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-Woo hoo.
MERCENARY: Well, you can forget
about those Slug Cruisers.
They are light years away with their dicks in the dust--
not literally, of course, because large
ships don't have dongs.
ROBES: We understand.
MERCENARY: Well, we're here, what now?
ROBES: We have to set a course for the Danterian sector.
I fear we're running out of time.
MERCENARY: All right, well, we'll just slingshot around
that small moon up there.
ROBES: That's no moon.
MERCENARY: Yeah, it is.
ROBES: No, it's not.
MERCENARY: It's definitely a moon.
It's got all the classic moon things.
ROBES: No, really, it's not a moon,
MERCENARY: Buddy, I think I would know what
a moon looks like.
ROBES: Oh, you know what a moon looks like.
MERCENARY: Yeah.
ROBES: Well, if you think that looks like a moon, I would
love to hear what you think are the "classic moon things."
MERCENARY: All right, classic moon things--
round, near a planet, guns everywhere.
ROBES: Ah, guns.
MERCENARY: What?
ROBES: Guns are definitely not a moon thing.
And neither is being shaped like a C, or being partially
see-through, or half-constructed.
DEWEY: [WOOKIE ROAR]
MERCENARY: You said it, Dewey.
ROBES: What, what did he say?
MERCENARY: Oh, he said your little braid thing makes you
look like a big girl.
And, also, you're wrong about the moon thing.
[MALFUNCTION SOUNDS]
ROBES: Ha, if that's a moon then how come we're stuck in
its tractor beam?
MERCENARY: Moons can have tractor beams.
DARBY: And another floor done.
MIKE: What, already?
DARBY: "Virtua Janitor" champion, right here.
I'm telling you, another couple months leveling at
double XP, and my rank goes up to Assistant Custodial
Manager, and actual manager when the manager is sick.
MIKE: Oh, no.
Tractor beams are offline again.
You want to come check this out?
DARBY: No, I'm going to play an extra
shift before my shift.
MIKE: OK, suit yourself.
New downloadable content, broom armor?
Purchase.
Insufficient credits?
Mike, you forget something?
DEWEY: [WOOKIE ROAR]
MERCENARY: Is it the one?
DEWEY: [WOOKIE SPEAK]
DARBY: You guys are rebels.
MERCENARY: No, we're mercenaries.
There's a difference.
DARBY: Sure, whatever you want.
MERCENARY: So my pal here says you saved him from some
exploding space station or something?
DARBY: Oh, right, right, yeah, from the escape pod, yeah.
Wait, you can understand what he's saying?
MERCENARY: Yeah.
And you will too.
DARBY: I will?
MERCENARY: Today's your lucky day, janitor.
You just inherited a life debt.
DARBY: A what?
MERCENARY: A life debt.
You saved his life, so now he has to stay by your side until
he gets a chance to save yours.
It's pretty decent.
Basically, you get a giant angry hairy bodyguard
following you around for, like, a pretty long time.
DARBY: Sweet.
MERCENARY: You sure about this, buddy?
DEWEY: [WOOKIE SPEAK]
MERCENARY: Take care.
[WOOKIE SPEAK]
[LAUGH]
DEWEY: [WOOKIE SPEAK]
MERCENARY: Oh, and try not to beat him at any games.
DARBY: Oh, because let me guess, he gets angry and rips
people's arms off.
MERCENARY: No, genitals.
This one gets mad and tears off genitals.
Well, see you.
DEWEY: [WOOKIE ROAR]
DENNIS 4862: Ah, what's new with me?
Just me in this rebel encounter right here.
Check it out, not a big deal.
EDITH KINGPIN: Did you actually manage to shoot
anyone, or?
DENNIS 4862: I actually got to hit one of these
insect-looking droids right there.
MIKE: Those ones are on our side.
DENNIS 4862: Yeah, I got in pretty big trouble.
-Well, at least you killed something, right?
DENNIS 4862: That's true.
DARBY: Guys, check it out.
This is Dewey.
He owes me a life debt, so he's going to be hanging
around for a little bit, you know, protecting me, making
sure I don't die, being my cool buddy while he
helps keep me alive.
EDITH KINGPIN: Darb, where did you--?
DEWEY: [WOOKIE ROAR]
EDITH KINGPIN: You do realize that until this thing saves
your life, he's going to be around you all the time.
DARBY: Yeah, think of all the cool stuff we can
do with this guy.
Oh, we've got to sign up for that two on two Lazerball
tournament.
MIKE: Hey, we were going to join that?
DARBY: But look at how tall he is?
Plus, you say that I never pass the ball.
MIKE: You don't.
DARBY: Well, now I will--
to Dewey.
DEWEY: [WOOKIE ROAR]
DARBY: Yeah, exactly.
EMILY ROARKE: You understand them?
DARBY: No.
I'm having a hard time picking it up.
I think he said, go team.
Or maybe he said, toilet.
Do you have to go to the toilet?
DEWEY: [WOOKIE SPEAK]
DARBY: I'm going to take that as a yes considering what
happened 10 minutes ago.
DEWEY: [WOOKIE SPEAK]
[WOOKIE ROAR]
DENNIS 4862: So Darby's dog is wearing a belt?
EDITH KINGPIN: Are you serious?
ROBES: That hallway leads directly to bay 17.
That's where your ship is being held.
MERCENARY: All right.
I'm going to sneak past them with this cloaking device.
ROBES: That's no cloaking device.
MERCENARY: Yeah, it is.
I think I'd know what a cloaking device is, OK?
I'm a smuggler.
ROBES: Really, you think that--
MERCENARY: Look, I'm not going to start taking technology
advice from a guy who rocks a robe like 24/7, OK?
ROBES: It's not a robe.
It's a gi.
MERCENARY: It's a robe.
I've taken showers before.
I took one this morning, wore a robe--
like that one, but better.
It's silk.
ROBES: I've have you know this is the latest fashion.
MERCENARY: Whatever.
You wouldn't recognize this cloaking spray because it's
new kind, the spray-on kind.
ROBES: It's cooking spray.
MERCENARY: I've just got to gear down, OK?
It doesn't affect the clothing.
It only affects organic matter.
ROBES: You're not seriously going to--
MERCENARY: I'm going to be a shadow.
Now you see me, now you don't.
ROBES: Yes, I do.
MERCENARY: Seal the deal, blast the donger.
ROBES: OK, that's just wrong.
MERCENARY: I'm invisible now.
I'm a ghost.
I'll be like the wind.
DARBY: And these teeth come from an animal native to the
Firefall region of the planet Kostro.
MIKE: That is not interesting.
Do you know where he's staying tonight?
DARBY: Yeah, he said something about
getting set up somewhere.
MIKE: Well, I hope so because I could not take another night
of sleep howling until 4:00 AM.
DARBY: Don't worry.
It's under control.
Once he settles in, he's going to be great.
And he can cover our shifts for us.
And that means we can sleep in.
And I think he's saying something about back rubs.
OK, maybe I didn't think this through.
MIKE: There are entrails on my bed.
EMILY ROARKE: Dewey, would you mind waiting
outside for a moment?
DEWEY: [WOOKIE SPEAK]
EMILY ROARKE: So guys, I did a bit of research
on your pet, here.
Turns out, he's wanted in five systems.
His accomplices are already in custody.
MIKE: Don't worry, Darb's got it all under
control, right Darb?
DARBY: Lemme guess, harboring a fugitive is--
MIKE: Death.
Just death again.
Most of the laws are death.
DARBY: OK, yeah.
Let's get rid of him.
Lazer ball commissioner is going to be pissed.
MERCENARY: So let me guess.
The honeymoon phase is over, and now you're sick of his
weird shedding, gross smell, and tendency to blow things up
with his crossbow.
Happens all the time.
DARBY: Yeah look, can you just tell me how to get rid of him?
MERCENARY: Well, I could help you on the life debt if you
help us bust out of here.
What do you think of that?
ROBES: I think I should have gone with one of the other
smugglers in the cantina.
MERCENARY: Look, I'll need to be there.
And I'll also need my clothes back.
ROBES: Even that butt-faced guy would have
been good, I bet.
DARBY: OK, maybe I can distract the guards for a bit,
but we're going to need something to cut
you guys out of there.
MERCENARY: Will this do?
ROBES: Give me that!
Wait, where were you keeping this?
MERCENARY: [CHUCKLE]
DARBY: You sure he's going to to fall for this?
MERCENARY: Yeah, they don't see too well.
I've used this bear suit tons of times.
DARBY: Wait, how does the new life debt
cancel out the old one?
MERCENARY: I don't know.
It's just the way their rules work.
When he comes in here, just say that you saved his life,
and then you guys are in the whole life debt deal together.
DARBY: But he won't get jealous or something?
MERCENARY: No, it just cancel each other out.
Unless?
DARBY: Unless What?
MERCENARY: Well, unless, he invokes the rights of Hururra.
He has the right to fight Mike to the death and whoever wins
gets the life debt.
MIKE: What?
MERCENARY: But here he comes, so let's just
stick to the plan.
MIKE: Oh, there's no plan anymore.
What plan?
MERCENARY: I'm going to go over there, away from the
danger zone, and everything will be great.
DARBY: Relax.
DEWEY: [WOOKIE ROAR]
DARBY: Oh, hey Dewey.
Hey.
DEWEY: [WOOKIE SPEAK]
DARBY: Check this out, I saved this guy's life.
And now he owes me a life debt.
DEWEY: [WOOKIE SPEAK]
DARBY: So I guess that's--
DEWEY: [WOOKIE ROAR]
DARBY: No, no, no, Dewey, come on?
DEWEY: [WOOKIE ROAR]
[WOOKIE SPEAK]
DARBY: What did he say?
MERCENARY: He said he's going to miss you a lot.
DEWEY: [WOOKIE SPEAK]
MERCENARY: Let's go, Dewey, before I start to cry.
DARBY: Mike, can we keep him?
MIKE: No.