Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
Glued to the couch every Saturday night
I love to watch cops and drunk men fight
I live to see police catch a killer on ***
And hear how he strangled his dealer to death
My goal in life is to nab a killer
Publicly expose him and end his thriller
If I could stop some punk's criminal schemes
Then we could finally meet the man of our dreams
Vincent D'Onofrio, you make my heart race!
I'd do anything to help you solve a major case
We'd roam the streets stopping criminals in their tracks
At night we'd sit, drink red wine, and relax
I'd earn my criminal degree from Phoenix University
Then Vincent and I would get down to some stuff that's really gritty
We'd sort through evidence in a motel, just the two of us alone
Then Vincent would find a buzz saw used to cut a ***'s jawbone
Maybe there's a girl that's been beaten with a crowbar
Then *** with it and left for dead in her car
Vincent would straddle over her like I wish that he was straddling me
Then he'd smell her hair and declare, "She died at half past three."
Vincent D'Onofrio, you make my heart race!
I'd do anything to help you solve a major case
We'd roam the streets stopping criminals in their tracks
At night we'd sit, drink red wine, and relax
Sometimes, when Vincent is interrogating people, he gets right up in their faces.
Oh my god! And he'll force them to look him dead in the eyes!
Ooh, I love when he yells because you can see his perfect teeth
and I don't really think their his real teeth
because in Full Metal Jacket and then that other movie with Cameron Diaz and Keanu Reeves where he's wearing the blue tuxedo,
he doesn't have those teeth.
Oh my god, and those pearly whites mixed with that flawless designer stubble!
And, holy ***, those sideburns!
Holy ***, those sideburns!
Holy ***, those sideburns!
Vincent D'Onofrio, you make my heart race!
I'd do anything to help you solve a major case.
We'd roam the streets stopping criminals in their tracks. Stop!
At night we'd sit, drink red wine, and relax.
Vincent D'Onofrio, you make my heart race!
Vincent D'Onofrio...
[Applause and laughter]