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There's something.
Hello?
Something about you.
I know something's changing.
But I can explain it. There's something, something about you.
I know something's changing, but I can explain it at all.
Ah, crap!
You scared me.
Sorry.
It's a good song, though.
Thanks.
Where you been?
Out.
I met up with Rose from the office. Do you remember Rose?
Because I was out on a date.
Wowza.
Is that so strange?
A straight answer is what's strange, Blue.
Well if you're gonna start then I won't even tell you about it.
Was it with Cooper?
No, why would it be with Cooper?
Did he ever call you back?
So who was this date with?
Roy. The plumber who found a *** in the sink.
You remember the ***.
You're dating the plumber?
I'm not dating the plumber. I'm dating somebody who owns a plumbing business that happens to be very successful.
According to him.
Well, can I meet the plumber?
No, he is not my boyfriend, Josh.
You like him, right?
No, no I don't. I don't know. I don't even really know him.
Why did you say yes?
I said yes because he asked me and -
Sometimes, Josh, I have these daydreams about having a more normal life.
Our life isn't normal?
No, our life is perfectly normal.
I mean, I don't know who my dad is, or why I can't see my grandfather more often.
My grandma is a *** party girl, and you are the queen of mystery.
And we are in therapy with an alcoholic therapist who is married to a bartender.
And despite being three grades ahead of my age group I am about to be kicked out of my school.
Now were perfectly normal, aren't we?
Ok, ok, ok, ok. Stop.
And grandma is not a *** party girl.
Hey, how come you don't date more often?
Because, Josh, honestly, it's a chore sometimes.
And I went out with that guy Lucas for a little while.
Why is it a chore?
Because when you get to be my age, Josh, it's hard to find things in common with other people.
Everybody is this whole world.
It's hard to incorporate that into your life, pile all of that in.
So you'd never get married?
Married? No, let's just stick to dating.
So the plumber guy, where did he take you?
Roy. We went to a bar.
Did he kiss you?
No, Josh.
Did he try?
No, phew.
So how many dates before you would have sex with him?
Twenty to twenty-five dates.
Really?
No, no.
No, there's no fixed number.
Actually, no they say that after three dates you have to, which is ***.
Lavinia lives by those rules and look where it gotten her.
No, there is no set number of dates.
You do it when you want and not a minute before.
Rule number one with sex, Josh, don't do anything you don't want to do.
And don't make anyone else do anything they don't want to do.
In any case, it's good to keep men waiting.
Yeah, don't put out too quickly, right?
Don't talk like that.
This guy, ah, would you go out with him again?
I would, actually.
But I probably scared him away.
Oh. Who wouldn't want to go out with you, Mom?
Did you write that song?
Yeah, I did.
Is it for me?
Dream on, biotch!
Hey, shut the door.