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Hi my name is Reka Morvay, I'm a psychologist and I'm going to talk to you today about how
to deal with ex-boyfriends. Now I don't think that there's any piece of stock advice for
how to deal with ex-boyfriends, it all depends on you and your boyfriend and the way in which
the relationship ended. Obviously if it ended amicably if you both felt good about the decision
to leave the relationship even though it was difficult at the time, that there's absolutely
no reason why you can't keep in touch and continue a friendship and reap the benefits
of a long relationship where you got to know and you got to be intimate with another person.
So it is possible to continue and keep having a positive relationship with an ex-boyfriend.
Now if your break up was very ugly or for, it was for abusive reasons or because you
just couldn't stand each other anymore, then obviously the best way to deal with an ex-boyfriend
is to just not deal with them and try to lead separate lives from that moment on. If you
find that your ex-boyfriend is somebody who forcibly wants to keep coming back into your
life, it is very, very important to draw your boundaries and communicate them clearly, tell
this person what is acceptable for you and what isn't acceptable for you. And if necessary
then involve your friends and your family in helping you enforce these boundaries. If
you find yourself in a situation where you have to keep seeing the ex-boyfriend even
after you broke up, try to remain calm, try to remain impartial, and polite. For example
if you share a group of friends or maybe you work together, you will find that it's impossible
to completely separate yourself after the break up. Even if you don't get along very
well it is possible to keep on polite terms. And maybe you can even discuss it with this
person and let them know that you expect certain kind of behavior, you expect some level of
civility and some level of politeness. And you can then continue to exist in the same
social situation without, without it being too painful for either of you or without it
being too disruptive to the group where you either have to work or your group of friends.