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- COMING UP ON BAD INK...
- SOMEWHERE... - HI, GUYS!
- RIGHT THERE. - I'M GUESSING THAT'S HER.
- SO YOU HAVE THREE TATTOOS, BUT THEY'RE ALL IN ONE SPOT.
- RIGHT.
- YOU HAVE MORE TATTOO TREATMENTS, OR MARRIAGES?
ATTAGIRL, ATTAGIRL. - ALL RIGHT.
- YOU'RE GONNA LAUGH.
[laughter]
- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
- IF YOU FIXED THIS, THEN YOU, LIKE, CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER.
- YOU CAN DO THIS.
- OH, MY GOD!
[upbeat jazzy music]
- WELCOME TO THE MISTAKE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD.
WE HAVE A REPUTATION IN THIS TOWN.
WE'RE SAVING VEGAS
ONE BAD TATTOO AT A TIME.
♪ ♪
- LAS VEGAS, THE CITY OF SECOND CHANCES.
AND THE SMART MONEY IS ON ME AND DIRK
FINDING A TATTOO THAT NEEDS A FRESH START.
- I HAVE A REALLY BAD TATTOO
THAT MY WIFE HAS BEEN GIVING ME GRIEF OVER.
- LET'S SEE THIS TATTOO. - YEAH, HUH.
- OH.
[laughter]
AH, SHE NEEDS A *** JOB AND A NOSE JOB AND A CHIN JOB.
OUTSIDE OF THAT, SHE'S GORGEOUS.
- YEAH. - REALLY GORGEOUS.
PUT IT AWAY. I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.
SEEN ENOUGH.
ALL RIGHT, WHICH WAY YOU GOING?
I'M GONNA GO THIS WAY. - WE'RE GONNA GO THAT WAY.
- ALL RIGHT. [laughs]
- MY HUSBAND HAS THIS REALLY AWFUL TATTOO.
- I GOT TATTOOED BY A USED CAR SALESMAN.
I, UH--I KNOW, I KNOW. BAD IDEA. BAD IDEA.
- SLOW DOWN HERE. - [laughs]
- A USED CAR SALESMAN TATTOOED YOU?
- SO HE WAS LIKE, "I'LL GIVE YOU A GOOD DEAL
IF YOU LET ME TATTOO YOU," AND I'M LIKE--
- REALLY? - YEAH.
IT'S PRETTY BAD. - LET'S SEE THIS TATTOO.
- ARE YOU READY? - OH, MAN.
- IT'S A LITTLE CROSS-EYED. - LET'S SEE THIS PINTO.
- SHIELD YOUR EYES. - ALL RIGHT.
[laughter]
- IS THERE SOMETHING COMING OUT OF HER MOUTH?
- SMOKE. - OH, JEEZ.
LOOKS LIKE SHE'S VOMITING. YEAH.
- LITTLE ROUGH, HUH? - SHE NEEDS TO GO.
I'D LOVE TO COVER IT FOR YOU, BUD.
- THAT'D BE AMAZING. - OH, THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.
- LET'S DO IT, MAN. YOU'LL COME DOWN TO THE SHOP?
- NICE TO MEET YOU GUYS. - THANK YOU. NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- ALL RIGHT, WELL, ENJOY OUR TOWN.
- YES, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- OKAY, TRY TO SAVE SOME MONEY, 'CAUSE YOU GOT TO PAY ME.
- WE WILL. BYE. THANK YOU. - THANK YOU.
- WE'RE GOING TO MEET THIS CHICK BRIDGETT,
AND SHE WAS IN SOME FORM OF THE ARMED FORCES, BUT--
- OH, SHE'S NOT IN IT ANYMORE? - I DON'T BELIEVE SO.
- OKAY. - BUT, YOU KNOW, SHE GOT THIS,
I BELIEVE, WHILE SHE WAS IN THE MILITARY STILL.
SO SHE'S GOT SOME STUFF SHE NEEDS TO GET RID OF,
AND IT'S OUR PATRIOTIC DUTY TO GO HELP HER.
- ABSOLUTELY.
- HOPEFULLY WE WILL FIND HER SOMEWHERE...
- HEY, GUYS! - I'M GUESSING...
- RIGHT THERE. - THAT'S HER.
- [laughs] I HAVE A FEELING YOU MUST BE BRIDGETT.
- YES, YES. - HI THERE. ROB RUCKUS.
- HOW ARE YOU?
- I GOT TO TELL YOU, I WAS SCANNING,
LOOKING FOR A MILITARY-LOOKING GIRL.
- SHE DOESN'T SEEM MILITARY AT ALL.
- SHE COULD PROBABLY KISS OUR *** THOUGH.
TELL ME A STORY ABOUT THIS BAD TATTOO.
- WELL, I JOINED THE MILITARY WHEN I WAS 19 YEARS OLD,
AND I WAS IMMEDIATELY SHIPPED OVER TO SOUTH KOREA.
WOMEN PROBLEMS STARTED COMING UP,
AND I HAD FOUND OUT
THAT I WASN'T GONNA BE ABLE TO HAVE KIDS.
I TRIED TO TURN IT AS POSITIVE AS POSSIBLE.
YOU KNOW, I DECIDED THEN THAT I WAS GONNA MAKE
A MILITARY CAREER, SEE THE WORLD, YOU KNOW?
AND GOT THIS DUMB TATTOO.
- I HEAR THIS KIND OF STORY ALL THE TIME.
SOMEONE HAS SOMETHING TRAGIC HAPPEN IN THEIR LIFE
AND THEY WANT TO COMMEMORATE IT WITH A TATTOO.
SO WHEN THAT TATTOO GOES WRONG, I REALLY WANT TO HELP THEM.
WELL, I THINK I WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS THING,
SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
- YOU'RE GONNA LAUGH. YOU'RE GONNA LAUGH.
- NO ONE'S WATCHING US. IT'S NOT--
WHAT'S GOING ON? - ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE.
- ALL RIGHT, JUST BE REAL CASUAL ABOUT IT.
JUST REAL CASUAL, OKAY.
[laughter]
- REALLY?
WOW.
- NOW YOU WANT TO KNOW THE KICKER TO THIS?
- SURE.
- I TOLD YOU I COULDN'T HAVE KIDS, RIGHT?
LESS THAN A MONTH AFTER I GOT THIS...
- OH, NO [bleep]. - I CONCEIVED MY DAUGHTER.
- OH, MY GOODNESS. EASY FIX.
- SHE'S SIX, AND LEARNING HOW TO READ NOW.
SHE'S LIKE, "MOM, THAT'S A "C." WHAT'S THE--"
AND I'M LIKE, OH, MY GOD, IT'S TIME FOR THIS TO GO.
- I DO THINK IT WOULD BE TOUGH TO EXPLAIN
TO HER SIX-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER
WHAT "CAN'T POP THIS CHERRY" MEANS.
- MOMMY LIKES FRUIT.
- I HAVE ISSUES HERE. I HAVE RED.
- RIGHT, RIGHT. - RED'S HARD TO COVER.
I HAVE THICK BLACK. BLACK'S HARD TO COVER.
THE OTHER ISSUE I HAVE WITH BRIDGETT
IS SHE'S NOT SYMMETRICAL.
HER BELLY BUTTON IS NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF HER BODY.
HER RIGHT HIP IS FARTHER OUT THAN HER LEFT.
SO THERE'S A LOT OF CHALLENGES ON THESE KINDS OF THINGS.
WHAT IDEAS DO YOU HAVE? - WHAT ARE YOU PERSONALLY INTO?
- PANDA BEARS. I COLLECT PANDA BEARS.
- OH, I KIND OF LIKE THE IDEA OF PANDAS.
MAYBE IF WE DID A COUPLE PANDAS FOR EACH KID,
NOW IT CAN BE ABOUT THE KIDS,
AND THEN DO SOMETHING ELSE IN THE MIDDLE.
- YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN COVER IT UP AND MAKE IT LOOK GOOD?
- I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANY COVER-UP.
- LET'S GO BACK TO THE SHOP NOW.
- LIKE, NOW? - LET'S GO.
- BRIDGETT WANTS THIS TATTOO GONE TODAY.
SHE'S HAD THIS THING A LONG TIME.
THE JOKE'S OVER.
READY TO POP THEM CHERRIES? - I'M READY.
- TO THE LEFT THERE. - ALL RIGHT.
- COME ON IN. HAVE A SEAT.
LET ME--LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT YOU ONE MORE TIME.
OH, YEAH.
WELL, I REALLY DO LIKE THE IDEA OF THE PANDAS.
- JUST PUT A PANDA ON EITHER SIDE OF THE HIP...
- RIGHT.
- AND THEN WE'LL DO SOME BAMBOO AND STUFF.
JUST KIND OF KEEP IT AS SIMPLE AS WE CAN.
I'M GONNA GO DRAW. - OKAY.
- RELAX. - AWESOME, THANK YOU.
- I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
THE GREAT THING ABOUT USING PANDAS FOR A COVER-UP
IS THEY'RE HALF BLACK,
AND THAT BLACK'S REALLY GONNA HELP ME TO HIDE THAT RED.
- ALL RIGHT.
[needle buzzing]
GIRL, YOU GOT SOME CRAZY SKIN, MAN.
- I KNOW. - IT IS SO STRETCHY.
- LOOK, I CAN STRETCH IT OUT, LIKE--
- WHAT THE HELL? - I CAN MAKE BAT WINGS.
- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER TATTOOED SILLY PUTTY BEFORE.
NOW I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.
MAYBE I SHOULD'VE PRACTICED ON IT.
GUESS WHAT? - IT'S DONE.
- IT'S DONE. ALL RIGHT. I WANT YOU TO STAND UP.
WELL, THIS TATTOO IS DIFFERENT. IT'S NOT JUST A COVER-UP.
IT'S SOMETHING FOR HER KIDS, SO I REALLY HOPE SHE LIKES IT,
'CAUSE IF SHE LIKES IT, THE KIDS ARE GONNA LOVE IT.
OKAY, YOU READY? - YEAH.
- YOU GOT TO LIFT THE CURTAIN, OKAY?
- OKAY, I GOT TO LIFT THE CURTAIN.
- YOU CAN DO THIS. I KNOW--
OH, MY GOODNESS. OKAY, COME ON.
COME ON, LET'S GET A REASON FOR THEM TEARS.
- OH, MY GOD!
IT'S BEAUTIFUL, DIRK. THANK YOU.
DIRK, YOU CHANGED MY LIFE. YOU REALLY DID.
YOU REALLY DID.
THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I'VE EVER MADE IS GONE.
- WELL, THAT MEANS A LOT THAT I CAN DO THAT FOR YOU.
I TAKE IT SERIOUS, I REALLY DO. - I REALLY HOPE YOU DO.
- I DO. - I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND.
- ONE OF THE REASONS I LOVE DOING COVER-UP WORK
IS FOR THE SATISFACTION
OF TAKING SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE HATES
AND TURNING IT INTO SOMETHING SOMEONE LOVES.
I AM SO HAPPY WITH THIS COVER-UP,
ESPECIALLY THE LETTERING, WHICH WAS THE WORST PART.
OKAY, SORRY. COME ON.
I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM RUCKUS.
I'M A LITTLE INTRIGUED WHERE HE'S GOT ME GOING THIS TIME.
[all singing]
- ALL RIGHT. WHO STARTED THE PARTY WITHOUT ME?
- I GOT YOU COVERED, MAN. I GOT YOU COVERED, DON'T WORRY.
- IT'S ALL RIGHT. HI, LADIES.
- HI. HOW ARE YOU? - I'M--I'M OKAY.
YOU ARE? - REBECCA.
- REBECCA, VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU. - LIKE THE PINK.
- YOU ARE? - THANKS. THAT'S MY SISTER.
- BETH. - UH-HUH, YEP.
- SO YOU HAVE A BAD TATTOO? - BAD ISN'T EVEN THE WORD.
HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED:
ABOUT 15 YEARS AGO,
I WAS WORKING ONE DAY WITH ALL THE GUYS,
AND THE BIG THING FOR TATTOOS WAS TRIBAL.
- I LIKE TRIBAL WHEN IT'S DONE RIGHT,
LIKE, POLYNESIAN-STYLE.
BUT WHAT AMERICANS GET AS TRIBAL IS USUALLY NOT DONE RIGHT.
- SO I'M ON MY WAY HOME FROM WORK ONE NIGHT,
AND I PULLED INTO THE FIRST TATTOO SHOP I SAW.
I WALK IN THERE, AND I NOTICE
THAT THE ARTIST DIDN'T HAVE ANY TATTOOS,
BUT I WAS LIKE, "WELL..." - NONE?
- SO SHE GOT A TATTOO
FROM A TATTOO ARTIST WHO DIDN'T HAVE TATTOOS.
THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
- IT'S LIKE TAKING YOUR CAR TO A MECHANIC
THAT DOESN'T HAVE A CAR. - YEAH.
- SO I GO TO WORK THE NEXT DAY, AND ALL THE GUYS ARE LIKE,
"WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT ON YOUR ARM?"
- RIGHT.
- SO A COUPLE MONTHS LATER, AFTER IT HEALED,
I WAS LIKE, "IT REALLY LOOKS HORRIBLE,
SO I'M GONNA GO MAKE THE DUDE REDO IT."
- YOU WENT BACK TO THE SAME GUY? - SAME GUY.
- OKAY, DID HE HAVE ANY TATTOOS THE SECOND TIME?
- STILL DIDN'T HAVE ANY. - OKAY.
- I GET UP OUT OF THE CHAIR, AND I'M JUST LIKE,
"[bleep], THAT LOOKS WORSE."
IT LOOKS WORSE THAN IT DID THE FIRST TIME.
- JUST KEEP GOING BACK.
- YEAH. - UNTIL YOUR ARM FALLS OFF.
- ABOUT SIX MONTHS LATER, I'M LIKE, "OKAY, THAT'S IT.
"I'M TIRED OF WEARING LONG-SLEEVE SHIRTS.
"I'M GONNA GET THIS [bleep] FIXED ONCE AND FOR ALL,
AND IT'S GONNA BE GREAT."
SO I GET IN MY CAR, I GO DOWNTOWN IN WICHITA,
AND I'M LIKE, "THIS LOOKS LIKE A COOL SHOP."
- THIS IS NOW YOUR THIRD TIME AT A TATTOO PARLOR.
- IN THE CHAIR. - THIRD TIME IN A CHAIR.
- THAT WAS THE THIRD WORST DECISION
I'VE EVER MADE IN MY LIFE.
- THREE STRIKES, AND YOU'RE OUT!
- SO YOU HAVE THREE TATTOOS, BUT THEY'RE ALL IN ONE SPOT.
- RIGHT. - [laughs] OKAY.
OKAY, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
- JUST SHOW 'EM. YOU CAN DO IT.
- NO DRUMROLL. - NO DRUMROLL, YOU CAN--
OKAY, AH!
[laughter]
- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
- WE MET REBECCA AT THE BEER HALL.
- YEAH.
- MAN, DOES SHE GOT A BAD TATTOO.
- SHE HAD LAYERS OF BAD TATTOO.
THAT WAS ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR MISTAKES.
- DON'T WORRY. YOU'RE AMONGST PROFESSIONALS.
- JUST DO IT. JUST SHOW 'EM. YOU CAN DO IT.
AH!
- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? - EXACTLY.
[laughter]
- OH, MY GOD.
- IT'S BAD. - WOW. YEAH--NO, IT'S HORRIBLE.
- AND I WAS GONNA PUT, LIKE, RAY-BANS ON HIM
AND A CIGAR OVER HERE, BECAUSE I'M LIKE,
THEN HE WOULD BE, LIKE, A COOL LITTLE FAT BABY ANGEL.
- OKAY, OKAY.
- WOULDN'T YOU NORMALLY PUT THE ANGEL UP ON TOP
AND THE DEVIL DOWN BELOW? - WELL.
- ISN'T THAT HOW THEY GO? - NOT IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD.
DID YOU THINK IT WAS COOL AT ANY POINT IN YOUR LIFE?
- UH, NO.
[laughter]
- THE DEVIL LOOKED ANGRY. - SO DID THE ANGEL.
- THE ANGEL LOOKED DEMONIC. THE ANGEL LOOKED POSSESSED.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WITH IT?
- LIKE, LOOK AT THIS AND THEN THINK,
WHAT'S THE POLAR OPPOSITE?
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE OPPOSITE OF THAT IS.
[laughter]
BUT WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S THE COOLEST THING EVER.
- RIGHT.
- REBECCA'S EXISTING TATTOO,
ALTHOUGH IT'S HILARIOUS, IS GONNA BE HARD TO COVER UP.
WE'VE GOT TRIBAL. WE HAVE A DEVIL.
WE HAVE AN ANGEL. AND IT'S HUGE.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M GONNA GO GET READY,
AND WE'RE GONNA TATTOO.
- WHOO!
- DIRK?
- YES? - I'M HERE.
- REBECCA'S COMING OVER TO COVER UP
ONE OF THE CRAZIEST TATTOOS I'VE EVER SEEN.
SHE'S HAD THIS THING FOR 15 YEARS.
I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE LIVED WITH IT FOR 15 MINUTES.
SO ARE YOU EXCITED TO SEE THIS THING GONE?
- I AM. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME COMING.
AFTER BEING IN THE CHAIR THREE DIFFERENT TIMES
WITH TWO DIFFERENT GUYS.
- OH, EACH ONE MADE IT PROGRESSIVELY WORSE.
- YES, I'M HOPING THIS WILL BE A HOME RUN.
- YEAH.
SO THIS ONE'S REALLY, REALLY TRICKY,
BECAUSE IT'S SORT OF A MASCULINE TATTOO ON A NICE LADY.
SO I WANT TO FEMINIZE IT,
BUT ALSO GIVE HER SOMETHING THAT'S A WORK OF ART.
15 YEARS SINCE YOU'VE BEEN TATTOOED.
WELL, THEY STILL HURT.
- IT DIDN'T HURT THE FIRST TIME, THOUGH.
- IT'S GOING TO HURT TODAY. - OKAY.
BE GENTLE. - NOPE.
- OKAY, YEAH, THAT DOES HURT A LITTLE BIT.
I FORGOT ABOUT THE PAIN ALREADY.
- [speaking indistinctly]
QUIT LOOKING. - OH, MY GOD.
- WE'RE DONE. - [gasps]
- YOU BETTER CRY.
OH, [bleep]. YOU'RE ALREADY CRYING!
- I KNOW, I HAVEN'T EVEN LOOKED AT IT.
- OH, SWEETIE, I WAS JUST KIDDING.
ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME WELL
KNOWS I'M NOT VERY COMFORTABLE WITH EMOTION.
- YOU SUCK.
- LET ME--LET ME GET YOU A TISSUE.
HERE, UM-- THERE, THERE.
I'M JUST TEASING.
ALL RIGHT, SLOWLY, SLOWLY, SLOWLY.
COME ON.
- OH, MY GOD.
- IS IT GREAT?
- I LOVE IT.
OH, MY GOD. I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
LOOKS SO AWESOME. I LOVE IT.
- YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ANY SHIRTS WITH SLEEVES NOW.
- I KNOW, I'M GONNA CUT ALL THE [bleep] OFF LIKE A REDNECK.
- GOOD.
REBECCA LIVED WITH THIS DULL, UGLY,
BLACK TRIBAL AND DEMONS--I MEAN, IT WAS THE WEIRDEST TATTOO.
THE BIG, BIG CHALLENGE WAS THAT TRIBAL,
SO I DID A LOT OF SHADING IN THE FLOWER.
AND THAT'S ONE GREAT THING ABOUT FLOWERS,
IS YOU'VE GOT ALL THOSE PEDALS TO HIDE THINGS.
- [cries] - OH.
OKAY, NOW YOU HAVE TO HUG ME. SEE?
- IN VEGAS, YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE THE NIGHT'S GONNA TAKE YOU.
IN THIS CASE,
IT TOOK US STRAIGHT TO THE MIDDLE OF A BACHELORETTE PARTY.
[cheering]
- SO WE'RE HERE IN A LIMO WITH THIS GIRL STACY
AT HER BACHELORETTE PARTY TO LOOK AT ANOTHER BAD TATTOO.
HOW DO I LET YOU TALK ME INTO THESE THINGS?
- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
YOU'RE IN A LIMO WITH A BUNCH OF HOT CHICKS.
- YEAH!
- THERE YOU GO. WHOOP!
- ANYBODY ELSE HAVE TATTOOS, OR JUST YOU?
- I HAVE SOME WHERE YOU CAN'T SEE THEM.
- OH, I HAVE--I ALSO HAVE SOME WHERE YOU CAN'T SEE THEM.
- I HAVE SOME, AND YOU CAN SEE THEM ALL.
[laughter]
I'LL SHOW EVERY DAMN ONE OF MINE.
- I WISH YOU WOULDN'T. IT'S OKAY.
HOW DID YOU GET IT?
- I GOT THIS TATTOO, AND IT TURNED OUT PERFECT,
BUT IT WAS REALLY SMALL, SO WHAT I DID IS I ADDED TO IT.
I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT THERE'S DIFFERENT TATTOO ARTISTS--
ONE THAT'S GOOD AND ONE THAT'S BAD.
SO I GOT ANOTHER CRAPPY TATTOO ARTIST...
- AWESOME.
- TO DO A HUGE TATTOO.
I DECIDE, OKAY, I HATE IT,
'CAUSE IT WAS ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE,
SO THEN I TRY TO GET ANOTHER GUY TO KIND OF FIX IT UP
A LITTLE BIT, AND THEN--
- YOU'RE UP-- WE'RE UP TO THREE NOW?
- SO NOW--WE'RE UP TO THREE. - WE'RE UP TO THREE.
- WE'RE UP TO THREE. - ARE WE DONE?
- WELL-- - WE'RE NOT DONE. GO AHEAD.
[laughter]
- SO THEN I DECIDED, OKAY,
WELL, THEN I NEED TO GO TO TATTOO REMOVAL.
- UH-OH. - OH.
- I DID THREE LASER TATTOO REMOVALS.
- THE LASERS--THEY'RE A LITTLE TRICKY WITH CERTAIN PIGMENTS.
THE PROBLEM WITH LASERS IS THEY ATTACK THE BLACK REALLY WELL.
IT'S NOT AS EFFECTIVE ON COLOR.
I'D LOVE TO SEE THIS TATTOO.
- PLEASE BE AS NICE AS POSSIBLE, OKAY?
- UM... - [laughs]
- I AM ACTUALLY VERY EMBARRASSED OF THIS.
- ALL RIGHT.
- WHAT THE HELL?
- IS THAT ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE, OR WHAT?
- WHAT IS-- YEAH, IT'S REALLY BAD.
- OH, MY GOD. - I KNOW, RIGHT?
TO MEET STACY.
O WE GOP
SHE ROPES US INTO THIS BACHELORETTE PARTY.
- WHOO-HOO!
- AND NOW SHE'S FINALLY READY TO SHOW US THIS BAD TATTOO.
- I CAN'T WAIT.
- PLEASE BE AS NICE AS POSSIBLE, OKAY?
- UM... - [laughs]
- I AM ACTUALLY VERY EMBARRASSED OF THIS.
- ALL RIGHT.
- WHAT THE HELL?
- IS THAT ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE, OR WHAT?
- WHAT IS-- YEAH, IT'S REALLY BAD.
- I KNOW, RIGHT?
- I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HELL IT IS.
- IT'S WATER WITH A DOLPHIN. - OH, IT'S A DOLPHIN.
- TWO DOLPHINS. - THERE'S TWO DOLPHINS?
- OH, WAS IT A MAMA DOLPHIN AND A BABY DOLPHIN,
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
OR WAS IT AN ANGRY DOLPHIN TRYING TO EAT A SMALLER DOLPHIN?
- THAT DIDN'T LOOK LIKE NO DOLPHIN I'VE EVER SEEN BEFORE.
IT LOOKED LIKE A PIECE OF SUSHI
SOMEBODY SPIT BACK OUT ON THE PLATE.
- WELL, I MEAN, PROBABLY AT ONE POINT, IT LOOKED LIKE A DOLPHIN.
SO FOUR TATTOO ARTISTS WHO HIT THIS.
- YES. - AND THEN THREE LASER?
YOU NEVER GOT IT RIGHT, THAT'S AMAZING.
- YOU HAVE SUMMED UP MY LIFE. NEVER GOT IT RIGHT.
IS THIS YOUR FIRST MARRIAGE, OR FOURTH?
ATTAGIRL, ATTAGIRL. - ALL RIGHT.
- ALL RIGHT!
- YOU HAVE MORE TATTOO TREATMENTS, OR MARRIAGES?
- THE WORST PART IS,
I AM GETTING MARRIED IN HAWAII ON THE BEACH.
- OH.
- SO GUESS WHO ISN'T GONNA BE WEARING SHOES...
- YEAH, OH, YEAH. - TO COVER HER TATTOO.
- STACY'S GOT SOME ISSUES HERE.
THE TATTOO IS FADED.
SHE'S HAD SO MANY LASER TREATMENTS THAT IT'S SCARRED.
AND IN ADDITION TO THAT, THE WHOLE TATTOO AREA IS HUGE.
IT'S GONNA TAKE UP HER WHOLE FOOT.
SO WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?
- I'M GETTING MARRIED NEXT MONTH.
- SO YOU'D LIKE TO GET THIS DONE WHILE YOU'RE DOWN, I'M ASSUMING.
- I WOULD LOVE TO. - OKAY, WELL--
- IF THAT'S SOMETHING YOU HAVE, LIKE, TIME FOR.
- I CAN MAKE TIME. - AWESOME.
- YOU CAN-- - GIRLS, WE DID IT.
- WHOO! - ALL RIGHT.
YOU GUYS GO HAVE FUN. GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.
ALL RIGHT. - THANK YOU SO MUCH, LADIES.
- THANK YOU. - BYE.
- ALL RIGHT, WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
- BYE. - STAY WARM.
- ♪ DA, DA-DA-DA-DA ♪
[cheering]
- [laughs] - [bleep].
- WHAT YOU GOT GOING ON, MAN? - GOT SOME THINGS.
I'VE GOT SOME STUFF I HAVEN'T SEEN,
BUT ACCORDING TO HER, SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT.
- REALLY? - YOU HAVEN'T SEEN?
- WELL, IT'S ON MY BACK.
[laughter]
- WHAT KIND OF STUFF IS IT?
- UH, IT'S LIKE A GIRL WALKING A DOG.
OR THE DOG WALKING A GIRL, I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS WHICH.
[laughter]
- I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. - SOMEONE'S WALKING SOMEONE.
- OH, OH, OH.
OH, WOW. - [laughs]
THAT'S ONE BUFF-*** DOG.
- YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET RID OF IT FOR HER,
SINCE SHE'S THE ONE WHO HAS TO SEE IT.
- EXACTLY, YEAH. - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
- SINCE YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT IT.
- COME ON DOWN AND SEE ME. - ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANKS A BUNCH, MAN.
- NICE TO MEET YOU GUYS. - YOU GUYS HAVE A GOOD ONE.
- PLEASURE. - THANK YOU SO MUCH.
- HEY, DIRK, IT'S ME. - OH, HI, STACY. HOW ARE YOU?
- HOW YOU DOING? GREAT TO SEE YOU.
- OH, I'LL TAKE A HUG. ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, GO OUT THERE, MAKE A LEFT...
- OKAY. - AND THEN ANOTHER LEFT.
- SO WHERE'S MY SEAT THEN?
- COOL, WELL, YOU'RE GONNA ACTUALLY BE ON THIS.
- OKAY.
- SO WHAT I'M GONNA DO IS, I'M JUST GONNA CUT THESE OUT,
AND THEN THEY'RE GONNA BECOME TRANSFERS.
DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, SPECIFIC COLORS YOU LIKE?
- I REALLY LIKE PLUMERIAS THAT HAVE, LIKE, THE YELLOW
AND, LIKE, PINKISH IN IT AS WELL.
- OKAY, WELL, I'LL DO--
ONCE WE GET ON THE SKIN I'LL KNOW A LITTLE BIT MORE.
WE MIGHT HAVE TO PICK SOME DARKER COLORS.
- DARKER COLORS, OKAY.
- WITH THIS TATTOO, THE BIGGEST CHALLENGE IS THE SCAR TISSUE,
'CAUSE IT'S UNPREDICTABLE.
SOMETIMES A SCAR WILL ABSORB IT AND SPREAD,
AND SOMETIMES IT'LL PUSH IT OUT.
ALL RIGHT, GIVE ME A FOOT.
[needle buzzing]
- OH, HERE WE GO!
[sighs]
- HOW DID YOU MEET THIS FUTURE HUSBAND OF YOURS?
- I ACTUALLY MET HIM ON A DATING WEBSITE.
- ARE YOU KIDDING? - NO, I'M DEAD SERIOUS.
IT WAS REALLY NICE TO BE ABLE TO, LIKE, PICK MY PREFERENCES.
- I'M LIKE, "ALCOHOLIC WITH DADDY ISSUES."
- LOVE IT!
- DONE. - YAY!
- IF YOU FIXED THIS, THEN YOU, LIKE, CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER.
- YOU READY TO SEE THIS? - I'M READY.
- OKAY. - [gasps]
- THERE IT IS. - OH, MY GOSH.
IT IS SO FLIPPIN' PERFECT. HOW DID YOU DO THAT?
- I'M REALLY GOOD. - [laughs]
- STACY'S ORIGINAL TATTOO WAS PRETTY BIG,
SO I HAD TO PICK EVEN BIGGER FLOWERS TO HELP ME COVER IT.
I FOLLOWED THE SHAPE OF HER FOOT,
AND ANY OF THE BLUE THAT CAME OUT FROM UNDERNEATH
BECAME AN ACCENT COLOR, WHICH ACTUALLY MADE THE FLOWERS POP.
I ADDED BLUE, SO ANY BLUE THAT POPS THROUGH
IS GONNA LOOK LIKE A REFLECTION.
IT'S GONNA LOOK LIKE IT BELONGS THERE, YOU KNOW.
NO ONE'S GOING TO THINK, "WHAT'S UNDER THIS?" EVER.
- THANK YOU SO MUCH, 'CAUSE I CAN FINALLY BE, LIKE,
REFOOT ON THE BEACH FOR MY WEDDING.
- ALL RIGHT, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
- THANK YOU. OKAY.
- GET YOU MARRIED, GIRL. - THANK YOU.
OH, MY GOSH, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
MY WEDDING IS GONNA BE PERFECT.
- DON'T RUN OUT TOO QUICK, MAN. YOU OWE ME SOME MONEY.