Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
When I have a panic attack, it's like you
go into tunnel vision.
It seems like everything around you gets black, and it
just kind of goes in.
Then you're-- for no reason, like nothing caused it.
Well, in my cases, it would get caused maybe by large
crowds if I'm dealing with them, like at work, and maybe
the crowd is kind of rowdy, but not really.
But they're depending on me for whatever reason.
I can't breathe.
I have trouble breathing.
I feel like I want to burst into tears.
I just want to run away and just go cry.
You know what I mean?
I'm shaking.
And nothing around me makes sense.
It's just terrible.
And then I feel inadequate.
I did all of this stuff before, like I've considered
myself to be a strong person.
But here I am.
I can't even handle a crowd of people.
Between the physical--
I'm going through all of this, I can't breathe, rapid pulse,
the world caving in-- emotionally I feel like crap.
You know what I mean?
Like why am I doing this?
You know what I mean?
And I can't explain it to anybody.
It's something where if my back was injured,
you could see that.
If I can't walk, I'm limping, you'd see that.
But it's hard to describe a mental issue because it's
something that you can't physically measure
or you can't see.
So I ended up going to the VA.
And that's when I realized this is something that is
because of this.
I mean, I was already going.
But I didn't see the importance.
I didn't know it was as deep as it was.
And that's when I started to realize, well, all of this
makes sense.
You know what I mean?
Because I just thought that--
I don't know--
I guess you don't want to admit that there's something
wrong with you.
So that's when I realized it.
And since then, I take it serious.
And I just try to get better.
I really just try to, when that happens or before it
happens, really just talk to someone.