Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
This... Is the entrance. To...
-Err... -Narnia. Let's go.
Really?
-WHOA, YEP it's Narnia! -Yep, there we go, Narnia. Definitely Narnia.
Ooh, god, what the hell is that?
Doritos?
Some weird face...?
Bergly Sanders...
OH GOD NOT THAT THING.
What what thing?
THAT thing.
What is it?
Did you never have-- It was on, umm... One of the very first GameBoys, the GameBoy Camera.
-Oh yeah! -Do you not remember that?
Yeah.
That RUINED my childhood...
"OH YEAH"...
Magical train... A penguin...?!
The ***?!
And...
-Who're you? -A BIRD.
This one has eyes on it... Okay...
Okay...?
Ooohohoh no... wai jams
wai u do dis
becus dis gaem, it broek
dis gaem, it--
Whuh? IS THAT A DOLLAR--
No...? That is...
"Do not need be thousand year get linefriend! silly DAN-PEN, not even!!"
... Can you pick it up?
What does it even...
-Whoooaa... -What's it trying to say to us?
... Okay...
WHAT THE...
Um?
Wha-what're we dealing with here?
I'm not sure I want to know...
Oh?
-How many dolla? 10. We need 10 dolla to move on-- -Dude, that door just appeared.
-Did it? -Yeah.
-Let's go in. -Just pinged into e--
... Nice!
Okay, and that just pops us back through.
-Yeah. -Sweet!
-Okay, what's in here. -Oh god, all the textures are just blurring into one.
It's a vomit of textures.
The floor is vomit.
-Pony vomit. -My feet are soggy.
My feet are going for private paddles in my bootsies.
In... Pony vomit.
Wh-wh...
-HI I'M SEXY! -So fabulous!
-Such fabulous. Much style. -wow.
Where is this taking us...
It's taking us to a brand new world, where we'll discover many things...
Such as...
AIDS.
... Do we want to discover AIDS?
No.
-Well then why're we... -Because the game wants us to discover AIDS.
And it's not a question if we want to or not. Because we are one.
Okay, WHERE are we?
Because I think that was a circle.
We are AIDS now.
-That... Uhh, my head... -IIIIIIIIIT'S CHLAMYDIA WORLD!!!
YES!! It's the entrance to chlamyl-chla-chal-ch... Chlamydia Land! I'm sorry.
Clerrchlerchlerchlerr!!
World 3, people! I think. We need to find more dolla. So we can move on.
Ramp...?
It's heaven...
...WHAT.
-Aww, I recognize that. -Really?
Aww, I rec-... What is that?
Ahh, damnit, what is this?
Dollaz!
-Ah! Excellent! -Tres dollaz!
-... Dolla, dolla, dolla! -We got 3 dolla! Nice!
-Okay...? -Right!
Uh, there's a dolla on that chair...
Is there? Ahh yeah. What's this, it's a Yoshi-- No Yoshi beyond this point.
-Platforming! -Well I'm gonna go get the cholla- The cholla dair first...
-Leap! -It's very fiddly.
Awwwwwwwww.... You suck.
(...)
(Mmmh. Uhh.)
(Mmh. Okay.)
(Yeah. Mmmh.)
(We've run out of things to say...)
Oh for...
Leeeeap!!
"HOLLA HOLLA GET DOLLA"
Yeahh!
Okay, so... Down there, next, I suppose?
Bip bip bip... Bop.
-What IS that? -Starburst!
I miss Starburst!
-Starburst is so good. -Really?
-Yeah. -Never had it.
REALLY? Ahh you're missing out! I need to take you to England so we can buy some Starburst.
Okay...? Yeah, so 10 dollaz to get up there.
How do we-- Okay.
I'd like to understand what the floor is made out of. But...
It's, they've taken game cartridges and they've chucked them in an incinerator.
And then they ate it and then they vomited it out... Whilst eating cinnamon.
... Okay.
That's probably the closest I'm gonna get to an actual answer, so I'll take it!
THERE'S SOMETHING OVER THERE!!
-How do we get on the roof? -I don't know...
What happens if we just-- Oh there's a dolla. What happens if we just run up to it with not enough money?
Ohh... Ohh! Ohh no.
-How dare you. -Ooh you lil' ***!
There's so many secrets to this place...
NO-- Oh for ***'s sake.
You- You're not gonna- No... No, you're not gonna-
...
I told you you'd make it.
Where can we find more dolla?
We gotta get more DOLLAZ.
DOLLAZ. But WHERE?
-Yoshiiii... OHHH give me stuff. -Is it a Yoshi?
-Yeah, it's a baby Yoshi. -Oh, it's a very old looking Yoshi.
-Yeah, it's from Super Mario World. -Ahhh...
-Where do we go! -I don't know! Not back down there.
-Have another look round here? See if there's anything that's- -There was another dolla over there but we couldn't reach it.
There's another dolla up there! Hoooowwww...
... What?
"YUWHEEEEEH"
... What?!
:O
... Oh.
I FOUND A SECRET WORLD!! Ahh!! What's that over there?!
-Is that a chicken? -That's a picture of a chicken...
Ohh, why couldn't that have been Nicolas Cage.
Wh... Wh... WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!
Just get the dolla and move on...
"HOLLA HOLLA GET DOLLA"
What does it MEAN?!
Means we got 6 dollaz.
Why does it look so tasty... I DON'T UNDERSTAND...
Maybe... If we go this way, whilst we're on this platform, we can get to the secret dolla!
It makes SENSE now!
-Nahhh it doesn't. -Yeah it does.
-Nah it dun'. -Dun'.
-Not. -Yes it--
... MmmmmHM! That's what I THOUGHT!
*warbling*
SILENCE. Thank you.
-I do not understand anything-- -I swear there was another dolla here.
-Or was it- It was up there... -It was up there. I was wondering what you were on about.
Go visit the flaming ball, in that room. See if something's changed.
...
Really?
How to get dolla.
Fantastic Game how to get dolla. "Holla holla get dolla on Tumblr"...
"Platforming near orb room, press P to teleport to... Rotating color chamber..."
"Pay $1 to enter Waluigi tunnel behind fa--"
... Oh.
Behind Fantastic Orb.
Yeah, ok...
The ***?!
...
It's WALUGI!! Or lord and saviour!!
-And two dolla! -Ooh!
"Have you ever noticed that Waluigi wears cyan eyeshadow?"
I've ALWAYS wondered why he wore that.
(...)
Ahh!
-What? -You stand on that, it'll wibble and fling you off...?
-Yeah. -Ah, it's super-spinny.
-HUEH -... Yeah, let's not do that right now...
Jump blindly off the ledge here...
...
"HOLLA HOLLA GET DOLLA"
Eight dollaz!
Come on, come on, we can make it, we can make it!
-YYYYEEEEESS!! -Remember this is turning, so just, err...
"HOLLA HOLLA GET DOLLA"
ONE left. How do we get to it...
Duuun dun dun, dududu...
Where in God's name are we.
We haven't been here!
HOW DO YOU KNOW
It all looks the saaaaame...
-YES!! -Ah! No Yoshi.
-"HOLLA HOLLA GET DOLLA"
-Okay... -We've done it!!
Is there just gonna be another jumpscare at the end of all this?
-Shrek returns! -OH GOD
-Let's go! -Yep! Just get up there...
Please say this is the end...
-I can't deal with getting anymore dollaz... -I think it's over.
Well... We've done it, hopefully.
-End of our journey. -OH NO!!
...Yoooooooouuu stupid little thing, you...
I SWEAR I didn't do that in purpose.
Uhhh, all the way back up...
-With the music! -Oh god...
Don't... Slide off... And don't mess up jumping off the cube.
-My finger really hurts. -GOOD.
Kay, leap, aaaand...
...
-Honey, I'm home! -Hallo?!
-It's a Lucozade fountain!! -Ohh yay!...
It's just a-- Oh God, that's thin...
Oh jeez... Oh God--
OH WHAT THE--
WHAT
JESUS, what the hell?!
The ***?!
Okay, well... That's the end!!
EYYY, it's our friend!
Oh, hey! Feelin' fantastic!
It's over.
We finished the game!
Well.
-*stretching* -That took too bloody long.
-What an excellent game. -Jesus Christ...
Ah, right. Let's go get something to eat.
-Much amaze. -Such wow.