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(opening theme, 2nd 60s version)
(Tardis sounds)
So doctor, when are we?
2015. No,
16
Trump. Bad
Anyway, that's not why we're here
Then why are we here
The Tardis of Rassilon
Rassilon? Like, the guy who founded the Time Lords?
That's correct, his tardis was a repository of time and space coordinates,
Extremely powerful, extremely dangerous in the wrong hands.
(suspicious music)
Welcome Doctor!
The trap is set,
And soon, the Tardis of Rassilon,
Will finally belong to me, The Master!
mua ha ha ha ha!
(chill music)
(Alarm ringing)
(scream)
(Alarm sounds, alien spacecraft sounds)
My greatest enemy
The Daleks
Perfect killing machines
Yeah, the daleks
Children of Davros
Yeah, we get it, it's the daleks
The Daleks
(sci-fi whiney noise)
What in the world is that?
Forcefield.
(sonic noise)
The daleks have trapped the humans in here with us
must need them to pilot the tardis of Rassilon
Hm, a Dalek attack? A perfect chance for a...
Future doctor... to be around
(machine clicks)
(machine noises)
(alarms in the background)
Doctor! It's me, your future self!
Right.
Does this happen to you often?
More than you'd think
Huh. Hello Doctor!
Hey! Um, nice to see you again?....
Jane?
That's the one! Jane.
Yep! You, us, K-9 Back at the Tardis
We're looking for the Tardis of Rassilon
Yes, I've been tracking it too, it's leaking huge amounts of artron energy
The exterior must have grown enormous by now
(dalek weapon noises)
RUN!!
EXTERMINATE!
(frustrated mumbling)
(sonic screwdriver rattling)
(frustrated mumbling)
(sonic screwdriver rattling)
(frustrated mumbling)
You're both idiots
(sonic screwdriver noises)
EXTERMINATE!
(Lock clicks)
Well, this is not what I expected!
Wow.
(quizzical old who background music)
Must have been an old, university division of U.N.I.T
Look at all this stuff
It's impresive
Not much use against one hundred daleks
But if we used these to take out one dalek
Used the parts to create a device that feeds of the artron energy from the tardis of Rassilon
Then we could set up a sympathetic resonance which could destroy all the daleks on campus!
(gun noises)
Let's go get that dalek
(toilet flushing)
(dalek gun sound)
(action music plays)
(ray gun sounds)
(BOOM!)
(door sounds)
(sonic screwdriver noises)
(sounds of stuff being moved about and made)
(*** clicking)
(faint hum)
(sci-fi beep) That should keep the daleks out for a little while.
(sonic screwdriver noises)
I'm not detecting any artron energy in this component
Something's not working!
Have you tried reversing the polarity?
(Battery hisses)
(ding)
(machine humming)
Much better.
(sonic screwdriver noises)
(dalek gun noises)
The daleks are getting though. We have to start the machine now.
We haven't finished formating the safety interlocks for humans.
There's no time for that
But Doctor, there's humans on campus. There's students, and lecturers,
and gardeners and librarians and whatever poor professor you stole that off.
Doctor. They could die.
If we don't start it soon, we will die.
Doctor, back me up here.
(Machine noises)
(music swells)
(Dalek screams)
(Lots of dalek screams)
(Daleks continue to scream)
Heh
(Evil laugh) heh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ahhh
what are you doing
Oh Doctor. What an amazing help you've been.
(laser screwdriver noises)
(energy swirling)
You've finally fallen to you greatest foe.
The Master
(Evil laugh) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
(dramatic regeneration sounds)
What is thi- but if you're not The Doctor
Where is he?
("I am the doctor" plays)
(effort noises)
(sonic screwdriver noises)
You fool!
You've
Ruined
Everything!
NOOOO!
(cyberman gun noises)
(muttered) Doctor
(muttered) Tardis of Rassilon
(muttered) Time distortion
(muttered) Impersonation
So, then I had to let The Master go.
It was the only way to fix the time paradox.
I still can't believe that he pretended to be me, twice.
And he used Venusian karate against me, that was not fair.
He must have spent way too long with the third incarnation of me
They do say imitation is the sincerest form of flatery,
True
I'm still a little puzzled that we never found the tardis of Rassilon
Not to worry. I have located the Tardis of Rassilon
Wait, you did? Why didn't you tell me?
So, if you found the Tardis of Rassilon, where is it?
Remember that Rassilon was famed, as a hoarder of knowledge.
Ahh..
Let's go get it then.
(Tardis noise, but deeper, echoey and grinding)
(theme song, ninth doctor fade in sound)
(theme music, second 60s style)
But my plan was a predestined success!
Coming from a position of confidence as I was,
I repeated the next iteration, and immediately choice
to pose as The Doctor's future self
The Doctor, of course, is immediately fooled
And together, we progress, through the daleks
I backstab him, leaving myself,
As sole owner, and possesor, of the Tardis of Rassilon.
But you don't need to go through this entire convoluted plan just to get here
You impersonate The Doctor from the start!
You get his Tardis, you get his companion to get you through any human non-sense,
And you go straight from the beginning, to the end!
Without any of this-your plan makes no sense!
If you note my past plan, I've not only already thought of that, but already acted through it,
on my way to my current state!
But you killed me!
That was unintentional! You got in the way.
You messed with my plan.
You meddled with my plan!
No no no no no, you messed with my plan, you ignoramus!
We meddled with each other's plans.
You killed me! (this is the master who got shot at. It's complicated and this last bit in't in continuety anyway..)
You were in the way!
You killed me!
This is redic- you actually don't need any of- you you're an idiot!
Your plan makes no sense!
Your plan makes even less sense!
You make less sense!
You...Have stupid glasses!
(theme song resumes. Still 2nd 60s.)
(laughter)
Can you hear me? can you hear me!!
(cyberman gun noises)
(Quoting) Rassilon was the suppository of all knowledge
Weren't we taking the tape off?
Nope.
Yes, yes we are
(music has turned into the 1980 theme)
(music is now blending into the 2005 theme)
Your entire plan makes no sense!
Well, if you know so much about it, why didn't you remember it?
Regeneration sickness is a legitimate excuse for memory loss!
Not when you end up dead!