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I want to be with Berta
PREVIOUSLY
One guy, one screw. It’s Berta’s motto.
Unless I change my face
That’s it.
I think that throwing a costume party is not a good idea.
Write down the make-up tests of the groom, the bride and the matrons of honor
The trouble is you are more interested in all the wedding stuff than me.
Maybe you need another guy who fits better into your fairy tale wedding.
Maybe I do
I’m taking off
Miguelito is the Chinese boy we’re gonna adopt.
Adoptions take so long. The best is a surrogate mother
What?
That's your wedding dress
Yes
Raúl got too anxious with the wedding
That’s the reason why I’ll never get married.
Javi!!
Hi Berta!
You again??
I thought you´d like it... And... I’d never stand you up in front of the altar. I... I love you. Really.
No... Guys, I’ve gotta go.
I told you it wouldn’t work...
Lucía and I broke up. There’s no wedding.
I love you, but... you're a ***
***! ***! ***!
The Nazis are getting close to the Pyrenees!! I request support missiles, general!
Is all this necessary? I work at night and I need to sleep late!
Moving forward, colonel! I don’t like playing in silence.
I wish we lost the war.
I’m stronger than you, son of a ***!!
Your breakfast is in the microwave. And the buttered toasts in the fridge.
I can make my own breakfast!
It’s cold!
That’s why it’s in the microwave, so you heat it up, useless!!
Useless... At least I don’t get obnoxious over a silly little thing...
A silly little thing? Do you consider adopting a child a silly little thing?
A little.
All right. So now let’s see how you manage on your own. I love you, but it’s over.
Honey, Before you leave, could you leave my lunch ready?
Tell your mum to do it!
Pablo and I broke up.
Great... Now you’ll be able to comfort me.
Hey! And who will comfort me!
I was gonna marry the love of my life...
...and he turned out to be a real ***. Just like my husband... at least you’ve realized in time
And the worst thing is I haven’t told mum yet...
You are my best friend and my moral support. Besides, you’re gay.
So?
You’re really good at adorning tragedies!
I don’t get why you don’t ask your mum? At the Oscars, it’s so trendy to take your mummy with you!
Are you crazy!? I’m not gonna take my mum to my film’s award ceremony
Sure! Everyone would pay more attention to her *** than to you.
Shut up, you ***. I’ve thought of asking Berta. She’s tall, nice, and hot...
And she has smaller *** than you.
My ex used to say: don’t let a friendly *** steal a girl from you.
BERTA, DO YOU WANNA COME TO A SUPER CHIC AWARD CEREMONY?
GREAT! I’LL BE WEARING A REALLY EXPENSIVE FACE POWDER I PINCHED FROM MY SHOP.
GIVING SOLE A PINCH IS LIKE HITTING ON A RUBBER PLANT.
Don’t worry, lots of weddings are called off every day
kiss kiss, bye.
What did you tell my mum?
...well, dear, all she cares about is being the bride’s mum and show her ***, right?
She told me all she cares about is MY happineeess...
okaaaay, you’re right, she just wants to be the center of attention
So I’ve promised to her I will marry you myself if her *** begin to fall down
***! ***! ***!
Oh! It looks as if someone stood you up...
No!
And that’s why you look so cute...
To feel you are an independent, modern woman, and who doesn’t need the acceptance of others...
What’s all that “feeling modern” crap! This evening it’s Sole’s award ceremony... with a lot of celebrities
and I’ve just got a little wound!!
And you call that disgusting SPOT a little wound!!
Clara! You’re not helping me!!
Ups... Can I borrow this for my party!?
And were shall I find now another man who wants to marry me?
What do you want to marry for? To find out one day that you live with an immature idiot who doesn’t want to have a child with you
Guys suck
Stay with me, I’m sure we´ll be much better off, we could even have a child together
What about sex?
Oh, dear, that was solved long ago, there are vibrators that give you more pleasure than a man... and less trouble.
But I wanted a wedding, with the dress, the walk down the aisle, the dance, the presents...
The presents? Tacky things you keep in a drawer and take out when your family’s visiting.
And which don’t go with anything
Problem solved. I’m gonna get the awful set of glasses Raúl’s uncles.
We’re gonna do shock therapy.
TACKY DINNER SERVICE, 200 €
BREAKING IT TO RELEASE STRESS, PRICELESS
*** housemaids 24 hours, what can we do for you?
Hi cutie, how are you doing? My house has been seized by the Nazis. I need to chill out, where is your husb...
what the heck happened to your kitchen? Have you cooked?
Yes, Álvaro is with Lucía.
Sure... I’d better come back later
No, no, no! Stay you to dinner.
Hi gorgeous, Sole’s not in and I’m bored, what are you doing?
Trying to cook!
I see, and Álvaro?
Get down, this is gonna blow up!!
What the heck were you cooking?
Pasta
And don’t miss Raúl’s great-aunt’s coffee set
And the awful Chinese vase of his cousin
Lucia!
What the heck is wrong with you? Can’t you see you’re making me lose pace?
those are wedding presents
so?
There’s no wedding...
And that means...
That they have to be returned
if I glue it down here they might not even notice
It’s really good. Since when do you know how to cook?
if you’re straight
You’re so typical
where did you learn? Confess
Álvaro taught me
So, Javi, what’s up with Berta? Any progress?
No way man, after the spectacular failure at the party...
Make her jealous
That always works.
Girls just want something when they see it in someone else.
I see that meeting celebrities has been a great experience to you....
No way! I’m happy because I’ve gone to a Ceremony with one of the actresses. Do you know how proud I am of you?
Thanks dear
So now get a good wine to celebrate...
But I din’t win any awards...
so?
I wasn’t even nominated.
I don’t want this evening to end yet...
No problem whatsoever
Pablito, and now that you broke up with Álvaro, have you come back to commerce?
I don’t know... we’d had more fights, but he’d never left before.
Usually Álvaro gets unbearable, and won’t talk to me,
I pretend I don’t care, he finally makes fun at me, and I start picking on him till I make him laugh,
but this time...
He didn’t laugh
No, he was really mad when he left
So now what?
I don't know. Álvaro fell in love with me ´cause I made him laugh, and if he doesn´t think I’m funny any more...
But Pablo, You’ve got many other things...
Really?
You´re sweet, optimistic, good, fun, naive, incredibly handsome...
Go on, don’t stop
And I’ve never thought you’re funny
Did you really like my film?
I liked your scene
But I only had one line
You’re also acting when you don’t speak. You’ve got a strong presence. And a big pair of ***. I couldn`t stop looking at you,
I barely heard what the lead characters were talking about.
It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever told me
Maybe you don’t hang around the proper people
Like you?
Like me
I’ve heard so many stories about your skills in bed
And I’m sure you’ll be surprised even so, ***,...this is...
A surprise, and a big one,
How sexy
Do one stronger Action
Is all this necessary? I work at night and I need to sleep late!
I have to say my line
what?
I have to say my line
I can make my own breakfast I don't need you to make it because I can make it alone
Get off!
We're going to cut off
Get down...
I’m happy because I’ve gone to a Ceremony with one of the actresses...
When you're not acting.....
Again
They have to be returned
That means...
***!
It will not break, and it will be totally ridiculous
Let's go then!
Action!
And don’t miss Raúl’s great-aunt’s coffee set
He’d never left before. Usually Álvaro
enough, isn't it?
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