mind if I felt your face?
[laughter]
I’ll take that under advisement,
and you might be wondering what a blind person does for a living,
and if you think of something, let me know.
[laughter]
Actually, I’m a massage therapist and I love my job.
And I work at a spa and I still have one question,
why do silicon-breasted, botox-injected, fake sun-tanned, bleach blonde ***
only want natural products put on their bodies?
[laughter and applause]