Tip:
Highlight text to annotate it
X
I am so excited!
makeovers today!
I barely get to spend any time alone with her
since she started dating Dixon.
He is always around.
just me and Olive.
for companionship,
because you've mistaken me for someone
who cares about your life.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
girl time?
Sure. Just one problem.
He's not a girl.
He's pretty, but he's not a girl.
The spy business is a very lonely business,
I didn't want Dixon to feel left out.
Come on, you can do my makeup,
I'll do Dixon's, and Dixon can do yours.
Dixon?
Don't worry, Chyna.
I've actually taken courses in makeup application.
I know what I'm doing.
Really? Okay. (SIGHS)
Thanks, Chyna. I look great.
makeup on me.
And Chyna, what do you think?
in disguise makeup.
like a hamburger?
Come on, Chyna, you look great.
All you need are a couple of accessories.
Oh, you mean like a milkshake and a side of fries?
Look at her. She's an unhappy meal.
(LAUGHING)
(SIGHS)
♪ Ooh, ooh Doo, doo
♪ Ooh, ooh Doo, doo
Whoo!
♪ Everybody's got that thing
♪ Something different we all bring
♪ Don't you let 'em clip your wings
♪ You got it You got it
♪ We're on fire and we blaze
♪ In extraordinary ways
♪ 365 days
♪ We got it We got it
♪ You can dream it
♪ You can be it
♪ If you can feel it
♪ You can believe it
♪ 'Cause I am, you are, we are
♪ Exceptional Exceptional
♪ Yeah, I am, you are, we are
♪ Exceptional Exceptional
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
Whoo!
Hey, Olive, Dixon.
I'd hate to be a third wheel again.
Don't worry, Chyna,
you're not a third wheel.
He is.
We're on a date, Philip! Take a hint!
Anyway, Dixon,
this just came for you.
It's an envelope!
Maybe there's something inside of it.
It's a digital voice recorder!
Lucky guess.
WOMAN: Good afternoon, Dixon.
This is the National Intelligence Agency.
We are contacting you
(MOUTHING)
A top-secret operation?
Yes, a top-secret operation.
for a mission!
Your wait for a mission is over.
You must go to Washington D.C.
and run surveillance on the Canadian embassy.
is happening.
for renovations.
But do not be fooled by that,
or the fact that Canada is one of our closest allies.
That's what they want us to believe.
Sneaky Canucks.
Well, I better get into my work clothes.
There. Now I'm ready.
You have to leave right now?
WOMAN: You have to leave right now.
to the agency,
we will deny any knowledge of the mission,
and not at all pretend.
Well, goodbye, Dixon! See you!
I'm sorry, Olive. Duty calls.
Philip, I need your unicycle!
Official government business!
(GRUNTS)
Got all the clothes...
...in!
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
(GASPS)
No!
Lexi, you got a minute?
No, I don't have a minute!
Or enough closet space!
driving video game.
We're trying to access the servers and play it
before it's released to the public.
I can't get past the security.
the encryption algorithm.
Okay, but we better hurry,
by the undertow.
Undertow? There's no...
(SCREAMS)
All right. You're in.
You're a genius!
Sorry. I mean you're beautiful.
(GAME MUSIC PLAYING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
look so real.
This room would make a perfect walk-in closet.
into that storefront!
(GLASS SHATTERS)
Well, it was only a bookstore.
No one reads anymore anyway.
This is so much fun!
Just us girls,
having girl time, doing girl stuff.
Oh, let's talk about boys.
Dixon?
Dixie Cup!
You're back!
But it's only been two days!
Two glorious Dixon-free days.
I had to abort the mission
because I was discovered by a teenage Russian spy,
cleverly disguised as a bowl of borscht.
But the trip wasn't a total loss,
because I brought her back with me.
Olive, this is my girlfriend, Oksana.
Oksana, this is my ex-girlfriend, Olive.
(STUTTERS) Ex-girlfriend? What are you talking about?
Oops.
I skipped that part, didn't I?
I think we should see other people.
I am the "other people."
I don't understand.
Dixon dumped me?
How did this happen?
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Why are you asking me?
and secret missions?
(SOBBING)
Want to talk about boys?
Olive? Are you feeling better?
(WAILING)
A little.
Maybe this is for the best.
I mean, what kind of guy
would dump you for some
not-at-all exotic girl
he has nothing in common with
who he met on some completely real spy mission?
I know, right?
I wish he had never been
sent on that completely real spy mission!
Well, there's nothing we can do about it now.
Other than continuing to refer to it
as a "completely real spy mission."
of fish in the sea.
But Dixon was a really cute fish!
Like Monkeyface prickleback fish cute!
I'll never find another guy!
in bed crying.
neuroscientific study
an olfactory chemosignal
that reduces romantic response in men?
Yes.
(WAILING)
Don't be sad.
Someone better.
Not because I'm in any way responsible for any of this,
but because plenty of guys want to date you.
Really?
Absolutely!
in school!
to go out with...
...Zeezoo?
Zingzang?
Zoozibble?
Zazow. (SOBBING)
Come on. (SIGHS) I'll prove it to you.
Who wants to go out with Olive?
Looks like they're all afraid to compete with...
...Zoozibble.
I knew I'd heard that somewhere!
I told you there was no one else for me.
No one!
I want my Dixie Cup back.
Well, if that's what you want,
then I will make that my mission.
Not that I know anything about missions.
(SOBBING)
(GAME MUSIC PLAYING)
Guys, did you see the front page
of this completely real newspaper?
Nobody reads!
what it says.
"An out-of-control car in Palo Alto
"has caused millions of dollars of damage,
"including wrecking a bookstore."
That's weird.
in the game.
Don't you get it?
It's not a game!
driverless car!
all that damage?
I'm not saying it.
This completely real newspaper is.
are determined
to justice
in Palo Alto
"described as undesirable to women."
Oh, no, they have our descriptions!
Wait! I know.
Why don't you guys hide out in my closet?
and shoes?
Don't worry.
I'll figure something out.
(ELEVATOR DINGING)
Dixon, can I talk to you for a minute?
Can it wait? I'm meeting Oksana.
She's helping me study for my spy exam.
(INHALING) It's torture.
Why, is it, like, really hard?
No. This semester we're studying torture.
About Oksana.
Do you really think you two belong together?
You need someone you can talk to,
of making you talk.
in your heart,
girl for you.
OKSANA: (SCREAMING) You!
Get away from him!
You try to steal Dixie Cup!
No, not at all.
I was talking about Olive.
Dixon, tell her.
Dixon? Where are you?
Are you in disguise makeup?
Are you the cantaloupe? Tell her, cantaloupe!
You now become my blood enemy!
we're moving too fast?
Maybe we should start as regular enemies,
to blood enemies.
I would even be willing to try blood frenemies.
This is what I do to blood frenemies.
(YELLING) Ya!
listen to me.
I'm not interested in Dixon!
(YELLING) Liar!
All girlies want Dixie Cup!
That is so not true!
I want Dixie Cup!
"a hilarious coincidence."
out of peoples!
You know the best way to get the truth out of me?
Close your eyes and count to 100.
I only learn to count to 20 in English.
Oh, that's okay. That'll work.
One. Seven.
Four. Ten. W.
Six. Yellow.
Lexi, we need to talk about this "arrangement."
Um, I can explain.
to school together,
something like this.
Really?
Because I feel like I've done way worse.
and putting it in here.
That must have been a huge hassle for you.
Thanks.
Oh, right, the hiding spot.
You're welcome.
Now back in the hole, fugitives!
Uh, there's one problem.
I can't spend that much time
in a confined space with Fletcher.
my flatulence!
Hey, I don't always complain!
Sometimes I'm just unconscious.
It is way too dangerous
for you guys to be in here!
The cops were all over this place
right before you walked in.
They boxed up all your stuff and
took it away as evidence.
get out of here!
Good idea. See you.
Wait!
We'll never escape on foot.
Lexi read about
in that completely real newspaper?
No! You can't do that!
Sure we can!
to drive it here
the door. Right?
I guess so.
Ugh!
Tricking people out of their rooms
so you can turn it into a walk-in closet
should not be this difficult!
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
(SIGHING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
What's wrong?
Dixie Cup back for me.
Dixie Cup
and just be Solo Cup for a while.
You deserve someone who won't run off
he sees.
have you?
me feel better,
what I'm going through.
Nobody would ever break up with you,
because everybody loves you.
You can't understand how it feels to be afraid
of having no one and ending up alone.
about being alone,
because I'll always be here for you.
Dixie Cup thief?
Except now! Gotta run!
any second.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Is this the driverless car?
with no driver?
Wow!
You'd think Lexi's closet would have more clothes.
And less of a stale flatulence smell.
Aha! There you is, Chyna!
Now admit you want Dixie Cup!
Okay, the truth is...
I'm not Chyna.
My real name Dorianna Bannisterovich.
You Dorianna Bannisterovich?
Head of Russian Secret Agency?
There's really a Dorianna Bannisterovich?
I mean da, da.
Don't worry about Chyna.
Agency took care of her.
She tried to escape in elaborate makeup.
This all that's left of her now.
You think I born tomorrow?
I know you not Dorianna Bannisterovich.
And this not Chyna. This...
Delicious!
All American food taste this good?
Yes.
and vengeance thing
and just stay in America.
in America,
is a dish best served
with a side of fries.
This driverless car is amazing.
Although I don't know why we slow down
or a cute guy.
(SIREN WAILING)
The cops are everywhere.
There's only one way out of this.
We need this car to drive us to Canada!
Canada? No way! I'm not doing that!
Who said that?
Angus, it's obvious what's going on here.
The driverless car talks!
(IN ROBOTIC TONE) Yes, I am the car.
Beep-beep.
Take us to Canada, talking car!
No. Why should I listen to someone
seat for miles?
You have more gas than I do.
(GASPING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(CRASHING)
Lexi?
What's going on?
Okay. You were playing a game.
You didn't cause any damage.
as a closet.
So you lied to us?
also lied to us!
Never mind that!
I destroyed a bookstore!
Luckily, no one got hurt,
because no one reads anymore.
for all this damage.
I can't afford that!
Then you'd better hide.
And I think I know just the place.
safe in my closet?
Shh! I hear someone coming.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
(SIGHING)
Hey, Olive.
Hey, Fletcher.
Did Chyna send you up here to talk to me?
No, I haven't seen Chyna.
I was driving to Canada in a fake talking car.
Oh. That's nice.
What? You're not going to make fun of me
or call me stupid? What's wrong?
Ah... You wouldn't understand.
Relationship problems.
(EXHALING) I got dumped.
I know how you feel.
I was dumped recently, too.
By Kennedy.
You're going to go through some phases.
At first you'll feel like a total loser.
(SCOFFING) Then what?
in this phase for a while.
(LAUGHS)
Thanks, Fletcher. I needed that.
It's not easy being alone.
You're not alone.
Look, I know we fight all the time,
but I'm always here for you.
What just happened?
Your face bumped into my lips!
No! No, you kissed me! And...
I don't feel like vomiting.
Me neither. What is happening?
Olive, there you are.
Uh-huh.
Look, I have a confession to make.
I sent Dixon away.
It's my fault he broke up with you.
I feel terrible. Can you ever forgive me?
friends do.
They kiss and make up. And...
And by that I mean they reconcile
because why would you literally kiss me?
Or anyone kiss me? Especially Fletcher.
I wasn't talking about Fletcher.
Who is, ever?
Look, I totally forgive you, Chyna.
I'm over Dixon.
Mmm-hmm.
over heels in love with him.
and debonair,
and handsome, and handsome...
The lady said she's over him!
Okay. Fine. Sorry.
So...
What now?
the kiss and what it means,
or we could just pretend it never happened.
Or we could kiss again.
Okay.
Get out of here, Philip!
We're trying to have a moment!
Hey, Dixie Cup.
I heard Oksana broke up with you.
Feeling better?
(WAILING)
A little.
Dude, you need to forget about Oksana.
Tell you what,
I'm sure I could find another girl to go out with you.
Of course, it won't be easy.
You're not exactly...
...Zoozibble.
Okay! Who wants to go out with Dixon?
(ALL SCREAMING)