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For the question, “Is it okay to be gay?” some school boards have clear policies about
human rights issues like racism, sexism and homophobia. At the same time, some students
hear homophobic comments at home, and from friends. Students who are just becoming aware
that they may be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered need to hear that it’s okay
to be who you are.
I am addressing the question, “Is it okay to be gay?” This is an issue that may come
up several times during the school year. Aside from dealing with it on an ongoing basis,
students should also become aware of the contributions made by all their diverse communities, including
gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people.
If you are a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered teacher, this is probably not a good time
to come out to your students.
We think it’s best to start the answer with a strong affirmative, before going into the
details.
And, the next question is, “Is it okay to be gay?” Absolutely.
By gay or homosexual, we mean someone who has strong romantic and physical attractions
to people of the same sex. Sometimes, the word lesbian is used for women who are attracted
to other women. By the way, a gay man is glad to be a man and a lesbian is as glad to be
woman, as well. A person is bisexual if they are attracted to both men and women. Men and
women who are attracted to the opposite sex are called heterosexual, and sometimes we
just use the word straight.
So, how does someone become gay? Well, someone does not become gay. Most scientists believe
people are born gay, bisexual or straight. You cannot make someone gay, just like you
cannot make someone straight. You are who you are. The only way to know for sure if
someone is gay or lesbian is to ask them.
Gay, bisexual and lesbian people have existed in every period throughout history. They have
existed in every country, in every religion. And, you know, it’s funny, but there are
other animals besides humans who mate, or even try to mate, with the same sex. For example,
we know that there are dolphins, there are monkeys, there are apes, and even birds who
have been observed to be doing this.
With human beings, unfortunately, other people might have a problem with people who are gay.
Some students in high school, for example, are afraid to say that they are gay because
they don’t know if they’ll be safe or not. They may be afraid people will bully
them.
Well, our school is clear about what’s okay and not okay. People can think what they want,
but it’s not okay to make fun of someone who is not like you because of their race,
their religion, their gender or who they are attracted to. In fact, the Canadian Charter
of Rights and Freedoms forbids discrimination of any kind.
If someone thinks they might be gay, lesbian or bisexual and feels fine about that, well,
that’s great. If they want to talk to someone about that, it can be arranged.
The Toronto District School Board has a policy on equity. Look up their website in the resource
section. It is: Toronto School Board’s Equity in Education, Section 3, titled Anti-Homophobia,
*** Orientation, and Equity.
Sometimes, a student asks how gay people have sex.
There are many different ways to make love. I just want to remind you, they can use their
hands, their mouth, any parts of their body, to kiss and touch and make each other feel
good. It’s the same with people who are gay or lesbian. There is no one way that people
make love.
It is also important to mention the term “transgendered”. Many students may have heard the word and
are confused about what it means. If you need more in-depth information on transgendered
issues, the resource section of the DVD will provide it. You also need to clarify that
cross-dressing has nothing to do with a person’s *** orientation. Cross-dressers enjoy dressing
up as the opposite sex. It does not mean that they are necessarily transgendered. You may
also have heard the term “drag queen”. Well, drag queens are men who enjoy dressing
up as women, and they usually adopt a female personality. They are mostly entertainers.
Has anyone ever heard of the word “transgendered?” “No.” No? Okay. Well, most people who
are transgendered know, from a very young age, that they are a different sex from the
one their body tells them they are. A boy might feel that he is really a girl, whereas
a girl might feel that she is really a boy. It’s like being in the wrong body. It’s
kind of like how you feel if you put your left shoe on your right foot. Some transgendered
people feel that they are a blend of male and female. Puberty can be a difficult time
for young people. For transgendered people, it can be especially troubling. As they go
through the physical changes, their bodies become even more different from the sex that
they believe they are. Luckily, there is help for students who think they are transgendered,
so they can eventually become more like the gender they feel they are.
If you have more time to spend on this issue now, or at another time in the school year,
here are some additional suggestions for classroom work. I put the words “gay”, “bi”
and “straight” on the blackboard, then I would draw boxes around them. This is what
I’d say to the kids:
I know we define people as being gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight. We do tend to think
people live in very distinct boxes, but the reality is more like this: most people are
not 100% gay or 100% straight. Straight people may also have attractions to people of the
same sex, and vice versa. During puberty, children who see themselves as straight sometimes
develop crushes on people of the same sex; and people who see themselves as gay sometimes
develop crushes on people of the opposite sex. It’s just part of learning about yourself
as you grow.