Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
{\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252\cocoartf1038\cocoasubrtf320 {\fonttbl\f0\froman\fcharset0 Times-Roman;}
{\colortbl;\red255\green255\blue255;} \margl1440\margr1440\vieww9000\viewh8400\viewkind0
\deftab720 \pard\pardeftab720\sa240\ql\qnatural
\f0\fs24 \cf0 I'm Andrew Start and I'm from Spokane, Washington.\'a0I got a phone call
at home one day and she was crying and very upset. She said, "I went to the hospital today
and I'm pregnant." And I just tried to recall how that could happen because we'd always
been safe. Except for once. And the agreement had been, because of our age difference, you
know at this point I think I was 16 and she was 20, that if something came up, she would
have an abortion. Both of us thought that was the right choice. And I think her being
a little older and out of high school, she decided she wanted to keep the baby. At that
point she just sort of gave me the choice since I was ready to go to college in a year
and she said, "You can choose to be a part of this child's life or you can choose to
not be. And this child doesn't even have to know who you are." And so I just sort of weighed...I
guess weighed the issue as best as I could. I was 16 years old, ready to come out of the
closet. I said obviously we're not going to get together, we're not going to get married
and try to make this work. I know we can have a relationship but I don't think it will last
forever, and I don't want to be in the middle of a divorce in 3 years at the age of 18 with
a 3-year-old kid. But I do want to be part of her life as much as I can. Well, I didn't
know it was going to be a "she" at that point. So I told my father that she was pregnant.
And he said, "Oh my God! What?! I thought you were gay!" And I said, well, you know,
I think I am. And he said, "God damnit, Andy. What are we gonna do, blah blah blah." And
my mother obviously freaked out but they both came around and throughout the pregnancy showed
their support. And when Chandler was born, she was just born into a really strange, sort
of non-nuclear but supportive environment. And the rest is sort of history actually.
I went off to college, I never said I was going to stay around but all through college,
whenever I had a chance to come home I did. And it was hard when she was young, because
when they're really young and you're not around a lot, it's hard to create a connection. But
as she gets older, every year our connection gets stronger and stronger even though I'm
still not there. My daughter is about to enter high school in another year which is crazy.
And I still haven't gotten that phone call, like, "I hate you, you ruined my life, blah
blah blah" and I keep expecting it and every time I see her, we Skype, that's our way of
talking which is great that I can actually see her. It's just like picking up where we
left off, just like you would with a best friend. I mean, obviously I probably won't
get the opportunity to actually physically create a child with someone, but having her
in my life certainly makes me consider adopting. I mean, if I'm in the right relationship I
think I definitely want to have more children, which I don't think that I necessarily would
be inclined to say that without her.}