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you know in terms of
the love that we know most most talked about and many many books are written about it and
the largest discussed thing in this world is relationships
so let's just take one relationship that is causing more angst than anything else
is a man and womans love
stop tell me about the nature of that and why does it cause that much angst
and is there a spiritual potential spiritual dimension to the nature of a man woman love
we've talked about feminine
masculine male female
is there something we can find
in a marriage that takes it beyond the stresses and strains of an everyday practical marriage
there is no such thing as man dog love man woman love man mother love man son love
man daughter love
there is no such thing
love is just a certain sweetness of emotion
how you're arriving in it is the only question isn't it
the method
so the man woman thing
is a compulsive love affair
nature is pushing you
towards each other
because
nature is interested in only one thing perpetuating herself
if it somehow doesn't put a man woman together
you and me wouldn't be here
so whether they love each other or not that's not the question they have to come together
some how
otherwise you and me wouldn't be born
so this is a compulsive need
this need is throwing people together
to experience some sense of oneness
this is one love affair
chemically supported by nature
he he he ok
all the other love affairs are not chemically supported by nature it is just yours
but this is one love affair which is chemically supported by nature
for most of these love affairs unfortunately once the chemistry runs out
they wonder why the hell are they together
so before the chemistry runs out
you're supposed to establish a different level of conscious love affair
which is beyond the chemistry
if that doesn't happen it turns ugly
so what is that love affair that is a conscious love affair
let's talk about that
let's take it further is there a potential spiritual dimension to it
I'm not saying there has to be
is there potentially but let's first say
when the chemistry when the chemicals don't react anymore what reacts
what
what works what makes it work
the chemistries of the body ok
the bodily chemistry places certain things according to its needs
the moment the need is satisfied you wonder why the hell are you here
so that is a very different kind of thing
that is nature's trick
you are like you are ten eleven years of age
the world was everything fine with it
suddenly your
intelligence got hijacked
by your hormones
suddenly the whole world looks different
all of a sudden
so all that's happened is
your intelligence got hijacked by the hormones
the chemistry has hijacked you
very very few individuals have the necessary awareness to look beyond that at life
everybody else get
flooded by this process
by the time they recover
usually it's too late
he he he
not necessarily
so is it something wrong
or right
there is nothing wrong or right it's just limited that's all
is being limited a crime no
but the nature of the human being is such he suffers limitations
he doesn't like it
so relationship when you see a man and a woman you're talking about a relationship
because there are other aspects to it
there may be a social angle to it there may be a physical angle to it
there may be a psychological angle to it
there may be an economic angle to it
the variety of other things to fulfill in a relationship
we form relationships with a variety of people in our lives
you have business relationships you have personal relationships you have professional relationships
so relationships we form
basically to fulfill different types of needs
or to fullfill somebody else's needs which ever way it is
that is a relationship
but what you refer to as love is just a sweetness of your emotion
you can use another person
to stimulate that within you
or you can be self on self start mechanism
so
but it's possible for two people together that been for together beyond the chemistry
the chemical or the hormones
to be self start to be starters for each other and continue that relationship i mean
do you see value in that
do you see value in people staying together for so long
in a marriage
beyond duty beyond
say okay we have children we have to do it together society expects us to
see there is a certain beauty for two human beings
to weave their lives as one
there is a certain sense of see
if you have to really be with somebody
you have to give up a part of yourself
in some way
so the english expression falling in love
is very significant
you can only fall into it
you can't stand in it you can't climb in it
you have to fall into it
falling means
some part of you has to
go to accomodate another
which is a good thing
for a human being to do
but he doesn't think too much of himself one who thinks too much of himself
cannot be in a love affair
somewhere
you have to surrender a part of yourself
to be in a love affair
in that sense it's a very beautiful thing
but in this weaving as you call it
is it possible for you to be with another person that becomes and
I'm just guessing here
that becomes the conduit towards your own self-realization
is that a possibility
is that a could that be a base of relationship it is definitely a possibility
but it's a risky possibility
ok i understand that
you may just get entangled and lost in so many complexities of a relationship
rather than finding the ultimate nature I am not saying it's not possible it's very much possible
so that is why in India when we got people married
we tied what's called as a mangal sutra
today it's just a thread
a ritualistic thread
but that's not how it originally started
there's a way
of taking a strand of energy
from you
and your partner
and tying it up
in a certain way
so that beyond your logic
beyond your understanding
beyond your psychological emotional and physical needs
some where deep inside two beings are tied together two lives
are tied together
so a lot of people cannot understand how these
two people are together
because nothing seems to be common in them
but still they are like one because on
another level they are tied up
this can happen because of the physical proximity
and the intimacy of the whole relationship
but even before you started
we have a whole technology as to how to tie up two lives together
so we always said
that this is a lifelong thing you cannot break it
if you break it you have to tear two lives apart
because it is not just an arrangement
it was a kind of a union
if you listen to all the mantras chanted in the wedding they are always talking about
this
how these two beings are being welded together
ok so any way you come from bollywood
and there was a time thirty years ago twenty five years ago
every song was talking genma genma genma
now they're talking expiry date
ha hu hu hu hu ok
so the whole context of relationships have changed
which is which i feel is sad
because the profoundness of being with another being has been lost in this
in the name of freedom
in the name of choice
actually you're becoming horribly compulsive
it' all about yourself
when it's all about yourself you will not know the beauty of life
so these marriages
which were done in a certain way
was never about you was always about the other person both the people if they think like
this it's about the other person it's a beautiful place to be
if only one person thinks like that it becomes exploitation
if both the persons don't think like that it's just a compulsive relationship
me trying to extract something from you you trying to extract something from me
it's uh
conflict situation all the time