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Hello! I'm Vanja, and I'm 35 years old.
I live with my boyfriend, Nicklas. We're having our first child.
In this series, you'll follow me throughout my pregnancy.
PREGNANT - WEEK BY WEEK VANJA
Hello again! I'm going to show you my belly again - here it is!
Voilà!
Week 21. It's moving along nicely, I think.
Something that has been glaringly obvious this week-
-is that I've been insanely tired.
Everything's been great, I've been happy and at peace-
-and I still am, I still feel good, but when the alarm goes off...
"This cannot be true. I can't get up now." Snooze!
And then it goes off nine minutes later and I'm like:
"This cannot be true. It's the middle of the night."
I'm just so tired in the mornings, it's absolutely crazy.
During the days, I'm energetic and happy-
-but it's a struggle to get up in the mornings.
Something else I've been pondering is the whole worry thing-
-which goes hand in hand with being pregnant.
Normally, I'm the kind of person who doesn't worry at all.
I'm up-beat and positive, thinking everything will work out.
But ever since we decided to have a child-
-it's just been there, the whole worry thing.
Nicklas and I went out to dinner, and I got food poisoning.
When we got home, I started feeling really sick.
I spent the night on the couch, stretched out.
I felt so bad, really nauseous, it was horrible.
It was horrible to feel sick, but that wasn't the hard part-
-but rather that I was so insanely worried about our baby.
And it hits you so hard when you're feeling sick-
-that you have a small person living inside you.
You want to take care of and protect that person in the best way possible.
And when you're feeling so sick yourself...
I felt so bad about what I had eaten, even though it wasn't my fault.
I became so sad and wondered how he was doing.
It was just horrible and it made me think...
You think about miscarriages, that incredibly tough situation-
-that, unfortunately, a lot of people experience.
Being pregnant has truly changed the way I view miscarriages.
I have friends who have gone through it more than once, unfortunately.
I've known that it's awful, but I've still thought:
"OK, get back in the saddle. Of course you have to try again."
Sure, it's hard, but you'd do it.
Now I just feel... I read about a girl who lost her baby in week 22-
-which is close to where I'm at right now.
It's so ineffably sad! How do you even manage?
You've lived with this baby for such a long, long time.
Being pregnant myself, I know-
-that this baby has been a part of our family since week one.
We've been a trio for quite a while - me, Nicklas and this new little life.
Losing that this late... It would be ineffably sad.
That's just something I've been thinking about lately.
I'm going to cheer up now... Bye!
Translation: Linda Jansson www.sdimedia.com