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James! Man!
What man?
I've just had the best idea man.
Come on tell me man, I love ideas
You know? I really miss Peter
you know I am sad too
I know, I am very sad
and I know you are too
he was awsome, always sharing his weed and everything
God, he was fun to be arround that great old man
I know that's what I'm saying, I know you are sad
but ist's been two weeks
and we keep on living without him, working
well there is nobody to take care of this place
not even his son
that's what i was saying
he totally left us this place, the funeral house
I see! He totally left us this place, with all the weed
i gave him and everything
all the good times
Yeah my thoughts exactly
we just have to figure it all out with the lawyers and the papere is his office
and everything, and then we can do what ever we want
with this place
I think we turn this into a sweet moneymaker
I see...
yeah I'm thinking that this place is *** sad
everybody's crying and *** I cant take it
when people die they should be mourned in a cool fun place
that makes them happy and cheers them up
like this man for instance, he didn't want to go out like this
he looks like wanted a party
look at his watch, this is a classy watch, the watch of a party beast
that's what I'm saying
we could turn this place into a like post death relaxing fun club
you know? put a jacuzzi in this place
food!
a bar a weedsmoking area
and of course...
a disco ball!
but, man, you think Peter Jr, his son, will he be a problem?
what if he left him the place
his son? I don't know man, haven't thought about that
nah, that guy is a *** man, he didn't even come to his father's funeral
yeah, no worries, he totally left us the place, the old man loved us
yeah man, the world is ours, just imagine
we'll own this place, get some money in the bank, mad ***,
we could even move out of your mothers' basement
yeah man, we've been there for too much, this is special times
for celebration, you get the special blow
really?
man, we are rich now
very good
nice
***
hey you guys having a good time?
hey Peter, we're just getting high here, nothing to do
you want some?
I'm just surprised you are still here.
Man take a chill pill.
listen, listen, I want you both out of here by tomorrow noon, ok that's it.
Dude, you can't do that, your old man left us this place
Yeah, we are the boss now, we are gonna make this bussiness a bussiness
Ok, we all know my father was a good man, but he neglected his family
and he paid for it with a sudden death, and I don't know what kind of sick arrangement
you had with him before he overdose, but if you want to get paid your last paycheck
you have to take this body to the crematorium and deliver it by tomorrow noon
after that I don't want to ever see you again
man, we worked here for a long time
and we were good friends with your father, I'm pretty sure he left us this place
well, as it turns out, I have all the paperwork here, will, ownership, everything
so you are basically screwd
but this place is all we know!
you can't do that to people, man, it's mean
we live in his mother's basement, and she's serbian
you know what that means? She is allowed to have ethnic hate
She, *** broke a guys nose on a K-mart last week
and if we don't pay for the house, she'll probably kick us put
we'll end up living under a bridge with Jefita or something
listen listen, I don't know and I don't care, OK
all I know is that you two guys are a couple of junkies, good for nothing idiots
that take up space and money
well yeah? you are a stupid ***, and besides who's make do our job?
well I am
You couldn't even if you tired you ***. You don't now the smell
the fluids, the gooey stuff that leaks out of an old man's ***
draining the blood of a three year old, the *** coming out
of the ears of the brain of a car crash victim. You think you got the stomach for the job?
You haven't even begin to understand it.
Have you ever let the fumes of a dead corpse hit your nose holes?
dude i love that smell
yeah me too man
Ok, ok, that's enough
now, if you want your final paycheck
heck I'll even put in a letter of recomendation, If it will get you ot of here
now take this body to the crematorium and deliver it by tomorrow noon
OK?
come on man?
consider it you goodbye gifts, ok
please?
I'm sorry, now if you'll excuse me I have work to do
can't belive the old man's gone
what a tragedy, he was a very young old man
so sudden
I guess once you reach a certain age...
yes Simon, I guess there's a point in every mans' life that you have to stop going on *** binges
life is such a sad thing
oh kids, you must never forget to ride the drugs and not the other way orround
life is the only thing we know for sure, and it can slip away in an instant
That is so true, if he only would have known, how come you are such a clever man SImon?
well, I have been everywhere boys
and there ain't nothing like the road for a teacher
you are right Simon, it's comforting to know there are still some wise beings in this *** up universe
can you believe the old man left the funeral house to his son?
and we are being fired, after all we've done for that place
Oh no! that's such bad news, what are you gonna do?
well we don't know yet, but I'm sure we'll think of somthing
I'm sure you will Paul, James, I'm sure you will. Ooops, let me check on that burner
I'm bored man
yeah, *** old people are slow burners
I hate dead people
let`s go shoplift some food man I'm *** hungry
all right man! hells yeah I could eat a baby right now.
Hey Simon! you want anything from the store?
Some beans would be nice!
all right man.
what are we gonna do man? That son of a *** is gonna lay us off
I wish there was something we could do, to get our jobs back
well the only thing I can think of is some way of blackmailing him
In Georgia everybody has got a gun, a rifle, but my mom always told me that blackmailing is the best weapon
we should blackmail him, man
is not that easy Paul, blackmailing is a very delicate art
like growing the bonsai trees
and we don't have any dirt we can use against him
whatever man
grab some of those mexican beans man, Simon wanted some and they're killers
yeah man! *** it's like you're juggling with the planets man
juggling with the moon!
can I get a pack of gum please?
which one?
thank you
get away you hippie garbage!
spread the love yo!
yo, be nice man.
Simon?! Simon?!
well here is your dead guy
thank you
all right Simon, hope to keep seeing you man
about that new boss of yours, *** that guy,
he'll be begging you to go back to work in a couple of days
don't be so sure Simon, he really hates our guts
yeah man, maybe it's time we turned our lives arround.
I just hope I'll see you guys again
no worries Simon, no worries, you are the man
You are the man Simon, see you when I see you man
cursed ones, darkness
aww you freak
*** off
darkness!!!
cray mayan woman, you shoot dust out of your ***!
leave us alone!
darkness
I don't have time for this!
Hey esos, how you doin'?
hey Jefita, what's good?
You got my money, dogs?
Jefita, we lost our job this morning, don't be mean Jefita
yeah Jefita, give us a chance, we'll get it I promise, we just need some time
I like you guys
how much money you got with you?
I got some coins
aahhh... is like twenty bucks, it's all we've got.
All right, all right, I let you loose this time, I like you guys.
I let you try this new stuff, if you give me some of those cans you got there
are those beans?
really Jefita? You can have all the beans.
what is that stuff?
It's sick ***,
it's a combination of crack, ***, ***, and weed diluted in some holy hindu cow ***
Oh, Jefita you are so kind, we'll get your money, we promise
I'll expect so. I'll have Jesus here *** your *** if you don't
calm down Jefita we'll get your money
now lets see what you got here...
Oh yeah, try it. You are gonna be *** crazy guys!
all right! give me, give me...
*** man. What happened last night?
I don't know man, I can't remember *** either.
All I can remember is smoking with jefita and entering this crazy bar
full of mariachi style mexicans, with the big hats, everything goes black after that, I...
yeah, yeah, I remember, it's coming back, the mexican bar the big hats
I think somebody *** a donkey last night.
I think we went to Tijuana...
Dude! we are not even close, and besides...
Man where`s the urn?
what?!
***!
*** man!
we got fired and we aren't even getting payed this sucks
Is there any tequila left?
no
drugs?
no
***! I hate that son of a ***, *** smart *** he's probably gay
totally gay, and a ***.
Dude!
what, what?
we could totally blackmail him, he's got a wife you know?
maybe if you come on to him, try to seduce him you know what I'm saying
maybe we caught him on tape and then we can *** threaten to tell his wife
first of, why me. And secondly what if he's not gay,
am I just supposed to sit back and try to grope a disgusting idiot?
well you are definitely the handsome one, and think it over
he's gay, I'm telling you I know, I think I saw him yesterday staring at your ***
Are you sure?
I don't know man, I always thought of you as the handsome one, you are taller
and you have mustache.
look, come here
look man...
just look at that pretty face man
it's angelic, serious archetypical beauty staring right at you
I guess you are right, I guess I never noticed how beautiful I am
thank you man, this is why I love you
totally man, we can pull this off.
now come on, saddle up and prepare to rock this ***'s life
I don't know man...
maybe its time to consider another career, we are still kind of young
and pretending to want to *** some dude is not what I had in mind for this part of my life
what!?
you know we can make the funeral house the best *** relaxing club
we can be rich, this life is all I need
think about it, we don`t need anything we are kings
but if we get fired, what are supposed to do?
and your mom is serbian man, is she still stealing your ***?
all the time...
*** man, I'll *** any guy to get out of this basement
well all right, I'll do it, but only because I belive in our dream
and I expect some kind of compensation
I'll get the necessary weed
And prostitutes
man, if we pull this off, eventually we'll have swedish models
flying all over us like flies on ***
all right I want to be ***, lets do this
all right lets *** do this.
All right man
here you go, you just press this little red button and it`s game time
is this a tape recorder, man?
what the hell, I thought you were gonna get some nice high definition camera and ***
this sucks man, what am I supposed to do with this.
Man, this *** was expensive! I had to sell the rest of my weed
and the dead guys watch, man you should...
the party watch?
yeah man...
man that is like the nicest thing someone has ever done for me
I know man
thank you very much
it's ok, you didn't know
but I'm not sure dude, I'm pretty nervous
what if this guy turns out to be legit, like his identity and ***
why not dude... this is totally gonna backfire man,
I don't think I want to do this now that I think about it
James man, relax...
I really want my mom!
what? Your mom man? What are you talking about man, your mom is a sick ***.
here drink this
Oh yeah, give me that
thanks man, you are always looking out for me
yeah dude no problem
but don't ever talk about my mother like that.
Dude, she steals your ***
well you are right man, how come you are always right man
I better go now
James... good luck man
What up, ese?!
you still alive eh?
You totally lost it last night.
Jefita, thank God you have the urn, we thought we had lost it forever
Not so fast sonny, it's mine now, or at least until you pay what you owe me
Jesus! rough this *** up a bit.
what!? what!?
Jefita! relax... we are gonna pay you, in fact James is working on it right now, ok
he is in there being a hero, so show some respect and wait a minute
hey, you guys did a good job?
where's the urn?
Paul has the urn, but that is not what I'm here for
I think, really think, there is no need to fight man.
You are drug addicts, I don't want useless drug addicts working here
this is a serious sad place...
I know you have been having trouble with how Paul and me work
but I want to tell you that I'm not always like that
It it Paul who is a mess, I don't see why I should get fired
when Paul, when he is the one causing problems.
Paul?! what do you mean Paul is the one causing problems
I just walked in on both of you, snorting *** off a coffin, with a dead person inside it
yes but it was his idea!
So what? So if he tells you to go *** a man would you do it?
no... well no man, no, why!
well you're apparently always behind his shananigans
you don't get it man, he so *** manipulative, he knows how to press my buttons
well James, if you are willing to change I can help you get your path straight
really Peter? That is so nice of you
You know what James, you are my favorite, but I just can't run this business like this
so, if you in not only is Paul out of the question
but you and me, we are gonna have to be very very close
I like your eyes Peter
Oh, you are a bad man James, corrupt me...
I want to put my *** in your *** Peter
oh, James you make me so happy
Uff, you have strong arms...
What else do you like about me
I Like this elbows, and this tummy, and this little belly button...
What's happening man, whay the stupid man hasn't come eh!?
easy Jefita, I'm sure James is doing all right, ok
this thing we're doing, is got to be dealt with delicacy
the strategics of a powerful mind and the tactics of a lion
don't you worry, James is gonna do just fine in there
jesus man, what happened, are you ok? are we good?
oh we good brother, we *** better and awesome my good man
all right man, excuse us for a second
what's wrong with your hair man?
ah... whatever dude
you got the tape?
oh yeah I got the tape, and he doesn't want anybody to listen to this
nice dude, we got him by the balls now
should we try to get some money from him also?
I told him, not to worry man, we won't cause any problems
all we want to do is work here and that our voice be heard in every company meeting
all right man, money dog, that's great, but we still have Jefita on our backs
we can ask for money just this one time
Ok, go ahead man
so, Jefita how much was it we owed you?
300 dollars ***!
cough it up you dirty boy
excelent! so, what about heading inside, smoking a joint and figuring this whole thing out
shall we boss?
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