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You know when you experience something, and then you look back at that time and you can
hardly believe that, that actually happened? Well that's kinda how I feel about depression.
I was looking at some of the old video diaries I made, and I thought "Wow! Look at this guy".
I honestly cannot believe that that guy is me. And so, I've decided to post some of them,
because I feel like such a different person now. I can't believe that's how out of it
I was. But that's it, right? You don't know, because you're in it. I always felt like a
pretty cruisy guy. Nothing ever really hassled me, but my depression took over nearly everything
in my life for a while there. Pretty much stopped me doing all the things I like doing.
So, this is my story.
About a year ago my doctor referred me to a psychologist for depression. And at the
time it felt like a life sentence. But looking back now I know it's probably the only thing
that got me through. God knows where I'd be now otherwise. And people would always ask,
"When did you first start to feel depressed?" Which was an impossible question to answer,
because it wasn't like any one thing made it happen. I just slowly got dragged down
by the stuff that was going on. And once I was down, I didn't think it could be any different.
I just thought that's the way things are. And a couple times I got really close to doing
something really stupid. I just stopped being careful almost, like I just didn't give a
*** about what happened to me anymore. Anyway, after way too long I finally let my sister,
who'd been trying to help me for ages, get me some help. And it was totally different
to what I thought it was gonna be and it really did help. And look, sure, I was pretty resistant
and against it at first, but, yeah I think I knew deep down that it was the right thing
to do.
So what I'm posting here are some of the video diaries I made. Lots of people make some sort
of diary as part of their therapy, so I decided to do a video one. So, here's me.