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The philosopher Plato gave many accounts
of the great city of Atlantis.
Yet much is unknown about this legendary civilization:
Did Atlantis really exist?
What could everyday life have been like?
How could such a powerful civilization
simply fade away?
We're here at the competition of the epoch,
with two crucial teams:
the Atlantic Sea Urchins and the Arctic Belugas.
We've seen each of these teams compete
in the semifinals, with tremendous losses
on both sides.
As in traditional Atlantean dodgeball,
both our tough competitors started the finals
with teams of 1000 players.
And, wow, have those numbers diminished!
The semifinals were harsh for the Sea Urchins;
they lost a part of their whole team, 500 players.
And in Atlantean dodgeball,
when you lose a member
they're out for the season.
Speaking of losses,
the Belugas didn't fare much better.
Their whole team lost almost the same part:
520 players.
But let's compare the parts of each team that are left.
After losses, the teams will start today's game
with about half their players.
Let's head down to the field to hear how
these numbers will affect each coach's strategy.
Those losses are yesterday's news.
We've got about a one-to-one
ratio of Urchins to Belugas.
With odds this close
we'll have to play a pretty tight game.
Those Urchins have 500 players.
That's 20 more than 480.
There's a huge difference!
Coach, it may seem like a lot,
but when you compare your 480 Beluga players
to the 500 Urchins on the opposing team,
the difference isn't that great.
20 players! Argh!
I think maybe his blowhole
may be too close to his brain.
He's just counting up the difference,
when he should be looking at the ratio.
That's no way to motivate a team,
but it looks like it's time to get those
dodgeballs in the air.
It looks like our first player is out of the game.
The dodgeballs are really flying now.
These players are playing their hearts out!
Just look at that score.
460 Urchins against 400 Belugas!
We're seeing these players drop like flies.
The Urchins are now at 230 players
while the Belugas are at 231.
Looks like they really were closely matched!
Neither team is giving up without a fight!
With so few players left,
skill is really going to affect the outcome of this game.
All that matters now is how many team members
remain on each side.
And the Sea Urchins have the advantage
with 9 members left.
When we started this game
they had 20 more players than we did.
Now they have 7 more than we do.
Our chances have improved!
Ummm. Coach,
you're still looking at the difference.
When you started, their team had 20 more players;
now they have 7 more players,
but you need to compare the two teams using a ratio
of the members that are left on each team.
Ratio, smatio!!
Dodgeballlll!!!!
He might be a few togas shy of a party.
Of course we're going to win,
it's a 9:2 ratio between the remaining teams.
We started this game with
an Urchin:Beluga ratio of about 1:1.
The ratio is now a staggering 9:2.
No one can argue any longer
that these teams are evenly matched.
... And thus concludes one more of my
famous accounts of the lost city Atlantis.
Ugh. It feels like I've been listening to
this story for four score and seven years.
I wish to hear of this Atlantis nevermore.
Oh, ooh ooh.
Have I told you the totally true story of
the great Atlantean spelling bee showdown?
*groans*