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Mr and Mrs Blöhmann?
Please have a seat.
My institute aims to support couples through a difficult time
and to repair physical or mental problem areas.
We do not perform miracles.
Where do your main issues lie?
How should we know?
We thought that you might… After all, we came from out of town.
And your favourite colour?
White. Schaumol white. It's even whiter than white.
And Mr Blöhmann, what's yours?
Grey. But not completely grey.
More green-grey...and brownish.
A sort of brownish grey with green.
A brown-grey-green.
Brown-grey-green.
A dash of blue wouldn't go amiss.
-But it's mainly grey. -Thank you.
-Brownish grey. -Thank you, Mr Blöhmann.
It could also have some hints of red.
-That'll do, Mr Blöhmann. -A brownish red, but grey on the whole.
So a greeny-bluish brown-red-grey.
It needn't be so precise, Mr Blöhmann.
Yes, it does! You'll go look up 'grey' in some table and find:
-Mr Blöhmann beats his wife or such like. -Mr Blöhmann, I assure you…
I know these psychological tricks.
I need only say a colour, then I'm divorced as the guilty party.
But have you noticed my wife
clipping her handbag open and closed and looking inside?
Yes? What? Why? No. Of course, not.
-If I may... -Mr Blöhmann.
Your wife may clip her bag open and closed and look inside as often as she likes.
-You see. -But not 8 times every 6 minutes.
She's clipped and looked 350,000 times this year alone!
Perhaps you also like to open and close things from time to time.
Yes. But I don't look inside every single time, do I?
-May I proceed with the examination? -Yes, please.
I will...Mrs Blöhmann,
could you please leave your bag alone, just this once?
I will show you a picture and you are going to tell me what it illustrates.
Mr Blöhmann first, please.
What does this picture say to you? In a few words.
-Horsemen. Two horsemen. And horses. -Nothing else?
No. Oh, yes. Two ladies.
Are they also horse-riding?
No.
Your overall impression?
Two men giving two ladies a riding lesson.
Mrs Blöhmann, do you have another idea?
Yes. It's like a holiday... with riding and things.
-The men are helping the ladies. -Do you help your wife regularly?
-We don't ride. -We own a budgie. I might even have a photo.
Mrs Blöhmann, your handbag stays closed!
-Why are you talking to my wife like that? -Your budgie is irrelevant.
-He gives me a kiss every morning. -Do you kiss your wife regularly?
-Not so much. -Why not?
-It's never of timely convenience. -And you, Mrs Blöhmann?
Goodness, I have my housework to think of.
Mr Blöhmann, may I ask you to kiss your wife?
What's going on?
The kiss as an expression of the marital bond
is vital to remedy a chronic weak point.
Please, kiss your wife.
-Where? -Wherever you like.
Then, we must reenact the very basics of the kiss.
With the partner model at a distance of 8-12 cm, say, 'Hello, dear.'
Then touch the mouth part with your lips.
Hello...dear.
Several times, please.
Mrs Blöhmann, surprise your husband now and then with a pretty blouse,
a different lipstick or a new haircut. That's enough, Mr Blöhmann.
-Mrs Blöhmann, please. -On the mouth?
You stay quite passive. You let yourself be kissed.
-How much does such a thing cost? -It's not generally available.
-Or necessary? -No.
So, that'll do for today.
Keep practicing the soft kiss with the positions at home.
Against each other, with each other. Three times a day.
-Before or after meals? -Come on!